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Pre-marital interview: common questions and how to answer them?

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  • budi.sudaryo
    replied
    Re: Pre-marital interview: common questions and how to answer them?

    I see what you mean. That's a good way if you're afraid of the fitnah that could happen in a direct conversation.

    Leave a comment:


  • nonameakhi
    replied
    Re: Pre-marital interview: common questions and how to answer them?

    Originally posted by budi.sudaryo View Post
    Nothing wrong with coming up with our own questions IMO. There's always the wali if it gets out of line.
    ok this may come across wrong in writing so please don't take it thus

    this whole interview thing is something which seems to have ''appeared'' as ''normal'' yet it really isn't necessary as a general principle.

    I see some modern sites telling us the DO's and DONT's of potential interviewing and truthfully its just a take on job interviews and other western models and not Islam as such

    The need for a man and woman to speak is not necessary and not warranted in the main, they speak to their wali's and wali's need to ask certain things as part of the ''norm'' eg praying
    Other aspects of the personality are gained by basically asking people and for want of a better word ''spying'' on the potential. Here I don't mean james bond and phone tapping but speaking to people seeing them at mosque etc

    Leave a comment:


  • budi.sudaryo
    replied
    Re: Pre-marital interview: common questions and how to answer them?

    Originally posted by nonameakhi View Post
    Ok so we established it isn't 1 2 1. as there are hadith to say its not allowed to be alone

    the issue of detailed matters is down to the wali too
    Nothing wrong with coming up with our own questions IMO. There's always the wali if it gets out of line.

    Leave a comment:


  • nonameakhi
    replied
    Re: Pre-marital interview: common questions and how to answer them?

    Originally posted by budi.sudaryo View Post
    No no we're not talking about 1 on 1 interview here. The initial screening is done by the wali so both candidates have the potential to get along. The. The interview is for the detailed matters, and it's done with the wali present.
    Ok so we established it isn't 1 2 1. as there are hadith to say its not allowed to be alone

    the issue of detailed matters is down to the wali too

    Leave a comment:


  • budi.sudaryo
    replied
    Re: Pre-marital interview: common questions and how to answer them?

    Originally posted by nonameakhi View Post
    I wasn't making a judgement so lets stay calm

    The conditions for potentials are layed out so for example a wali has a defined role and that role would be to ensure that a proposed potential fits a set criteria, why then would we need a 1 on 1 interview?

    Also where in shariah would you say interviews are allowed?
    No no we're not talking about 1 on 1 interview here. The initial screening is done by the wali so both candidates have the potential to get along. The. The interview is for the detailed matters, and it's done with the wali present.

    Leave a comment:


  • The Awakening
    replied
    Originally posted by nonameakhi View Post
    issue is, and reason for asking the question, how have we reached the interview as being the method or the conclusion?
    Hmm I don't know. I never even knew there was an interview process until I joined UF lol. I thought the meeting was just a meeting to see the other person's face

    Leave a comment:


  • xFedal
    replied
    Re: Pre-marital interview: common questions and how to answer them?

    Originally posted by nonameakhi View Post
    only thing you truly need is food and water anything else is excuses
    For survival I get what your saying.

    Leave a comment:


  • nonameakhi
    replied
    Re: Pre-marital interview: common questions and how to answer them?

    Originally posted by xFedal View Post
    Music is truly addictive if it makes you happy and makes you listen to the same singer and song again and again. That's the issue I have, I listen to just 1 singers music and the rest nasheeds, and Quran.
    only thing you truly need is food and water anything else is excuses

    Leave a comment:


  • nonameakhi
    replied
    Re: Pre-marital interview: common questions and how to answer them?

    Originally posted by The Awakening View Post
    But how else would people be able to ask each other questions and gauge the other person's character/personality?
    issue is, and reason for asking the question, how have we reached the interview as being the method or the conclusion?

    Leave a comment:


  • xFedal
    replied
    Re: Pre-marital interview: common questions and how to answer them?

    Originally posted by nonameakhi View Post
    yes it is and no it isn't
    Music is truly addictive if it makes you happy and makes you listen to the same singer and song again and again. That's the issue I have, I listen to just 1 singers music and the rest nasheeds, and Quran.

    Leave a comment:


  • nonameakhi
    replied
    Re: Pre-marital interview: common questions and how to answer them?

    Originally posted by budi.sudaryo View Post
    What do you mean "who"? As long as it's not against the shariat then we don't need anyone to tell us what can be done and what cannot. And if not from interview like this how would you know about your potential spouse?
    I wasn't making a judgement so lets stay calm

    The conditions for potentials are layed out so for example a wali has a defined role and that role would be to ensure that a proposed potential fits a set criteria, why then would we need a 1 on 1 interview?

    Also where in shariah would you say interviews are allowed?

    Leave a comment:


  • budi.sudaryo
    replied
    Re: Pre-marital interview: common questions and how to answer them?

    Originally posted by The Awakening View Post
    The answers have to be your own. We can't give you the answers, we're not the ones going to the meeting!
    Yes but I'm clueless. Some pointers would be nice!

    Leave a comment:


  • The Awakening
    replied
    Originally posted by nonameakhi View Post
    Serious question here

    Who says you can have such an interview?

    Note I am not saying potentials cant request seeing each other etc

    Its this whole interview process that seems to be spoken about as the ''norm''

    Not apportioning blame or criticising etc just curious
    But how else would people be able to ask each other questions and gauge the other person's character/personality?

    Leave a comment:


  • budi.sudaryo
    replied
    Re: Pre-marital interview: common questions and how to answer them?

    Originally posted by nonameakhi View Post
    Serious question here

    Who says you can have such an interview?

    Note I am not saying potentials cant request seeing each other etc

    Its this whole interview process that seems to be spoken about as the ''norm''

    Not apportioning blame or criticising etc just curious
    What do you mean "who"? As long as it's not against the sharia then we don't need anyone to tell us what can be done and what cannot. And if not from interview like this how would you know more about your potential spouse?

    Leave a comment:


  • nonameakhi
    replied
    Re: Pre-marital interview: common questions and how to answer them?

    Originally posted by xFedal View Post
    do you think quit listening to music is easy, music is amongst the most addictive things on this planet.
    yes it is and no it isn't

    Leave a comment:

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