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Sisters, Would You Agree to become the Second, or Third, or Fourth Wife???

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  • #31
    Re: Sisters, Would You Agree to become the Second, or Third, or Fourth Wife???

    If he is a millionaire.

    Say, O My servants who have transgressed against themselves [by sinning], do not despair of the mercy of Allah . Indeed, Allah forgives all sins. Indeed, it is He who is the Forgiving, the Merciful.Ē
    (Surah Az Zumar, (Chapter 39: Verse 53)

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    • #32
      Re: Sisters, Would You Agree to become the Second, or Third, or Fourth Wife???

      Originally posted by neelu View Post
      I know this would be difficult financially, but I'd want to live in separate accommodation; not in the same property as the in laws or the other wife- just for the sake of having my own space and privacy really.
      If you found a man that was 46, married, lived in a 5 bedroom house, he met all your other criteria for being a second wife, but refused to house you in your own house, you would say no? What if he was only willing to provide you a master bedroom, but not another separate home? His reason might be that he wants all his kids to grow up in the same house.

      Originally posted by Jenicca View Post
      - His reasons for polygamy
      What are good reasons for polygamy?

      Comment


      • #33
        Re: Sisters, Would You Agree to become the Second, or Third, or Fourth Wife???

        Originally posted by muzzybee View Post
        I think women dont like polygamy is because they think men just use polygamy to get more and more and more ||||||||||||| intimacy.
        Simple as that.
        Most women cant comprehend that.
        i think its because we haVE read of too many horror stores where husbands use polygamy without any consideration at all to the feelings of the 1st wife

        us women are more into the sisterhoood then you think and it would disturb me if i knew i was marrying someone whose wife was in turmoild over being a second wife.
        Any sensible woman who enters into a marriage as a co-wife shoudl ensure that thre is harmony within the 1st marriage. if there isnt, there would be difficulties in the 2nd marriage i feel
        Ibnul Qayyim رحمه الله said: "Donít ruin your happiness with worry, and donít ruin your mind with pessimism. Donít ruin your success with deception and donít ruin the optimism of others by destroying it. Donít ruin your day by looking back at yesterday.
        __________________________________________________ _____________________________
        If you think about your situation, you will find that Allaah (سبحانه وتعالى) has given you things without asking, so have trust in Allaah (سبحانه وتعالى) that He doesnít prevent anything you want except there is goodness for you.

        You could be sleeping and the doors of the heavens are being opened with duaías being made on your behalf, SubhanAllaah: perhaps from someone poor whom you helped, or someone sad whom you brought joy, or someone passing by and you smiled at him, or someone in distress and you removed it.. so donít ever underestimate any good deeds."



        please donate to the Ummah forum sadaqa jariya project. Click on the link for for more information, and to make a donation- https://www.justgiving.com/sadaqah-jariyah-project/

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        • #34
          Re: Sisters, Would You Agree to become the Second, or Third, or Fourth Wife???

          2nd mayybe depending on our situatioon but 3rd and 4ths? haha am i getting marry to millinaire? i hope so :p but i still wouldn't allow 3rd and 4th

          actualy if i ONLY got marry to my husband for his money then yay he can have all the wife he want, so long as i'm getting my money heehee
          Last edited by sanabsanab; 16-09-14, 06:53 PM.

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          • #35
            Re: Sisters, Would You Agree to become the Second, or Third, or Fourth Wife???

            Originally posted by first View Post
            If you found a man that was 46, married, lived in a 5 bedroom house, he met all your other criteria for being a second wife, but refused to house you in your own house, you would say no? What if he was only willing to provide you a master bedroom, but not another separate home? His reason might be that he wants all his kids to grow up in the same house.



            What are good reasons for polygamy?
            i doubt most women would wanna live with the co-wife

            maybe if you seperted out the accommodation - kitchen / bathroom / etc

            but no way. a sensible woman would say NO to that arrangement
            Ibnul Qayyim رحمه الله said: "Donít ruin your happiness with worry, and donít ruin your mind with pessimism. Donít ruin your success with deception and donít ruin the optimism of others by destroying it. Donít ruin your day by looking back at yesterday.
            __________________________________________________ _____________________________
            If you think about your situation, you will find that Allaah (سبحانه وتعالى) has given you things without asking, so have trust in Allaah (سبحانه وتعالى) that He doesnít prevent anything you want except there is goodness for you.

            You could be sleeping and the doors of the heavens are being opened with duaías being made on your behalf, SubhanAllaah: perhaps from someone poor whom you helped, or someone sad whom you brought joy, or someone passing by and you smiled at him, or someone in distress and you removed it.. so donít ever underestimate any good deeds."



            please donate to the Ummah forum sadaqa jariya project. Click on the link for for more information, and to make a donation- https://www.justgiving.com/sadaqah-jariyah-project/

            Comment


            • #36
              Re: Sisters, Would You Agree to become the Second, or Third, or Fourth Wife???

              Originally posted by muzzybee View Post
              I think women dont like polygamy is because they think men just use polygamy to get more and more and more ||||||||||||| intimacy.
              Simple as that.
              Most women cant comprehend that.
              but... thiss IS why most men are craving 2nd and 3rd wife, no?

              Comment


              • #37
                Re: Sisters, Would You Agree to become the Second, or Third, or Fourth Wife???

                Originally posted by sanabsanab View Post
                but... thiss IS why most men are craving 2nd and 3rd wife, no?
                some men marry a 2nd time because they married parents choice (usually back home ) 1st time around
                they have never really found ;emotional contentement within the marriage so they look for that 2nd time around
                Ibnul Qayyim رحمه الله said: "Donít ruin your happiness with worry, and donít ruin your mind with pessimism. Donít ruin your success with deception and donít ruin the optimism of others by destroying it. Donít ruin your day by looking back at yesterday.
                __________________________________________________ _____________________________
                If you think about your situation, you will find that Allaah (سبحانه وتعالى) has given you things without asking, so have trust in Allaah (سبحانه وتعالى) that He doesnít prevent anything you want except there is goodness for you.

                You could be sleeping and the doors of the heavens are being opened with duaías being made on your behalf, SubhanAllaah: perhaps from someone poor whom you helped, or someone sad whom you brought joy, or someone passing by and you smiled at him, or someone in distress and you removed it.. so donít ever underestimate any good deeds."



                please donate to the Ummah forum sadaqa jariya project. Click on the link for for more information, and to make a donation- https://www.justgiving.com/sadaqah-jariyah-project/

                Comment


                • #38
                  Re: Sisters, Would You Agree to become the Second, or Third, or Fourth Wife???

                  Originally posted by Muslima London View Post
                  i doubt most women would wanna live with the co-wife
                  Most women wouldn't want to have a sister wife. However, I don't think it's healthy for siblings to not grow up together. There would be divisions among the siblings themselves.

                  Another thing to consider, in a scenario the first wife is ok with the second wife, and the second wife talked to the first wife, shouldn't they be friends? Shouldn't they live together and co-parent each other's children? I don't understand why it must be antagonistic.

                  Originally posted by sanabsanab View Post
                  but... thiss IS why most men are craving 2nd and 3rd wife, no?
                  What if the husband is a scholar, and wants to have a lot of children, so he can raise proper scholars of islam? Maybe he just wants to help women get closer to Allah, and increase the amount of pious children?

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                  • #39
                    Re: Sisters, Would You Agree to become the Second, or Third, or Fourth Wife???

                    :wswrwb:

                    i dont plan on getting married again, i mean one wife is enough headache lol

                    seriously though before i got married i never thought of polygamy,
                    but since i've been married i now understand why a man may want to go down the polygamy route...

                    Comment


                    • #40
                      Re: Sisters, Would You Agree to become the Second, or Third, or Fourth Wife???

                      Originally posted by first View Post
                      Most women wouldn't want to have a sister wife. However, I don't think it's healthy for siblings to not grow up together. There would be divisions among the siblings themselves.

                      Another thing to consider, in a scenario the first wife is ok with the second wife, and the second wife talked to the first wife, shouldn't they be friends? Shouldn't they live together and co-parent each other's children? I don't understand why it must be antagonistic.



                      What if the husband is a scholar, and wants to have a lot of children, so he can raise proper scholars of islam? Maybe he just wants to help women get closer to Allah, and increase the amount of pious children?
                      you cant force friendship

                      if its there, alhamdulillah

                      if its not, leave it be

                      as for the kids. well they are children from diff mothers.
                      dont forget that

                      they s hould mix but not necesssarily live together
                      Ibnul Qayyim رحمه الله said: "Donít ruin your happiness with worry, and donít ruin your mind with pessimism. Donít ruin your success with deception and donít ruin the optimism of others by destroying it. Donít ruin your day by looking back at yesterday.
                      __________________________________________________ _____________________________
                      If you think about your situation, you will find that Allaah (سبحانه وتعالى) has given you things without asking, so have trust in Allaah (سبحانه وتعالى) that He doesnít prevent anything you want except there is goodness for you.

                      You could be sleeping and the doors of the heavens are being opened with duaías being made on your behalf, SubhanAllaah: perhaps from someone poor whom you helped, or someone sad whom you brought joy, or someone passing by and you smiled at him, or someone in distress and you removed it.. so donít ever underestimate any good deeds."



                      please donate to the Ummah forum sadaqa jariya project. Click on the link for for more information, and to make a donation- https://www.justgiving.com/sadaqah-jariyah-project/

                      Comment


                      • #41
                        Re: Sisters, Would You Agree to become the Second, or Third, or Fourth Wife???

                        Originally posted by Simply_Logical View Post
                        :wswrwb:

                        i dont plan on getting married again, i mean one wife is enough headache lol

                        seriously though before i got married i never thought of polygamy,
                        but since i've been married i now understand why a man may want to go down the polygamy route...
                        you want more headache ?? :scratch:
                        Ibnul Qayyim رحمه الله said: "Donít ruin your happiness with worry, and donít ruin your mind with pessimism. Donít ruin your success with deception and donít ruin the optimism of others by destroying it. Donít ruin your day by looking back at yesterday.
                        __________________________________________________ _____________________________
                        If you think about your situation, you will find that Allaah (سبحانه وتعالى) has given you things without asking, so have trust in Allaah (سبحانه وتعالى) that He doesnít prevent anything you want except there is goodness for you.

                        You could be sleeping and the doors of the heavens are being opened with duaías being made on your behalf, SubhanAllaah: perhaps from someone poor whom you helped, or someone sad whom you brought joy, or someone passing by and you smiled at him, or someone in distress and you removed it.. so donít ever underestimate any good deeds."



                        please donate to the Ummah forum sadaqa jariya project. Click on the link for for more information, and to make a donation- https://www.justgiving.com/sadaqah-jariyah-project/

                        Comment


                        • #42
                          Re: Sisters, Would You Agree to become the Second, or Third, or Fourth Wife???

                          :salams

                          OP, if you can consider it and he's popping the question, then why don't you ask to meet his wife and see if she's OK with it?
                          Secure few moments, everyday, to reflect upon the innumerable blessings of Allah and thank Him for bestowing them upon you.

                          "A person who is blessed with the ability to be grateful, shall never be deprived of barakah and increase in blessings."
                          - Rasulullah (صلی اللہ علیہ وسلم)‎

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                          • #43
                            Re: Sisters, Would You Agree to become the Second, or Third, or Fourth Wife???

                            Originally posted by Muslima London View Post
                            you want more headache ?? :scratch:
                            no thanks lol,
                            nah obviously it depends on the taqwa of the individual,
                            but im just saying having one wife is hard enough, imagine have two or more...

                            like i said when i was single i never thought about polygamy but now that ive been married for quiet some time,
                            i can understand why some men feel the need to marry more than one woman

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                            • #44
                              Re: Sisters, Would You Agree to become the Second, or Third, or Fourth Wife???

                              Originally posted by zi-zizou View Post
                              If done correctly surely everyone gets gold??
                              So no 2nd 3rd or 4th place? That's good then.

                              1st place for all.

                              لا تفكر كثيرا
                              بل استغفر كثيرا

                              -------------------------------------------------------
                              The children need your prayers more than anyone else
                              -------------------------------------------------------
                              www.inheritorsofquran.wordpress.com

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                              • #45
                                Re: Sisters, Would You Agree to become the Second, or Third, or Fourth Wife???

                                i think there will always be competition between 2 women , not to mention if there are 4 vying for the same trophy.



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