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Beware of the Marriage Bandits

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  • Sis_Asiya
    replied
    Re: Beware of the Marriage Bandits

    Originally posted by Mikha’eel View Post
    A shame we do not live in an Islamic State, because such degenerates deserved to be publically flogged or punished severely for this behavior towards these sisters. Would these degenerates like it if someone did that to their sister or mother or even daughter?
    these kind of people lack shame, therefore they wouldnt think like that

    Leave a comment:


  • Sis_Asiya
    replied
    Re: Beware of the Marriage Bandits

    Originally posted by Rebel101 View Post
    I don't think this is true at all in this case. SubhanAllah the whole ''naive'' comment is getting blown way out of proportion.
    Everyone who commented her showed concern and nobody was glad they were targeted, abused and used. - That's not nice to say at all btw.
    If any Muslim doesn't care or is glad about another Muslims problems they need to doubt their iman.

    i think there is a difference between naiveity and compliance to a certain degree, Unfortunately if your brain washed into thinking quite simplistically about being "rescued" by a supposed "knight in shining armour" who will protect you and honour you and marry you then your going to fall for it, even if he works on isolating you from your father, brother, ect. I think it was in one of mufti menk's lectures where he stated do not make your daughters into princesses whereby they wont be able to survive post marriage, similiarly i think its best sisters are protected but also savvy enough to know and recognise when they are being led up the garden path.

    A vast overwhelming majority of people - muslim or not - are selfish, fact, Therefore they would not think twice about doing stuff like this, and the sooner sisters especially realise this, the better.

    Leave a comment:


  • AhlulQuran88
    replied
    Originally posted by Massilia View Post
    im surprised people are discovering the disaster
    in france no imam will marry anyone if the couple is not married at the council because of that. The sister gets married and then morrning of the wedding night "bye bye", it is not a divorce it is throwing garbage when you're finished.

    I will not blame the sisters who didn't know it is the fault of the community who didn't help or guide them properly especially the reverts.
    But i see a lot of sisters saying "i will not get married at the council" well you'll pay the bill and when it happens deal with it. It is not like the leaders of the community have not sent warnings because everyday imams receive call from sisters abused or parents whose daughter has been abandonned..

    Even walis can see so much of a brother, they aren't mind readers, what can you say if you see a bearded guy in a qamis, saying "in cha Allah" "bismillah"?

    Nikkah is not a religious ceremony but a civil mariage. So you dont need an imam, you need wali, witnesses and contract signed in due . All details can be sorted out with an attorney or lawyer to respect the islamic guidelines for inheritance, divorce, custody etc...
    What will this solve ? even if they divorce officially by french law. how will this be in the sisters favour

    Leave a comment:


  • Mikha’eel
    replied
    Re: Beware of the Marriage Bandits

    A shame we do not live in an Islamic State, because such degenerates deserved to be publically flogged or punished severely for this behavior towards these sisters. Would these degenerates like it if someone did that to their sister or mother or even daughter?

    Leave a comment:


  • Umm_Hanzalah
    replied
    Re: Beware of the Marriage Bandits

    The saddest thing about this all Is that they use Islam as a cover, when Allah hates oppression.

    Women are left having bad feelings about Islam because of these people, because there is no "recourse" and there is stigmatisation within the Muslim community against these women.

    Not all of us know what it is like to have to live on your own and fend for yourself and children without support or wider support from other family members.

    We should thank Allah if we have mahrams and husbands who care for our wellbeing and look out for us. Even if our fathers/brothers make the wrong choice for us (bad husband); if they have our best interests at heart, they can always follow it up with a lot of support when those problems occur.

    This reminds of those sisters now in places like Afghanistan and Syria. It's not always about being naive. These woman who have lost their husbands, fathers and brothers. Men are like wolves ready to pounce on them.

    May Allah protect the Ummah, Ameen.

    Leave a comment:


  • Massilia
    replied
    Re: Beware of the Marriage Bandits

    im surprised people are discovering the disaster
    in france no imam will marry anyone if the couple is not married at the council because of that. The sister gets married and then morrning of the wedding night "bye bye", it is not a divorce it is throwing garbage when you're finished.

    I will not blame the sisters who didn't know it is the fault of the community who didn't help or guide them properly especially the reverts.
    But i see a lot of sisters saying "i will not get married at the council" well you'll pay the bill and when it happens deal with it. It is not like the leaders of the community have not sent warnings because everyday imams receive call from sisters abused or parents whose daughter has been abandonned..

    Even walis can see so much of a brother, they aren't mind readers, what can you say if you see a bearded guy in a qamis, saying "in cha Allah" "bismillah"?

    Nikkah is not a religious ceremony but a civil mariage. So you dont need an imam, you need wali, witnesses and contract signed in due . All details can be sorted out with an attorney or lawyer to respect the islamic guidelines for inheritance, divorce, custody etc...

    Leave a comment:


  • Muslimah~S
    replied
    Re: Beware of the Marriage Bandits

    Originally posted by Rebel101 View Post
    I don't think this is true at all in this case. SubhanAllah the whole ''naive'' comment is getting blown way out of proportion.
    Everyone who commented her showed concern and nobody was glad they were targeted, abused and used. - That's not nice to say at all btw.
    If any Muslim is glad about another Muslims problems they need to doubt their iman.
    It was sort of a general comment sis. I didn't really pay much attention to the posts in this thread.

    Leave a comment:


  • Muslima London
    replied
    Re: Beware of the Marriage Bandits

    I don't think that rebel was being unkind. But you can't deny there is a level of naiviry in those sisters

    But doesn't mean we don't feel sorry for them

    Leave a comment:


  • Rebel101
    replied
    Re: Beware of the Marriage Bandits

    Originally posted by مسلمة View Post
    I think it was sister *asiya who had an avatar which said something like don't tell people your problems, 80% don't care and the other 20% are glad you have them. I guess there is some truth in that.
    I don't think this is true at all in this case. SubhanAllah the whole ''naive'' comment is getting blown way out of proportion.
    Everyone who commented her showed concern and nobody was glad they were targeted, abused and used. - That's not nice to say at all btw.
    If any Muslim doesn't care or is glad about another Muslims problems they need to doubt their iman.
    Last edited by Rebel101; 01-01-14, 01:36 PM.

    Leave a comment:


  • Muslima London
    replied
    Re: Beware of the Marriage Bandits

    Originally posted by sunrise786 View Post
    :| whoever says that about my father better run.

    At the same time I guess some parents make marriage more of an obstacle than it needs to be hence these women falling for the words of the "practicing" brothers.

    May Allah protect us from these vile people.
    Then if a father is not an appropriate wali them the sister should ask a prsctising member of her family, or go straight to the local mosque herself n appoint her own wali.

    But your right there. Anyone who criticises my dad will get a good slap from me

    Leave a comment:


  • Soliloquy
    replied
    Re: Beware of the Marriage Bandits

    Appalling. Does anyone if these people actually consider themselves Muslim or whether they're posing as Muslims? :/ I mean are they truly justifying their actions or were these things they said just to get what they wanted?

    Re. the sisters who find themselves in these situations: Idk what to say, I'm sure it's not that straightforward for all these cases, it seems that sometimes this can be months of manipulation of already vulnerable Sisters for whatever reason. Getting into the situation at first is where they need to make sure they're speaking to people who truly care about them, I've seen how girls can get over a guy who is clearly no good thinking friends just want to destroy their relationship. Once they're in, I can appreciate how difficult it must be to get out, especially probably after isolating their family and the abuse they have been subjected to.

    The justice in countries like the UK just isn't enough, I can't help thinking about what punishment they'd get in an Islamic state. I hope they're bought to justice, despicable animals.

    Leave a comment:


  • Muslimah~S
    replied
    Re: Beware of the Marriage Bandits

    Originally posted by |Sister| View Post
    I agree. It's so easy to say "oh that's so stupid I would never fall for that". It's pure arrogance. Anyone can fall for a trick or become numbed by emotional abuse and manipulation. Even grown men have succumbed to Stockholm syndrome. To mock inexperienced and vulnerable women for being naive is downright disgusting.
    I think it was sister *asiya who had an avatar which said something like don't tell people your problems, 80% don't care and the other 20% are glad you have them. I guess there is some truth in that.

    Leave a comment:


  • Rebel101
    replied
    Re: Beware of the Marriage Bandits

    Originally posted by InTheBegining View Post
    Can we please take it easy on the sisters. Am sure they are just vulnerable people more than naive. There were reverts who didn't really know the deen properly and were mislead. Just say Alhamdulilah Allah sw has not put you in that situation.
    Originally posted by Meriadoc View Post
    :jkk: it's very easy to see it from the outside and say 'she should have done xyz' or 'how silly of her'. Fact of the matter is that when you are in these types of relationships, the guy's manipulation really takes over until you lose all sense of your identity. So much so that even your family can no longer recognise you. You become a shell of your former self. Their emotional, psychological and physical abuse really impacts on your thinking- so rational thoughts may not be there. Particularly if they isolate you from your family etc. You start to believe what they say as being true.
    Originally posted by |Sister| View Post
    I agree. It's so easy to say "oh that's so stupid I would never fall for that". It's pure arrogance. Anyone can fall for a trick or become numbed by emotional abuse and manipulation. Even grown men have succumbed to Stockholm syndrome. To mock inexperienced and vulnerable women for being naive is downright disgusting.
    Okay. I've edited out the ''naive'' part.
    But nowhere did anyone mock them for being naive. We just stated they were.

    Leave a comment:


  • sunrise867
    replied
    Re: Beware of the Marriage Bandits

    Originally posted by MWarrior View Post
    Mainly Muslims but can sometimes be non-Muslims too.

    I've seen some of these brothers... Beard, hat, thowb just below the knees etc - look like 'practicing brothers' but then trying to justify marrying women behind the back of their families because the father is a 'deviant' etc. Allah knows best what drives them to do such actions.
    :| whoever says that about my father better run.

    At the same time I guess some parents make marriage more of an obstacle than it needs to be hence these women falling for the words of the "practicing" brothers.

    May Allah protect us from these vile people.

    Leave a comment:


  • MWarrior
    replied
    Re: Beware of the Marriage Bandits

    Originally posted by sunrise786 View Post
    :,( poor women.

    I have a (silly) question, these "marriage bandits" - are they Muslims or are they Non Muslims pretending to be Muslim?

    If they are Muslims why do they marry several sisters at once? I dnt grt : (
    Mainly Muslims but can sometimes be non-Muslims too.

    I've seen some of these brothers... Beard, hat, thowb just below the knees etc - look like 'practicing brothers' but then trying to justify marrying women behind the back of their families because the father is a 'deviant' etc. Allah knows best what drives them to do such actions.

    Leave a comment:

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