Ads by Muslim Ad Network

Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Sisters, Would You Agree to become the Second, or Third, or Fourth Wife???

Collapse
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • Sisters, Would You Agree to become the Second, or Third, or Fourth Wife???

    :salams

    I know ..again...with the polygamy thread but this one is different, is anyone here that is the second and so on wife? I wanna hear your views.
    I am in my thirties now and I do feel the need to have a family but when it comes to men who are already married, I am quite hesitant. I am not against polygamy and heck if my husband can meet the full criteria and be justful I will let him marry three more!!!!

    Eventhough the man is a bit older, still healthy and able financially, a truly wonderful person and the best muezzin that I have ever heard, but I cant do it. I just cant..I know his family, his children.....everytime he pops that question or if I remember him, his wife and kids face pops in my head clearly. I dont have the heart to do it.

    My mum had the worse, she was the first wife and my dad is quite violent to her. She have endured so much for him but then when he married his second wife, he just left us alone without anything. I remembered it was a hard time for us as he didnt give us any money and had only a year left to stay in the house.

    Someone that I used to know, her husband didnt work and had a second wife. but luckily, the the first wife have a good job....but..in the end, she supported the husband and the wife!!!

    Also there is a businessman who has 4 wives that lives in the same house with him, Alhamdulillah, everything seems to be good with everyone.

    One friend of mine, is the third daughter of a third wife. Her father is 90 years old now. He got 4 wives and a lot of children and grandchildren and he told everyone that he has given up trying to recognize which one or how old are his children and grandchildren........................LOL

    it is a hard choice! but in the end I wont do it. Unless the man's wife is the one who asks my hand in marriage with open heart.....
    meeeh..I doubt it so.

    I would ask her this first................ARE YOU CRAZY??????.......
    Oh Beloved...take away what I want.
    Take away what I do.
    Take away what I need.
    Take away everything
    that takes me from you...-Rumi

  • #2
    Re: Sisters, Would You Agree to become the Second, or Third, or Fourth Wife???

    Not in a million years, not even if he is the last man on earth.
    My heart will go on

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: Sisters, Would You Agree to become the Second, or Third, or Fourth Wife???

      Personally, I wouldn't.

      It's a culture that is far too alien for me. I couldn't adapt.

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: Sisters, Would You Agree to become the Second, or Third, or Fourth Wife???

        if he was a good righteous person and if she agreed wholeheartedley
        Ibnul Qayyim رحمه الله said: "Don’t ruin your happiness with worry, and don’t ruin your mind with pessimism. Don’t ruin your success with deception and don’t ruin the optimism of others by destroying it. Don’t ruin your day by looking back at yesterday.
        __________________________________________________ _____________________________
        If you think about your situation, you will find that Allaah (سبحانه وتعالى) has given you things without asking, so have trust in Allaah (سبحانه وتعالى) that He doesn’t prevent anything you want except there is goodness for you.

        You could be sleeping and the doors of the heavens are being opened with dua’as being made on your behalf, SubhanAllaah: perhaps from someone poor whom you helped, or someone sad whom you brought joy, or someone passing by and you smiled at him, or someone in distress and you removed it.. so don’t ever underestimate any good deeds."



        please donate to the Ummah forum sadaqa jariya project. Click on the link for for more information, and to make a donation- https://www.justgiving.com/sadaqah-jariyah-project/

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: Sisters, Would You Agree to become the Second, or Third, or Fourth Wife???

          There are good and bad stories as your post indicates. Sometimes people say one thing and do another so it's best not to base one's decisions on the personal opinions of others.

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: Sisters, Would You Agree to become the Second, or Third, or Fourth Wife???

            Asians are not open to the idea of polygamy somehow,Arabs are.
            It is a good practise if done right

            Youtube channel - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCYk...dE4pHzSid7Lr0w

            **** Smiling won't cost you now is it ****

            Zawjati ,“Uhibbuki mithla mâ antê” “Uhibbuki kaifamâ kunteee”“Wa mahmâ kâna mahma sâra”

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: Sisters, Would You Agree to become the Second, or Third, or Fourth Wife???

              Originally posted by muzzybee View Post
              Asians are not open to the idea of polygamy somehow,Arabs are.
              It is a good practise if done right
              It's normal in some African countries too.

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: Sisters, Would You Agree to become the Second, or Third, or Fourth Wife???

                Originally posted by muzzybee View Post
                Asians are not open to the idea of polygamy somehow,Arabs are.
                It is a good practise if done right
                true

                asian see men who practice polygamy as dirty old men who chase asfter young women

                thats the stereotype in our culture
                Ibnul Qayyim رحمه الله said: "Don’t ruin your happiness with worry, and don’t ruin your mind with pessimism. Don’t ruin your success with deception and don’t ruin the optimism of others by destroying it. Don’t ruin your day by looking back at yesterday.
                __________________________________________________ _____________________________
                If you think about your situation, you will find that Allaah (سبحانه وتعالى) has given you things without asking, so have trust in Allaah (سبحانه وتعالى) that He doesn’t prevent anything you want except there is goodness for you.

                You could be sleeping and the doors of the heavens are being opened with dua’as being made on your behalf, SubhanAllaah: perhaps from someone poor whom you helped, or someone sad whom you brought joy, or someone passing by and you smiled at him, or someone in distress and you removed it.. so don’t ever underestimate any good deeds."



                please donate to the Ummah forum sadaqa jariya project. Click on the link for for more information, and to make a donation- https://www.justgiving.com/sadaqah-jariyah-project/

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: Sisters, Would You Agree to become the Second, or Third, or Fourth Wife???

                  Never ever .

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: Sisters, Would You Agree to become the Second, or Third, or Fourth Wife???

                    Noo

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Re: Sisters, Would You Agree to become the Second, or Third, or Fourth Wife???

                      :wswrwb:

                      I would consider it.....whether I would do it is a different story, but would definitely give it serious thought.

                      But it depends on the husband,

                      I don't think my family would allow me to go through with it
                      وَالْعَصْرِ

                      إِنَّ الْإِنسَانَ لَفِي خُسْرٍ

                      إِلَّا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا وَعَمِلُوا الصَّالِحَاتِ وَتَوَاصَوْا بِالْحَقِّ وَتَوَاصَوْا بِالصَّبْرِ

                      "If Allah (swt) only sent this Surah to us, for the guidance of Mankind, this will be enough for us” - Imam Shaafi'ee r.a.

                      "Yeh dunya daar e faani hain, Tum apna dil mat lagaon, Ganimat samaj zinadagee ki bahar, aana na hoga, yahaa baar baar......"

                      Khanqah Habibiyah

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Re: Sisters, Would You Agree to become the Second, or Third, or Fourth Wife???

                        If I was a female, I would, sharing is caring

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Re: Sisters, Would You Agree to become the Second, or Third, or Fourth Wife???

                          Originally posted by zainah View Post
                          Not in a million years, not even if he is the last man on earth.
                          Extremist
                          Believe none of what you hear, and only half of what you see.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Re: Sisters, Would You Agree to become the Second, or Third, or Fourth Wife???

                            We live in times where polygamy is looked at as something strange but if done correctly it becomes a blessing for the wife herself.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Re: Sisters, Would You Agree to become the Second, or Third, or Fourth Wife???

                              Its okay if you don't think you could be in a polygamous married....

                              .....but remember its a Sunnah of our Beloved :saw:

                              There is khair, and hikmah in every step taken and every word spoken by Him :saw:
                              وَالْعَصْرِ

                              إِنَّ الْإِنسَانَ لَفِي خُسْرٍ

                              إِلَّا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا وَعَمِلُوا الصَّالِحَاتِ وَتَوَاصَوْا بِالْحَقِّ وَتَوَاصَوْا بِالصَّبْرِ

                              "If Allah (swt) only sent this Surah to us, for the guidance of Mankind, this will be enough for us” - Imam Shaafi'ee r.a.

                              "Yeh dunya daar e faani hain, Tum apna dil mat lagaon, Ganimat samaj zinadagee ki bahar, aana na hoga, yahaa baar baar......"

                              Khanqah Habibiyah

                              Comment

                              Working...
                              X