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How would you feel if a potential spouse did a background check on you?

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  • #31
    Re: How would you feel if a potential spouse did a background check on you?

    Wouldnt bother me. Its part of inquiring
    "They are Shuhadaa (witnesses) to the fact that this Deen is greater than life, that values are more important than blood and that principles are more precious than souls" - Sheikh 'Abdullah Azzam

    Lost in Islamic History :inlove:

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    • #32
      Re: How would you feel if a potential spouse did a background check on you?

      I would only hate it if someone searched for my old usernames I had when I was a teenager. Oh goodness the horror...

      Thank goodness no one can find anything about me through brightesthour :D

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      • #33
        Re: How would you feel if a potential spouse did a background check on you?

        there is no problem. it makes sense.
        got nothing to hide so they can do as many checks as they like.
        'And when a thing for which you ask is slow to come,
        Then know that often through delay are gifts received'
        علي الحبشي

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        • #34
          Re: How would you feel if a potential spouse did a background check on you?

          My dad did one on my husband.

          He was initially annoyed, but his parents told him, that they would have done the same for their daughter if they had had the know how.
          https://sufisticated101.wordpress.com

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          • #35
            Re: How would you feel if a potential spouse did a background check on you?

            Salam alaykum OP.
            Would you run a background check on your potential?

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            • #36
              Re: How would you feel if a potential spouse did a background check on you?

              Originally posted by Tahiyah View Post
              Lets say you have been talking to someone for some time and have reached the point where your seriously considering marrying that person...you have already been through all the formal stuff and have said things to each other like..is there anything you would like to know about me, etc? feeling confident that you are making a good choice and then you find out that this person did a background check on you. would you feel violated or would you be understanding? especially if that person told you they felt confident in trusting you to a life of marriage and had no further questions.

              i mean, i can understand in these times, there are crazies out there...but you and this person have talked alot and you found out this background check was a recent thing.

              would you be bothered?
              Just do a background check on him too. Also make sure you check his medical records. Men rarely know they have an STD.

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              • #37
                Re: How would you feel if a potential spouse did a background check on you?

                Its part and parcel of the procedure

                You check both virtual and real life of that person.

                My sister was even watched near the entrance of her college couple times by her (now inlaws), without her knowing and this was 15 years ago :o and dad too did some detective job on him lol

                sigpic

                Allahumma anta Rabbi la ilaha illa anta Khalaqtani wa ana'abduka, wa ana 'ala 'ahdika wa Wa'dika mastata'tu A'uidhubika min sharri ma sana'tu.' abu'u Laka bi ni 'matika wa'ala abu'u bidhanbi; faghfirli fa'innahu la yaghfiru-dh-dhunuba illa anta.
                O Allah, You are my Lord, none has the right to be worshipped except You, You created me and I am Your servant and I abide to Your covenant and promise as best I can, I take refuge in You from the evil of which I have committed. I acknowledge Your favour upon me and I acknowledgemy sin, so forgive me, for verilynone can forgive sin except You.



                We are accountable for every letter we post here, so think before posting and maintain modesty.

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                • #38
                  Re: How would you feel if a potential spouse did a background check on you?

                  i'd say bring it on but then i'd think what if they read my posts on ummah forum

                  __________________________________________________ _____________________________



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                  • #39
                    Re: How would you feel if a potential spouse did a background check on you?

                    I'd be like, you happy now?? haha

                    I would probably do the same tho.
                    You are spending potentially your life with this person and theres nothing wrong with being sure you are choosing the right one
                    Believe
                    there is
                    good in the world

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                    • #40
                      How would you feel if a potential spouse did a background check on you?

                      dont care
                      They say good things come to those who wait, so imma be at least an hour late

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                      • #41
                        Re: How would you feel if a potential spouse did a background check on you?

                        I have a exceptionally clean background so it wouldn't bother me.
                        "When a man sees the road as long he weakens in his walk." Ibn Qayyim

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                        • #42
                          How would you feel if a potential spouse did a background check on you?

                          Casj, my family does background checks too 8)
                          The Messenger of Allah ﷺ said: “It will be said to the companion of the Qur’an: ‘Read, and ascend, and recite as you used to recite in the [previous] world, for your status will be according to the last verse that you recite.’” [At-Tirmidhi (2914) and Abu Dawood (1464)]

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                          • #43
                            Re: How would you feel if a potential spouse did a background check on you?

                            I wouldn't mind. In fact I would do background checks on a potential

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                            • #44
                              Re: How would you feel if a potential spouse did a background check on you?

                              Originally posted by Tahiyah View Post
                              Lets say you have been talking to someone for some time and have reached the point where your seriously considering marrying that person...you have already been through all the formal stuff and have said things to each other like..is there anything you would like to know about me, etc? feeling confident that you are making a good choice and then you find out that this person did a background check on you. would you feel violated or would you be understanding? especially if that person told you they felt confident in trusting you to a life of marriage and had no further questions.

                              i mean, i can understand in these times, there are crazies out there...but you and this person have talked alot and you found out this background check was a recent thing.

                              would you be bothered?
                              I'd just take normally. I think background checking should be done from both sides. Ideally I'd like to see both spouses telling each other that would indeed do background checking even after liking each other and feeling confident about the marriage going through.

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                              • #45
                                Re: How would you feel if a potential spouse did a background check on you?

                                I'd be disappointed that they did not tell me (isn't this legally required anyways)

                                But I'd understand why they needed to do the checks. Asking me would not have changed much so they should have.

                                Also the fact that the person went behind ones back says something about their character to you.
                                Believe none of what you hear, and only half of what you see.

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