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I NEED help in controlling my sexual desires!!!!

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  • I NEED help in controlling my sexual desires!!!!

    Assalamualaikum,
    I am a 22 year old female and something embarrassing has been going on with me. Since I have turned 22 I feel my sexual desires starting to kick in. I am DESPERATE FOR GETTING MARRIED. But unfortunately each time I have been getting a proposal people have been so DEMANDING with doctor, money, etc. That they reject me. I know that if one has sexual desires to marry as soon as possible. However my family and I are seriously searching but people have become so PICKY that I am not getting married yet (I'm not picky I just want a good Muslim man). Anyhow I know the next best thing is to fast but the issue is I am not able to fast at the moment because of a serious medical condition that I have to take care of that my doctor won't let me fast. Anyhow what is the next best thing for me to control my desires for sex? I long to get close to a man but what can I do if people have become so picky its not my fault! It's also sad how sexualized our society has become especially where I live in America sex sells. Even when you go outside you see really dirty things right in front of your face along with music and tv shows to make it worse. I just don't know what to do and when my time will come for me to get married!!!

  • #2
    Re: I NEED help in controlling my sexual desires!!!!

    :salams

    Say Alhamdulillah that your parents are looking for you because a lot of people's parents want them to wait x years or finish university or get a job first. Continue looking and :insha: you'll find someone just right. Maybe, spread the word to your family and relatives and the masjid that you are looking as well.

    Keep yourself busy with beneficial things :insha: so your mind is away from sexual thoughts. And stay away from movies and TV/music.
    Secure few moments, everyday, to reflect upon the innumerable blessings of Allah and thank Him for bestowing them upon you.

    "A person who is blessed with the ability to be grateful, shall never be deprived of barakah and increase in blessings."
    - Rasulullah (صلی اللہ علیہ وسلم)‎

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    • #3
      Re: I NEED help in controlling my sexual desires!!!!

      At least your parents are looking. Mines just leave me to it and I think will delay it until I am like 30 or something.

      And for a man, my desires are much worse. I am only after affection and love truly as I have a lack of this in my life.

      And as mirror said above, at least your parents are looking. So many of our parents would rather mentally torture us rather than get us married. It has messed us up mentally
      Ya Muqallib Al-Quloob Thabbit Qalbi Alaa Deenik
      ( O changer of hearts, keep my heart steadfast on your deen)

      www.treasureofthescholars.wordpress.com

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      • #4
        Re: I NEED help in controlling my sexual desires!!!!

        Just be patient. You'll find a good suitor for you soon :insha:

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        • #5
          Re: I NEED help in controlling my sexual desires!!!!

          وعليكم السلام ورحمة الله وبركاته

          I heard a scholar from the ahlul bayt عليهم السلام say:

          Ya Qahhar - 181x times

          and

          هُوَ اللَّهُ الَّذِي لَا إِلَٰهَ إِلَّا هُوَ ۖ عَالِمُ الْغَيْبِ وَالشَّهَادَةِ ۖ هُوَ الرَّحْمَٰنُ الرَّحِيمُ

          "He is Allah , other than whom there is no deity, Knower of the unseen and the witnessed. He is the Entirely Merciful, the Especially Merciful."

          http://tanzil.net/#59:22

          100x times.

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          • #6
            Re: I NEED help in controlling my sexual desires!!!!

            Originally posted by firestar101 View Post
            At least your parents are looking. Mines just leave me to it and I think will delay it until I am like 30 or something.

            And for a man, my desires are much worse. I am only after affection and love truly as I have a lack of this in my life.

            And as mirror said above, at least your parents are looking. So many of our parents would rather mentally torture us rather than get us married. It has messed us up mentally
            Yeah but all men don't necessarily have higher desires than all women. More likely, but not always the case at all. That is just an assumption and the fact that many people consider a woman wanting to be intimate to be hush hush and not fit in with the pure, idealistic (yet untrue) view.

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            • #7
              Re: I NEED help in controlling my sexual desires!!!!

              salam.
              i didn't know the guys side was that picky too. i've noticed the girls side are picky because they want handsome doctor or engineer, who owns a house and a car. oh he also must have a phd, and have the most awesome personality. anyways. u should keep urself busy. whether its with work, school, housework etc. my mom is looking for me and for guys it can be hard because we need degree, money, job, car, house etc. for now i just stay busy with school, go to gym, play games, etc. it's hard but it will pay off in the long run.
              and i also live in america. welcome to the forum

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              • #8
                Re: I NEED help in controlling my sexual desires!!!!

                Its the same thing with girls too now. All these proposals I get are rejecting me because of job, money, looks, etc. They all want money, looks, nice jobs, Indian/Pakistani descent, and the list goes on.... Doesn't anyone want a good Muslims with good deen? Where did the good people go? Where did the good boys go? ARE ANY OF YOU OUT THERE?!

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                • #9
                  Re: I NEED help in controlling my sexual desires!!!!

                  Originally posted by 146sunshine View Post
                  Its the same thing with girls too now. All these proposals I get are rejecting me because of job, money, looks, etc. They all want money, looks, nice jobs, Indian/Pakistani descent, and the list goes on.... Doesn't anyone want a good Muslims with good deen? Where did the good people go? Where did the good boys go? ARE ANY OF YOU OUT THERE?!
                  146sunshine meet hassaan561 and firestar101 :)

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: I NEED help in controlling my sexual desires!!!!

                    Originally posted by 146sunshine View Post
                    Its the same thing with girls too now. All these proposals I get are rejecting me because of job, money, looks, etc. They all want money, looks, nice jobs, Indian/Pakistani descent, and the list goes on.... Doesn't anyone want a good Muslims with good deen? Where did the good people go? Where did the good boys go? ARE ANY OF YOU OUT THERE?!
                    YES WE'RE OUT HERE!!!!!

                    well education is sort of important. and so is looks. maybe its a sign because u dont want to be married to people u dont share similar views with. but ya i feel ur pain. seems like nobody cares about ur values, character, or religion. patience my sis. we're all in the struggle together lol.

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                    • #11
                      Re: I NEED help in controlling my sexual desires!!!!

                      Originally posted by Winter View Post
                      146sunshine meet hassaan561 and firestar101 :)
                      lol..i do wonder though there are so many single people on here but they can't get married because of the forum rules.

                      also on campus there are so many practicing people who would make great couples but cant because of culture. there should be an organization where u can see whose looking to get married instead of relying on aunties u may or may not know. just sounds like the system is outdated.

                      wat about u winter? r u not in the race to marry?

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                      • #12
                        Re: I NEED help in controlling my sexual desires!!!!

                        Originally posted by hassaan561 View Post
                        lol..i do wonder though there are so many single people on here but they can't get married because of the forum rules.

                        also on campus there are so many practicing people who would make great couples but cant because of culture. there should be an organization where u can see whose looking to get married instead of relying on aunties u may or may not know. just sounds like the system is outdated.

                        wat about u winter? r u not in the race to marry?
                        Who said you can't get married from someone on the forum. I'm sure there have been a few marriage from here.

                        Yeah I always found the whole going to someone house who you don't know or barely know and ask for their daughters hand lol

                        No not really. Like many I do desire a companion but also like my freedom at the moment :)

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                        • #13
                          Re: I NEED help in controlling my sexual desires!!!!

                          Originally posted by Winter View Post
                          Who said you can't get married from someone on the forum. I'm sure there have been a few marriage from here.

                          Yeah I always found the whole going to someone house who you don't know or barely know and ask for their daughters hand lol

                          No not really. Like many I do desire a companion but also like my freedom at the moment :)
                          oh i thought they had rule where u can't get married since its not a matrimonial site. plus most people are from uk anyways. i'm in usa. they should make a thread about how to do it on the forum. like what are the rules or steps.

                          u don't ask for the hand right away. u got meet them with ur family, talk to them etc, and then decide. it can take weeks to months. depends.

                          i like freedom too but after a while u want to go to the next step in life. maybe ur still young so u think that way. dont follow the western ideology where u want to get a job, make money, party, buy cars etc, and then marry later. basically they look at marriage and children as burden and something that ruins freedom. but in the process, they are committing so many sins. and some of the people with this thinking are muslims mind u.

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                          • #14
                            Re: I NEED help in controlling my sexual desires!!!!

                            Lol @ hassaan561 and @ Winter you guys seem to have taken over my thread here. You 2 got a little party going on in here! But for real though living in Western society is hard! Especially for the fact that sex sells it makes it worse!

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                            • #15
                              Re: I NEED help in controlling my sexual desires!!!!

                              Keep yourself involved in acts of worship and secluded yourself from haraam. Take very strong care one what you eat also.
                              "Quis Custodiet Ipsos Custodes"

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