Ads by Muslim Ad Network

Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Pre-marital interview: common questions and how to answer them?

Collapse
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • Pre-marital interview: common questions and how to answer them?

    Assalamualaikum,

    Dear akhi's and ukhti's, I was wondering what are some frequently asked questions from the woman side and what are the expected answers? If you're not clear, pre-marital interview is when you're introduced by a third party to a potential wife/husband and you ask each other questions regarding compatibility in life. Or you already know the man/woman and want to get serious in a shar'i way.

    Also what if you find one thing that is a dealbreaker, for example they listen to music, do you ask them to stop the habit (assuming other things are compatible) or you find somebody else? How far are you willing to compromise? What are the things that are compromisable?

    Also if you have a link to relevant threads or articles it's OK too instead of answering.

    Thank you!
    I'm on a strict time management regiment and have to limit my time online. Therefore I have to reply selectively. Please don't be offended if I ignore your questions. :jkk:

  • #2
    Re: Pre-marital interview: common questions and how to answer them?

    Originally posted by budi.sudaryo View Post
    Assalamualaikum,

    Dear akhi's and ukhti's, I was wondering what are some frequently asked questions from the woman side and what are the expected answers? If you're not clear, pre-marital interview is when you're introduced by a third party to a potential wife/husband and you ask each other questions regarding compatibility in life. Or you already know the man/woman and want to get serious in a shar'i way.

    Also what if you find one thing that is a dealbreaker, for example they listen to music, do you ask them to stop the habit (assuming other things are compatible) or you find somebody else? How far are you willing to compromise? What are the things that are compromisable?

    Also if you have a link to relevant threads or articles it's OK too instead of answering.

    Thank you!
    Everyone listens to music this here shouldn't be a huge issue, asking about how much income the spouse has will be a deal breaker,

    Comment


    • #3
      Originally posted by xFedal View Post
      Everyone listens to music this here shouldn't be a huge issue, asking about how much income the spouse has will be a deal breaker,
      You have no right telling anyone what should and should not be a deal breaker for them. Some of us do not want to marry someone who listens to music (myself included) and it can very well be a deal breaker if they don't show any intention of quitting.
      اللهُمَّ أَعِزَّ الإِسْلامَ وَالمُسْلِمِينَ

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: Pre-marital interview: common questions and how to answer them?

        Originally posted by xFedal View Post
        Everyone listens to music this here shouldn't be a huge issue, asking about how much income the spouse has will be a deal breaker,
        well I don't listen to music and actually dislike it now so it could be a dealbreaker for me..
        I'm on a strict time management regiment and have to limit my time online. Therefore I have to reply selectively. Please don't be offended if I ignore your questions. :jkk:

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: Pre-marital interview: common questions and how to answer them?

          Originally posted by budi.sudaryo View Post
          well I don't listen to music and actually dislike it now so it could be a dealbreaker for me..
          For me that's one the things Ill compromise on

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: Pre-marital interview: common questions and how to answer them?

            some questions I discovered:

            Why are you interested in marrying at this time?
            What is your concept of marriage?
            What are you expectations of marriage?
            What are your goals in life? (long and short term)
            What is the role of the husband?
            What is your relationship with your family? (when it's actually bad)

            Any suggestions for the answers?
            I'm on a strict time management regiment and have to limit my time online. Therefore I have to reply selectively. Please don't be offended if I ignore your questions. :jkk:

            Comment


            • #7
              Pre-marital interview: common questions and how to answer them?

              The answers have to be your own. We can't give you the answers, we're not the ones going to the meeting!
              اللهُمَّ أَعِزَّ الإِسْلامَ وَالمُسْلِمِينَ

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: Pre-marital interview: common questions and how to answer them?

                Originally posted by The Awakening View Post
                You have no right telling anyone what should and should not be a deal breaker for them. Some of us do not want to marry someone who listens to music (myself included) and it can very well be a deal breaker if they don't show any intention of quitting.
                do you think quit listening to music is easy, music is amongst the most addictive things on this planet.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: Pre-marital interview: common questions and how to answer them?

                  Serious question here

                  Who says you can have such an interview?

                  Note I am not saying potentials cant request seeing each other etc

                  Its this whole interview process that seems to be spoken about as the ''norm''

                  Not apportioning blame or criticising etc just curious

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by xFedal View Post
                    do you think quit listening to music is easy, music is amongst the most addictive things on this planet.
                    Never said it was. But that still doesn't make it less of a sin. At least dislike it in your heart and have the intention of quitting.
                    اللهُمَّ أَعِزَّ الإِسْلامَ وَالمُسْلِمِينَ

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Re: Pre-marital interview: common questions and how to answer them?

                      Originally posted by xFedal View Post
                      do you think quit listening to music is easy, music is amongst the most addictive things on this planet.
                      yes it is and no it isn't

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Re: Pre-marital interview: common questions and how to answer them?

                        Originally posted by nonameakhi View Post
                        Serious question here

                        Who says you can have such an interview?

                        Note I am not saying potentials cant request seeing each other etc

                        Its this whole interview process that seems to be spoken about as the ''norm''

                        Not apportioning blame or criticising etc just curious
                        What do you mean "who"? As long as it's not against the sharia then we don't need anyone to tell us what can be done and what cannot. And if not from interview like this how would you know more about your potential spouse?
                        I'm on a strict time management regiment and have to limit my time online. Therefore I have to reply selectively. Please don't be offended if I ignore your questions. :jkk:

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Originally posted by nonameakhi View Post
                          Serious question here

                          Who says you can have such an interview?

                          Note I am not saying potentials cant request seeing each other etc

                          Its this whole interview process that seems to be spoken about as the ''norm''

                          Not apportioning blame or criticising etc just curious
                          But how else would people be able to ask each other questions and gauge the other person's character/personality?
                          اللهُمَّ أَعِزَّ الإِسْلامَ وَالمُسْلِمِينَ

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Re: Pre-marital interview: common questions and how to answer them?

                            Originally posted by The Awakening View Post
                            The answers have to be your own. We can't give you the answers, we're not the ones going to the meeting!
                            Yes but I'm clueless. Some pointers would be nice!
                            I'm on a strict time management regiment and have to limit my time online. Therefore I have to reply selectively. Please don't be offended if I ignore your questions. :jkk:

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Re: Pre-marital interview: common questions and how to answer them?

                              Originally posted by budi.sudaryo View Post
                              What do you mean "who"? As long as it's not against the shariat then we don't need anyone to tell us what can be done and what cannot. And if not from interview like this how would you know about your potential spouse?
                              I wasn't making a judgement so lets stay calm

                              The conditions for potentials are layed out so for example a wali has a defined role and that role would be to ensure that a proposed potential fits a set criteria, why then would we need a 1 on 1 interview?

                              Also where in shariah would you say interviews are allowed?

                              Comment

                              Working...
                              X