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Is it halal to email your potential spouse as long as the wali knows about it?

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  • Is it halal to email your potential spouse as long as the wali knows about it?

    Assalamu Alaikum

    Would this be ok? So for example, say you email a potential spouse, not for the sake of casual chatting but because you need to tell them necessary information, and you tell your wali that you emailed them about that information, is that ok? Although the wali is not checking all the emails but he knows you're in communication and roughly what you're communicating about?

  • #2
    Re: Is it halal to email your potential spouse as long as the wali knows about it?

    Originally posted by DaughterOfAdam View Post
    Assalamu Alaikum

    Would this be ok? So for example, say you email a potential spouse, not for the sake of casual chatting but because you need to tell them necessary information, and you tell your wali that you emailed them about that information, is that ok? Although the wali is not checking all the emails but he knows you're in communication and roughly what you're communicating about?
    why cant wali relay information?

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    • #3
      Re: Is it halal to email your potential spouse as long as the wali knows about it?

      Originally posted by nonameakhi View Post
      why cant wali relay information?
      What if you want to ask questions that you know your wali won't ask about?

      E.g if the wali doesn't care about X but you do, and you want to ask the potential about it.
      اللهُمَّ أَعِزَّ الإِسْلامَ وَالمُسْلِمِينَ

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      • #4
        Re: Is it halal to email your potential spouse as long as the wali knows about it?

        Originally posted by The Awakening View Post
        What if you want to ask questions that you know your wali won't ask/care about?
        Tell the wali to ask that specific question lol
        Through fire and water… From the lowest dungeon to the highest peak I fought with the Balrog of Morgoth… Until at last I threw down my enemy and smote his ruin upon the mountain side… Darkness took me, and I strayed out of thought and time… The stars wheeled overhead, and every day was as long as a life age of the earth… But it was not the end. I felt life in me again. I've been sent back until my task is done.

        http://media.giphy.com/media/125pZ6JB0FVrxe/giphy.gif

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        • #5
          Re: Is it halal to email your potential spouse as long as the wali knows about it?

          Originally posted by The Awakening View Post
          What if you want to ask questions that you know your wali won't ask?
          generally the wali isn't fulfilling their role and can potentially be changed

          specifically these days I appreciate there is a lack of understanding often

          generally potentials can communicate to each other ONLY with regards to matters of the engagement (otherwise it is still free mixing and haram until nikah) according to some ulema but the emphasis is still to do it through guardians

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          • #6
            Re: Is it halal to email your potential spouse as long as the wali knows about it?

            Originally posted by Thedon! View Post
            Tell the wali to ask that specific question lol
            Never mind. I'm not even sure how to explain what I mean lol
            اللهُمَّ أَعِزَّ الإِسْلامَ وَالمُسْلِمِينَ

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            • #7
              Re: Is it halal to email your potential spouse as long as the wali knows about it?

              Pretty sure that wouldn't be allowed. Not certain though.

              Thats because Islamically the wali has to be present and looking at everything thats happening so he can stop the loose talk. He won't be able to do that if he's not reading the emails in real time.

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              • #8
                Re: Is it halal to email your potential spouse as long as the wali knows about it?

                You are allowed a meeting with the potential so if theres a question that needs to be asked, a simple email shouldnt really be a problem

                A face to face meeting is probably the way to go. Thats where you ask all the questions and the wali can be nearby, just not with you

                May Allah grant us all proper knowledge
                Believe
                there is
                good in the world

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                • #9
                  Re: Is it halal to email your potential spouse as long as the wali knows about it?

                  Originally posted by DaughterOfAdam View Post
                  Assalamu Alaikum

                  Would this be ok? So for example, say you email a potential spouse, not for the sake of casual chatting but because you need to tell them necessary information, and you tell your wali that you emailed them about that information, is that ok? Although the wali is not checking all the emails but he knows you're in communication and roughly what you're communicating about?
                  :wswrwb:

                  No it would not be okay,

                  if you wish to ask a Potential spouse a question, have a discussion with them, then you must do so in the presence of a Mahram,

                  or if you don't want to meet face to face with your Mahram, then relay the Question through the wali,

                  :jkk:
                  http://www.ilovepalestine.com/campai...imesinGaza.gif

                  "It does not befit the lion to answer the dogs."

                  – Imam al-Shafi’i (Rahimahullah)

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                  • #10
                    Re: Is it halal to email your potential spouse as long as the wali knows about it?

                    Originally posted by DaughterOfAdam View Post
                    Assalamu Alaikum

                    Would this be ok? So for example, say you email a potential spouse, not for the sake of casual chatting but because you need to tell them necessary information, and you tell your wali that you emailed them about that information, is that ok? Although the wali is not checking all the emails but he knows you're in communication and roughly what you're communicating about?
                    :wswrwb:

                    How did you come to know of this potential? Have you met him yet?
                    "The more you know, the more you realise how little you know. The less you know, the more you think you know." - Abu Mus'ab.
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                    • #11
                      Re: Is it halal to email your potential spouse as long as the wali knows about it?

                      Originally posted by Darul Ilm View Post
                      :wswrwb:

                      How did you come to know of this potential? Have you met him yet?
                      Hmm I could tell you but does this information affect the permissibility of this?
                      Last edited by DaughterOfAdam; 20-11-14, 04:34 PM.

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                      • #12
                        Re: Is it halal to email your potential spouse as long as the wali knows about it?

                        cc them in hahahahahaha. Joking. I don't know. :/
                        [FONT=Century Gothic][COLOR="#0066ff"][SIZE=4] We're all a little broken in our own little way and the last time I checked, broken crayons still colour the same...[/SIZE][/COLOR][/FONT]

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                        • #13
                          Is it halal to email your potential spouse as long as the wali knows about it?

                          I don't see why it would be a problem, like the comment above you could cc them but even then just show your wali all the communication that is being done between yourself and potential.

                          I actually had another idea; WhatsApp. Everyone uses it in this day and age, you could have a group where yourself, the potential and your wali/mahram will be in it. This way whenever you both talk your wali/mahram will be able to see full conversation in real time. But do ask a scholar on this.

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                          • #14
                            Re: Is it halal to email your potential spouse as long as the wali knows about it?

                            I am dying to speak to my potential, even just a smile or a how are you doing. *cries* (Does he even exist or is just in my head?)

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                            • #15
                              Is it halal to email your potential spouse as long as the wali knows about it?

                              @umm salabil InshaAllah all in good time. What I would recommend is that you let your mother and father know that you are serious about getting married, this way you can get introduced to potentials.

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