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  • Marriage.

    What's up guys. I haven't been on the forum for a few days. I've started a new job, and it's great but alot of work. :D

    So I have a few questions. First, is marriage necessary?

    Second, what is the likelihood of finding someone that hasn't messed up early in life and been about? Maybe that's the wrong question. But I can't help it. I feel like I'd have a problem with a girl who's been around. I'm a revert, but I was raised a Christian, so I had limits to how far I'd go, because church was the place to find a girl to take home. Maybe at the time it won't bother me, but I doubt it.

    Also, I'm curious about stereotypes.. People tell me that most muslim girls are from closed cultures, and really look up to fancy cars, flashy living, and competing with friends and family. I earn more than most of my friends, and I have ambition, but I'm not interested in that lifestyle. I'm from the West coast, we like to go biking along the beach.. eat sushi.. take transit (yes, even if we own cars).. eat at unknown little restaurants haha.. I dunno. I guess I'm rambling. Marriage was on the brain.

    On the plus side, I'm growing a beard now and it looks pretty sick.
    [url]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_1aGGYunNIQ[/url]

  • #2
    Re: Marriage.

    Congratulations on the job :)
    Yes there are many Muslim women without a past and many who are not interested in a flashy lifestyle.
    finding them will be hard though lol

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: Marriage.

      Originally posted by Rebel101 View Post
      Congratulations on the job :)
      Yes there are many Muslim women without a past and many who are not interested in a flashy lifestyle.
      finding them will be hard though lol
      Thanks :D

      ..challenge accepted
      [url]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_1aGGYunNIQ[/url]

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: Marriage.

        Originally posted by KeiGP View Post
        Thanks :D

        ..challenge accepted
        lool let us know how it goes

        May Allah make it a walk in the park for you. Ameen.

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: Marriage.

          Originally posted by KeiGP View Post
          Thanks :D

          ..challenge accepted
          LOL! May Allah grant you a righteous spouse, may be a little difficult (nothing to do with you) but :insha: worth it.
          As rebel said, finding a woman or man for that matter, without a past is like finding a needle in haystack (exaggeration but ya' know what I mean)
          My Lord sanctify my flawed heart
          As You have sanctified Your house,
          Make my heart as protected and as honoured
          In which permission of entry
          Is only granted to a few,
          Please Allah, allow my heart
          To be preserved only for You.



          ---


          It hurts, to watch you leave so soon,
          when I don't know, if I will ever see you again
          In Jannah, we will meet :love:


          If I have ever offended, hurt or insulted you, forgive me for the sake of Allah سبحانه وتعالى‎

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: Marriage.

            I don't think you'll have any problem finding a proper wife who is more to the aakhrira than the dunya. Put stereotypes on the side, just concentrate in what you are looking for focusing only in WHAT YOU WANT AND NOT IN WHAT YOU DON'T WANT, and ask Allah saw wa ta aalaa for help as intensively as you can, put your trust in Allah and start looking in the mosques etc. I'm sure most people like the comfort of a lighten up, warm house, the comfort of nice wonderful people around. Inshallah you'll find a suitable spouse.
            6:62 "Then are they restored unto Allah, their Lord, the Just. Surely His is the judgment. And He is the most swift of reckoners."

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: Marriage.

              I don't think most Muslim girls have a past, only few do, so it shouldn't be diffcult to find one and of course girls want someone with a job who will take care of them that doesn't make them gold diggers.

              Congrats for the job
              Say (O Muhammad SAW to mankind):
              “If you (really) love Allāh then follow me (i.e. accept Islāmic Monotheism, follow the Qur’ān and the Sunnah), Allāh will love you and forgive you of your sins. And Allāh is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.” (Aali Imran 3:31)

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: Marriage.

                Everyone has a past and it depends on hw much thyv learnt frm the past. If past was such an issue, no-one wud gv converts to Islam a second glance. I'd say wth u as a convert, u shud be more accomodating to someone who has a past as u knw urslf tht u wudnt it if sum1 told u tht u werent worthy of marriage cos of ur past.

                Not all asian Muslim girls r into the flash motors etc. I prefer my bloke to drive the car and not the other way round. A small house full of love is much better thn a big house which is devoid. If u go out for a meal thn it doesnt matter if ur in a run down place providing the company and the food is good. Lil things lyk tht make life worth living.

                As for the job and accepting Islam. Congratulations and in sha Allah u wll prosper work wise and deen wise :-)

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: Marriage.

                  Mash Allah! good to hear you're growing a beard lol @ sick my 2 year old nephew uses that word

                  No, every girl DOES NOT HAVE A PAST!!!! please please do not think like that, because it is incorrect! and also not all girls look up to flashy cars/big houses, and all that nonsense, we just want a decent caring husband!
                  Obviously every girl is different. If you look online (please do not join the non muslim sites, but a decent website) mention on your profile you are looking for this and that and are not keen on blah blah, that way you don't have to feel suspicious or have doubts!

                  Hope that was helpful!!
                  'Whatever it be wherein ye differ, the decision thereof is with Allah: such is Allah my Lord: In Him I trust, and to Him I turn.' The Holy Qu'ran Al Shura (Consultation)

                  So, which of the favours of your lord will you deny? ~ Surah Ar Rahman

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: Marriage.

                    Alright guys, wall of text incoming. Sorry, but I appreciate you responding to the thread, so I wanted to get back to ya.

                    Originally posted by sunrise786 View Post
                    LOL! May Allah grant you a righteous spouse, may be a little difficult (nothing to do with you) but :insha: worth it.
                    As rebel said, finding a woman or man for that matter, without a past is like finding a needle in haystack (exaggeration but ya' know what I mean)
                    lol, I like your avatar. You and Rebel both have banana pics. Yeah, that's definitely the sense out there. It's a different world we live in.

                    Originally posted by Kalikatu View Post
                    I don't think you'll have any problem finding a proper wife who is more to the aakhrira than the dunya. Put stereotypes on the side, just concentrate in what you are looking for focusing only in WHAT YOU WANT AND NOT IN WHAT YOU DON'T WANT, and ask Allah saw wa ta aalaa for help as intensively as you can, put your trust in Allah and start looking in the mosques etc. I'm sure most people like the comfort of a lighten up, warm house, the comfort of nice wonderful people around. Inshallah you'll find a suitable spouse.
                    Thanks. Sounds like some sage advice. There aren't really any mosques around here, but I'm gonna reach out and see what kinda resources we have about. BTW, what does aakhrira mean?

                    Originally posted by Aliyah101 View Post
                    I don't think most Muslim girls have a past, only few do, so it shouldn't be diffcult to find one and of course girls want someone with a job who will take care of them that doesn't make them gold diggers.

                    Congrats for the job
                    Thanks Aliyah, not saying they're gold diggers. I have heard that inter-competition is a cultural quality. But honestly I think muslim women are legit more courageous and pious than most of us brothers. We have it easy comparatively.

                    Originally posted by FirefoxDiva View Post
                    Everyone has a past and it depends on hw much thyv learnt frm the past. If past was such an issue, no-one wud gv converts to Islam a second glance. I'd say wth u as a convert, u shud be more accomodating to someone who has a past as u knw urslf tht u wudnt it if sum1 told u tht u werent worthy of marriage cos of ur past.

                    Not all asian Muslim girls r into the flash motors etc. I prefer my bloke to drive the car and not the other way round. A small house full of love is much better thn a big house which is devoid. If u go out for a meal thn it doesnt matter if ur in a run down place providing the company and the food is good. Lil things lyk tht make life worth living.

                    As for the job and accepting Islam. Congratulations and in sha Allah u wll prosper work wise and deen wise :-)
                    Sure, but it doesn't change how I feel about it. Not saying it's right, it's just a feeling. Everyone either comes from a convert or is a convert. All the sahabas.. all their relatives.. Your early relatives.. :P and thank you

                    Originally posted by Ya'sin View Post
                    Mash Allah! good to hear you're growing a beard lol @ sick my 2 year old nephew uses that word

                    No, every girl DOES NOT HAVE A PAST!!!! please please do not think like that, because it is incorrect! and also not all girls look up to flashy cars/big houses, and all that nonsense, we just want a decent caring husband!
                    Obviously every girl is different. If you look online (please do not join the non muslim sites, but a decent website) mention on your profile you are looking for this and that and are not keen on blah blah, that way you don't have to feel suspicious or have doubts!

                    Hope that was helpful!!
                    Your 2 y/o nephew is pretty cool eh. ;) Yeah I dunno, I didn't realize I could really grow a beard, but it's alright.. Do many people use muslim dating sites?

                    Thanks x2. Time to hit the sack.
                    [url]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_1aGGYunNIQ[/url]

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Re: Marriage.

                      stay single for as long as you can, muslimah's have evolved, I hope you know the only thing they have to do for you is give you sex, nothing else and guard your house. Don't expect anything more.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Re: Marriage.

                        not even take care of you if you are sick and dying, she is not a nurse

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Re: Marriage.

                          What is the meaning of past anyway? Non virgin or was alcoholic, or someone who once did not practice Islam then now practice Islam (but with no bad track record like boyfriend, drinking, etc.)???

                          What mistake can/can't you tolerate? I am sure everyone makes mistakes.

                          Define please
                          ~ Don’t trade a house in Jannah :insha:, for a lowly house in this transient world ~

                          They want to extinguish the light of Allah with their mouths, but Allah will perfect His light, although the disbelievers dislike it (61 : 8)

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Re: Marriage.

                            Oh sorry, I misspelled..I meant aakhira..the hereafter, you know. I meant a wife that isn't all that materialistic and is more worried in "getting enough points" for the hereafter.


                            @Virus, you know bro, for someone not married you do seem to have a great introspect on women and women behavior. People go to defense mode when they're treated like the enemy. So if one is all about ones own rights and has no capability for sympathy, empathy, or doesn't want to build a friendship and from that a marriage, then what do you expect, your wifey to do all the housework and cooking etc. while you stomp on her and disregard her? Tssk. You do realize this stuff works both ways. People generally are nice to you when you're nice to them.

                            Also, so what if she hold on to her rights and only guards your house, look after the children and gives you sex? If Allah sawwata'aalaa has made that the limit for her duties, then you ought to be fine with that. All the housework, cooking etc. from her part is charity. If she doesn't want to do that that's too bad, but who gave you the idea that you're marrying a sex-maid? You're marrying a governor for the house. If she is ok with doing the cleaning and cooking, something many men seem to disregard as discussing puny jobs, exactly why should she do them when you don't want to do them either? Why do things with such low value? Get a maid and your wifey will make sure the maid gets everything done, after all that is her job. Or you could just be grateful and thankful and value her for doing the job herself. Most women do tend to want to please their husbands but it doesn't work if the husband isn't pleased but rather takes it for granted, you get what I'm saying?


                            In the other hand I'm not married either AHAHAAAHAHA HAHAHAHA HAHAHAHA
                            Last edited by Kalikatu; 27-01-14, 10:23 AM.
                            6:62 "Then are they restored unto Allah, their Lord, the Just. Surely His is the judgment. And He is the most swift of reckoners."

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Re: Marriage.

                              Originally posted by Kalikatu View Post
                              @Virus, you know bro, for someone not married you do seem to have a great introspect on women and women behavior. People go to defense mode when they're treated like the enemy. So if one is all about ones own rights and has no capability for sympathy, empathy, or doesn't want to build a friendship and from that a marriage, then what do you expect, your wifey to do all the housework and cooking etc. while you stomp on her and disregard her? Tssk. You do realize this stuff works both ways. People generally are nice to you when you're nice to them.

                              Also, so what if she hold on to her rights and only guards your house, look after the children and gives you sex? If Allah sawwata'aalaa has made that the limit for her duties, then you ought to be fine with that. All the housework, cooking etc. from her part is charity. If she doesn't want to do that that's too bad, but who gave you the idea that you're marrying a sex-maid? You're marrying a governor for the house. If she is ok with doing the cleaning and cooking, something many men seem to disregard as discussing puny jobs, exactly why should she do them when you don't want to do them either? Why do things with such low value? Get a maid and your wifey will make sure the maid gets everything done, after all that is her job. Or you could just be grateful and thankful and value her for doing the job herself. Most women do tend to want to please their husbands but it doesn't work if the husband isn't pleased but rather takes it for granted, you get what I'm saying?


                              In the other hand I'm not married either AHAHAAAHAHA HAHAHAHA HAHAHAHA
                              by holding on to bare minimum she is not going to win over any hearts, if my wife had to ever tell me that, let her ask me for something I don't have to provide and lets see how much she likes it, you know like a new pair of shoes or handbags, or a new fone or holiday, I will say straight to her face, it's not my duty, you already have a pair of shoes, or a couple of handbags, not nice when it swings the other way around is it??

                              Comment

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