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  • Husband wants me to wear a burka

    Assalamualaikum,

    Its been 2 months since my wedding and alhamdulillah, so far, whatever problem myself and my husband have had we've solved it. However, even before our marriage he was asking me to wear a burka, and he still is asking me now. I wear a hijab, cover myself with appropriate clothing and i know i wont feel comfortable wearing a burka. He is constantly comparing me to his sister and sister-in-law who are wearing the burka and niqab. If i choose to wear the burka, i want it to be a personal choice, not a forced decision. Am i doing the right thing by saying no?

  • #2
    Re: Husband wants me to wear a burka

    he is a good man.

    although i can see why you would be frustrated since i don't like the comparing game either.

    but overall, what he is telling you to do is good.


    if you do it to obey him then why are you obeying him? to please Allah right?

    so ultimately you are doing it for Allah.


    don't let shaytan tell you that this is not acceptable and you should wait until you are ready (which will actually lead you to sin by disobeying your husband). let your husband lead his household. Allah will reward you abundantly for listening to him. just make sure you are following him to please Allah. so if he tells you to do something haram, you wouldn't do it.
    Last edited by عبد المنعم; 16-06-14, 03:23 PM.
    70 scholars issued fatawas that Imam Ahmad b. Hanbal should be executed! That was the popular opinion back then, don't be fooled by popular opinion today! - Ahmad Musa jibreel


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    • #3
      Re: Husband wants me to wear a burka

      You're in the wrong op.
      They say good things come to those who wait, so imma be at least an hour late

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      • #4
        Re: Husband wants me to wear a burka

        Originally posted by ibzy View Post
        You're in the wrong op.
        No she is not.

        Firstly - you do not compare your wife to anyone and you do not want your wife comparing husband to anyone

        Secondly, Even though he made it clear before marriage he wanted her to weak niqaab - they should have made a decision - if she was not going to wear it - then he had choice to marry or not - he cant really force it on her now - they will have to talk it through.

        This is something that come up before marriage and should have been dealt then - if hes suggesting and advising you to wear it then that is fine - he can carry on doing that - as long as not forcing it inshAllah

        There is a middle path on the issue.

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        • #5
          Re: Husband wants me to wear a burka

          Originally posted by ibzy View Post
          You're in the wrong op.
          why?
          وَاقْصِدْ فِي مَشْيِكَ وَاغْضُضْ مِن صَوْتِكَ ۚ إِنَّ أَنكَرَ الْأَصْوَاتِ لَصَوْتُ الْحَمِيرِ - 31:19

          And be moderate in your pace and lower your voice; indeed, the most disagreeable of sounds is the voice of donkeys."


          أَلَمْ تَرَوْا أَنَّ اللَّهَ سَخَّرَ لَكُم مَّا فِي السَّمَاوَاتِ وَمَا فِي الْأَرْضِ وَأَسْبَغَ عَلَيْكُمْ نِعَمَهُ ظَاهِرَةً وَبَاطِنَةً ۗ وَمِنَ النَّاسِ مَن يُجَادِلُ فِي اللَّهِ بِغَيْرِ عِلْمٍ وَلَا هُدًى وَلَا كِتَابٍ مُّنِيرٍ - 31:20

          Do you not see that Allah has made subject to you whatever is in the heavens and whatever is in the earth and amply bestowed upon you His favors, [both] apparent and unapparent? But of the people is he who disputes about Allah without knowledge or guidance or an enlightening Book [from Him].


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          • #6
            Re: Husband wants me to wear a burka

            Originally posted by عبد المنعم View Post

            if you do it to obey him then why are you obeying him? to please Allah right?

            so ultimately you are doing it for Allah.


            don't let shaytan tell you that this is not acceptable and you should wait until you are ready (which will actually lead you to sin by disobeying your husband). let your husband lead his household. Allah will reward you abundantly for listening to him. just make sure you are following him to please Allah. so if he tells you to do something haram, you wouldn't do it.
            different intention in op. you men are easier, you don't have to wear burka . So it's easy to just say "obey your hubby and wear burka" just like that.

            what she meant is she wants to wear niqab for the sake of Allah, not for the sake of husband. and there are difference of opinions in scholars regarding niqab being fardh or mustahab. But I always personally respect the sisters who wear niqab out of their choices. And maybe tell your husband there are difference of opinions regarding niqab -- but well maybe he's following the opinion that says it's fardh and that's why he's telling you. I don't know.

            For OP, if you decide to adapt yourself for niqab == you might want to ask other sisters who wear niqab, how does it feel like? How do they do things i.e. daily activities and is niqab hindering them? What was like in the first time? Listen to their stories and walk in their shoes. So let's say you want to try it, you have already informed yourself. Even women who never wear hijab before will think hijab will be hot and uncomfortable. So the answer is to be self-informed and the fear of unknown about niqab will be decreased itself.
            Last edited by Ariadne; 16-06-14, 03:56 PM.

            And all the heavens go their way.... And only change is here to stay...

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            • #7
              Re: Husband wants me to wear a burka

              Eeek.


              A tricky scenario. Besides, if you knew he wanted this beforehand and you know yourself, that youd be opposed to it, then why did you marry him?



              For the record however, it is a must that you obey him in this regard, based on a legitimate fatwa I read a while ago.

              I'll dig it up for you, or someone else can link it.

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              • #8
                Re: Husband wants me to wear a burka

                Originally posted by UmmAbdulMalik View Post
                Eeek.


                A tricky scenario. Besides, if you knew he wanted this beforehand and you know yourself, that youd be opposed to it, then why did you marry
                That goes both ways. No one should marry with expectations of changing someone either.

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                • #9
                  Re: Husband wants me to wear a burka

                  Firstly maybe you should tell him you don't like being compared to other people. I'm sure he doesn't like it if and when his parents compare him to other people's sons, so same thing applies here.

                  Secondly, his sister and sister in law wearing it should not be your motivation for wearing it. If you can do your own research on the niqaab then do it, or ask him to talk through the evidences with you. If you decide to wear it because of the evidence on it and to please Allah then your intention will be stronger and it will help you deal with the difficulties.

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                  • #10
                    Re: Husband wants me to wear a burka

                    Wear it one time and see how you feel?
                    وَالْعَصْرِ

                    إِنَّ الْإِنسَانَ لَفِي خُسْرٍ

                    إِلَّا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا وَعَمِلُوا الصَّالِحَاتِ وَتَوَاصَوْا بِالْحَقِّ وَتَوَاصَوْا بِالصَّبْرِ

                    "If Allah (swt) only sent this Surah to us, for the guidance of Mankind, this will be enough for us” - Imam Shaafi'ee r.a.

                    "Yeh dunya daar e faani hain, Tum apna dil mat lagaon, Ganimat samaj zinadagee ki bahar, aana na hoga, yahaa baar baar......"

                    Khanqah Habibiyah

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                    • #11
                      Re: Husband wants me to wear a burka

                      Originally posted by عبد المنعم View Post
                      he is a good man.

                      although i can see why you would be frustrated since i don't like the comparing game either.

                      but overall, what he is telling you to do is good.


                      if you do it to obey him then why are you obeying him? to please Allah right?

                      so ultimately you are doing it for Allah.


                      don't let shaytan tell you that this is not acceptable and you should wait until you are ready (which will actually lead you to sin by disobeying your husband). let your husband lead his household. Allah will reward you abundantly for listening to him. just make sure you are following him to please Allah. so if he tells you to do something haram, you wouldn't do it.
                      Spot on and good Islamic advice

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                      • #12
                        Re: Husband wants me to wear a burka

                        Originally posted by Jenicca View Post
                        Wear it one time and see how you feel?
                        :rotfl: difficult in hot weather....but get used to it.However husband should not force his wife if she is not comfortable.Hijab/niqab types are vaque in islam.Like both can work...niqab or burqa.
                        Burqa ll be a fashion too in future
                        ".......He giveth and spendeth (of His bounty) as He pleaseth. But the revelation that cometh to thee from Allah increaseth in most of them (kuffar) their obstinate rebellion and blasphemy.Amongst them we have placed enmity and hatred till the Day of Judgment. Every time they kindle the fire of war, Allah doth extinguish it;but they (ever) strive to do mischief on earth. And Allah loveth not those who do mischief."(5:64)

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                        • #13
                          Re: Husband wants me to wear a burka

                          Oh dear, this should've been properly discussed and dealt with before marriage. I think if I were in your shoes I'd wear it.
                          The Lyme Disease pandemic: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z5u73ME4sVU

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                          • #14
                            Re: Husband wants me to wear a burka

                            Originally posted by Chocolate999 View Post
                            Assalamualaikum,

                            Its been 2 months since my wedding and alhamdulillah, so far, whatever problem myself and my husband have had we've solved it. However, even before our marriage he was asking me to wear a burka, and he still is asking me now. I wear a hijab, cover myself with appropriate clothing and i know i wont feel comfortable wearing a burka. He is constantly comparing me to his sister and sister-in-law who are wearing the burka and niqab. If i choose to wear the burka, i want it to be a personal choice, not a forced decision. Am i doing the right thing by saying no?
                            :salams

                            Remind him that comparing you to others is not something a Muslim is allowed to do and remember that obeying the husband is fard. His gheera (jealousy) is strong and this is something that should be encouraged as long as it doesn't go to extremes.

                            I suggest you email a scholar because the answers you get on a forum will often be incorrect and influenced by personal opinions. http://islamqa.info/en/sendq or http://www.askimam.org/public/ask_question

                            Originally posted by QMU View Post
                            No she is not.
                            When your husband orders you to do something halaal you have to do it, otherwise you are sinful.

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                            • #15
                              Re: Husband wants me to wear a burka

                              Originally posted by LailaTheMuslim View Post
                              why?
                              Ibn Hibbaan narrated that Abu Hurayrah said: The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “If a woman prays her five (daily prayers), fasts her month (Ramadaan), guards her chastity and obeys her husband, it will be said to her: ‘Enter Paradise from whichever of the gates of Paradise you wish.’” Classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Jaami’, no. 660.
                              They say good things come to those who wait, so imma be at least an hour late

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