Ads by Muslim Ad Network

Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Sisters, Would You Agree to become the Second, or Third, or Fourth Wife???

Collapse
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • #46
    Re: Sisters, Would You Agree to become the Second, or Third, or Fourth Wife???

    Nah I'm good.

    Comment


    • #47
      Re: Sisters, Would You Agree to become the Second, or Third, or Fourth Wife???

      Man just let me have one

      Comment


      • #48
        Re: Sisters, Would You Agree to become the Second, or Third, or Fourth Wife???

        This is A good question BUT in all honesty a wife's agreement or acknowledgement isn't a prerequisite to entering into polygamy.
        Believe none of what you hear, and only half of what you see.

        Comment


        • #49
          Re: Sisters, Would You Agree to become the Second, or Third, or Fourth Wife???

          Originally posted by first View Post
          Most women wouldn't want to have a sister wife. However, I don't think it's healthy for siblings to not grow up together. There would be divisions among the siblings themselves.

          Another thing to consider, in a scenario the first wife is ok with the second wife, and the second wife talked to the first wife, shouldn't they be friends? Shouldn't they live together and co-parent each other's children? I don't understand why it must be antagonistic.
          I live in same house with my brother in law & his family. I live upstairs where I have my privet bedroom & bathroom, even a hallway big enough to keep sofa & mini-fridge & laundry basket. I have most things a normal apartment has except privet kitchen & entrance/exit. Even after having everything else, it is still very inconvenient for me. Kitchen is a big thing, that's where food is at. Even with a mini-fridge, I often feel like I can't eat property in my husbands house. Sometimes, I get hungry middle of night & I don't want to go in the kitchen because my sis in law is sleeping or other people in the family is sleeping. Even after 4 months of marriage, I still feel like the kitchen is hers. So I don't cook stuff I want or buy food I want to eat.

          also having the share the same exit/entrance is inconvenient. sometimes I come home late or I stay over at my parents house. Often times I am at loss what to say when I am going out (do I inform her, do I just go out about my day?). This uncomforting is with a sis in law, imagine if a co-wife lived together. The fight they would have over food & who's responsibility it is to clean the common area.

          Comment


          • #50
            Re: Sisters, Would You Agree to become the Second, or Third, or Fourth Wife???

            yes


            but only if i was also the first.. maybe if we divorced n got back together


            or he just pretended i was a new wife whenever i made international food



            on a serious note though, I really think that I
            Raindrops.hail.ouch

            Comment


            • #51
              Re: Sisters, Would You Agree to become the Second, or Third, or Fourth Wife???

              --
              Last edited by Umm.Hafsa; 18-09-14, 03:31 PM.

              Comment


              • #52
                Re: Sisters, Would You Agree to become the Second, or Third, or Fourth Wife???

                Originally posted by Muslima London View Post
                i think its because we haVE read of too many horror stores where husbands use polygamy without any consideration at all to the feelings of the 1st wife

                us women are more into the sisterhoood then you think and it would disturb me if i knew i was marrying someone whose wife was in turmoild over being a second wife.
                Any sensible woman who enters into a marriage as a co-wife shoudl ensure that thre is harmony within the 1st marriage. if there isnt, there would be difficulties in the 2nd marriage i feel
                What if the wife in the 1st marriage has forgone most of her rights,and the husband and wife are not seeing eye to eye, but somehow they are not divorcing but still manage to live together in harmony.

                Youtube channel - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCYk...dE4pHzSid7Lr0w

                **** Smiling won't cost you now is it ****

                Zawjati ,“Uhibbuki mithla mâ antę” “Uhibbuki kaifamâ kunteee”“Wa mahmâ kâna mahma sâra”

                Comment


                • #53
                  Re: Sisters, Would You Agree to become the Second, or Third, or Fourth Wife???

                  Originally posted by Muslima London View Post
                  you want more headache ?? :scratch:
                  Men dont see it as a headache.
                  Let me introduce you to the concept of headache in marriage.

                  One wife = full headache
                  four wives = Also full headache.

                  so their is no room for any more headache : )

                  Youtube channel - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCYk...dE4pHzSid7Lr0w

                  **** Smiling won't cost you now is it ****

                  Zawjati ,“Uhibbuki mithla mâ antę” “Uhibbuki kaifamâ kunteee”“Wa mahmâ kâna mahma sâra”

                  Comment


                  • #54
                    Re: Sisters, Would You Agree to become the Second, or Third, or Fourth Wife???

                    Originally posted by muzzybee View Post
                    What if the wife in the 1st marriage has forgone most of her rights,and the husband and wife are not seeing eye to eye, but somehow they are not divorcing but still manage to live together in harmony.

                    i think taht situation oppresses the first wife, no matter how accepting she is of the situation

                    if she see''s her hubby in a loveing relationship with another woman it might awaken emotions that she cannot control - e.g. jealous
                    Ibnul Qayyim رحمه الله said: "Don’t ruin your happiness with worry, and don’t ruin your mind with pessimism. Don’t ruin your success with deception and don’t ruin the optimism of others by destroying it. Don’t ruin your day by looking back at yesterday.
                    __________________________________________________ _____________________________
                    If you think about your situation, you will find that Allaah (سبحانه وتعالى) has given you things without asking, so have trust in Allaah (سبحانه وتعالى) that He doesn’t prevent anything you want except there is goodness for you.

                    You could be sleeping and the doors of the heavens are being opened with dua’as being made on your behalf, SubhanAllaah: perhaps from someone poor whom you helped, or someone sad whom you brought joy, or someone passing by and you smiled at him, or someone in distress and you removed it.. so don’t ever underestimate any good deeds."



                    please donate to the Ummah forum sadaqa jariya project. Click on the link for for more information, and to make a donation- https://www.justgiving.com/sadaqah-jariyah-project/

                    Comment


                    • #55
                      Re: Sisters, Would You Agree to become the Second, or Third, or Fourth Wife???

                      --
                      Last edited by Umm.Hafsa; 18-09-14, 03:31 PM.

                      Comment


                      • #56
                        Re: Sisters, Would You Agree to become the Second, or Third, or Fourth Wife???

                        Originally posted by Muslima London View Post
                        i think taht situation oppresses the first wife, no matter how accepting she is of the situation

                        if she see''s her hubby in a loveing relationship with another woman it might awaken emotions that she cannot control - e.g. jealous
                        Wrong, if it is her choice with issues of her own then it is not oppression and a man has no other choice , either divorce or remarry.

                        Youtube channel - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCYk...dE4pHzSid7Lr0w

                        **** Smiling won't cost you now is it ****

                        Zawjati ,“Uhibbuki mithla mâ antę” “Uhibbuki kaifamâ kunteee”“Wa mahmâ kâna mahma sâra”

                        Comment


                        • #57
                          Re: Sisters, Would You Agree to become the Second, or Third, or Fourth Wife???

                          Muslimah London gave most of the answers I intended to give. This thread is not about asking the men as to how they'd envisage a polygamous marriage, it's asking the sisters about what they have in mind so I'm explaining what I have in mind. Some women do live together in the same house as a co-wife and it works very well for them as they live like friends or sisters, but I don't see myself living like that and would want a place of my own. The closest compromise I would consider is if a house was renovated into two separate flats so I stay in one and the other wife stays in the other or if we were neighbours or something- but other than that, no I wouldn't live in the same house.

                          Like I said before, if I had kids, I'd still want them to have a relationship with their half siblings and they have a right to know the other side of the family, but that doesn't mean I'd want to spend 24/7 in the same house as them. This is hypothetical anyway as I'm in no fit state to look after kids of my own let alone handle someone elses.

                          I would definitely not be okay with just having a master bedroom to myself- even if I were marrying a single person I wouldn't accept that. I already stated what I would accept in my previous post but it seems like you're re-framing the same question and expecting a different response.

                          Originally posted by first View Post
                          If you found a man that was 46, married, lived in a 5 bedroom house, he met all your other criteria for being a second wife, but refused to house you in your own house, you would say no? What if he was only willing to provide you a master bedroom, but not another separate home? His reason might be that he wants all his kids to grow up in the same house.
                          The Lyme Disease pandemic: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z5u73ME4sVU

                          Comment


                          • #58
                            Re: Sisters, Would You Agree to become the Second, or Third, or Fourth Wife???

                            "this one is different"

                            Yeah...nah

                            Comment


                            • #59
                              Re: Sisters, Would You Agree to become the Second, or Third, or Fourth Wife???

                              If a man has more inclination towards one wife over the other, half his body would be paralyzed on judgement day. After knowing that, one should me more wary before considering polygamy.
                              “You don't need anybody to tell you who you are or what you are. You are what you are!”

                              Comment


                              • #60
                                Re: Sisters, Would You Agree to become the Second, or Third, or Fourth Wife???

                                Originally posted by Umm.Hafsa View Post
                                That's actually the sunnah, if the wife fears departure from her husband it's better for them to come to an arrangement and/or forfeit rights rather than separate. Since divorcing is disliked. Like Umm Salamah did with her rights for A'isha radiAllahuanha.


                                if ou wish to NOT divorce, i suppose you can come to some arrangment but the fact is we are humans, we have emotions.
                                if a man marries again and a woman forfeits her right, she is forfeiting her right to emotional love, intimacy, to comfort, to all the thngs that she shoudl get in a healthy relationship and if her husband is getting that elsewhere then boy oh boy would i be peeved off - no matter how much i dont like him
                                Ibnul Qayyim رحمه الله said: "Don’t ruin your happiness with worry, and don’t ruin your mind with pessimism. Don’t ruin your success with deception and don’t ruin the optimism of others by destroying it. Don’t ruin your day by looking back at yesterday.
                                __________________________________________________ _____________________________
                                If you think about your situation, you will find that Allaah (سبحانه وتعالى) has given you things without asking, so have trust in Allaah (سبحانه وتعالى) that He doesn’t prevent anything you want except there is goodness for you.

                                You could be sleeping and the doors of the heavens are being opened with dua’as being made on your behalf, SubhanAllaah: perhaps from someone poor whom you helped, or someone sad whom you brought joy, or someone passing by and you smiled at him, or someone in distress and you removed it.. so don’t ever underestimate any good deeds."



                                please donate to the Ummah forum sadaqa jariya project. Click on the link for for more information, and to make a donation- https://www.justgiving.com/sadaqah-jariyah-project/

                                Comment

                                Working...
                                X