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She has become Muslim and he wants to marry her but his mother refuses : IslamQA

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  • #46
    Re: She has become Muslim and he wants to marry her but his mother refuses : IslamQA

    Question
    Last edited by samraz26; 19-09-14, 01:58 AM.

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    • #47
      Re: She has become Muslim and he wants to marry her but his mother refuses : IslamQA

      Originally posted by samraz26 View Post
      heres a similar fatwa abt a guy and a girl
      More cultural placating advice. Most of these scholars know which side their bread is buttered. A mother cannot make the Halal into Haram. She cant force her son not to marry someone without a valid Islamic reason and no 'Bcos Mama says so' isn't a valid reason.

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      • #48
        Re: She has become Muslim and he wants to marry her but his mother refuses : IslamQA

        Originally posted by samraz26 View Post
        because obeying his mother is obligatory for him, but marrying you in particular is nothttp://ww.islamweb.org/emainpage/art...waId&Id=125243

        i dont know which imams revert08 went to see...we have to be careful, therez a lot of modernists playing with the deen these days

        "In the third case it is permissible for him, but obeying them is obligatory, and what is obligatory takes precedence over what is permissible." - http://islamqa.info/en/98768
        what and your quick to believe somebody on the internet you do know it could be anyone writting that
        refusing your children to marry somebody who has deen and good charachter is not right try watching the marriage lectures on you tube by mufti menk he will tell you and the imans i went to see where trusted elders ,and one of them was very close personal friend to my inlaws and he still told them they making a sin refusing me because im a muslim women

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        • #49
          Re: She has become Muslim and he wants to marry her but his mother refuses : IslamQA

          Originally posted by samraz26 View Post
          evenz if there waz no haram relationship with that girl, he'd still have to obey his mother :up:

          bcoz obeying the mum is obligatory, but marrying the girl is only permissible but is not obligatory

          and what is obligatory takes precedence over what is permissible :)


          "In the third case it is permissible for him, but obeying them is obligatory, and what is obligatory takes precedence over what is permissible." - http://islamqa.info/en/98768

          heres a similar fatwa abt a guy and a girl

          ‘’With regard to this young man’s obedience to his mother and refraining from marrying you, this is lawful because obeying his mother is obligatory for him, but marrying you in particular is not. However, he should try to convince his mother in every possible way. If she agreed, then praise be to Allaah The Almighty; otherwise, he must obey his mother unless he feared to be tempted because of your relationship. In such a case, it is permissible for him to marry you even if his mother did not agree, then he must do his best to please her.’’

          http://ww.islamweb.org/emainpage/art...waId&Id=125243

          i dont know which imams revert08 went to see...we have to be careful, therez a lot of modernists playing with the deen these days

          I'd really advise against copy and pasting snippets of random fatwa that you yourself don't fully understand.

          Just to give you an example of the contradiction;

          http://islamqa.info/en/98768

          1-

          Not approving of any girl whom he chooses for himself as a wife.

          4-

          The same scenario as that mentioned above, but he is infatuated with her, and fears fitnah for himself if he does not marry her.

          5-

          Forcing him to marry a girl whom they choose for him, even if she is religiously committed and of good character.

          ..

          As for the first, fourth and fifth scenarios, it does not seem that he is obliged to obey them, because choosing a wife is the son’s right, not the parents’; they may intervene in some cases but not in all. Preventing him from marrying any girl he chooses, regardless of whether she is religiously-committed or not, is pointless and he does not have to obey them.

          The same applies if he is infatuated with a woman and fears fitnah if he does not marry her. In this case he does not have to obey them if they tell him to leave her and not marry her, because that may lead to evil and fitnah that Islam came to prevent.
          IslamQA is clearly showing you don't have to obey your parents in the above scenarios, which contradicts what you said earlier.

          For your own good, it's not smart to copy and paste fatwa without fully understanding them.

          Originally posted by R0nin View Post
          From what I've seen of your posts so far, I tend to skip them rather than waste my time
          Alhamdulillah. That's good for you.
          Last edited by Perseveranze; 24-08-14, 09:25 AM.
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          • #50
            Re: She has become Muslim and he wants to marry her but his mother refuses : IslamQA

            Question
            Last edited by samraz26; 19-09-14, 01:57 AM.

            Comment


            • #51
              Re: She has become Muslim and he wants to marry her but his mother refuses : IslamQA

              Question
              Last edited by samraz26; 19-09-14, 01:55 AM.

              Comment


              • #52
                Re: She has become Muslim and he wants to marry her but his mother refuses : IslamQA

                Originally posted by samraz26 View Post
                oh i read it all :) all right :redface:

                i only copy n pasted the bits which were relevant to this thread

                of course if they are forcing him to marry someone its not obligatory to obey nor is it obligatory to obey the parents if he is gonna go and commit zina because these things will cause him harm

                but under normal situations, if a parent doesn't like their son marrying a woman, even if their objection is for a worldly reason-like she's not a virgin or she has kids or she's unattractive or she's not rich-then he has to obey his parents because what is obligatory takes precedence over what is permissible

                if his parents order him to refrain from doing something permissible, he has to obey as long as it doesn't cause him harm :hidban:

                "If a father tells a child to do something good, or to stop doing something that is permissible, he should obey him so long as that will not cause the son any harm."

                http://islamqa.info/en/5053

                & in the OP fatwa the scholar didnt say that the son has to obey his mum bcoz of the haram relationship beforehand, he said the son had to obey bcoz obedience to his mother is obligatory and marrying the girl is not obligatory

                the scholar said......

                "There are many women and a man does not have to marry a particular woman. So obedience to your mother should take precedence in this case, because that means that you will be honouring her and treating her kindly. "

                see another scholar says the same in this fatwa too :D

                ‘’With regard to this young man’s obedience to his mother and refraining from marrying you, this is lawful because obeying his mother is obligatory for him, but marrying you in particular is not. However, he should try to convince his mother in every possible way. If she agreed, then praise be to Allaah The Almighty; otherwise, he must obey his mother unless he feared to be tempted because of your relationship. In such a case, it is permissible for him to marry you even if his mother did not agree, then he must do his best to please her.’’ ___ http://ww.islamweb.org/emainpage/art...waId&Id=125243

                ‘’To be kind to one's parents is: to obey them when they order you to do something, unless it is something which Allah has forbidden; to give priority to their orders over voluntary acts of worship; to abstain from that which they forbid you to do
                Why are you so power-hungry?
                Fabi-ayyiala -i rabbikuma tukaththibani
                Then which of the favors of your Lord will ye deny?
                http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vr8DR8frP_s

                You are not here just to fill space or to be a background character in someone else's movie. Consider this: nothing would be the same if you did not exist. Every place you have ever been and everyone you have ever spoken to would be different without you. We are all connected, and we are all affected by the decisions and even the existence of those around us.

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                • #53
                  Re: She has become Muslim and he wants to marry her but his mother refuses : IslamQA

                  Salaam,

                  I thought Islamicly, us men don't need anyone's permission to marry, just the permission of her Wali. I know in my case that's what I would do, just need the Wali's permission and not anyone elses's. Yeah it's good to have both parents blessings...but it's not required. If I'm wrong, please correct me :jkk:
                  "Knowing what you don’t know is more useful than being brilliant.”
                  -Charlie Munger
                  "It seems that we're better at finding someone to blame for our problems than we are at finding creative solutions to fix them.”
                  -Neil deGrasse Tyson

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                  • #54
                    Re: She has become Muslim and he wants to marry her but his mother refuses : IslamQA

                    Question
                    Last edited by samraz26; 19-09-14, 01:57 AM.

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                    • #55
                      Re: She has become Muslim and he wants to marry her but his mother refuses : IslamQA

                      Question
                      Last edited by samraz26; 19-09-14, 01:52 AM.

                      Comment


                      • #56
                        Re: She has become Muslim and he wants to marry her but his mother refuses : IslamQA

                        Originally posted by samraz26 View Post
                        It seems to us from the rulings on the scenarios mentioned above that the son should obey his parents in the second and third cases, and that it is definitely obligatory for him to do so in the second case. In the second case the matter is clear and he has to obey them, because he is going to do something that is bad for their son and may also affect them.
                        This guy is confused about his own advice. It 'seems' to him that maybe a child 'should' perhaps do XYZ. He's using the language of speculation and indecisiveness.

                        The only advice he actually gives is to endorse point 2 which is that parents should discourage their children from doing Haram (going against the Shariah) but you dont need a scholar to tell you that. The scholar then surreptitiously throws in the Christan and Jews reference whilst openly admitting it's not against the Shariah, so neither the scholar nor the parents have any right to make the Halal into Haram.

                        Another quality fatwa from IslamQA

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