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How to identify and find an obedient wife?

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  • #31
    Re: How to identify and find an obedient wife?

    Originally posted by brothernd View Post
    AssalamuAlaikum Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Barakatahu,

    I am a single guy who plans to get married soon inshaAllah when I am financially secure soon inshaAllah.

    I have a struggle because outwardly and inwardly, I can admit that I want a righteous woman, but I at the same time, I have desires and I want her to be beautiful. And marriage is an important life decision for the rest of my life. I have suddenly come to the realization that I want an obedient wife. After looking at my character, yes I do get angry and I do get frustrated especially when I am not listened to by someone or someone argues. My mother has a way of aggravating me and I unfortunately get angry when she doesn't let me speak and I criticize her mistakes making her angry too. And this has made me realize that I'm not good at controlling my anger sometimes. Astaghfrullah

    This has made me realize that if I had a wife who would not listen to me, then I would get angry at her, and I don't want to get angry at her and make things worse... so thus, I want an obedient wife. Is that reasoning reasonable? How can I find someone who is obedient?
    Wailaikumsalam Warahmatullahi wabarakathu,

    Firstly, fix yourself as stated. Soley because a righteous wife is a gem - and if you get angry for little reasons - then you do not deserve one in all honesty.

    Secondly, identifying a obedient wife is fairly easy. You ask for it .... those who have a problem with that - will for SURE, let you know of reject you - but the good things with the obedient character is that - those who like the title will be honest with you, and those who do not like the characteristic will also be honest with you!

    It does require you to earn it also, but you can identify stuff like this - by asking how she is at home - who does majority of household works - how she is with her mum - etc etc

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    • #32
      Re: How to identify and find an obedient wife?

      Originally posted by brothernd View Post
      AssalamuAlaikum Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Barakatahu,

      I am a single guy who plans to get married soon inshaAllah when I am financially secure soon inshaAllah.

      I have a struggle because outwardly and inwardly, I can admit that I want a righteous woman, but I at the same time, I have desires and I want her to be beautiful. And marriage is an important life decision for the rest of my life. I have suddenly come to the realization that I want an obedient wife. After looking at my character, yes I do get angry and I do get frustrated especially when I am not listened to by someone or someone argues. My mother has a way of aggravating me and I unfortunately get angry when she doesn't let me speak and I criticize her mistakes making her angry too. And this has made me realize that I'm not good at controlling my anger sometimes. Astaghfrullah

      This has made me realize that if I had a wife who would not listen to me, then I would get angry at her, and I don't want to get angry at her and make things worse... so thus, I want an obedient wife. Is that reasoning reasonable? How can I find someone who is obedient?
      Wailaikumsalam Warahmatullahi wabarakathu,

      Firstly, fix yourself as stated. Soley because a obedient, righteous wife is a gem - and if we get angry for little reasons - then we do not deserve one in all honesty.

      Secondly, identifying a obedient wife is fairly easy. You ask for it .... those who have a problem with that - will for SURE, let you know of reject you - but the good things with the obedient character is that - those who like the title will be honest with you, and those who do not like the characteristic will also be honest with you!

      It does require you to earn it also, but you can identify stuff like this - by asking how she is at home - who does majority of household works - how she is with her mum - etc etc
      Last edited by QMU; 18-09-14, 03:13 PM.

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      • #33
        Re: How to identify and find an obedient wife?

        This is actually quite easy. If you would like to see how obedient your future wife is going to be; check how obedient your Mum and sisters are to you.
        Believe none of what you hear, and only half of what you see.

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        • #34
          Re: How to identify and find an obedient wife?

          Ebay or Gumtree.
          There is rest only in the aakhira.
          Man will rest in the aakhira according to how hard he strives in dunya.

          - Khaalid Ibn Al Waleed (ra) -

          If you find yourself in a time where speech is regarded as knowledge,
          and knowledge is regarded as deeds,
          then you are in the worst of times, with the worst of people.

          - Abu Hazim Al Ashja'i (ra) -

          I saw a dog without any clothes on .
          That's right, a nude dog.
          The Deepweb is disgusting.
          - Unknown -


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          • #35
            Re: How to identify and find an obedient wife?

            Originally posted by brothernd View Post
            AssalamuAlaikum Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Barakatahu,

            I am a single guy who plans to get married soon inshaAllah when I am financially secure soon inshaAllah.

            I have a struggle because outwardly and inwardly, I can admit that I want a righteous woman, but I at the same time, I have desires and I want her to be beautiful. And marriage is an important life decision for the rest of my life. I have suddenly come to the realization that I want an obedient wife. After looking at my character, yes I do get angry and I do get frustrated especially when I am not listened to by someone or someone argues. My mother has a way of aggravating me and I unfortunately get angry when she doesn't let me speak and I criticize her mistakes making her angry too. And this has made me realize that I'm not good at controlling my anger sometimes. Astaghfrullah

            This has made me realize that if I had a wife who would not listen to me, then I would get angry at her, and I don't want to get angry at her and make things worse... so thus, I want an obedient wife. Is that reasoning reasonable? How can I find someone who is obedient?
            You need to fix yourself before getting married. Learn to control your anger. Having an obedient wife doesn't you won't have disagreements from time to time. What are you going to do if you have kids? Kids always do things they aren't supposed to? Are you going to get angry with them all the time?

            If you can't control your own anger with your mom how can you manage a wife and kids?
            Say, O My servants who have transgressed against themselves [by sinning], do not despair of the mercy of Allah . Indeed, Allah forgives all sins. Indeed, it is He who is the Forgiving, the Merciful.”
            (Surah Az Zumar, (Chapter 39: Verse 53)

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            • #36
              Re: How to identify and find an obedient wife?

              mmmmm

              anger issues

              no wife is gonna hang around - obedient or not obedient if you start to fly off the handle for no reason at all.

              if you cant even speak nicely to your own mother, she to whom we cant even say uff to , how can you be nnice to a wife.

              as nonameakhi said, start beautifying your own character and manners before you start seeking a beautiful obedient wife
              Ibnul Qayyim رحمه الله said: "Don’t ruin your happiness with worry, and don’t ruin your mind with pessimism. Don’t ruin your success with deception and don’t ruin the optimism of others by destroying it. Don’t ruin your day by looking back at yesterday.
              __________________________________________________ _____________________________
              If you think about your situation, you will find that Allaah (سبحانه وتعالى) has given you things without asking, so have trust in Allaah (سبحانه وتعالى) that He doesn’t prevent anything you want except there is goodness for you.

              You could be sleeping and the doors of the heavens are being opened with dua’as being made on your behalf, SubhanAllaah: perhaps from someone poor whom you helped, or someone sad whom you brought joy, or someone passing by and you smiled at him, or someone in distress and you removed it.. so don’t ever underestimate any good deeds."



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