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  • Rista troubles

    Salaam everyone,

    There has been pressure for me to marry a girl that's to my family's liking. What I want and what my family want are two very different things. They keep on pressuring me to get married to this girl or that girl. They found one girl, she's a citizen, but wasn't born here. She's the least worse of the bunch they've picked. But I still don't want to marry her. I rather be alone and content than married and miserable. Some people in my family are in a panic, because I'm 29 and still single. They don't think I'll be able to get a good ristah if I research 30, and also, most of my younger cousins, and younger brother are also married.

    The cultural divide of marring someone not form here is difficult to accept. Whenever I think of the girl, I get sad. When I spoke to her, and I heard her thick accent speak back to me, it removed any attraction I had to her.

    Sometimes I think it is best to leave home. I've been saving money, for a ridiculously expensive wedding. That money could be used to start a life some place else. Alhumdulilah, I make a decent living. I think it's best for people like me to forget about marriage - which I could do if I wasn't home - and just focus on other things. I love to play sports and workout. I love to volunteer. I would say I love to hang out with my friends, but they're all married now. But I enjoy outdoor activities. It's plenty to do, outside of marriage. And quite honestly, I just don't desire women that way I used to when I was a teen. I'm not asexual, but I feel like that's where I'm headed.

  • #2
    Rista troubles

    It's better to save that money and when you do find a wife you want to marry you can buy a house. Dude. don't let your family rule your marriage, they aren't getting married. YOU ARE!

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    • #3
      Re: Rista troubles

      Be strong

      Man up

      Put your foot down.

      Being married is wonderful if you find the right person. Not all women want an expensive marriage, there are many that agree money is better spent elsewhere.

      You sound like you have a lot of hobbies, hopefully you'll find a wife who has the same interests :D

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      • #4
        Re: Rista troubles

        Ask your parents to find you someone that may interest you? Give them a description of what your looking for, like a girl following the deen, who's interested in sport, going out, etc. Then meet them and see you you like any of them. Marriage doesn't mean you'll be miserable, of course it comes with more responsibility, but it can also be a wonderful feeling if you find the right one. The marriage doesn't have to be that big or fancy neither.

        I'll tell you one thing, I've met plenty of guy/girls like you eventually they regret forgetting about marriage because they will eventually become lonely, as you are right now claiming your friends are all married etc.

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