Ads by Muslim Ad Network

Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Really sad...

Collapse
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • #16
    Re: Really sad...

    One more item for single brothers from the college/uni fitnah thread. Some may have it easier and some worse. Whether it's quality of hormone levels they have (nothing bad with being vigorous and full of vitality) or the environment.

    I know school to school, the level of fitnah can also vary, but for the most part this fitnah I am talking about is far greater for western Muslims, what some may consider fitnah in Pakistan or Africa or Gulf countries is a joke in contrast to the fitnah in the west. Regardless, fitnah is still fitnah, but some of us had it worse than others even in the west comparing one environment to another.

    For example, the schools I attended, each one varied in the level of fitnah present. The last college I went to before finishing my program, was hardcore fitnah territory -- ghetto booty territory, in other words... hardcore fitnah environment wherever you turn and whatever you do, one could only endure so much. Yes I am very straight forward and blunt, just to make it well understood. In contrast to 'seeing an ankle' that someone in Yemen might get excited about.

    I gave a long list of different advices as to what brothers can do, but these are merely delays and distractions when the ultimate halal resolution is marriage.

    To restate:

    -Fasting
    -Lowering gaze (which was honestly sometimes a terrible idea going up stairs I'm making it a joke but seriously)
    -Looking in 'opposing directions' (impossible in a crowded campus it becomes paranoid overwhelming makes it worse, there is no where else to look because wherever you look its there)
    -Mind your business and run from class to class as fast as possible
    -Do not overstay in college
    -Out of college hours, go to masjid and be with brothers
    -Be involved in islamic programs, classes, events, conferences, lectures
    -Be involved in sports, martial arts, other physical activities
    -Read qur'an, listen to lectures
    -Avoid media, avoid malls, avoid television


    So there you have it, get married or die fasting. And for those that just advocate fasting, fasting is meant to teach discipline and self-control, it will reduce libido based on the fact that you'll crave food and water more. But that's it. That does not mean a person will still not have desires or be facing a fitnah. Constant starvation is not what the prophet (saw) was advocating. Why? Common-sense, plus the fact that it's not suppose to ruin our health or our hormones, but meant to teach discipline for youth. Youth by definition is a loose definition. Hence I always give the example of the hadith about the sahaba that went on a campaign and the prophet (saw) allowed them to make temporary marriage instead of letting them castrate themselves (which is what they intended to do just to prevent themselves from zina). The prophet (saw) at that moment did not just say "go fast". People need to understand perspective that although the prophet (saw) gave advices, each condition, each situation, each environment and each individual is in a different situation and unless you can grasp that, you have no wisdom in applying knowledge.

    Comment


    • #17
      Re: Really sad...

      Originally posted by Ahmed2013 View Post
      I wish parents would watch this. I find it is cultured parents who do this, from my experience Pakistanis and other Asians. Why is it that Muslims have this parental interference after marriage but when i looked at non believers, i.e. British couples who marry, no parents interfere at all, they just carry on with their lives.

      Comment


      • #18
        Re: Really sad...


        Comment


        • #19
          Re: Really sad...


          Comment


          • #20
            Re: Really sad...

            Must watch lecture, it is long but worth every second, please dedicate some time to watch this whole lecture patiently and benefit from it:


            Comment


            • #21
              Re: Really sad...

              Here's another sad tale: I've recently decided to indefinitely postpone nikaah with my future zawjatiy because of my financial (or lack thereof) and legal situation. Having to slowly rebuild my life after suffering one of the worst tragedies in a persons life, this being the tragic death of my first fiancee, the love of my life, my familial soul mate (not by blood but emotionally and psychologically of course), and being subjected to a nearly decade long hellish nightmare become reality, it has been rather difficult basically starting life over again. So quite suddenly I got engaged to this wonderfully amazing sister, my true love and spiritual soul mate, never expecting to find love again but all the stress and pressure of trying to save for our nikaah and to be able to support a zawjatiy and family has me in a state of near depression. It's been somewhat of a struggle to find permanent employment with a steady income despite being college educated, only finding temporary seasonal work for the time being, and trying to establish savings for nikaah let alone the mahr for my zawjatiy. There is definitely disappointment with my current circumstances but there are people in this world who have it much worse than me and others like me and I count the small blessings I receive from Allaah (swt) as a reason to continue holding out for hope, inshaaAllaah.
              Last edited by @fedayeen; 24-02-15, 10:16 PM.

              Comment

              Working...
              X