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Why do men want to get married but stay living at home

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  • Re: Why do men want to get married but stay living at home

    Originally posted by Asma28 View Post
    Wow even pippin - a GIRL - has more reps than you!

    How does that feel, explain the pain to me
    one joined in 2010 n other in 2007!!
    give me some time.....
    I am the rising star of this forum!!

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    • Re: Why do men want to get married but stay living at home

      Lol @ this thread. You guys really need to calm down. We don't even know the circumstances we will marry into and here we are calling each other out. My parents live on another continent and my husband will agree with me on yhis, his mother is a tough cookie to look after but when my family visited, he looked after my family like they were his own and I did the same with my in laws. Just relax, get married and see how things go. And for those who get married and have their families close by, be happy and be grateful. My husband and I have no one close by and sometimes, everyone needs someone to be there for them.
      Mrs B

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      • Re: Why do men want to get married but stay living at home

        Originally posted by shazj View Post
        Lol @ this thread. You guys really need to calm down. We don't even know the circumstances we will marry into and here we are calling each other out. My parents live on another continent and my husband will agree with me on yhis, his mother is a tough cookie to look after but when my family visited, he looked after my family like they were his own and I did the same with my in laws. Just relax, get married and see how things go. And for those who get married and have their families close by, be happy and be grateful. My husband and I have no one close by and sometimes, everyone needs someone to be there for them.
        Shaz, why'd you have to be mature in this situation? Let the young'uns argue. Once they've been here for awhile, they'll come to realize what we know.

        That these kinds of threads will always happen and no solution will come to them, because ummahites like to argue about everything pertaining to marriage without actually getting married.

        مَّن ذَا الَّذِي يُقْرِضُ اللّهَ قَرْضًا حَسَنًا فَيُضَاعِفَهُ لَهُ أَضْعَافًا كَثِيرَةً وَاللّهُ يَقْبِضُ وَيَبْسُطُ وَإِلَيْهِ تُرْجَعُونَ

        "Who is he that will loan to Allah a beautiful loan, which Allah will double unto his credit and multiply many times?
        It is Allah that giveth (you) Want or plenty, and to Him shall be your return."
        Surah al-Baqarah
        [2:245]

        .:.
        .:. Perfer et Obdura : Dolor Hic Tibi Proderit Olim .:.
        Be patient and strong : someday this pain will be useful to you

        .:.
        ...said the spider to the fly...

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        • Re: Why do men want to get married but stay living at home

          Originally posted by pallas View Post
          Rent. That's the way the majority of Muslims in the Netherlands do it and I do not know what the situation is in Britain, but a man who is not able to afford to pay rent and other necessities is not really fit to marry here. Which I presume one's parents or they have to pay when living with one's parents.

          It is not that common for people to buy houses here anyway, so the majority simply rent. Why should this not be possible in Britain?
          I don't get that either.

          My husband has serious issues with Riba. That's why ever since we've been married, we've been renting.

          Up until a few years ago, even our family car was a rental.

          Ironically, it was the brothers who would advise my husband, to stop 'throwing away' his money by renting.
          https://sufisticated101.wordpress.com

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          • Re: Why do men want to get married but stay living at home

            Originally posted by Grimmjow View Post
            If you read the story, she wasn't talking about that. She was talking about a man whose wife looked after her mother in law for many years but wasn't even allowed to look after her own when she wanted to.

            And it's abnormal in some cultures to live with the in laws, and it's normal in some, so some users who are commenting are basing it off their own culture, which has never heard of this practice.

            Heck, I've never even heard of it. Apparently it's a Desi thing.
            and the reason Pakistanis shudn't have wives?

            yes there's a difference of culture, if some doesn't wan't to live, it's fine ----- Why come with guns blazing on us?
            live with parents, don't live them, live 100km's from parents, live on 90th floor, live in a basement - Who even Cares!
            "Europe died in Bosnia and was buried in Syria. Bodies of innocent children washing ashore are the
            western civilization's tombstones"


            Rajab Tayyab Erdogan

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            • Re: Why do men want to get married but stay living at home

              Because they are big babies, they never learnt how to take care of themselves much less take care of their own household, wife and kids.

              boom!!
              My heart will go on

              Comment


              • Re: Why do men want to get married but stay living at home

                Saying "its because we love our parents" is not the true reason why Asian tend to stay in join family. Its our culture, its the "WE" vs. "I" mentality different culture follows. For us its all about being part of a larger community (family) & to train the next generation to keep this tradition, especially in a world where individual is valued far more than a group. Thats just our culture and it has its plus & minus. Few reasons to stay:

                Integrate in the family faster: Many healthy parents insist on DIL to live with them eventhought there is no health issue because they want to train her from the begining to deal with family. They want her to get to know everyone & with time & constant exposure she will start thinking of them as her family too. Imagine a couple who got married & got there space with in driving distance from inlaws. They might come visit the inlaws once a week or maybe 2x at max for few hours. The wife will feel like a guest in her parents in laws house & treat them with respect but will not be forced to be ONE OF THEM. Then imagine 10 years later the inlaws fall sick, who moves to whos house & will this couple feel comfortable instantly taking over the responsibility of inlaws & having them live at home after living independently all these years. Will she feel like she is providing a charity service by taking care of them. No parents want to feel that way, no parents want to feel like they are burden when they are sick and old. Hence having a set up from earlier days when no one is a burden on eachother allows it to smoothly sail in to old age without the akwardness.

                Financial - NO i don't mean the couple can't afford a place. I mean the parents can't support themselves after they stop working. Us Asians don't do retierment planning, kids are our retierment plan. It is very difficult for a son to support 2 household & often times the parents have to get by on social secuirty money because the son went off with his family & now can't afford to run to family so parents don't ask for money. Living together means 1) financial security for both parents & kids (one is there to back the other up) 2) build in habit that part of your paycheck will go to parents from start, so its not a shock when parents need money & you see your bank balance keeping dropping

                FAmily Tie with newer generation - Living together means your on eachothers business but it also means you build history & have tight knit family. My husband is very close to his nephew & I have grown close to them in last 2 months. I doubt they would matter this much to me if I saw them once a week. But living together creats a stronger bond until people go crazy

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