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I am 23 years and she is 15 years older

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  • #31
    Re: I am 23 years and she is 15 years older

    Originally posted by Constant Hope View Post
    If she's Muslim, why was this a problem?
    Some people can't bear being in a polygamous relationship. Nothing wrong with that.

    edit: but in the case of the Op. If she divorced him because she felt betrayed, then that's not right.


    ================================================== ===========

    At Op, she wants you, you want her. I say go for it.
    Last edited by *sheba*; 14-03-14, 08:13 AM.
    O people who take pleasure in a life that will vanish, falling in love with a fading shadow is sheer stupidity~ Ibn Qayyim Al-Jawziyya

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    • #32
      Re: I am 23 years and she is 15 years older

      Originally posted by sabah suleiman View Post
      Some people can't bear being in a polygamous relationship. Nothing wrong with that.
      ================================================== ===========

      At Op, she wants you, you want her. I say go for it.
      Sister, I understand some people don't want to be in a polygamous relationship, but what are the Islamic grounds with which a woman can use to divorce by use of khula? Surely if he honours all Islamic obligations, there's not just grounds Islamically because a muslim woman doesn't like polygamy is there?
      I write novels for posts. Beware. :mujahida:

      Ummah Forum seems pretty black and white. Was thinking of offering Skittles as Dawah to introduce a rainbow.

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      • #33
        Re: I am 23 years and she is 15 years older

        Acha.
        Never have I dealt with anything more difficult than my own soul, which sometime helps me and sometime opposes me

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        • #34
          Re: I am 23 years and she is 15 years older

          Originally posted by Constant Hope View Post
          Sister, I understand some people don't want to be in a polygamous relationship, but what are the Islamic grounds with which a woman can use to divorce by use of khula? Surely if he honours all Islamic obligations, there's not just grounds Islamically because a muslim woman doesn't like polygamy is there?

          if she feels like she will be unable to fulfill his rights and thus be sinful if she is in a polygamous marriage then she can ask for a divorce.

          And besides he should have informed her about it before marrying her, so the fault is really his.



          Last edited by *sheba*; 14-03-14, 12:17 AM.
          O people who take pleasure in a life that will vanish, falling in love with a fading shadow is sheer stupidity~ Ibn Qayyim Al-Jawziyya

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          • #35
            Re: I am 23 years and she is 15 years older

            Oh boy I read the thread title incorrectly, I thought the girl was 15 years old

            Do not invest your hopes in anyone but Allah and do not fear anything but the consequences and repercussions of your sins!

            Uthmaan R.A

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            • #36
              Re: I am 23 years and she is 15 years older

              Originally posted by sabah suleiman View Post

              if she feels like she will be unable to fulfill his rights and thus be sinful if she is in a polygamous marriage then she can ask for a divorce.

              And besides he should have informed her about it before marrying her, so the fault is really his.



              :jkk: for the reply sister

              Do you have a good link maybe to somewhere with the info on this subject, as I don't want to really derail the thread.

              Originally posted by Sheikh_Google View Post
              Oh boy I read the thread title incorrectly, I thought the girl was 15 years old
              @)
              I write novels for posts. Beware. :mujahida:

              Ummah Forum seems pretty black and white. Was thinking of offering Skittles as Dawah to introduce a rainbow.

              Comment


              • #37
                Re: I am 23 years and she is 15 years older

                Originally posted by Constant Hope View Post
                :jkk: for the reply sister
                I'm going out now. But I'll rep link it to you later on I'A
                O people who take pleasure in a life that will vanish, falling in love with a fading shadow is sheer stupidity~ Ibn Qayyim Al-Jawziyya

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                • #38
                  I am 23 years and she is 15 years older

                  Wsalm Brother!! when you will be 40 she will be 60 !! So think wisely my brother!!
                  "EVERY SAINT HAD A PAST ,EVERY SINNER HAS A FUTURE"

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                  • #39
                    Re: I am 23 years and she is 15 years older

                    Originally posted by Mohammad786 View Post
                    I am 23 years she is 15 years older than me.
                    She likes me and wants to marry me.
                    Her family also knows me pretty well and they would love to see me as her husband.
                    I also want to marry her; the reason is not lust but i see her as my future wife.
                    She has all the qualities to be a perfect wife and plus Islamicaly (deen) she is more knowledgeable compare to me.
                    The age difference doesn't bother me, we enjoy each other company and difference never pops out.
                    I respect her and see her probably in the same way as prophet saw his first wife.

                    When i spoke with my sister she informed me about women is 40s and how things change and told me to think about it not rush.
                    I am kinda scared to open this topic in front of my parents and just in case they don't accept it.
                    I prayed istikhara and didn't see any bad signs or anything.
                    I think for my age pretty mature.

                    Any brothers who have married an older woman please advice me.
                    Any sisters married younger man please advice me and pros/cons of woman in 40s.
                    deleted

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                    • #40
                      Re: I am 23 years and she is 15 years older

                      Originally posted by Mohomedhassan View Post
                      Wsalm Brother!! when you will be 40 she will be 60 !! So think wisely my brother!!
                      Would you give the same advice if a sister who was 23 was going to marry someone 15 yrs older? "When you're 40 he'll be 55(not 60)!!"

                      I'm just curious because many brothers have no problem encouraging a young sister to marry a brother much older than herself, but caution other brothers against the very same thing.

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                      • #41
                        Re: I am 23 years and she is 15 years older

                        Originally posted by Bint_Hajj View Post
                        Would you give the same advice if a sister who was 23 was going to marry someone 15 yrs older? "When you're 40 he'll be 55(not 60)!!"

                        I'm just curious because many brothers have no problem encouraging a young sister to marry a brother much older than herself, but caution other brothers against the very same thing.
                        exactly my point sis

                        i dont mind brothers proceeding with caution when it comes to marrying older women BUT if they dont hold the same views for a huge age gap between a young girll and an older man - i just wanna give them a good slap
                        Ibnul Qayyim رحمه الله said: "Don’t ruin your happiness with worry, and don’t ruin your mind with pessimism. Don’t ruin your success with deception and don’t ruin the optimism of others by destroying it. Don’t ruin your day by looking back at yesterday.
                        __________________________________________________ _____________________________
                        If you think about your situation, you will find that Allaah (سبحانه وتعالى) has given you things without asking, so have trust in Allaah (سبحانه وتعالى) that He doesn’t prevent anything you want except there is goodness for you.

                        You could be sleeping and the doors of the heavens are being opened with dua’as being made on your behalf, SubhanAllaah: perhaps from someone poor whom you helped, or someone sad whom you brought joy, or someone passing by and you smiled at him, or someone in distress and you removed it.. so don’t ever underestimate any good deeds."



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                        • #42
                          Re: I am 23 years and she is 15 years older

                          Different people react differently to situations, this is a classic example.

                          If age has never been an issue for you, you seem compatible, she has good characteristics, why not. Just ensure you are sure about it, not trying to discourage or anything but think about it for now and in say like 5 years time. It will be unfair on her, if you decide in 5 years time that she was too old for you etc. Insh'Allah if you are happy with that, proceed and leave the rest to Allah SWT.

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                          • #43
                            Re: I am 23 years and she is 15 years older

                            Thank you all for your comments and advice
                            I am still praying istikhara and asking allah to help me make the right decision.
                            Inshallah soon will open the topic with my parents.
                            Rest is all upto allah.
                            Allah knows the best for us.

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                            • #44
                              Re: I am 23 years and she is 15 years older

                              Originally posted by Mohammad786 View Post
                              Thank you all for your comments and advice
                              I am still praying istikhara and asking allah to help me make the right decision.
                              Inshallah soon will open the topic with my parents.
                              Rest is all upto allah.
                              Allah knows the best for us.
                              Ok , I like biriyani , you get the hint right

                              Youtube channel - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCYk...dE4pHzSid7Lr0w

                              **** Smiling won't cost you now is it ****

                              Zawjati ,“Uhibbuki mithla mâ antê” “Uhibbuki kaifamâ kunteee”“Wa mahmâ kâna mahma sâra”

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