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Regret marrying him...i wish i could turn back time

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  • Regret marrying him...i wish i could turn back time

    Hi i got married to a man i liked. Now my parents was never happy to let me get married to him they still are not happy. Seeing them not happy i feel really sad i dnt know what to do. Coz of this i feel like leaving my husband inreally shouldnt hve married him. I love my parents i wish i never hurt them. Plz anyone advise me on what to do. I did salatul istikhara then waited for Allah (swt) to show me the right path now i am married i dnt think it was a good idea coz i wake up with the guilt feeling every morning. I wish i could turn back time.

  • #2
    Re: Regret marrying him...i wish i could turn back time

    Originally posted by sheikh_ View Post
    Hi i got married to a man i liked. Now my parents was never happy to let me get married to him they still are not happy. Seeing them not happy i feel really sad i dnt know what to do. Coz of this i feel like leaving my husband inreally shouldnt hve married him. I love my parents i wish i never hurt them. Plz anyone advise me on what to do. I did salatul istikhara then waited for Allah (swt) to show me the right path now i am married i dnt think it was a good idea coz i wake up with the guilt feeling every morning. I wish i could turn back time.
    Is your Husband trying his utmost to practice the Deen/Islam?

    if he is, you both need to try and reconcile your relationship with your parents,

    I would advise brothers and sisters not to marry someone just because they fancy/like/become infatuated by them,

    Choose your spouse based on their practice of the Deen and Good character as Rasulullah :saw: has told us, and try to please your parents as well,

    :jkk:
    http://www.ilovepalestine.com/campai...imesinGaza.gif

    "It does not befit the lion to answer the dogs."

    – Imam al-Shafi’i (Rahimahullah)

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    • #3
      Re: Regret marrying him...i wish i could turn back time

      Sorry but you made your bed now you need to lie in it

      You're not the only one, there are many people who are always caught between two feelings - what they want and what their parents want and they usually end up choosing what it is that they want. but you can't just have your fun and then several months down the line suddenly decide that NOW you're parents feelings come into the equation, its not fair on the spouse. You married him now, if hes not going against his religion or duties in any way then its ridiculous to want to divorce him just to make your parents happy.

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      • #4
        Re: Regret marrying him...i wish i could turn back time

        Originally posted by sheikh_ View Post
        Hi i got married to a man i liked. Now my parents was never happy to let me get married to him they still are not happy. Seeing them not happy i feel really sad i dnt know what to do. Coz of this i feel like leaving my husband inreally shouldnt hve married him. I love my parents i wish i never hurt them. Plz anyone advise me on what to do. I did salatul istikhara then waited for Allah (swt) to show me the right path now i am married i dnt think it was a good idea coz i wake up with the guilt feeling every morning. I wish i could turn back time.
        I don't see any negativity towards your husband in your post, so to me he seems like a nice guy and you like him and this is very important, their are relationships where the couple don't like each other but the parents are happy. I would personally prefer to be in your situation.

        Obviously the ideal situation would be that spouse and parents are both happy, nonetheless you have made a serious commitment and this is a sacred bound not to be taken lightly because you are feeling guilty because your parents aren't happy.

        Give them time and show them that you are happy, this is very important. Also why don't they like your spouse? If there's a specific reason than start working on making positive changes so your parents change their views inshallah. Be happy and be strong.

        Do not invest your hopes in anyone but Allah and do not fear anything but the consequences and repercussions of your sins!

        Uthmaan R.A

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        • #5
          Re: Regret marrying him...i wish i could turn back time

          You should not take decisions in haste and once you took a decision you should stick to it

          People who vacillate are not taken seriously by anybody

          I don't think your parents or your husband would appreciate you have other thoughts at this point of time

          Unless your husband is not treating you good, you should not regret your decision to marry him
          Not knowing what one doesn't know will lead to difficulty

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          • #6
            Re: Regret marrying him...i wish i could turn back time

            :salams

            You should try yo make you marriage work out. :insha:

            Marriage is not a joke that one can easily just think of leaving because of some guilt . All of these things should have been thought of before the marriage. however, now what's done is done, so work on making this a successful marriage and ask Allah for His help.

            Please, ignore these thoughts of guilt. Your parents will get over it after some time as well.
            Secure few moments, everyday, to reflect upon the innumerable blessings of Allah and thank Him for bestowing them upon you.

            "A person who is blessed with the ability to be grateful, shall never be deprived of barakah and increase in blessings."
            - Rasulullah (صلی اللہ علیہ وسلم)‎

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            • #7
              Re: Regret marrying him...i wish i could turn back time

              You have to decide whether it's more important to be their daughter or be his wife.
              Last edited by Musbah; 23-06-14, 12:59 AM.
              "When a man sees the road as long he weakens in his walk." Ibn Qayyim

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: Regret marrying him...i wish i could turn back time

                Originally posted by Musbah View Post
                You have to decide whether it's more important to be their daughter or be his husband.
                Sorry but LOL :rofl1:

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: Regret marrying him...i wish i could turn back time

                  Originally posted by sheikh_ View Post
                  Hi i got married to a man i liked. Now my parents was never happy to let me get married to him they still are not happy. Seeing them not happy i feel really sad i dnt know what to do. Coz of this i feel like leaving my husband inreally shouldnt hve married him. I love my parents i wish i never hurt them. Plz anyone advise me on what to do. I did salatul istikhara then waited for Allah (swt) to show me the right path now i am married i dnt think it was a good idea coz i wake up with the guilt feeling every morning. I wish i could turn back time.
                  This should help :

                  A woman came to ask the Prophet (SAW) about some matter, and when he had dealt with it, he asked her, “Do you have a husband?” She said, “Yes.” He asked her, “How are you with him?” She said, “I never fall short in my duties, except for that which is beyond me.” He said, “Pay attention to how you treat him, for he is your Paradise and your Hell.” Reported by Ahmad and al-Nisa'i with jayyid isnads, and by al-Hakim, who said that its isnad was sahih. See al-Mundhiri, Al-Targhib wa'l-Tarhib, 3/52, Kitab al-nikah.
                  In your scenario I'd pick my wife. Parents should want their child's happiness. If he makes you happy and does not fail in his duties to you then it is they that are in the wrong. Women are in hell because of their ingratitude to their husbands, not their parents.
                  Last edited by Nulbreaker; 22-06-14, 09:57 PM.
                  "We cast the truth against the falsehood, so that it breaks its head, and lo! it vanishes; and woe to you for what you describe." Qur'an 21:18

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: Regret marrying him...i wish i could turn back time

                    Originally posted by Musbah View Post
                    You have to decide whether it's more important to be their daughter or be his husband.
                    Exactly.
                    "We cast the truth against the falsehood, so that it breaks its head, and lo! it vanishes; and woe to you for what you describe." Qur'an 21:18

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Re: Regret marrying him...i wish i could turn back time

                      you feel tahe guilt because you love your parents and you realise that in marrying this guy you hurt them

                      that doesn't say a lot of things about this husband of yours, or this marriage.
                      just means that you are finding it hard to reconcile how ou treated your parents.

                      do try and build your relationship with them.
                      in sha allah things will get better between you all
                      Ibnul Qayyim رحمه الله said: "Don’t ruin your happiness with worry, and don’t ruin your mind with pessimism. Don’t ruin your success with deception and don’t ruin the optimism of others by destroying it. Don’t ruin your day by looking back at yesterday.
                      __________________________________________________ _____________________________
                      If you think about your situation, you will find that Allaah (سبحانه وتعالى) has given you things without asking, so have trust in Allaah (سبحانه وتعالى) that He doesn’t prevent anything you want except there is goodness for you.

                      You could be sleeping and the doors of the heavens are being opened with dua’as being made on your behalf, SubhanAllaah: perhaps from someone poor whom you helped, or someone sad whom you brought joy, or someone passing by and you smiled at him, or someone in distress and you removed it.. so don’t ever underestimate any good deeds."



                      please donate to the Ummah forum sadaqa jariya project. Click on the link for for more information, and to make a donation- https://www.justgiving.com/sadaqah-jariyah-project/

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                      • #12
                        Re: Regret marrying him...i wish i could turn back time

                        You married him, now you have to deal with it.

                        It appears people want to divorce over the most trivial of issues, especially if said issues are self-inflicted.

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                        • #13
                          Re: Regret marrying him...i wish i could turn back time

                          You're married. Your husband is your priority now and your parents need to eventually understand that. Whether they do or don't is not up to you. Treat them well and be kind but your husband is now first. You made that decision when you married.

                          However, don't let them insult your husband or talk bad about him. If they do say something end it straight away and let them know it is not their place to mix into. Else, when your marriage fails because you listened to them you'll come post here again asking for advice about your regret at divorce.
                          Falling over toys....

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Re: Regret marrying him...i wish i could turn back time

                            If they do not like him because of his lack in deen or you married him without your wali's permission, then I understand. Otherwise, they should be able to get over it. Keep your relations good with them and treat them well. Encourage your husband as well. Just make dua, this guilt is not a reason to end the marriage.
                            Nothing is impossible with Allah

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                            • #15
                              Re: Regret marrying him...i wish i could turn back time

                              This is abit immature!! You don't give ANY reason besides your family not liking your husband to leave your husband! Has he done you wrong? Is he a bad person, does he not care for you? You already went against your parents wishes- there is nothing you can do about it but you don't just end a marriage because you did something in haste! Especially if the husband isn't in the wrong. The best thing both you and your husband can do now is to slowly win over your parents heart. Show them love and kindness and honour them. Visit them often, take food for them, do things for hem. Ask your husband to make effort in sha Allah so that they can take back their initial judgement on your husband in sha Allah.
                              *~* Learn Patience from Aasiyah (RA); Loyalty from Khadhija (RA); Sincerity from Aisha (RA) and Steadfastness from Fatima (RA).*~*

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