Ads by Muslim Ad Network

Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

More practising spouse?

Collapse
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • .mirror.
    replied
    Re: More practising spouse?

    Originally posted by Mockingjay View Post
    May be you haven't been looking for marriage so you don't know the dillemas in searching. Not everything is by the book.

    Of course not on the last one. What I mean is doing five pillars and have good characters. The sister didn't say anything about the potential's characters so I assumed it's all good.

    :wswrwb:
    Then basically you mean a practicing Muslim, which is what we should aim for :insha:

    The whole deen is about perfecting our character.

    Leave a comment:


  • Mockingjay
    replied
    Re: More practising spouse?

    Originally posted by .mirror. View Post
    :salams

    Five pillars are really basic. I mean if you yourself do more than that then don't limit yourself just because there are more women than men. Don't think like that, instead have good hopes from Allah and ask for the best.

    Would you really be OK with someone who does 5 pillars, but takes interest, drinks alcohol, hits you, watches filth online, uses bad language, etc.? Obviously not.
    May be you haven't been looking for marriage so you don't know the dillemas in searching. Not everything is by the book.

    Of course not on the last one. What I mean is doing five pillars and have good characters. The sister didn't say anything about the potential's characters so I assumed it's all good.

    :wswrwb:

    Leave a comment:


  • amatullahniqabi
    replied
    Re: More practising spouse?

    keep your head up ya ukhti. you will find the right one for you insha'allah.

    Leave a comment:


  • .mirror.
    replied
    Re: More practising spouse?

    Originally posted by serenemuslimah View Post
    Thanks for your advice sisters! We met with families and talked separately, then we talked again over a period of time. It seems like, he's hesitant to change although he acknowledges the importance of salaah. To implement salaah bears a difficulty for him (all times not praying) he was very concerned with my happiness though and if I was willing to accept him like this. Even if he had just told me (and actually did) pray one salaah or so from our initial conversation, I would have had some hope. He was honest and clear that it did not happen. Right now, it saddens me utterly and I am unable to proceed with this. I wondered if I overthink things, because I am willing to assist and help him so we can grow together but if he can't even get the salaah (starting with just the fard) done? He did listen to me without interrupting about the need for salaah in our lives, to appreciate Allah, it being a fundamental principle in Islam, it being the first thing we will be accounted for..etc I feel so low-point right now. Best focus on myself for awhile. JazaakAllahu khayran.
    Salaah is between a Muslim and Allah. Don't think you getting married will make him pray salaah because of you. It has to come from him.

    If you pray 5 times a day, then at least find someone who does the same.

    And why are you feeling low right now? No need to feel low as you are rejecting him for a valid reason. You don't want someone to be a father of your kids who doesn't even adhere to the most important command of Allah.

    May Allah make us all steadfast in salaah and faith.

    Leave a comment:


  • .mirror.
    replied
    Re: More practising spouse?

    Originally posted by Mockingjay View Post
    :wswrwb:

    If he does the five pillars of Islam then that's good enough. Today, there are more women then men. And to find muslim men who practice 5 pillars of Islam is difficult too. So, if you have one in front of you, then just proceed. Otherwise, other girl will take your position.

    That's just meh btw. You can take my advice if you want :)
    :salams

    Five pillars are really basic. I mean if you yourself do more than that then don't limit yourself just because there are more women than men. Don't think like that, instead have good hopes from Allah and ask for the best.

    Would you really be OK with someone who does 5 pillars, but takes interest, drinks alcohol, hits you, watches filth online, uses bad language, etc.? Obviously not.

    Leave a comment:


  • serenemuslimah
    replied
    Re: More practising spouse?

    Thanks for your advice sisters! We met with families and talked separately, then we talked again over a period of time. It seems like, he's hesitant to change although he acknowledges the importance of salaah. To implement salaah bears a difficulty for him (all times not praying) he was very concerned with my happiness though and if I was willing to accept him like this. Even if he had just told me (and actually did) pray one salaah or so from our initial conversation, I would have had some hope. He was honest and clear that it did not happen. Right now, it saddens me utterly and I am unable to proceed with this. I wondered if I overthink things, because I am willing to assist and help him so we can grow together but if he can't even get the salaah (starting with just the fard) done? He did listen to me without interrupting about the need for salaah in our lives, to appreciate Allah, it being a fundamental principle in Islam, it being the first thing we will be accounted for..etc I feel so low-point right now. Best focus on myself for awhile. JazaakAllahu khayran.
    Last edited by serenemuslimah; 10-11-14, 06:47 AM.

    Leave a comment:


  • amatullahniqabi
    replied
    Re: More practising spouse?

    to me the most important thing is that he would allow me freedom to practice to the degree i wish (i.e. won't interfere with me wearing niqab, won't push me to go out to movies or bars or anything), and that he would not stand in the way of my teaching the kids about prayer and so on. if those things are fine then everything else is fine, alhamdulillah.

    Leave a comment:


  • Mockingjay
    replied
    Re: More practising spouse?

    :wswrwb:

    If he does the five pillars of Islam then that's good enough. Today, there are more women then men. And to find muslim men who practice 5 pillars of Islam is difficult too. So, if you have one in front of you, then just proceed. Otherwise, other girl will take your position.

    That's just meh btw. You can take my advice if you want :)

    Leave a comment:


  • serenemuslimah
    replied
    Re: More practising spouse?

    JazaakAllahu khair :)

    Leave a comment:


  • kakashi
    replied
    Re: More practising spouse?

    :salams

    Marry someone whose character you'er happy with. If he drinks/gambles then keep away as this will have a massive bearing on your children. ALso if his income isn't halal then stay away as you won't be able to use that money for anything. If he's someone who prays regularly then go for it :)

    Leave a comment:


  • @nda
    replied
    Re: More practising spouse?

    asalaamu alaykum. Really its recommended to get married to someone who has good religion and character. But since u say that it looks like he has the potential in both of those, then that's really good because u can increase in iman together. Your main priority is to keep trying to learn more things together and trying to improve yourselves gradually and happily. Pray istikharah prayer and i hope it turns out well for you.

    Leave a comment:


  • ugabs
    replied
    Re: More practising spouse?

    Be a good role model around the children

    Win their hearts by being an example. When you are following the deen, you leave footprints for others to follow

    Then Allah gives taufeeq to who He wills

    Leave a comment:


  • jasmin333
    replied
    Re: More practising spouse?

    Originally posted by Imaam View Post
    So at the end of the world there would be more hell-doomed women that hell-doomed men :)
    i guess so....:(
    i was just talking about the proportion not of the actually numbers. I don't know about the hadeeth.

    Leave a comment:


  • Imaam
    replied
    Re: More practising spouse?

    Originally posted by jasmin333 View Post
    yes but there is also that hadeeth of women ounumbers man (at the end of the world)
    So at the end of the world there would be more hell-doomed women that hell-doomed men :)

    Leave a comment:


  • Bismil
    replied
    Re: More practising spouse?

    Originally posted by Imaam View Post
    How do you measure their level of practising? How many times they go to the mosque?

    Remember, you don't know what's inside the hearts of those men in your sample. They may appear less practising to you but Allah knows what each person is going through. Anyway there's that hadeeth of more women being in hell than men..
    There are different reasons for that , do not think this thread is about that.

    Leave a comment:

Working...
X