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Looking to get married is exhausting!

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  • Looking to get married is exhausting!

    salaam alaykum. the only reason i joined this forum is to get some feedback in my situation as i dont really know who to talk to about this...
    i am a young guy, decent looking, earn decent money, qualified, from a decent family and am looking to get married. i live in Africa and am looking to get married to someone who is on the sunnah (quran and sunnah). ive tried looking for a girl in my country and even though the girls are okay with it, their families want a guy who is a tablighi, or a sufi as those are the main groups here. its come to a point where the people in my town warn anyone from outside not to get their daughters married to me because im a "wahabi". i have famil in the UK and thus have tried looking for sisters there and alhamdulillah they too like me , but are unwilling to move africa. i try to compromise and tell them i am wlling to move but after a year but that still doesnt help. i cant move right now because i have family commitments at the moment.

    its come to a point where its really starting to worry me, my friends have gotten married and now i dont really have many people to spend time with, and the ones that are still not married are messed up whom id rather not hang around with. i feel anxious and lonely. i fast and pray my salaahs, i recite the quran but it still difficult and depressing most days.
    any advice will be really appreciated.

    jazakallah khair
    wsalaams.

  • #2
    Re: Looking to get married is exhausting!

    I understand its difficult and looking to get married does come with its period of drought and flood which is like you said exhausting. Just keep patient and make sincere dua to Allah to help and guide you to the right companion. Allah will test each one of us in many aspects..for some its finding a partner, others marriage, or family, or children, or health or wealth etc.

    Are there any people in your area from your 'wahabi' group you could find?

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: Looking to get married is exhausting!

      Originally posted by Silent Storm View Post
      I understand its difficult and looking to get married does come with its period of drought and flood which is like you said exhausting. Just keep patient and make sincere dua to Allah to help and guide you to the right companion. Allah will test each one of us in many aspects..for some its finding a partner, others marriage, or family, or children, or health or wealth etc.

      Are there any people in your area from your 'wahabi' group you could find?
      not that i know of

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: Looking to get married is exhausting!

        If the people in your town don't like you, this might be easier said than done but maybe move to a town or city nearby and try looking there.

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: Looking to get married is exhausting!

          Originally posted by thatgirlZahraa View Post
          If the people in your town don't like you, this might be easier said than done but maybe move to a town or city nearby and try looking there.
          its just the sufis who make it difficult. wont make much difference moving to another city..inshaAllah want to move to the middle east after marriage.

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: Looking to get married is exhausting!

            Originally posted by hamza1d1 View Post
            salaam alaykum. the only reason i joined this forum is to get some feedback in my situation as i dont really know who to talk to about this...
            i am a young guy, decent looking, earn decent money, qualified, from a decent family and am looking to get married. i live in Africa and am looking to get married to someone who is on the sunnah (quran and sunnah). ive tried looking for a girl in my country and even though the girls are okay with it, their families want a guy who is a tablighi, or a sufi as those are the main groups here. its come to a point where the people in my town warn anyone from outside not to get their daughters married to me because im a "wahabi". i have famil in the UK and thus have tried looking for sisters there and alhamdulillah they too like me , but are unwilling to move africa. i try to compromise and tell them i am wlling to move but after a year but that still doesnt help. i cant move right now because i have family commitments at the moment.

            its come to a point where its really starting to worry me, my friends have gotten married and now i dont really have many people to spend time with, and the ones that are still not married are messed up whom id rather not hang around with. i feel anxious and lonely. i fast and pray my salaahs, i recite the quran but it still difficult and depressing most days.
            any advice will be really appreciated.

            jazakallah khair
            wsalaams.
            Revertbrother welcomes you to UF.....
            please feel free to search and see people who are facing your situation are everywhere......
            lol.....
            I have this tabhligi stuff in my country as well.... majority are barelvi's and tabhligi.....

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: Looking to get married is exhausting!

              Originally posted by hamza1d1 View Post
              their families want a guy who is a tablighi, or a sufi
              Alhamdullilah you didn't marry any weirdos then. Have some patience. inshallah you will come across some sane people.
              Know that the life of this world is but amusement and diversion and adornment and boasting to one another and competition in increase of wealth and children...

              -Quran (57:20)

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: Looking to get married is exhausting!

                Originally posted by hamza1d1 View Post
                its just the sufis who make it difficult. wont make much difference moving to another city..inshaAllah want to move to the middle east after marriage.
                why not try finding one from the middle east?

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: Looking to get married is exhausting!

                  Originally posted by Asma28 View Post
                  why not try finding one from the middle east?
                  dont know how to go about it to find a girl in the middle east.. also, i cant move straight away it would take atleast a year after marriage for me to move that would probably be a concern for the girl..Allah knows best

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: Looking to get married is exhausting!

                    Originally posted by hamza1d1 View Post
                    salaam alaykum. the only reason i joined this forum is to get some feedback in my situation as i dont really know who to talk to about this...
                    i am a young guy, decent looking, earn decent money, qualified, from a decent family and am looking to get married. i live in Africa and am looking to get married to someone who is on the sunnah (quran and sunnah). ive tried looking for a girl in my country and even though the girls are okay with it, their families want a guy who is a tablighi, or a sufi as those are the main groups here. its come to a point where the people in my town warn anyone from outside not to get their daughters married to me because im a "wahabi". i have famil in the UK and thus have tried looking for sisters there and alhamdulillah they too like me , but are unwilling to move africa. i try to compromise and tell them i am wlling to move but after a year but that still doesnt help. i cant move right now because i have family commitments at the moment.

                    its come to a point where its really starting to worry me, my friends have gotten married and now i dont really have many people to spend time with, and the ones that are still not married are messed up whom id rather not hang around with. i feel anxious and lonely. i fast and pray my salaahs, i recite the quran but it still difficult and depressing most days.
                    any advice will be really appreciated.

                    jazakallah khair
                    wsalaams.
                    i live in african country too :) out of curiosity which country do you live in? if you don't mind me asking
                    meow

                    Comment

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