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What are the Pros and Cons of western muslimah marrying back home

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  • What are the Pros and Cons of western muslimah marrying back home

    What possible issues could arise if a muslimah from west marries someone from non-west countries.

    SHE WILL MOVE TO HIS COUNTRY RATHER THAN HIM COMING HERE NOR SHES LOOKING TO GET THEM PAPERS

    ps: back home could be Africa, middle east, india etc

    :salams

    ps: this thread isnt necessarily about me, so pls keep it general :1peace:
    Last edited by Ansaariyah; 02-08-14, 01:04 AM.

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  • #2
    What are the Pros and Cons of western muslimah marrying back home

    no nhs
    They say good things come to those who wait, so imma be at least an hour late

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    • #3
      Re: What are the Pros and Cons of western muslimah marrying back home

      Originally posted by Ansaariyah View Post
      What possible issues could arise if a muslimah from west marries someone from non-west countries.

      SHE WILL MOVE TO HIS COUNTRY RATHER THAN HIM COMING HERE NOR SHES LOOKING TO GET THEM PAPERS

      ps: back home could be Africa, middle east, india etc

      :salams
      not a good choice if the guy isn't earning good salary, n by good i mean real good.

      plus moving to a kuffar land is STUPIDITY!
      if the guy from back home wants to move to Gulf then that's a different story.

      but having lived back home I won't recommend it unless you move to Islamic country

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      • #4
        Re: What are the Pros and Cons of western muslimah marrying back home

        Potentially, a lot. She would, I assume, have been raised in a secular society, despite having an Islamic home-life, while the potential husband will have grown up in a stricter society, in which women are viewed differently than in the west. But if there is compromise, there should be no issues between them that a married couple grown up in the west or "back home" as you call it, would encounter.

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        • #5
          Re: What are the Pros and Cons of western muslimah marrying back home

          It is better for a brother to marry back home cuz the sister could be more suitable for marriage than the beans and toast cooking for lunch sisters in the west.

          For a sister i see no reason to tbh, there are plenty of good brothers in the west. As a sister it is a bit risky being vulnerable n'all plus its very hard to see the sincerity of the potential who will be wanting to eventually come to the west even though you might not want to.

          Either way may Allah swt grant you a beautiful,sincere and a loving spouse. Ameen
          Believe none of what you hear, and only half of what you see.

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          • #6
            Re: What are the Pros and Cons of western muslimah marrying back home

            Originally posted by InTheBegining View Post
            It is better for a brother to marry back home cuz the sister could be more suitable for marriage than the beans and toast cooking for lunch sisters in the west.

            For a sister i see no reason to tbh, there are plenty of good brothers in the west. As a sister it is a bit risky being vulnerable n'all plus its very hard to see the sincerity of the potential who will be wanting to eventually come to the west even though you might not want to.

            Either way may Allah swt grant you a beautiful,sincere and a loving spouse. Ameen
            This worries me more than if she's impure. Imagine coming home from work only to find you're having baked potato for dinner. If I wanted a Sally I wouldn't have married a Salma.

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            • #7
              Re: What are the Pros and Cons of western muslimah marrying back home

              EDIT:

              Oh wait your going back home.

              Then its all good. I think the marriage will be fine. In Shaa Allah.

              Just keep in mind about the culture there. Example would be as I mentioned in this post before editing it, if he doesn't like it that you have non-Mahram guy friends then dont talk with them, Also if in that culture its not common for women to have careers and he prefers you to stay at home dont push it because that will also cause friction on the marriage.

              point and case, dont expect to be the same way as you were in your other country because the culture may be very different and he (your husband) won't be used to it and/or may not like it.
              Last edited by ss91; 01-08-14, 06:46 PM.
              "The duty of the man who investigates the writings of scientists, if learning the truth is his goal, is to make himself an enemy of all that he reads, and,.. attack it from every side. He should also suspect himself as he performs his critical examination of it, so that he may avoid falling into either prejudice or leniency."
              -Alhazen Ibn Al-Haythem

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              • #8
                Re: What are the Pros and Cons of western muslimah marrying back home

                this sounds like a cliche but he could be using you for a visa lol

                and the whole culture clash thing, can see how it would be difficult to get along when you come from two completely sets of background, cultures, ways of doing things, trains of thoughts.
                Abu Malik at-Ash'ari reported:

                The Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said: Cleanliness is half of faith

                and al-Hamdu Lillah (all praise and gratitude is for Allah alone) fills the scale, and Subhan Allah (Glory be to Allah)

                and al-Hamdu Lillah fill up what is between the heavens and the earth, and prayer is a light,

                and charity is proof (of one's faith)

                and endurance is a brightness and the Holy Qur'an is a proof on your behalf or against you.

                All men go out early in the morning and sell themselves, thereby setting themselves free or destroying themselves.



                حَدَّثَنَا إِسْحَاقُ بْنُ مَنْصُورٍ، حَدَّثَنَا حَبَّانُ بْنُ هِلاَلٍ، حَدَّثَنَا أَبَانٌ، حَدَّثَنَا يَحْيَى، أَنَّ زَيْدًا، حَدَّثَهُ أَنَّ أَبَا سَلاَّمٍ حَدَّثَهُ عَنْ أَبِي مَالِكٍ الأَشْعَرِيِّ، قَالَ قَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم ‏ "‏ الطُّهُورُ شَطْرُ الإِيمَانِ وَالْحَمْدُ لِلَّهِ تَمْلأُ الْمِيزَانَ ‏.‏ وَسُبْحَانَ اللَّهِ وَالْحَمْدُ لِلَّهِ تَمْلآنِ - أَوْ تَمْلأُ - مَا بَيْنَ السَّمَوَاتِ وَالأَرْضِ وَالصَّلاَةُ نُورٌ وَالصَّدَقَةُ بُرْهَانٌ وَالصَّبْرُ ضِيَاءٌ وَالْقُرْآنُ حُجَّةٌ لَكَ أَوْ عَلَيْكَ كُلُّ النَّاسِ يَغْدُو فَبَائِعٌ نَفْسَهُ فَمُعْتِقُهَا أَوْ مُوبِقُهَا ‏"‏ ‏.‏

                Reference : Sahih Muslim 223
                In-book reference : Book 2, Hadith 1
                USC-MSA web (English) reference : Book 2, Hadith 432
                (deprecated numbering scheme)

                أَلَمْ تَرَوْا أَنَّ اللَّهَ سَخَّرَ لَكُم مَّا فِي السَّمَاوَاتِ وَمَا فِي الْأَرْضِ وَأَسْبَغَ عَلَيْكُمْ نِعَمَهُ ظَاهِرَةً وَبَاطِنَةً ۗ وَمِنَ النَّاسِ مَن يُجَادِلُ فِي اللَّهِ بِغَيْرِ عِلْمٍ وَلَا هُدًى وَلَا كِتَابٍ مُّنِيرٍ - 31:20

                Do you not see that Allah has made subject to you whatever is in the heavens and whatever is in the earth and amply bestowed upon you His favors, [both] apparent and unapparent? But of the people is he who disputes about Allah without knowledge or guidance or an enlightening Book [from Him].


                Please take a look at my blog : http://thinkingmuslima.blogspot.co.uk/

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                • #9
                  Re: What are the Pros and Cons of western muslimah marrying back home

                  Originally posted by Ansaariyah View Post
                  What possible issues could arise if a muslimah from west marries someone from non-west countries.

                  SHE WILL MOVE TO HIS COUNTRY RATHER THAN HIM COMING HERE NOR SHES LOOKING TO GET THEM PAPERS

                  ps: back home could be Africa, middle east, india etc

                  :salams
                  I think it would depend on how the guy is and where he lives. Maybe he lives in a part of the Muslim world that's very depraved, and his earnings are haram, and he's not kind to his wife. That situation would be awful for a devout muslimah. If the sister in question herself loves badboys, then it would be perfect for her.

                  I don't think we can do a one-size fits all description of the situation. People have to be look at as individuals, and countries can't be seen as homogenous regions. There are parts that are very good within those countries, and parts that aren't so great.

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                  • #10
                    Originally posted by LailaTheMuslim View Post
                    this sounds like a cliche but he could be using you for a visa lol

                    and the whole culture clash thing, can see how it would be difficult to get along when you come from two completely sets of background, cultures, ways of doing things, trains of thoughts.
                    It can't be that cuz she wants to move back home.
                    They say good things come to those who wait, so imma be at least an hour late

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Re: What are the Pros and Cons of western muslimah marrying back home

                      pros - if he is well off then yiou aint gonna be lifiting a finger around the place missy. you'll be sitting around like a memsahib having your food made, your tea made, clothes washed, ironed, ........nice
                      well actually you might get bored with all that

                      cons - communication problem, miss famiy,

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                      • #12
                        Re: What are the Pros and Cons of western muslimah marrying back home

                        it really depends on what the sister is like. I know some who are very cultural, married their relative and managed ok even though big hassle for her to work and apply for his visa.

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                        • #13
                          Re: What are the Pros and Cons of western muslimah marrying back home

                          Will be difficult to adjust to new non western lifestyle, western women are too spoilt, so are the men. ya happy.

                          The mosquitos, plus the boiling hot temperature minimises you going outdoors.

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                          • #14
                            Re: What are the Pros and Cons of western muslimah marrying back home

                            Originally posted by Muslima London View Post
                            pros - if he is well off then yiou aint gonna be lifiting a finger around the place missy. you'll be sitting around like a memsahib having your food made, your tea made, clothes washed, ironed, ........nice
                            well actually you might get bored with all that

                            cons - communication problem, miss famiy,
                            that is a lazy lifestyle. I feel sorry for those that clean up after such lazy people

                            Even I would not get a servant if I was back home
                            Ya Muqallib Al-Quloob Thabbit Qalbi Alaa Deenik
                            ( O changer of hearts, keep my heart steadfast on your deen)

                            www.treasureofthescholars.wordpress.com

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                            • #15
                              Re: What are the Pros and Cons of western muslimah marrying back home

                              would you prefer ur mexican man woman from lets say america who was raised on taco bell versus someone from mexico who makes the real deal?

                              a chinese person raised in america and used to eating panda express versus a chinese person from back home

                              then again. this is just food anyone hungry?

                              anywho. i think the best person to answer this is someone who did marry someone from back home. one thing u like in the man from back home u might dislike in the man in ur home country.. u might be more comfortable with someone from ur area and u could easily feel more omfortable with someone from back home bringing u back to ur roots.. interesting
                              Raindrops.hail.ouch

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