Ads by Muslim Ad Network

Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Sisters, Would You Agree to become the Second, or Third, or Fourth Wife???

Collapse
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • Re: Sisters, Would You Agree to become the Second, or Third, or Fourth Wife???

    Originally posted by seagulls1999 View Post
    Wife Number 1 : Oh shucks! There is no more bread left for me to give you, for the eggs I've cooked you at 6am, because you work so hard!

    Husband: No problem just go to wife number 2/3/4 ask her to give you some bread or alternatively if they don't have any, make them your shopping buddies and go and buy some.

    Wife Number 1 : Gee Golly ! I'm so happy you married multiple wives !

    Husband : And after you have done your chores, you can use the pocket money I gave you to buy and have some fun with wife 2/3/4.

    Wife Number 1 is so happy that she promises never to nag the husband again.

    wife 1= Sisters, I saw our darling husband is having lunch with the new girl at the office. It was a very secluded place and there were just the 2 of them!
    wife2, 3, 4= REALLY?
    wife 1= Yaaaaaaaaaaaa, he even spoonfed a piece of cheesecake at her..here I have pictures and videos on my phone..oh look, he's back...lets talk to him shall we?
    wife 2, 3, 4 = oh yeah..we will 'talk' with our hand......

    other scenario
    first wife sulking with husband, so husband goes to second but second one is sulking too and then he thought to himself....maybe should get a third wife.

    lolololololololololol I got some more scenarios but my tab is lagging
    Oh Beloved...take away what I want.
    Take away what I do.
    Take away what I need.
    Take away everything
    that takes me from you...-Rumi

    Comment


    • Re: Sisters, Would You Agree to become the Second, or Third, or Fourth Wife???

      Originally posted by Zulia View Post
      wife 1= Sisters, I saw our darling husband is having lunch with the new girl at the office. It was a very secluded place and there were just the 2 of them!
      wife2, 3, 4= REALLY?
      wife 1= Yaaaaaaaaaaaa, he even spoonfed a piece of cheesecake at her..here I have pictures and videos on my phone..oh look, he's back...lets talk to him shall we?
      wife 2, 3, 4 = oh yeah..we will 'talk' with our hand......

      other scenario
      first wife sulking with husband, so husband goes to second but second one is sulking too and then he thought to himself....maybe should get a third wife.

      lolololololololololol I got some more scenarios but my tab is lagging
      Who needs Tolkien and Rowling when the world has you and I

      Comment


      • Re: Sisters, Would You Agree to become the Second, or Third, or Fourth Wife???

        Originally posted by Zulia View Post
        Hmm...gets me wonder, what if the husband married the first's wife best friend??? That would be okay I think
        Maybe the husband can marry both friends at the same time?

        Originally posted by Umm_Tamiyyah View Post
        Maybe if the first wife was a good friend of mine... otherwise there could be frictions.
        Maybe the first wife can suggest her husband to you? If the husband is great, then your friend can suggest him to you, out of her love for you?

        Comment


        • Re: Sisters, Would You Agree to become the Second, or Third, or Fourth Wife???

          Originally posted by seagulls1999 View Post
          Who needs Tolkien and Rowling when the world has you and I
          aye matey..tis true
          Oh Beloved...take away what I want.
          Take away what I do.
          Take away what I need.
          Take away everything
          that takes me from you...-Rumi

          Comment


          • Re: Sisters, Would You Agree to become the Second, or Third, or Fourth Wife???

            lol...only...if only...
            Oh Beloved...take away what I want.
            Take away what I do.
            Take away what I need.
            Take away everything
            that takes me from you...-Rumi

            Comment


            • Re: Sisters, Would You Agree to become the Second, or Third, or Fourth Wife???

              how bout 15 wives?
              http://www.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mswati_III
              Whoaaaaaaaaa that is sooooooooooo not right
              Oh Beloved...take away what I want.
              Take away what I do.
              Take away what I need.
              Take away everything
              that takes me from you...-Rumi

              Comment


              • Re: Sisters, Would You Agree to become the Second, or Third, or Fourth Wife???

                Originally posted by one_justice View Post
                Almost all Muslim women would be content with 1/9th of the Prophet as a husband.

                Of course everything is half. Could you share anything equally, yet separately, in life without halving it? The husband is not infinite. He is just a man, able to provide financially and emotionally to an extent. If he uses some of this on one wife, it will not be available for the other. If the same man had but one wife, it would be.

                There is no shortage of men compared to women in most places. Why are these women losing hope? (though then obviously finding it in another woman's husband)

                I have yet to see a modern, western man doing polygamy right, but the day is young.

                I think that polygamy has its place, particularly during times of war. However it is largely incompatible with how we live today in this society. It is still rife of course, particularly in revert communities, where women are fed a fantasy and told that if they want anything else from life they are being 'me, me, me' selfish women astaghfrullah. Luckily, I have been hearing this my whole life, while seeing the ills of these polygamous marriages right before my eyes. I'm not buying the fantasy or idealism when I know the reality.

                Islam didn't bring about polygamy. If anything, it sought to limit and in many cases stop polygamy, by placing restrictions on the number of wives, as well as the situations in which it is lawful for a man to be polygamous. Trying to sell polygamy as Islamic ingenuity is typical of many men though, because the thought of having two, three or four different women each week appeals a great deal to them. Being monogamous is just as much a sunnah as being polygamous. I personally prefer the former.
                1. Sister, if one woman's rights are being fulfilled then why does it matter if the husband is devoting his time to his other wives. If you think it's not equal for a husband to spend 1 night at each of his wife, then please tell me why did Allah even allow polygamy? Is Allah unjust and telling men to do something unequal? Obviously not. There is nothing wrong with a men with more than wife to divide his time, money, etc. equally, between his wife. One man is capable of fulfilling the rights of each of his wives 100%, so 50/50 does not come into play.

                If your husband makes 100,000 per year. And, he can fulfill you and your children's needs by 40,000, then he can spend the other 60,000 as he wishes, which includes his other wives/kids. Each wife should worry about their own rights, and not look at where the rest of his money is going.

                2. As for the shortage of men, I think you are just guessing that stat. There are more women than men, and this is esp. the case where hundred and thousands of Muslim women are suffering in war torn countries without a support. Men make up most of the population of soldiers who die, they are greater in number in prisons, so you can subtract those men as well. In the end, there are more women, actually, I'd say.

                3. I am not saying you have to practice polygamy. So, don't get me wrong. I am only trying to show you some problems in society which clearly can be solved by polygamy, and you should see that, as well, even if you don't want to practice it yourself.

                4. This is not a discussion about if polygamy is Sunnah and neither am I "selling" polygamy, So, no point bringing that up. Also, I am not speaking about those men who misuse their right to polygamy. We are talking about polygamy, which is done right, and it can solve many problems of society in modern times (i.e. this isn't something limited to 7th century - Islam is for all times).
                Secure few moments, everyday, to reflect upon the innumerable blessings of Allah and thank Him for bestowing them upon you.

                "A person who is blessed with the ability to be grateful, shall never be deprived of barakah and increase in blessings."
                - Rasulullah (صلی اللہ علیہ وسلم)‎

                Comment


                • Re: Sisters, Would You Agree to become the Second, or Third, or Fourth Wife???

                  Originally posted by .mirror. View Post
                  1. Sister, if one woman's rights are being fulfilled then why does it matter if the husband is devoting his time to his other wives. If you think it's not equal for a husband to spend 1 night at each of his wife, then please tell me why did Allah even allow polygamy? Is Allah unjust and telling men to do something unequal? Obviously not. There is nothing wrong with a men with more than wife to divide his time, money, etc. equally, between his wife. One man is capable of fulfilling the rights of each of his wives 100%, so 50/50 does not come into play.

                  If your husband makes 100,000 per year. And, he can fulfill you and your children's needs by 40,000, then he can spend the other 60,000 as he wishes, which includes his other wives/kids. Each wife should worry about their own rights, and not look at where the rest of his money is going.

                  2. As for the shortage of men, I think you are just guessing that stat. There are more women than men, and this is esp. the case where hundred and thousands of Muslim women are suffering in war torn countries without a support. Men make up most of the population of soldiers who die, they are greater in number in prisons, so you can subtract those men as well. In the end, there are more women, actually, I'd say.

                  3. I am not saying you have to practice polygamy. So, don't get me wrong. I am only trying to show you some problems in society which clearly can be solved by polygamy, and you should see that, as well, even if you don't want to practice it yourself.

                  4. This is not a discussion about if polygamy is Sunnah and neither am I "selling" polygamy, So, no point bringing that up. Also, I am not speaking about those men who misuse their right to polygamy. We are talking about polygamy, which is done right, and it can solve many problems of society in modern times (i.e. this isn't something limited to 7th century - Islam is for all times).
                  This man is a lot of things, but this is a good read.
                  : )

                  Youtube channel - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCYk...dE4pHzSid7Lr0w

                  **** Smiling won't cost you now is it ****

                  Zawjati ,“Uhibbuki mithla mâ antę” “Uhibbuki kaifamâ kunteee”“Wa mahmâ kâna mahma sâra”

                  Comment


                  • Re: Sisters, Would You Agree to become the Second, or Third, or Fourth Wife???

                    Originally posted by .mirror. View Post
                    1. Sister, if one woman's rights are being fulfilled then why does it matter if the husband is devoting his time to his other wives. If you think it's not equal for a husband to spend 1 night at each of his wife, then please tell me why did Allah even allow polygamy? Is Allah unjust and telling men to do something unequal? Obviously not. There is nothing wrong with a men with more than wife to divide his time, money, etc. equally, between his wife. One man is capable of fulfilling the rights of each of his wives 100%, so 50/50 does not come into play.

                    If your husband makes 100,000 per year. And, he can fulfill you and your children's needs by 40,000, then he can spend the other 60,000 as he wishes, which includes his other wives/kids. Each wife should worry about their own rights, and not look at where the rest of his money is going.

                    2. As for the shortage of men, I think you are just guessing that stat. There are more women than men, and this is esp. the case where hundred and thousands of Muslim women are suffering in war torn countries without a support. Men make up most of the population of soldiers who die, they are greater in number in prisons, so you can subtract those men as well. In the end, there are more women, actually, I'd say.

                    3. I am not saying you have to practice polygamy. So, don't get me wrong. I am only trying to show you some problems in society which clearly can be solved by polygamy, and you should see that, as well, even if you don't want to practice it yourself.

                    4. This is not a discussion about if polygamy is Sunnah and neither am I "selling" polygamy, So, no point bringing that up. Also, I am not speaking about those men who misuse their right to polygamy. We are talking about polygamy, which is done right, and it can solve many problems of society in modern times (i.e. this isn't something limited to 7th century - Islam is for all times).
                    Why do you keep saying it is unequal? I thought we established that it was equal. This is not the point. The point is that if there are two women, using basic division, everything the husband is capable of giving will be halved. Halves are equal. I have also acknowledged numerous times that polygamy is a good solution in the situation of war. Why do we keep going back to these points as if this is the debate?

                    As long as a Muslim fasts Ramadan, he/she is abiding by what Allah tells him/her to do. Does this mean that further fasting is null and void? Similarly, a husband fulfils his Islamic duty by giving his wife her rights. He needn't do anything more. Allah put these rights in place to ensure that a woman would not suffer oppression. However, since marriage is not a business agreement but a nurturing relationship between two people, it is not beyond the confines of logical thought that a woman may look for more. If a woman chooses monogamy because she wants to give more and wants him to give more, there is nothing wrong with this.

                    No, I am not guessing the stat. I believe it is you who is guessing the stat. Just Google male:female ratios worldwide. I will post the stat as soon as I can, as I am currently using a tablet and unable to make attachments.

                    Again, I agree that polygamy can be a solution in some societies. Again, I point out that it is not very suited for our society today. You talk about a man earning 100,000 (I don't know if you mean pounds or dollars, I'm British) as if this is easy money. I know few men earning this. I know no polygamous men earning this. I am talking about the practicalities of polygamy in the West, as this is relevant to me and many of the sisters in this thread. I understand the idealism of it, that it has its place and why it was not banned by Allah in all his wisdom. I also understand why there are many restrictions placed on it and that it can do more evil than good in many cases.
                    Last edited by one_justice; 20-09-14, 07:39 AM.

                    Comment


                    • Re: Sisters, Would You Agree to become the Second, or Third, or Fourth Wife???

                      Originally posted by one_justice View Post
                      Why do you keep saying it is unequal? I thought we established that it was equal. This is not the point. The point is that if there are two women, using basic division, everything the husband is capable of giving will be halved. Halves are equal. I have also acknowledged numerous times that polygamy is a good solution in the situation of war. Why do we keep going back to these points as if this is the debate?

                      As long as a Muslim fasts Ramadan, he/she is abiding by what Allah tells him/her to do. Does this mean that further fasting is null and void? Similarly, a husband fulfils his Islamic duty by giving his wife her rights. He needn't do anything more. Allah put these rights in place to ensure that a woman would not suffer oppression. However, since marriage is not a business agreement but a nurturing relationship between two people, it is not beyond the confines of logical thought that a woman may look for more. If a woman chooses monogamy because she wants to give more and wants him to give more, there is nothing wrong with this.

                      No, I am not guessing the stat. I believe it is you who is guessing the stat. Just Google male:female ratios worldwide. I will post the stat as soon as I can, as I am currently using a tablet and unable to make attachments.

                      Again, I agree that polygamy can be a solution in some societies. Again, I point out that it is not very suited for our society today. You talk about a man earning 100,000 (I don't know if you mean pounds or dollars, I'm British) as if this is easy money. I know few men earning this. I know no polygamous men earning this. I am talking about the practicalities of polygamy in the West, as this is relevant to me and many of the sisters in this thread. I understand the idealism of it, that it has its place and why it was not banned by Allah in all his wisdom. I also understand why there are many restrictions placed on it and that it can do more evil than good in many cases.
                      http://www.theguardian.com/commentis...riage-struggle

                      Youtube channel - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCYk...dE4pHzSid7Lr0w

                      **** Smiling won't cost you now is it ****

                      Zawjati ,“Uhibbuki mithla mâ antę” “Uhibbuki kaifamâ kunteee”“Wa mahmâ kâna mahma sâra”

                      Comment


                      • Re: Sisters, Would You Agree to become the Second, or Third, or Fourth Wife???

                        I don't understand. How would polygamy fix this? It already stated that Muslim women are outperforming Muslim men professionally and intellectually. Surely the best solution would be for Muslim men to look to better themselves, as supposed to taking more wives?

                        Comment


                        • Re: Sisters, Would You Agree to become the Second, or Third, or Fourth Wife???

                          Originally posted by one_justice View Post
                          I don't understand. How would polygamy fix this? It already stated that Muslim women are outperforming Muslim men professionally and intellectually. Surely the best solution would be for Muslim men to look to better themselves, as supposed to taking more wives?
                          http://www.theasians.co.uk/story/201...en_2ndmarriage

                          Youtube channel - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCYk...dE4pHzSid7Lr0w

                          **** Smiling won't cost you now is it ****

                          Zawjati ,“Uhibbuki mithla mâ antę” “Uhibbuki kaifamâ kunteee”“Wa mahmâ kâna mahma sâra”

                          Comment


                          • Re: Sisters, Would You Agree to become the Second, or Third, or Fourth Wife???

                            Well sure. If asian.co.uk says so, it must be true. It might as well be the Lancet.

                            Comment


                            • Re: Sisters, Would You Agree to become the Second, or Third, or Fourth Wife???

                              Originally posted by one_justice View Post
                              Well sure. If asian.co.uk says so, it must be true. It might as well be the Lancet.
                              My point is , polygamy is relevant for all times .
                              just because society deems it is bad or present time syndrome thinking does not change anything.

                              There are people who are willing to be part of it, for whatever condition it may be.
                              Finance, lack of suitable partners , family, illness, ,loneliness ,location etc......

                              Youtube channel - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCYk...dE4pHzSid7Lr0w

                              **** Smiling won't cost you now is it ****

                              Zawjati ,“Uhibbuki mithla mâ antę” “Uhibbuki kaifamâ kunteee”“Wa mahmâ kâna mahma sâra”

                              Comment


                              • Re: Sisters, Would You Agree to become the Second, or Third, or Fourth Wife???

                                Originally posted by muzzybee View Post
                                My point is , polygamy is relevant for all times .
                                just because society deems it is bad or present time syndrome thinking does not change anything.

                                There are people who are willing to be part of it, for whatever condition it may be.
                                Finance, lack of suitable partners , family, illness, ,loneliness ,location etc......
                                I said it was not very suited for our society. I did not say it was not suited at all. I think that very few men could sustain two households singlehanded- most struggle with one family without any input from their wife over the years. Your argument is that because it is done, it is right? I know plenty of polygamous marriages (the vast majority) which are a bag of jealousy, scheming, rivalry and financial turmoil. So yes, as a woman I would rather face loneliness and financial difficulties alone, as supposed to extend this to an entire family, one that was probably doing perfectly well before I came along.
                                Last edited by one_justice; 20-09-14, 08:29 AM.

                                Comment

                                Working...
                                X