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Muslim and white - why is it so hard to find a partner?

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  • Muslim and white - why is it so hard to find a partner?

    I have been thinking a lot, and trying to figure it out. I don't know what to do.
    I am no racist really, I love all people. I just can't imagine to marry outside my race (what caucasian that is). I would really want to change it, but failed miserably and now I give up. I can't do it. It is so hard to meet someone the same race, and most often we are not compatible for some reason, and here we go again. It's frustrating.
    Please don't judge me, I am who I am, and I can't lie and pretend that I can do something I cannot.
    I would just like to hear some advice if you have any, without being judgemental...

  • #2
    Re: Muslim and white - why is it so hard to find a partner?

    racism or preference ...

    the age old question on UF .... hmm



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    • #3
      Re: Muslim and white - why is it so hard to find a partner?

      I wouldn't like to discuss the question and develop a whole discussion on whether I am a racist, or my preference is alright. I would just like some piece of advice like - what should I do, and the like..

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: Muslim and white - why is it so hard to find a partner?

        just wait and keep making dua.

        or

        open up to other races.

        those are your two real options.

        just remember that white sisters severely outnumber white brothers (if the 3:1 ratio is correct for converts, i am not 100% sure if its accurate but it does seem there are more convert sisters than brothers as well as more born Muslim sisters practicing than brothers).

        of course you can't change your rizk so dont stress out about this but as Muslims we also have to use our mind. e.g. the sahaba didn't just say they will win in jihad because of rizk but they planned and prepared, they built trenches or took over the water well to gain the upper hand; superior strategy. this shows we must be smart as Muslims as well as Trust Allah the whole time,

        so being smart here means realizing that there is more brothers to chose from if you open up your options and that is called "using the means" which Allah has left for us in the dunya, meanwhile you place your trust in Allah completely. so do not have anxiety or stress because you cannot change your rizk. your rizk is in the sky, it comes from Allah and its unchangeable. (the effort you are putting in is not because you are trying to change rizk but because the effort is included in the word tawakkul which means to trust Allah whilst doing your best.)
        Last edited by عبد المنعم; 22-06-14, 12:00 PM.
        70 scholars issued fatawas that Imam Ahmad b. Hanbal should be executed! That was the popular opinion back then, don't be fooled by popular opinion today! - Ahmad Musa jibreel


        Tawheed Series - click

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        • #5
          Re: Muslim and white - why is it so hard to find a partner?

          Non-White Muslims mainly marry into their own race and culture as well, only a few marry outside. All you can do is keep looking. Have you tried looking at other white countries?
          [B][COLOR="#008000"]Hum to tere Aashiq hai sadiyo puraane[/COLOR][/B]

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          • #6
            Re: Muslim and white - why is it so hard to find a partner?

            This is not racist at all, it's a preferance :up:

            The only thing I can suggest is maybe attend some Islamic charity events, you'll not only meet good hearted genuine Muslims you'll bond with other Muslim sisters and from there who knows you may even meet a nice Muslim man of your liking.

            Or you can try Matrimonial sites....:up:
            He who loses money, loses much.

            He who loses a friend, loses more.

            He who loses faith, loses ALL.

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            • #7
              Re: Muslim and white - why is it so hard to find a partner?

              Originally posted by Jade Vine View Post
              I wouldn't like to discuss the question and develop a whole discussion on whether I am a racist, or my preference is alright. I would just like some piece of advice like - what should I do, and the like..
              You don't have to explain yourself to anybody sister. I am a white revert and I know how hard it can be to find the right person that you are looking for. Everybody has their preference as to what type of bread they like. Some like whitebread, some whole wheat and some pumpernickel. You prefer whitebread and I preferred whole wheat which is why I married an Indian woman. :up:
              "When a man sees the road as long he weakens in his walk." Ibn Qayyim

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              • #8
                Re: Muslim and white - why is it so hard to find a partner?

                Try Bosnians.

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                • #9
                  Re: Muslim and white - why is it so hard to find a partner?

                  Originally posted by Aashiq View Post
                  Non-White Muslims mainly marry into their own race and culture as well, only a few marry outside. All you can do is keep looking. Have you tried looking at other white countries?
                  How do I "try" looking at other white countries? :)

                  عبد المنعم عبد المنعم - I try to open up to other races. It just doesn't work, the whole culture of communication and everything, I just can't fit in. I tried really hardly, I can't do it. Shezad, matrimonial sites are loaded with non-white muslims and I really don't know how come it is divided in such a weird way. I get loads of messages every day from non-white guys there, but I gave up on that, I can't keep trying any more. I have been disappointed so many times and always for the same reasons, I don't have more energy to put in that..

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                  • #10
                    Re: Muslim and white - why is it so hard to find a partner?

                    Originally posted by thatgirlZahraa View Post
                    Try Bosnians.
                    I am one...and tried many of them...

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                    • #11
                      Re: Muslim and white - why is it so hard to find a partner?

                      Originally posted by thatgirlZahraa View Post
                      Try Bosnians.
                      Yep or Albanians.
                      "We cast the truth against the falsehood, so that it breaks its head, and lo! it vanishes; and woe to you for what you describe." Qur'an 21:18

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                      • #12
                        Re: Muslim and white - why is it so hard to find a partner?

                        Originally posted by Nulbreaker View Post
                        Yep or Albanians.
                        Haa...no way... Albanians are bad news :D

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                        • #13
                          Re: Muslim and white - why is it so hard to find a partner?

                          Originally posted by Jade Vine View Post
                          I am one...and tried many of them...
                          I don't really know if it's a race thing or a culture thing with you but maybe try a 'westernized arab'. No real language or culture barrier there, other than communicating with your in-laws I guess and technically arabs are caucasians so...

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                          • #14
                            Re: Muslim and white - why is it so hard to find a partner?

                            Originally posted by thatgirlZahraa View Post
                            I don't really know if it's a race thing or a culture thing with you but maybe try a 'westernized arab'. No real language or culture barrier there, other than communicating with your in-laws I guess and technically arabs are caucasians so...
                            Arabs are not caucasians really, but I am avoiding them for whole different set of reasons.
                            Okay I'm just so very complicated and I don't even know why I came here to ask about this..It's not everyone's destiny to get married, right..

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                            • #15
                              Re: Muslim and white - why is it so hard to find a partner?

                              Originally posted by Jade Vine View Post
                              Haa...no way... Albanians are bad news :D
                              If you can't find a good white Muslims from among Bosnians and Albanians I don't know what to tell you! What do you want to marry, a footballer??!?!
                              "We cast the truth against the falsehood, so that it breaks its head, and lo! it vanishes; and woe to you for what you describe." Qur'an 21:18

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