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After introductions- how do things work?

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  • After introductions- how do things work?

    I have some questions regarding arranged marriage meetings and what usually happens after.

    When a family meets how often is the time before the parents contact each other again to discuss how it went and whether to take it further?

    Also I’m guessing its common to have various introductions within a short space of time even when you’re waiting on other families to get in touch following a meeting?

    My situation is that my parents are trying to arrange a marriage for me and a family visited us on monday.

    I felt it went quite well. The girl and I had some things in common (even went to the same school it turns out) and her sisters and parents were very nice people.

    They said we will get together again but this might not be for some time due to upcoming fasting.

    I actually suspect that they might not be interested due to differences in background so that was a polite way of saying no thank you. This is particularly because they hadn't yet discussed the meeting in private with each other so it seemed odd to say lets do it again before that.

    They also haven’t called to discuss anything with my parents.

    But as my sisters are younger and I’m the first to marry my parents and I are not sure how long these things are meant to take before you communicate again or should expect a communication.

    Also my sister has a strong involvement with the local mosque here in lancashire and she says there are some girls looking for introductions.

    Is it frowned upon to have further introductions at such times when a family may get in touch to say yes lets meet again?

    Can it also ruin opportunities as if those families hear you have been introduced to such and such girl in the meantime they might get the impression that you weren’t interested and that’s why you’re meeting other people?

    Thank you for any clarification you can give

  • #2
    Re: After introductions- how do things work?

    I'd advice you to wait. If they said they'll meet you guys after Ramadan then you should wait for that. After Ramadan wait a week or two and if they haven't gotten back to you perhaps ask your parents to get a hold of them to see what's happening.

    Meeting other potential right now will hurt your chances with the first one. How would you like it if you told someone to wait and they started to look at other potentials?

    If you want to look at other potential right now call them and tell them your not interested anymore.

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    • #3
      Re: After introductions- how do things work?

      You should know within a week.
      "We cast the truth against the falsehood, so that it breaks its head, and lo! it vanishes; and woe to you for what you describe." Qur'an 21:18

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      • #4
        Re: After introductions- how do things work?

        Originally posted by Winter View Post
        I'd advice you to wait. If they said they'll meet you guys after Ramadan then you should wait for that. After Ramadan wait a week or two and if they haven't gotten back to you perhaps ask your parents to get a hold of them to see what's happening.

        Meeting other potential right now will hurt your chances with the first one. How would you like it if you told someone to wait and they started to look at other potentials?

        If you want to look at other potential right now call them and tell them your not interested anymore.
        Thanks for your reply. I also want to wait and feel seeing others isn't right. I just wanted to know whether you usually wait to hear a reply or if it's common to see several people. But yes I think it's respectful to wait so thats the message my sister will give to them.


        Originally posted by Nulbreaker View Post
        You should know within a week.
        Thanks. A week would be today! But if thats the normal time then that will be useful for the future if this introduction doesn't work out.

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