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  • How do you tell your parents?

    Basically, I have a job (in fact two), will go to university inshallah, but I don't see this as a hindrance or a reason to delay getting married.

    My parents would want me to wait to get married, they'd prefer it if I graduated first. But personally, I don't want to wait that long and I feel really ready and up for it. If we start the search now, it would still take a while to find the one, so I should have an uni place by then inshallah.

    I am wondering how I should tell them? How did you tell your mum? I am quite nervous and shy about it.

    My mum wouldn't mind me getting married now, but they are Asian parents, so they do tend to say different things all the time so their opinion isn't stable. :S

    So how should I tell them?:scratch::scratch::scratch:

  • #2
    Re: How do you tell your parents?

    Well talk to the person whom you are closer to so it makes it easier.

    You just have to bring the topic up like 'Mum/dad...I'm something years old now and I feel like I'm ready to get married..'

    But first, make a list of all the possible reasons they would give you to suggest you're not ready to get married and then prepare a counter argument for each one.

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: How do you tell your parents?

      This is excellent naseeha sister. I will be posting my list so we can have a mock trial?

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: How do you tell your parents?

        :salams:

        I just told my mum and she was thinking I'm such a besharam brat (well, her silence explained it all)

        OH WELL

        4 or 5 ( I think, have actually forgotton now :-/) years down the line NOTHING worked, obviously they are trying very hard to get rid of me but I'm still here

        ROCKING IT. Being single is being free- I'm not even joking. But obviously looking for a spouse gets harder as you get older, my parents are stressing out unfortunately.

        The problem is my parents didn't make a move when they could (I'm not blaming them just stating it) and now everyone thinks I'm the one that doesn't want to get married.

        Just tell her, help out in the kitchen more and break it to her while your chopping the onions so you don't have to look at her like a besharam when your telling her

        'mum, everyone is getting married, the market is tough out there I think you and dad should start looking for the perfect man for me'

        lol
        'Whatever it be wherein ye differ, the decision thereof is with Allah: such is Allah my Lord: In Him I trust, and to Him I turn.' The Holy Qu'ran Al Shura (Consultation)

        So, which of the favours of your lord will you deny? ~ Surah Ar Rahman

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: How do you tell your parents?


          Well, goood luck 1st of all.

          not always but its more easy for gents, i think. dealing with parents (Asian mainly....)

          still, some have to drop hints & sumtimes, even have to say "I like that girl... if u cant find any, i'll propose her...."


          even thou there wasnt any ...

          but for a girl to tell this.... it can be hectically embarrassing...

          but theres a good sugg by DaughterOfAdam to let someone close to u drop the hint bomb....

          will wait for the list u mentioned ..... :up:





          Originally posted by amiracoolhaque View Post
          Basically, I have a job (in fact two), will go to university inshallah, but I don't see this as a hindrance or a reason to delay getting married.

          My parents would want me to wait to get married, they'd prefer it if I graduated first. But personally, I don't want to wait that long and I feel really ready and up for it. If we start the search now, it would still take a while to find the one, so I should have an uni place by then inshallah.

          I am wondering how I should tell them? How did you tell your mum? I am quite nervous and shy about it.

          My mum wouldn't mind me getting married now, but they are Asian parents, so they do tend to say different things all the time so their opinion isn't stable. :S

          So how should I tell them?:scratch::scratch::scratch:
          Every Saint has a Past ...

          Every Sinner has a Future ...

          Comment


          • #6
            How do you tell your parents?

            I was like

            'mummyyyy, you know so and so got married so young, that is good right??? Right????? Can I get married young please.. It is sunnah and it's harder to find potentials when you're growing old..'

            Mum agreed and is now in favour :) woohoo.
            إقراء القران فإنه يأتي يوم القيامة شفيعا لأصحابه

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: How do you tell your parents?

              :salams

              Sit her down and tell her what your plans are. Trust me, if you are that age, even she has thought by getting you married. They know these stuff.

              If you can't directly approach her, tell someone you are more at ease with, maybe aunt or older sibling.

              Originally posted by iRepIslam View Post
              I was like

              'mummyyyy, you know so and so got married so young, that is good right??? Right????? Can I get married young please.. It is sunnah and it's harder to find potentials when you're growing old..'

              Mum agreed and is now in favour :) woohoo.
              Smart. Play the Sunnah Card. ;)
              Secure few moments, everyday, to reflect upon the innumerable blessings of Allah and thank Him for bestowing them upon you.

              "A person who is blessed with the ability to be grateful, shall never be deprived of barakah and increase in blessings."
              - Rasulullah (صلی اللہ علیہ وسلم)‎

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: How do you tell your parents?

                I'm the oldest sibling and have no contact with any other family :'( waaah

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: How do you tell your parents?

                  Okay, then go talk to your mom, straight up.

                  Difficult, but guess what? No one ever said it wouldn't be difficult. And, marriage is a lot more difficult. =?
                  Secure few moments, everyday, to reflect upon the innumerable blessings of Allah and thank Him for bestowing them upon you.

                  "A person who is blessed with the ability to be grateful, shall never be deprived of barakah and increase in blessings."
                  - Rasulullah (صلی اللہ علیہ وسلم)‎

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: How do you tell your parents?

                    Originally posted by amiracoolhaque View Post
                    I'm the oldest sibling and have no contact with any other family :'( waaah
                    JUST DO IT

                    the longer you wait the worse it can get, better to start the search early

                    al the best

                    lol
                    'Whatever it be wherein ye differ, the decision thereof is with Allah: such is Allah my Lord: In Him I trust, and to Him I turn.' The Holy Qu'ran Al Shura (Consultation)

                    So, which of the favours of your lord will you deny? ~ Surah Ar Rahman

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Re: How do you tell your parents?

                      ..
                      Last edited by rainbow*~; 23-09-14, 11:42 PM.
                      :sub: wabihamdihi:sub:hiladheem

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Re: How do you tell your parents?

                        Originally posted by rainbow*~ View Post
                        Lucky!
                        My mum wants me to wait until I'm more mature , why can't I get married to a maturer man so he can make up for my immaturity?!
                        Mature man would want a mature wife. It's not something you can make up for.

                        Instead of worrying about that, ask yourself why aren't you matured yet?
                        Secure few moments, everyday, to reflect upon the innumerable blessings of Allah and thank Him for bestowing them upon you.

                        "A person who is blessed with the ability to be grateful, shall never be deprived of barakah and increase in blessings."
                        - Rasulullah (صلی اللہ علیہ وسلم)‎

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Re: How do you tell your parents?

                          Originally posted by .mirror. View Post
                          Mature man would want a mature wife. It's not something you can make up for.

                          Instead of worrying about that, ask yourself why aren't you matured yet?
                          But I thought the reason men wanted younger women to marry was for their youthfulness :scratch:
                          :sub: wabihamdihi:sub:hiladheem

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Re: How do you tell your parents?

                            Originally posted by rainbow*~ View Post
                            But I thought the reason men wanted younger women to marry was for their youthfulness :scratch:
                            I think you mean appearance wise

                            It depends, some men like the childish/fun/bubbly ones

                            others like the boring mature ones

                            *outta

                            I wouldn't worry sis, a good man will see your cool!
                            'Whatever it be wherein ye differ, the decision thereof is with Allah: such is Allah my Lord: In Him I trust, and to Him I turn.' The Holy Qu'ran Al Shura (Consultation)

                            So, which of the favours of your lord will you deny? ~ Surah Ar Rahman

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Re: How do you tell your parents?

                              Originally posted by rainbow*~ View Post
                              But I thought the reason men wanted younger women to marry was for their youthfulness :scratch:
                              Sister, being mature is to know when to be immature and when to be mature.
                              Secure few moments, everyday, to reflect upon the innumerable blessings of Allah and thank Him for bestowing them upon you.

                              "A person who is blessed with the ability to be grateful, shall never be deprived of barakah and increase in blessings."
                              - Rasulullah (صلی اللہ علیہ وسلم)‎

                              Comment

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