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Will Sisters consider marrying a guy who is in the middle of his PhD

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  • #16
    Re: Will Sisters consider marrying a guy who is in the middle of his PhD

    Akhi I am going to be completely honest.

    To most sincere sisters such an issue is extremely trivial. They care about your deen and character, not all this other fluff.

    It's not like you can take good looks, money, social status, or any of this other stuff to jannah. Most sincere sisters just want someone who will be kind to them and treat them with respect, and help them in their deen. That's it.
    If you have any questions feel free to PM me!

    Humililty, Sincerity, and the quest for Truth. There is no purpose in life but to seek the pleasure of Allah.
    There is a possibility a female might use this account to read something!

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    • #17
      Re: Will Sisters consider marrying a guy who is in the middle of his PhD

      Originally posted by Azraael View Post
      :jkk: for the advice. especially for the reminder using the Quranic verse. Truly the time we live in now, patience is more important than ever.

      The other hurdle other than finding a girl that would be willing, is the cultural aspect. Desi (paki, indians, bengalis) arent even considered marriage material until he has started working. so convincing finding the girl is one thing, convincing her parents on why they should let her marry me is another.
      Brother i watched a great lecture by nouman ali khan

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UY6YIEScVWw

      Hes pakistani and i think this talk will really help you and your mother
      Even if your mum wont watch it with you i think you can benefit alot from it
      [b]Islam Our Deen - Creating Islamic Quote Pictures & Images used for Da'wah across Social Media[/b]
      Find us online: [url]www.islamourdeen.com[/url] & [url]www.twitter.com/islamourdeen2[/url]

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      • #18
        Re: Will Sisters consider marrying a guy who is in the middle of his PhD

        Originally posted by Azraael View Post
        As the title suggests.
        I'm 23 currently and will be, inshAllah starting a PhD program next year, which will take about 3-4 years. So Ill be about 27-28 by the time I'm done. If I want to get married, say, 26, would it be possible given I dont have a "Job". I will be making a PhD student salary which covers my tuition, and living costs. However, to support someone else with that, we will have to live very frugally for a while.

        So would sisters in my generation be able to handle that life style for a while? or do you all think I'm better off to hold marriage a little later once I have a job and have built up a savings, so say about 30/31 but then the issue with that is, most sisters would consider that "old". Usually all the guys get married between 25-27 nowadays.
        hmm. why phD? now days if you have a phD you are rejected for being 'over qualified'
        O people who take pleasure in a life that will vanish, falling in love with a fading shadow is sheer stupidity~ Ibn Qayyim Al-Jawziyya

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        • #19
          Re: Will Sisters consider marrying a guy who is in the middle of his PhD

          Originally posted by sabah suleiman View Post
          hmm. why phD? now days if you have a phD you are rejected for being 'over qualified'
          For my career you actually almost need a PhD. You can enter the field with a MS (which is the minimum requirement) but its harder to get into residency. No I'm not trying to become a professor.

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          • #20
            Re: Will Sisters consider marrying a guy who is in the middle of his PhD

            i think the mutual understandings between you and your partner is the key, you have to understand each other well , your sister should n't demand knowing that you are still studying and help you financially as well.

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            • #21
              Re: Will Sisters consider marrying a guy who is in the middle of his PhD

              Obviously not.

              Girls only want to marry someone who is financially stable.

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              • #22
                Re: Will Sisters consider marrying a guy who is in the middle of his PhD

                Honestly- for me- I wouldn't mind it because I know it's temporary. Also most likely the wife would be working if she has graduated from college so you guys can work together for a few years.

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                • #23
                  Re: Will Sisters consider marrying a guy who is in the middle of his PhD

                  Originally posted by wizard.of.oz View Post
                  Obviously not.

                  Girls only want to marry someone who is financially stable.
                  ^
                  Lolings.



                  OP -
                  I wouldn't mind but I don't seem it to be necessary pursuing PHDs etc right away.
                  Your wasting your life away studying for so long.
                  You know what I think is best for a brother to do:
                  Get ur bachelors. Knock it out with top grades in shaa Allah.
                  > Get work experience/internship/ employment relevant to ur field of choice.
                  > Get married > Pursue ur masters or pGCE thereafter.



                  No offence but as a young female myself I wouldn't pursue thirty year old odd men who are neither financially stable and have been studying for most of their life. There's no need. You can do ur pHD after u get married, there's no really no bother at all.

                  Get urself financially stable and re-evaluate ur life plan and perhaps sisters will be interested.

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                  • #24
                    Re: Will Sisters consider marrying a guy who is in the middle of his PhD

                    Originally posted by UmmAbdulMalik View Post
                    ^
                    Lolings.



                    OP -
                    I wouldn't mind but I don't seem it to be necessary pursuing PHDs etc right away.
                    Your wasting your life away studying for so long.
                    You know what I think is best for a brother to do:
                    Get ur bachelors. Knock it out with top grades in shaa Allah.
                    > Get work experience/internship/ employment relevant to ur field of choice.
                    > Get married > Pursue ur masters or pGCE thereafter.



                    No offence but as a young female myself I wouldn't pursue thirty year old odd men who are neither financially stable and have been studying for most of their life. There's no need. You can do ur pHD after u get married, there's no really no bother at all.

                    Get urself financially stable and re-evaluate ur life plan and perhaps sisters will be interested.
                    Do you realize that there are careers where a PHD is deemed as minimum qualification?

                    For example, certain fields of medicine like cardiac surgeons or neurologists, high end engineering and cutting edge scientific research and so on

                    On an average, once they start earning, they earn far more than bachelor degree holders. However, that is not why they go for higher degrees. It is because they love their subjects enough and are passionate about specializations and research.
                    Not knowing what one doesn't know will lead to difficulty

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                    • #25
                      Re: Will Sisters consider marrying a guy who is in the middle of his PhD

                      Originally posted by Azraael View Post
                      As the title suggests.
                      I'm 23 currently and will be, inshAllah starting a PhD program next year, which will take about 3-4 years. So Ill be about 27-28 by the time I'm done. If I want to get married, say, 26, would it be possible given I dont have a "Job". I will be making a PhD student salary which covers my tuition, and living costs. However, to support someone else with that, we will have to live very frugally for a while.

                      So would sisters in my generation be able to handle that life style for a while? or do you all think I'm better off to hold marriage a little later once I have a job and have built up a savings, so say about 30/31 but then the issue with that is, most sisters would consider that "old". Usually all the guys get married between 25-27 nowadays.
                      If you can still manage to provide (albeit frugally) then I think so. We're not all gold diggers, some of us do value other things like personality, character, deen, etc.

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                      • #26
                        Re: Will Sisters consider marrying a guy who is in the middle of his PhD

                        Originally posted by UmmAbdulMalik View Post
                        ^
                        Lolings.



                        OP -
                        I wouldn't mind but I don't seem it to be necessary pursuing PHDs etc right away.
                        Your wasting your life away studying for so long.
                        You know what I think is best for a brother to do:
                        Get ur bachelors. Knock it out with top grades in shaa Allah.
                        > Get work experience/internship/ employment relevant to ur field of choice.
                        > Get married > Pursue ur masters or pGCE thereafter.



                        No offence but as a young female myself I wouldn't pursue thirty year old odd men who are neither financially stable and have been studying for most of their life. There's no need. You can do ur pHD after u get married, there's no really no bother at all.

                        Get urself financially stable and re-evaluate ur life plan and perhaps sisters will be interested.
                        I understand part of what you're saying. I'm actually in the middle of Masters. I have one more year to go inshAllah. However, for my career, it is beneficial to have a PhD. Like I said in the earlier post, most residencies ONLY accept PhD graduates.

                        So I'm going to try and find a "junior" position as I get near graduation date, but have a PhD as like a "backup" sort of.

                        As per financial stability, once I finish residency, the job pays very well in this field.

                        the reason why I cant really get married unless I finish schooling is because of the desi cultural expectations. Parents want their sons to completely finished school and be very well established in their field before they can start looking for marriage.

                        Comment


                        • #27
                          Re: Will Sisters consider marrying a guy who is in the middle of his PhD

                          Originally posted by hanooneh View Post
                          Honestly- for me- I wouldn't mind it because I know it's temporary. Also most likely the wife would be working if she has graduated from college so you guys can work together for a few years.
                          I think this will be an ideal situation. if she works temporarily but once I finish I will be the sole provider. Also, PhD students DO get paid by the university to live on, so its not as bad as it sounds. I know a lot of PhD students that are married, but they're not desi though haha.

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                          • #28
                            Re: Will Sisters consider marrying a guy who is in the middle of his PhD

                            Get married bro

                            You live in America ... the most corrupt, filthy, hypersexual place on the planet where zina and fahisha is thrown in your face day after day
                            How dare they challenge me with their primitive skills? They're just as good as dead

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                            • #29
                              Re: Will Sisters consider marrying a guy who is in the middle of his PhD

                              Originally posted by Talwaar View Post
                              Get married bro

                              You live in America ... the most corrupt, filthy, hypersexual place on the planet where zina and fahisha is thrown in your face day after day
                              I WILL RESIST! If I was able to make it through high school and college.....I can hold out a little longer....In shaa Allah.

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