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Why do men want to get married but stay living at home

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  • Re: Why do men want to get married but stay living at home

    Originally posted by Badriya View Post
    Wow smh I would have punched and divorced him on the spot how dare he
    i know right!

    thats my selfish family for you, typical pakistani men... smh!

    none of them deserve to have wives.

    Comment


    • Re: Why do men want to get married but stay living at home

      Originally posted by Asma28 View Post
      i know right!

      thats my selfish family for you, typical pakistani men... smh!

      none of them deserve to have wives.

      Lol
      Sisters

      Think you've all exaggerated a bit there

      Tone it down in shaa Allah.

      No need to knock his lights out or pull the divorce card.

      There's a sensible way of dealing with everything.

      Comment


      • Re: Why do men want to get married but stay living at home

        Originally posted by Rainyday View Post
        So I gather from this forum that men in certain communities like to get married.........then stay living at home with their mum.

        What's that about? Is there any sense or logic to this, or does it serve a purpose?

        I would imagine most men would want their own house once married, for things like privacy (use your imagination). Maybe he wants to cuddle up to his wife on the sofa or something. Can you behave like this if your mum is sat watching tv with you? Maybe the wife doesn't want to wear hijab around the house all the time. How can she dress in something nice for her husband if his dad, brothers and mum are around all the time?

        Is it because they can't bear to be apart from their Mums or they don't know how to live alone (pay bills, maintain the house etc)?

        are there any brothers who prefer to live at home than to have their own space with their wife?

        the best part about being married is having your own home with your hubby for lots and lots reasons i will not post here
        A lot of it is to do with the customs of that particular culture. So amongst Asians (Indians, Pakistanis and Bangladeshis) you will households where parents, children and their spouses are all living under one roof which would be completely unusual in another culture.

        Having said that, most of the Asian families in the UK I have seen involve the sons getting married and moving into a separate house. Houses tend to be limited in space and cannot hold more than one family and either the oldest or the youngest son will end up inheriting the family home. For example in my family my oldest brother is living in the family home with his wife; while in my cousins house it is the youngest brother staying in the family home with the rest of the brothers moving out.

        Also if you are an only-child then you will probably want to stay in your parents house to look after them in their old age. Obviously to what extent the parents need looking after depends on their level of health. For example some elderly folk have a lot of health issues and need constant care. Alternatively your parents may be young, working and fit so don't require such a level of care.

        So the issue isn't black and white. The are factors like:

        - how many brothers and sisters are there? Are you an only-child?
        - how big is the home they live in and how many families can it accommodate?
        - how old are the parents and what level of care do they require?

        Therefore depending on the situation of the individual, they may need to live in the same house as their parents after marriage. Obviously discuss it with the man before marriage to understand what his situation is.
        Last edited by Khalid b. Walid; 22-06-14, 03:56 AM.

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        • Re: Why do men want to get married but stay living at home

          Originally posted by imran1976 View Post
          Now i get this as to why brothers fly back home for marriage.
          lol
          O people who take pleasure in a life that will vanish, falling in love with a fading shadow is sheer stupidity~ Ibn Qayyim Al-Jawziyya

          Comment


          • Re: Why do men want to get married but stay living at home

            ...............
            .
            www.treasureofthescholars.wordpress.com

            Comment


            • Re: Why do men want to get married but stay living at home

              i was generally aware of the mindset of women living in the west, but the stupid comments in this thread really surprised/shocked me.
              "Europe died in Bosnia and was buried in Syria. Bodies of innocent children washing ashore are the
              western civilization's tombstones"


              Rajab Tayyab Erdogan

              Comment


              • Re: Why do men want to get married but stay living at home

                Originally posted by Asma28 View Post
                i know right!

                thats my selfish family for you, typical pakistani men... smh!

                none of them deserve to have wives.
                majority of our marriages are successful, this speaks alot abt our family values/system.
                "Europe died in Bosnia and was buried in Syria. Bodies of innocent children washing ashore are the
                western civilization's tombstones"


                Rajab Tayyab Erdogan

                Comment


                • Re: Why do men want to get married but stay living at home

                  Originally posted by imran1976 View Post
                  majority of our marriages are successful, this speaks alot abt our family values/system.
                  If you read the story, she wasn't talking about that. She was talking about a man whose wife looked after her mother in law for many years but wasn't even allowed to look after her own when she wanted to.

                  And it's abnormal in some cultures to live with the in laws, and it's normal in some, so some users who are commenting are basing it off their own culture, which has never heard of this practice.

                  Heck, I've never even heard of it. Apparently it's a Desi thing.
                  www.treasureofthescholars.wordpress.com

                  Comment


                  • Re: Why do men want to get married but stay living at home

                    Originally posted by samin62 View Post
                    nobody makes dinner quite like good ol mama
                    :)
                    La illaha ilallah

                    Comment


                    • Re: Why do men want to get married but stay living at home

                      Originally posted by Grimmjow View Post
                      If you read the story, she wasn't talking about that. She was talking about a man whose wife looked after her mother in law for many years but wasn't even allowed to look after her own when she wanted to.

                      And it's abnormal in some cultures to live with the in laws, and it's normal in some, so some users who are commenting are basing it off their own culture, which has never heard of this practice.

                      Heck, I've never even heard of it. Apparently it's a Desi thing.
                      In this same culture, it's also considered taboo for a man to look after his wife's parents and take them in.

                      A friend of mine (pakistani), was telling me about how when she got married, she made it clear to her husband that she intends to look after her parents.

                      So, after they got married and purchased their first home, her parents moved in with them.

                      She tells me that this is far from the norm.
                      https://sufisticated101.wordpress.com

                      Comment


                      • Re: Why do men want to get married but stay living at home

                        "Living together" is one thing and "taking care of" is another.

                        Also, men still work in their 40s and 50s so why would they need to be taken care of at that age? Do they suddenly stop doing things when their son gets married?
                        Last edited by Umm_Hanzalah; 22-06-14, 09:12 AM.
                        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JZVEydn3RKk

                        Comment


                        • Re: Why do men want to get married but stay living at home

                          Originally posted by LondonGal View Post
                          In this same culture, it's also considered taboo for a man to look after his wife's parents and take them in.
                          A friend of mine (pakistani), was telling me about how when she got married, she made it clear to her husband that she intends to look after her parents.

                          So, after they got married and purchased their first home, her parents moved in with them.

                          She tells me that this is far from the norm.
                          Well, that's plain hypocritical then.
                          www.treasureofthescholars.wordpress.com

                          Comment


                          • Re: Why do men want to get married but stay living at home

                            In this same culture, it's also considered taboo for a man to look after his wife's parents and take them in.
                            just cause it happens doesnt mean its culture ...

                            some1 needs to lay the ground rules of what culture is cause some people just take every other piece of pie and say 'its culture'.

                            i mean seriously , u just watch some soap dramas and see certain people doing it then its considered culture that women arent allowed to help their parents?

                            obviously incest and other such vices are also rampant in teh west and they are legal in alot of areas also , no1 seems to be calling that western culture.

                            Dont get how its defined as culture cause some people do it.

                            and im still waiting to see the haraam fatwa on the joint family system cause the women seem to be portraying as if it is.

                            same women are going to be crying when their sons are taken off by their wives and they'll be wallowing in their tears.


                            such a sad state for western muslims , leaving their old parents behind to go with their wives .... even remember the hadith of the sahaba who used to side with his wife and couldnt recite the shahadah on his death bed till him mother forgave him .....
                            Last edited by noobz; 22-06-14, 10:15 AM.



                            Comment


                            • Re: Why do men want to get married but stay living at home

                              Originally posted by Rainyday View Post
                              So I gather from this forum that men in certain communities like to get married.........then stay living at home with their mum.

                              What's that about? Is there any sense or logic to this, or does it serve a purpose?

                              I would imagine most men would want their own house once married, for things like privacy (use your imagination). Maybe he wants to cuddle up to his wife on the sofa or something. Can you behave like this if your mum is sat watching tv with you? Maybe the wife doesn't want to wear hijab around the house all the time. How can she dress in something nice for her husband if his dad, brothers and mum are around all the time?

                              Is it because they can't bear to be apart from their Mums or they don't know how to live alone (pay bills, maintain the house etc)?

                              are there any brothers who prefer to live at home than to have their own space with their wife?

                              the best part about being married is having your own home with your hubby for lots and lots reasons i will not post here
                              Theres nothing wrong with the Man wanting to stay with his parents, as long as there is sufficient space amd he coughs up/Pays for Most if not all of the expenses.

                              Far better than buying a House on Riba/Interest/Mortgages and accumulating Sins worth 36 x Zina ... as Most people have done.

                              Lastly If he rents out, unless his parents are well off/rich he has to provide for thje expenses of 2 x Houses The one he rents and his parents.

                              :jkk:
                              http://www.ilovepalestine.com/campai...imesinGaza.gif

                              "It does not befit the lion to answer the dogs."

                              – Imam al-Shafi’i (Rahimahullah)

                              Comment


                              • Re: Why do men want to get married but stay living at home

                                Originally posted by samin62 View Post
                                nobody makes dinner quite like good ol mama
                                Theres no arguing with that Fact akhi, Mums make the best food, experts at cooking, :up:

                                :jkk:
                                http://www.ilovepalestine.com/campai...imesinGaza.gif

                                "It does not befit the lion to answer the dogs."

                                – Imam al-Shafi’i (Rahimahullah)

                                Comment

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