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How would you feel if a potential spouse did a background check on you?

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  • How would you feel if a potential spouse did a background check on you?

    Lets say you have been talking to someone for some time and have reached the point where your seriously considering marrying that person...you have already been through all the formal stuff and have said things to each other like..is there anything you would like to know about me, etc? feeling confident that you are making a good choice and then you find out that this person did a background check on you. would you feel violated or would you be understanding? especially if that person told you they felt confident in trusting you to a life of marriage and had no further questions.

    i mean, i can understand in these times, there are crazies out there...but you and this person have talked alot and you found out this background check was a recent thing.

    would you be bothered?

  • #2
    Re: How would you feel if a potential spouse did a background check on you?

    also, they didnt tell you they were doing a background check on you or asked your permission...you just kinda found out from a source

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    • #3
      Re: How would you feel if a potential spouse did a background check on you?

      Seeing the immorality in today's day and age ill understand why they did it. I won't be offended
      "The duty of the man who investigates the writings of scientists, if learning the truth is his goal, is to make himself an enemy of all that he reads, and,.. attack it from every side. He should also suspect himself as he performs his critical examination of it, so that he may avoid falling into either prejudice or leniency."
      -Alhazen Ibn Al-Haythem

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      • #4
        Re: How would you feel if a potential spouse did a background check on you?

        I wouldn't care if they did a background check on me. We live in some crazy times now days.

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        • #5
          Re: How would you feel if a potential spouse did a background check on you?

          would you mention to them that you found out about this? or just drop it?

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          • #6
            Re: How would you feel if a potential spouse did a background check on you?

            Not really, because that person wouldn't do that checking unless he is interested and wants to take it further, from a psychological point of view.

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            • #7
              Re: How would you feel if a potential spouse did a background check on you?

              do you think it would be wrong to ask him to have an aids test or STD test done? lol.. wow... somehow this kills the romance before it starts

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              • #8
                Re: How would you feel if a potential spouse did a background check on you?

                Originally posted by Tahiyah View Post
                do you think it would be wrong to ask him to have an aids test or STD test done? lol.. wow... somehow this kills the romance before it starts
                I'd strongly suggest not to ask directly..

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                • #9
                  Re: How would you feel if a potential spouse did a background check on you?

                  Originally posted by Tahiyah View Post
                  do you think it would be wrong to ask him to have an aids test or STD test done? lol.. wow... somehow this kills the romance before it starts
                  Yea thats gona be kinda hard. Rather than ask that...first you would have to be certain that they even had a past with someone
                  "The duty of the man who investigates the writings of scientists, if learning the truth is his goal, is to make himself an enemy of all that he reads, and,.. attack it from every side. He should also suspect himself as he performs his critical examination of it, so that he may avoid falling into either prejudice or leniency."
                  -Alhazen Ibn Al-Haythem

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: How would you feel if a potential spouse did a background check on you?

                    Originally posted by Tahiyah View Post
                    do you think it would be wrong to ask him to have an aids test or STD test done? lol.. wow... somehow this kills the romance before it starts
                    I don't see what would be wrong with asking. Some people keep that hidden, and you deserve to know. What would really kill the romance is if you catch something from him :/

                    To the original question no. With me being as forward as I generally am I would probably tell him I knew lol

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                    • #11
                      Re: How would you feel if a potential spouse did a background check on you?

                      Considering how some men are today, I'd ask her to do a background check regardless. Problem is, would it matter what I've done in my non-practicing days? (No, haven't committed zina and Insha'Allah never will)

                      Because reverts don't get looked at for their past (and the shouldn't be) but whenever a born Mulsim changes it's not always the same reaction. Would the things I have done in my days before Islam matter?
                      Last edited by |Abdur Raheem|; 06-08-14, 05:30 AM.
                      [SIZE=4][COLOR="#FF0000"][FONT=Book Antiqua][CENTER][B][URL="http://www.ummah.com/forum/showthread.php?459504-Immensely-rewarding-dhikr!!!&highlight="]IMMENSELY REWARDING DHIKR!!![/URL][/B][/CENTER][/FONT][/COLOR][/SIZE]

                      [FONT=Book Antiqua][SIZE=4][COLOR="#2F4F4F"][CENTER]Before you post, think..."Will this help me when I stand before Allah?" If it doesn't, then you're wasting time....[/CENTER][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT]

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                      • #12
                        Re: How would you feel if a potential spouse did a background check on you?

                        Guys u may laugh but seriously saudi Arabia studying a procedure to allow ppl who's going to marry to check the if the spouse has a criminal record or anything of that like that goes for both male and female
                        That comes after like 15 years of obligating the future spouces to go through blood test pre marriage

                        Thanks for the ppl in charge in ksa. We as citizens do appreciate it
                        How merciful Allah on me by giving me respite,and I persist in my sins and Allah shields me :crying2:

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                        • #13
                          Re: How would you feel if a potential spouse did a background check on you?

                          in the usa in some states it was mandatory to have an STD test done prior to obtaining a marriage license, but i dont think that exists anymore

                          and really if he can do a background check on you, then why cant u ask him to do a std check..if he said he has none, you still might want to know for sure, just like he wanted to know for sure you have no criminal background, but checked you out anyhow. i understand it all...its all fair and good... just cant help but feeling it kinda does something to the lovey dovey feeling of getting married... maybe i am wrong..

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Re: How would you feel if a potential spouse did a background check on you?

                            Originally posted by myeverything View Post
                            Guys u may laugh but seriously saudi Arabia studying a procedure to allow ppl who's going to marry to check the if the spouse has a criminal record or anything of that like that goes for both male and female
                            That comes after like 15 years of obligating the future spouces to go through blood test pre marriage

                            Thanks for the ppl in charge in ksa. We as citizens do appreciate it


                            if i were getting married in saudi id appreciate all those background checks and blood tests.. lol (jking sis)

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Re: How would you feel if a potential spouse did a background check on you?

                              What defines a "background check?" Asking relatives about them? Criminal record?
                              www.treasureofthescholars.wordpress.com

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