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should sexual issues be discussed before marriage?

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  • #16
    Re: should sexual issues be discussed before marriage?

    Originally posted by one_justice View Post
    ^ This is true. Information these days is everywhere. Women know it all.

    But fathers do not believe such things. If you brought it up, they'd probably think you too deviant for their daughters and send you packing.

    Deviant ? Seesh.. I am sure their fathers were having the same thoughts that the man who is coming for asking his(father) daughter's hand in marriage has. I don't know why people ( women and their fathers ) demonize , play down , ignore an integral part of marriage. And later when the marriage crumbles down or the husband goes for another wife or either spouse cheats, they all start to wonder where did it all go wrong.

    These fathers must realize that it isn't pre-world war two era. Sexual revolution has changed everything.

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    • #17
      Re: should sexual issues be discussed before marriage?

      Originally posted by TazZ- View Post
      Deviant ? Seesh.. I am sure their fathers were having the same thoughts that the man who is coming for asking his(father) daughter's hand in marriage has. I don't know why people ( women and their fathers ) demonize , play down , ignore an integral part of marriage. And later when the marriage crumbles down or the husband goes for another wife or either spouse cheats, they all start to wonder where did it all go wrong.
      I'm not saying I agree. I'm all for an engaged couple discussing more intimate matters. I just don't think it's a good idea to let fathers in on it. They would find it too shocking. Even non-Muslim fathers would run a mile not to hear their daughter's name and sex in the same sentence.

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      • #18
        Re: should sexual issues be discussed before marriage?

        Originally posted by one_justice View Post
        I'm not saying I agree. I'm all for an engaged couple discussing more intimate matters. I just don't think it's a good idea to let fathers in on it. They would find it too shocking. Even non-Muslim fathers would run a mile not to hear their daughter's name and sex in the same sentence.
        That is the reason I said discussing these matters with wali is stupid idea. It's not like you will be sleeping with the wali so why does he has to know it . Lol

        I agree with your post.
        Last edited by TazZ-; 26-09-14, 07:41 AM.

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        • #19
          Re: should sexual issues be discussed before marriage?

          Originally posted by .mirror. View Post
          What? Never heard of that one before.

          You probably think that because up until our parents' generation, people had haya (even in non-Muslim societies). Now, behayahi and besharmi is every where (even in Muslim societies). Unfortunate.

          And, what "wide compatibility issues"?

          Agree 100%
          No Longer On UF

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          • #20
            Re: should sexual issues be discussed before marriage?

            Originally posted by one_justice View Post
            I'm not saying I agree. I'm all for an engaged couple discussing more intimate matters. I just don't think it's a good idea to let fathers in on it. They would find it too shocking. Even non-Muslim fathers would run a mile not to hear their daughter's name and sex in the same sentence.
            But the thing is that engaged couples are still as of yet non-mahram so a mahram male of the girl has to be present when they meet be it her father, brother, uncle etc. Therefore it is best to leave these things until after marriage.

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            • #21
              Re: should sexual issues be discussed before marriage?

              Originally posted by raze599 View Post
              But the thing is that engaged couples are still as of yet non-mahram so a mahram male of the girl has to be present when they meet be it her father, brother, uncle etc. Therefore it is best to leave these things until after marriage.
              I'm not talking about the actual act of sex. I mean issues more to do with past relationships and birth control. I don't think these can be left until after marriage but most fathers would not want to be privy to this conversation. Email is a sufficient method of communication. I'm sure most people old enough to get married has shared emails with non-mahrem men and women from work, university or other places.

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              • #22
                Re: should sexual issues be discussed before marriage?

                take it to the male only anon counselling section

                :jkk:
                ⚔ Even in death may you be triumphant ⚔
                U.F Sadaqah Jariyah Project

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