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What do divorced people look for?

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  • What do divorced people look for?

    What do they look for, or looked for the second time round?

  • #2
    Re: What do divorced people look for?

    A husband?

    A nice one.
    وَالْعَصْرِ

    إِنَّ الْإِنسَانَ لَفِي خُسْرٍ

    إِلَّا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا وَعَمِلُوا الصَّالِحَاتِ وَتَوَاصَوْا بِالْحَقِّ وَتَوَاصَوْا بِالصَّبْرِ

    "If Allah (swt) only sent this Surah to us, for the guidance of Mankind, this will be enough for usĒ - Imam Shaafi'ee r.a.

    "Yeh dunya daar e faani hain, Tum apna dil mat lagaon, Ganimat samaj zinadagee ki bahar, aana na hoga, yahaa baar baar......"

    Khanqah Habibiyah

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: What do divorced people look for?

      It depends on if they have kids or not. If the woman has a child or children, she will be looking for someone who does not have a problem with that and someone that can provide for them. If the woman is childless however, then there is no real difference between her and a single person. It would all be down to preference at that point.

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: What do divorced people look for?

        Originally posted by bismillaah View Post
        What do they look for, or looked for the second time round?
        same as the first time :) good character and practice of deen.
        "O you who believe! Stand out firmly for justice, as witnesses to Allah, even as against yourselves, or your parents, or your kin, and whether it be (against) rich or poor: for Allah can best protect both. Follow not the lusts (of your hearts), lest you swerve, and if you distort (justice) or decline to do justice, verily Allah is well-acquainted with all that you do." [An-Nisa 4:135]

        The Prophet :saw: said:

        "Whosoever leaves off obedience and separates from the Jamaa'ah and dies, he dies a death of jaahiliyyah. Whoever fights under the banner of the blind, becoming angry for 'asabiyyah (nationalism/tribalism/partisanship) or calling to 'asabiyyah, or assisting 'asabiyyah, then dies, he dies a death of jaahiliyyah."

        muslim

        Narrated 'Abdullah:

        The Prophet, said, "Abusing a Muslim is Fusuq (evil doing) and killing him is Kufr (disbelief)." sahih bukhari


        "Creeping upon you is the diseases of those people before you: envy and hatred. And hatred is the thing that shaves. I do not say it shaves the hair but it shaves the religion!

        By the One in whose Hand is my soul, you will not enter paradise until you believe, and you will not believe until you love one another. Certainly, let me inform you of that which may establish such things: spread the greetings and peace among yourselves."

        [Recorded by Imam Ahmad and Al-Tirmidhi]

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: What do divorced people look for?

          Someone who says yes.
          "We cast the truth against the falsehood, so that it breaks its head, and lo! it vanishes; and woe to you for what you describe." Qur'an 21:18

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: What do divorced people look for?

            someone who is nothing like the first one loool

            good character, deen, preferably someone who is similarly divorced / has children etc.
            puts you in an equal balance
            Ibnul Qayyim رحمه الله said: "Donít ruin your happiness with worry, and donít ruin your mind with pessimism. Donít ruin your success with deception and donít ruin the optimism of others by destroying it. Donít ruin your day by looking back at yesterday.
            __________________________________________________ _____________________________
            If you think about your situation, you will find that Allaah (سبحانه وتعالى) has given you things without asking, so have trust in Allaah (سبحانه وتعالى) that He doesnít prevent anything you want except there is goodness for you.

            You could be sleeping and the doors of the heavens are being opened with duaías being made on your behalf, SubhanAllaah: perhaps from someone poor whom you helped, or someone sad whom you brought joy, or someone passing by and you smiled at him, or someone in distress and you removed it.. so donít ever underestimate any good deeds."



            please donate to the Ummah forum sadaqa jariya project. Click on the link for for more information, and to make a donation- https://www.justgiving.com/sadaqah-jariyah-project/

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: What do divorced people look for?

              Originally posted by Muslima London View Post
              someone who is nothing like the first one loool

              good character, deen, preferably someone who is similarly divorced / has children etc.
              puts you in an equal balance
              Allahu alam is not the leveller of balance between a couple the deen. it worked for the prophet :saw: and Khadijah radiAllahu anha (twice married beforw and 15 years older than him) Jabbir (never married before) and his previously married older wife :) lot of example in the sunnah and today amongst muslims of sucessful marriages of what might be deemed at first glance "incompatible" couples
              "O you who believe! Stand out firmly for justice, as witnesses to Allah, even as against yourselves, or your parents, or your kin, and whether it be (against) rich or poor: for Allah can best protect both. Follow not the lusts (of your hearts), lest you swerve, and if you distort (justice) or decline to do justice, verily Allah is well-acquainted with all that you do." [An-Nisa 4:135]

              The Prophet :saw: said:

              "Whosoever leaves off obedience and separates from the Jamaa'ah and dies, he dies a death of jaahiliyyah. Whoever fights under the banner of the blind, becoming angry for 'asabiyyah (nationalism/tribalism/partisanship) or calling to 'asabiyyah, or assisting 'asabiyyah, then dies, he dies a death of jaahiliyyah."

              muslim

              Narrated 'Abdullah:

              The Prophet, said, "Abusing a Muslim is Fusuq (evil doing) and killing him is Kufr (disbelief)." sahih bukhari


              "Creeping upon you is the diseases of those people before you: envy and hatred. And hatred is the thing that shaves. I do not say it shaves the hair but it shaves the religion!

              By the One in whose Hand is my soul, you will not enter paradise until you believe, and you will not believe until you love one another. Certainly, let me inform you of that which may establish such things: spread the greetings and peace among yourselves."

              [Recorded by Imam Ahmad and Al-Tirmidhi]

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: What do divorced people look for?

                Originally posted by *asiya* View Post
                Allahu alam is not the leveller of balance between a couple the deen. it worked for the prophet :saw: and Khadijah radiAllahu anha (twice married beforw and 15 years older than him) Jabbir (never married before) and his previously married older wife :) lot of example in the sunnah and today amongst muslims of sucessful marriages of what might be deemed at first glance "incompatible" couples
                your right sis,
                alhamdulillah there are many examples in the sunnah where marriages have defied age, race and class
                Ibnul Qayyim رحمه الله said: "Donít ruin your happiness with worry, and donít ruin your mind with pessimism. Donít ruin your success with deception and donít ruin the optimism of others by destroying it. Donít ruin your day by looking back at yesterday.
                __________________________________________________ _____________________________
                If you think about your situation, you will find that Allaah (سبحانه وتعالى) has given you things without asking, so have trust in Allaah (سبحانه وتعالى) that He doesnít prevent anything you want except there is goodness for you.

                You could be sleeping and the doors of the heavens are being opened with duaías being made on your behalf, SubhanAllaah: perhaps from someone poor whom you helped, or someone sad whom you brought joy, or someone passing by and you smiled at him, or someone in distress and you removed it.. so donít ever underestimate any good deeds."



                please donate to the Ummah forum sadaqa jariya project. Click on the link for for more information, and to make a donation- https://www.justgiving.com/sadaqah-jariyah-project/

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: What do divorced people look for?

                  Originally posted by Muslima London View Post
                  your right sis,
                  alhamdulillah there are many examples in the sunnah where marriages have defied age, race and class
                  which means all the more fish in the sea alhamdulillah :)
                  "O you who believe! Stand out firmly for justice, as witnesses to Allah, even as against yourselves, or your parents, or your kin, and whether it be (against) rich or poor: for Allah can best protect both. Follow not the lusts (of your hearts), lest you swerve, and if you distort (justice) or decline to do justice, verily Allah is well-acquainted with all that you do." [An-Nisa 4:135]

                  The Prophet :saw: said:

                  "Whosoever leaves off obedience and separates from the Jamaa'ah and dies, he dies a death of jaahiliyyah. Whoever fights under the banner of the blind, becoming angry for 'asabiyyah (nationalism/tribalism/partisanship) or calling to 'asabiyyah, or assisting 'asabiyyah, then dies, he dies a death of jaahiliyyah."

                  muslim

                  Narrated 'Abdullah:

                  The Prophet, said, "Abusing a Muslim is Fusuq (evil doing) and killing him is Kufr (disbelief)." sahih bukhari


                  "Creeping upon you is the diseases of those people before you: envy and hatred. And hatred is the thing that shaves. I do not say it shaves the hair but it shaves the religion!

                  By the One in whose Hand is my soul, you will not enter paradise until you believe, and you will not believe until you love one another. Certainly, let me inform you of that which may establish such things: spread the greetings and peace among yourselves."

                  [Recorded by Imam Ahmad and Al-Tirmidhi]

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: What do divorced people look for?

                    Originally posted by *asiya* View Post
                    which means all the more fish in the sea alhamdulillah :)

                    :)
                    Ibnul Qayyim رحمه الله said: "Donít ruin your happiness with worry, and donít ruin your mind with pessimism. Donít ruin your success with deception and donít ruin the optimism of others by destroying it. Donít ruin your day by looking back at yesterday.
                    __________________________________________________ _____________________________
                    If you think about your situation, you will find that Allaah (سبحانه وتعالى) has given you things without asking, so have trust in Allaah (سبحانه وتعالى) that He doesnít prevent anything you want except there is goodness for you.

                    You could be sleeping and the doors of the heavens are being opened with duaías being made on your behalf, SubhanAllaah: perhaps from someone poor whom you helped, or someone sad whom you brought joy, or someone passing by and you smiled at him, or someone in distress and you removed it.. so donít ever underestimate any good deeds."



                    please donate to the Ummah forum sadaqa jariya project. Click on the link for for more information, and to make a donation- https://www.justgiving.com/sadaqah-jariyah-project/

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Re: What do divorced people look for?

                      :salams

                      Good deen and character, no cultural baggage, someone who would be a good father and husband are the main things really.

                      Such simple requests but seems so hard to find at times. :(

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Re: What do divorced people look for?

                        lol most likely less fussy the second time around and they know it will be harder for them to get married when people hear they have been divorced so probably just looking for anyone who will say yes

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Re: What do divorced people look for?

                          Originally posted by Asma28 View Post
                          lol most likely less fussy the second time around and they know it will be harder for them to get married when people hear they have been divorced so probably just looking for anyone who will say yes
                          I believe it would be quite the contrary. If anything, they probably have a better sense of who they want and know what red flags to look for that they may have possibly missed the first time.
                          Allah gave us two ears and one mouth, so we can listen more and talk less.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Re: What do divorced people look for?

                            Originally posted by Plumeria View Post
                            I believe it would be quite the contrary. If anything, they probably have a better sense of who they want and know what red flags to look for that they may have possibly missed the first time.
                            And people married before will know what specific things are more important for them better than one who is still looking to get married for the first time.
                            www.treasureofthescholars.wordpress.com

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