Ads by Muslim Ad Network

Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

How do Converts deal with Intercultural and Interfaith engagements/marriages?

Collapse
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • How do Converts deal with Intercultural and Interfaith engagements/marriages?

    Salaam Brothers and Sisters,

    I have been a Muslim now for about two years, Alhamdulllilah, and I met this brother online. We plan to meet very soon Inshallah and my brother (relative) will be present when I meet him. We live in different states in the U.S. and our family backgrounds are very different. His family is Muslim and lives mostly in Palestine, Jordan, and UAE. My family is mostly Roman Catholic and lives in the US and Mexico. There are cultural and language barriers already set up and this is what creates some anxiety in me.

    This Palestinian brother's family have been urging him to get married for a while now but he had not met anybody he was interested in. When he told them about me they were excited for him and he said I shouldn't worry about them not liking me because his brother married an American Christian and they were fine with her. But my family might not feel the same way, mostly because they believe in cultural customs of dating for a few years before getting married. I really have no clue about how I'm going to go about this. I have thrown subtle hints at my family about my proposed marriage because I don't want them to get scared if we decide to go through with it after meeting. I am planning to get in contact with an imam soon Inshallah because I also need help finding a wali.

    Inshallah I hope that this meeting will be peaceful and successful. Do you think it will get difficult down the road? How should I go about this? If you have any suggestions as to our proposed marriage please share them. No need for rude or hurtful comments, please be mature and constructive. Thank you, Peace and Blessings :)
    Last edited by MissesDee; 06-08-14, 05:25 AM. Reason: Not enough Information

  • #2
    Re: How do Converts deal with Intercultural and Interfaith engagements/marriages?

    وسلام اختي
    What are your family's opinions on your reversion to Islam? If they are fine with it you could just explain to them that in Islam dating is not permitted.
    Me and my fiance are of different ethncities so we know that problems are bound to arise. So, there'll just be a simple nikah ceremony and small walima celebration with family and close friends. This may be an option for you as you stated that most of his family lives in Palestine and other parts of the Middle East. I advise not to go too extravagant on the walima and instead, spend on the honeymoon or something..

    I think it will definitely be dificult, every marriage has difficulties. Have your first meeting with him, if you feel that the conversation flows well and you are both attracted to eachother, you should go ahead with the marriage. Also, insure that he is a religious man as I feel religious men will treat their wives well.

    Inshallah everything works out well for you sister :)
    سلام

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: How do Converts deal with Intercultural and Interfaith engagements/marriages?

      At first it was a bit rocky but now they are fine with my conversion. I will try to explain it to them Inshallah but I just hope they don't freak out or get too intense since it is a big life decision. We were thinking of also having a small ceremony since most of our relatives live outside of the United States. Thank you for the suggestion though, I will have to search more about Islamic weddings as I'm still unfamiliar with them Inshallah.

      Inshallah I hope there is chemistry and you're right every marriage has difficulties. I hope he is a righteous man as well.

      Thank you for your advise sister :)

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: How do Converts deal with Intercultural and Interfaith engagements/marriages?

        my wife is a convert and the truth is really its how you two are that matters most. so in your reply above I would say make sure he is a righteous man etc

        That said there is good and bad, just make sure the people that matter are involved and informed and anyone else can jump if they don't like it

        The worst thing for you as a revert in my experience wont be his side disliking you but may overwhelm you by trying to be too helpful in everything

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: How do Converts deal with Intercultural and Interfaith engagements/marriages?

          I can tell you sister that marriage between you and your future husband (inshalla) will not be much different than any marriage.
          It's success will in large part be determine by the bond between the two of you.
          There will be many hiccups but getting through them will require a deeper understanding between the two of you, specially in dealing with the many challenges that will arise from both families
          trying to impose their influence.
          God will not forsake those upholding his religion.

          :lahawla:

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: How do Converts deal with Intercultural and Interfaith engagements/marriages?

            Originally posted by nonameakhi View Post
            my wife is a convert and the truth is really its how you two are that matters most. so in your reply above I would say make sure he is a righteous man etc

            That said there is good and bad, just make sure the people that matter are involved and informed and anyone else can jump if they don't like it

            The worst thing for you as a revert in my experience wont be his side disliking you but may overwhelm you by trying to be too helpful in everything
            Thank you for your advise brother, I had not really thought of involving my family too much in my decision but they should also be able to say if he is a good fit for me or not. Being too helpful is a good think right lol? I hope...

            Peace and Blessings to you and your wife :)

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: How do Converts deal with Intercultural and Interfaith engagements/marriages?

              Originally posted by a mu-min View Post
              I can tell you sister that marriage between you and your future husband (inshalla) will not be much different than any marriage.
              It's success will in large part be determine by the bond between the two of you.
              There will be many hiccups but getting through them will require a deeper understanding between the two of you, specially in dealing with the many challenges that will arise from both families
              trying to impose their influence.
              I hope that we can have a successful marriage Inshallah if we decide to go through with it. Thank you for your input brother and advise, I hope our families will not to try to impose on us too much unless it is to enjoin good.

              Peace and Blessings

              Comment

              Working...
              X