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Separate Accomodation for wife

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  • Separate Accomodation for wife

    Here is a situation. What do you people think would be best in such circumstances:

    A sister is married for a year and a half. She has an infant daughter and a loving husband. There are four people living in the same house. The husband, the wife, their daughter and husband's mother. Now Husband's mother is never satisfied with her daughter in law. She finds reasons to ridicule her and her family, curses her, suspects her, asks her husband to hit her or divorce her, backbites about her from her husband and is always comparing her to other people's wives (which obviously gives her husband an impression that he is unlucky to have her as a wife). The rows between mother and daughter in law creates tension in the family. No matter how much this sister tries to keep herself away from argument there is always one emerging from time to time. This is also effecting her relationship with her husband and the shouting and cursing is putting a bad impression on the daughter. She however wants to keep her husband happy and is very exhausted from trying to do so but her husband is always dissatisfied due to his mother's brainwashing.

    This sister just wants a peaceful loving home.Can she demand separate accommodation for herself? What if the husband is not able to afford it? Secondly if they move out who is going to take care of the husband's mom?

    What will be best in such a situation in your opinion?

  • #2
    Re: Separate Accomodation for wife

    This is a serious problem within the Pakistani community and South Asian in General. There needs to be more awareness of this and talk about this

    I hear many stories of mother in laws treating their daughter in laws like slaves and the husband does nothing as he is stuck in the middle and are usually spineless men

    Islamically you are entitled to separate accommodation. It is your right even if it is a small place

    It is not like the mother cannot take care of herself. It is the husbands responsibility. If she is disabled, husband still has to do it and other family. You can help if you want but islamically your duties are to husband not his family.
    Last edited by firestar101; 13-07-14, 12:58 PM.
    Ya Muqallib Al-Quloob Thabbit Qalbi Alaa Deenik
    ( O changer of hearts, keep my heart steadfast on your deen)

    www.treasureofthescholars.wordpress.com

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    • #3
      Re: Separate Accomodation for wife

      Salam.

      Of course she has rights and isn't obliged to his mother. The guys responsible for his parents, as the girl is for hers and either helping one another parents is good on them.

      If the guy is that loving as your claiming then why is he being brainwashed by his mother? Why isn't he speaking to his wife about these concerns or sitting with both his mother and wife and making sure this gets resolved?

      I feel for the sister my best advice is she speaks to her husband about this to get it resolved asap if she's done this and nothing changed then she should go to her parents house (if there near by) for a few days may teach the husband a lesson.

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      • #4
        Re: Separate Accomodation for wife

        Sounds like a Paki drama
        How dare they challenge me with their primitive skills? They're just as good as dead

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        • #5
          Re: Separate Accomodation for wife

          Theres always two sides to the story so any response you get is entirely based on your perspective. Based on what you said she is obviously not married to a loving husband.

          She needs to make sincere dua and communicate with her husband. And then let the husband deal with his mother in a polite manner.

          I have never witnessed issues with the inlaws where the husband is God fearing, sensible, mature adult.

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          • #6
            Re: Separate Accomodation for wife

            Originally posted by Talwaar View Post
            Sounds like a Paki drama
            OOOO kuchi tum kya kehti Pakis k baare main.....

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: Separate Accomodation for wife

              Talwar is pukhton?

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: Separate Accomodation for wife

                Originally posted by Living Destiny View Post
                Talwar is pukhton?
                :rotfl:

                humko nai maaluum behen...

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                • #9
                  Re: Separate Accomodation for wife

                  Originally posted by Revertbrother View Post
                  :rotfl:

                  humko nai maaluum behen...
                  Kha kana da dora zan wali mray pa har yawa khabara. :) liwanay ye ka sa?

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                  • #10
                    Re: Separate Accomodation for wife

                    Originally posted by Living Destiny View Post
                    Kha kana da dora zan wali mray pa har yawa khabara. :) liwanay ye ka sa?


                    liwanay ye ka sa?

                    ok ok sa... ;)
                    Last edited by Revertbrother; 13-07-14, 03:53 PM. Reason: just irritated a Pushto sis.

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                    • #11
                      Re: Separate Accomodation for wife

                      Sorry sister for the useless posts in your thread.

                      I hope inshallah you get responses that may help your friend. Its ramadan...ask to make lots of dua before suhoor.

                      Have good expectations from Allah and HE will exceed your expectations.

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                      • #12
                        Re: Separate Accomodation for wife

                        YES! Its within her right to ask for her own place. she ideally should have asked for all of this before marriage but obviously in pakistan you sometimes don't get the freedom to make demands beforehand.

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                        • #13
                          Re: Separate Accomodation for wife

                          Originally posted by firestar101 View Post
                          This is a serious problem within the Pakistani community and South Asian in General. There needs to be more awareness of this and talk about this

                          I hear many stories of mother in laws treating their daughter in laws like slaves and the husband does nothing as he is stuck in the middle and are usually spineless men
                          .
                          i know riiiight, pakistani mother-in-laws are just.... smh

                          and a lot of them use the excuse 'well my MIL was horrible towards me' - surely this should be more of a reason NOT to treat your DIL this way!

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Re: Separate Accomodation for wife

                            Oy! Serouslyl this is riducli why are people under the impression that duty to the parents includes living with them? Unless they were very old and couldn't do so themselves anymore.
                            Allah sent down his tranquillity upon him and supported him with angels you did not see and made the word of those who disbelieved the lowest, while the word of Allah - that is the highest. And Allah is Exalted in Might and Wise.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Re: Separate Accomodation for wife

                              Originally posted by Asma28 View Post
                              i know riiiight, pakistani mother-in-laws are just.... smh

                              and a lot of them use the excuse 'well my MIL was horrible towards me' - surely this should be more of a reason NOT to treat your DIL this way!
                              They probably see it as "that woman mistreated me for no reason, at least I have a reason !"
                              Allah sent down his tranquillity upon him and supported him with angels you did not see and made the word of those who disbelieved the lowest, while the word of Allah - that is the highest. And Allah is Exalted in Might and Wise.

                              Comment

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