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  • Question to the sisters

    Salam guys,
    My question to the sisters is, what would you want your perfect man to be like, in terms of personality?
    Especially to the sisters who are really strong on the deen
    I am asking because I think I've messed up, my super shy personality makes first impressions hard :(

  • #2
    Re: Question to the sisters

    there.is.no.perfect.man
    ~ Dont trade a house in Jannah :insha:, for a lowly house in this transient world ~

    They want to extinguish the light of Allah with their mouths, but Allah will perfect His light, although the disbelievers dislike it (61 : 8)

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: Question to the sisters

      Originally posted by Just do Tawbah View Post
      Salam guys,
      My question to the sisters is, what would you want your perfect man to be like, in terms of personality?
      Especially to the sisters who are really strong on the deen
      I am asking because I think I've messed up, my super shy personality makes first impressions hard :(

      most deeni women like shy brothers

      not supershy but certainly modest and humble men are qutie endearing

      work on the shyness though.
      as i said super shy is but shy is quite endearing
      Ibnul Qayyim رحمه الله said: "Dont ruin your happiness with worry, and dont ruin your mind with pessimism. Dont ruin your success with deception and dont ruin the optimism of others by destroying it. Dont ruin your day by looking back at yesterday.
      __________________________________________________ _____________________________
      If you think about your situation, you will find that Allaah (سبحانه وتعالى) has given you things without asking, so have trust in Allaah (سبحانه وتعالى) that He doesnt prevent anything you want except there is goodness for you.

      You could be sleeping and the doors of the heavens are being opened with duaas being made on your behalf, SubhanAllaah: perhaps from someone poor whom you helped, or someone sad whom you brought joy, or someone passing by and you smiled at him, or someone in distress and you removed it.. so dont ever underestimate any good deeds."



      please donate to the Ummah forum sadaqa jariya project. Click on the link for for more information, and to make a donation- https://www.justgiving.com/sadaqah-jariyah-project/

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: Question to the sisters

        Very true... But you get what im trying to say, "what would you want your future husband to be like"

        Comment


        • #5
          Question to the sisters

          Humble, shy - but confident when he needs to be, protective, lower gaze, etc
          The Messenger of Allah ﷺ said: “It will be said to the companion of the Qur’an: ‘Read, and ascend, and recite as you used to recite in the [previous] world, for your status will be according to the last verse that you recite.’” [At-Tirmidhi (2914) and Abu Dawood (1464)]

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: Question to the sisters

            Originally posted by iRepIslam View Post
            Humble, shy - but confident when he needs to be, protective, lower gaze, etc
            this

            plus

            compassionate, kind, fair,
            Ibnul Qayyim رحمه الله said: "Dont ruin your happiness with worry, and dont ruin your mind with pessimism. Dont ruin your success with deception and dont ruin the optimism of others by destroying it. Dont ruin your day by looking back at yesterday.
            __________________________________________________ _____________________________
            If you think about your situation, you will find that Allaah (سبحانه وتعالى) has given you things without asking, so have trust in Allaah (سبحانه وتعالى) that He doesnt prevent anything you want except there is goodness for you.

            You could be sleeping and the doors of the heavens are being opened with duaas being made on your behalf, SubhanAllaah: perhaps from someone poor whom you helped, or someone sad whom you brought joy, or someone passing by and you smiled at him, or someone in distress and you removed it.. so dont ever underestimate any good deeds."



            please donate to the Ummah forum sadaqa jariya project. Click on the link for for more information, and to make a donation- https://www.justgiving.com/sadaqah-jariyah-project/

            Comment


            • #7
              Question to the sisters

              Someone who talks, isn't serious all the time, and someone who is especially family orientated
              The Messenger of Allah ﷺ said: “It will be said to the companion of the Qur’an: ‘Read, and ascend, and recite as you used to recite in the [previous] world, for your status will be according to the last verse that you recite.’” [At-Tirmidhi (2914) and Abu Dawood (1464)]

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: Question to the sisters

                what i like about my husband

                shy in a modest way but confident otherwise
                protective
                leader
                lowers gaze
                caring
                helpful
                fair
                honest
                provider
                trustworthy
                and he shows me love but hes not OTT about it as i find it too much when somebody constanly in your face saying i love you baby what can i do for you baby,how high shall i jump for you baby
                most important hes on hes deen

                there is no perfect men but mine is good for for me masha Allah AlhamduLillah i wouldnt want anyone else

                my advice brother is to try not to be somebody else rather try be more confident so your personality shines through BUT not over confident ,also no point try to be somebosy else you can not put a act in marriage as you together everyday but you can try improve to be better but still being yourself

                shyness not a bad thing its a blessing but women like to see somebody who can take lead of hes family so dont come across to shy

                may Allah give you a rightouse spouse ameen
                Last edited by Revert08; 27-08-14, 11:53 AM.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: Question to the sisters

                  Kind, funny, calming, protective

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: Question to the sisters

                    Originally posted by iRepIslam View Post
                    Someone who talks, isn't serious all the time, and someone who is especially family orientated
                    I was looking at all the other traits mentioned above and I thought, yea I have that... But as soon as you said talking that's something I find hard. For some reason I just melt when I am speaking face to face with another girl especially if we the same age, but I'm okay with other guys and older women.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Question to the sisters

                      talking.. Well you should be talking to your wife if you're married with her :/ whether she's your age or not
                      The Messenger of Allah ﷺ said: “It will be said to the companion of the Qur’an: ‘Read, and ascend, and recite as you used to recite in the [previous] world, for your status will be according to the last verse that you recite.’” [At-Tirmidhi (2914) and Abu Dawood (1464)]

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Re: Question to the sisters

                        Originally posted by Revert08 View Post
                        what i like about my husband

                        shy in a modest way but confident otherwise
                        protective
                        leader
                        lowers gaze
                        caring
                        helpful
                        fair
                        honest
                        provider
                        trustworthy
                        and he shows me love but hes not OTT about it as i find it too much when somebody constanly in your face saying i love you baby what can i do for you baby,how high shall i jump for you baby
                        most important hes on hes deen

                        there is no perfect men but mine is perfect for me masha Allah AlhamduLillah

                        my advice brother is to try not to be somebody else rather try be more confident so your personality shines through BUT not over confident ,also no point try to be somebosy else you can not put a act in marriage as you together everyday but you can try improve to be better but still being yourself

                        shyness not a bad thing its a blessing but women like to see somebody who can take lead of hes family so dont come across to shy

                        may Allah give you a rightouse spouse
                        Thanks for your reply, basically my situation was that my mother wants me to look for a spouse, to marry after study. She told me this before I went on my holiday to pakistan and I knew I had to make a good impression on everyone that i meet so I did. My mum especially pointed out this girl who is very Islamic and very smart. She is currently doing a doctors degree and she prays 5 times and wears niqab when her whole family doesn't etc... I really liked her, but the shyness got the best of me and I think I didn't make a good impression. I'm now back from my holiday and I have no idea wether she even liked me. So I think I messed this up. I wish I got your advice earlier about not making shyness come across as family's like someone who takes lead

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Re: Question to the sisters

                          Originally posted by iRepIslam View Post
                          talking.. Well you should be talking to your wife if you're married with her :/ whether she's your age or not
                          I'm not married, I'm 19 and looking to marry :P

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Re: Question to the sisters

                            Originally posted by Just do Tawbah View Post
                            I'm not married, I'm 19 and looking to marry :P
                            I think eventually you'll get comfortable with your wife (when you have one). It'll probably be hard to talk to her at first but :insha: you'll open up more when you spend more time with her.

                            I'm the same. If I talk to a guy face to face I turn red and I think everything I'm doing is wrong. Like maybe I laughed weird, or I said something stupid so it's hard for me to get comfortable. Even if I'm not attracted to them

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Re: Question to the sisters

                              Originally posted by Just do Tawbah View Post
                              Thanks for your reply, basically my situation was that my mother wants me to look for a spouse, to marry after study. She told me this before I went on my holiday to pakistan and I knew I had to make a good impression on everyone that i meet so I did. My mum especially pointed out this girl who is very Islamic and very smart. She is currently doing a doctors degree and she prays 5 times and wears niqab when her whole family doesn't etc... I really liked her, but the shyness got the best of me and I think I didn't make a good impression. I'm now back from my holiday and I have no idea wether she even liked me. So I think I messed this up. I wish I got your advice earlier about not making shyness come across as family's like someone who takes lead
                              brother i can totally understand why you feel shy it must be so akward trying to get to know somebody through family and the situation,if you feel you messed up ask her family if you can meet her again as you feel nerves got the better of you and you didnt feel your personality came across ?insha Allah if you just be honest to her about it if she a rightouse sweet lady she will understand ,if not then im sure the more you meet people the more you will get used to it and learn from mistakes ,brother may Allah reward you for looking for a wife the right way ,just know if you keep it halal in your search Allah will give you a rightouse blessed marriage insha Allah and whatever it written is written their is so many nice women keep searching if it dont go right with this sister maybe its not written for you to marry,dont let it knock your confidence keep searching ,i hope she accpets to meet you again if not i hope you find a wife that will make you happy and help you to Jannah Ameen

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