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How do you tell your parents?

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  • #16
    How do you tell your parents?

    OP I know what you mean. I feel way too shy to even breach the subject with my parents :-/
    اللهُمَّ أَعِزَّ الإِسْلامَ وَالمُسْلِمِينَ

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    • #17
      Re: How do you tell your parents?

      Well I'm a guy so I'm gonna wait for another 2 to 3 years, when I'm financially stable or at least have some money to support myself.

      On a Friday after Jummah, around 2pm I'm gonna sit down, make sure the sun is shining and I'm gonna say to my parents, I've got a few sisters (potentials) who I'm interested in, and I think they make good matches. If you can't find anyone better then I'll pursue this, I want to be married before 24 so I'm going to give you 1 months notice before I move to plan B which is to pursue these potentials that I've found and that's if you can't find anyone, or if the potentials you find don't meet my checklist of an ideal spouse then we go to plan B.

      By this time I assume they'll say...

      How will you support yourself? - This is where I hit them with the counter argument, and say well look. I've been saving for 2 to 3 years now from working, and I have around so and so saved up so I'll cover all the expenses and I'll be able to support myself.

      They will probably say... Your not old enough, wait a little longer? - Bam! I go in with, well in all honesty, I didn't go out much while I was at university and I missed out on all the parties, I didn't have any girlfriends I always did what you told me to do and what was best for my deen, and I never broke your trust. I always maintained a respectable manner, now I'm asking you to trust me. I'm 23/24 and I'm ready, if I wait any longer, I'll probably end up doing something wrong?

      Step 3... Well I haven't thought that far ahead, but I'm hoping they'll agree after step 2 to be honest.
      Raising money for Bangladesh in 2019 - www.justgiving.com/minhajul

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      • #18
        Re: How do you tell your parents?

        If you're ready for marriage then you're ready to tell your parents. I realise there is a lot of formality between desi parents and their kids. Good suggestions on here as to how and what you can say. A valuable tip would be to pray salatul istikhara before you tell your parents, ask Allah to give you that courage, articulation and conviction to tell your parents in a manner that you are considered grown up and not 'besharam' or 'batameez'

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        • #19
          Re: How do you tell your parents?

          I love this bit: well in all honesty, I didn't go out much while I was at university and I missed out on all the parties, I didn't have any girlfriends I always did what you told me to do and what was best for my deen, and I never broke your trust. I always maintained a respectable manner, now I'm asking you to trust me. I'm 23/24 and I'm ready, if I wait any longer, I'll probably end up doing something wrong?

          May Allah bless you with every bit of success.

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          • #20
            Re: How do you tell your parents?

            Alhamdulilah,

            My mum brought it up herself! She found me a potential. I ask you guys humbly to make dua that this works out <3

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            • #21
              Originally posted by amiracoolhaque View Post
              Alhamdulilah,

              My mum brought it up herself! She found me a potential. I ask you guys humbly to make dua that this works out <3
              Alhamdulilah! That's awesome. May Allah grant you a loving and pious spouse, ameen
              اللهُمَّ أَعِزَّ الإِسْلامَ وَالمُسْلِمِينَ

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              • #22
                Re: How do you tell your parents?

                Originally posted by amiracoolhaque View Post
                Alhamdulilah,

                My mum brought it up herself! She found me a potential. I ask you guys humbly to make dua that this works out <3
                Subhanallah! You did not have to bring it up ;) Inshallah this is the start to things x

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                • #23
                  Re: How do you tell your parents?

                  Get a card that says "I want to get married" with some reasons and points as to why they should agree. Seal it in an envelope and give it to your parents. The most important part is to run away after you hand it. They will read it, consider, and once you think that they have had enough time to consider you talk to them about it.

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