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"It's my right to..." & "it's not fard on me to..."

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  • "It's my right to..." & "it's not fard on me to..."

    I hear this alot, not only on this forum, but in my day to day as well.

    Men who dnt wanna marry divorcees with kids.

    Asians that dont want their daughters to marry black brothers.

    Bengalis that dont want their son to marry a white sister.

    Brothers and sisters that dnt wanna deal with in laws.

    You get the picture.

    In all of this madness, where is the rahma?
    Where is the mercy?

    A man who engages in polygamy without speaking to his first wife about it, is told it'd be better if he consulted her, and took her opinions and feelings into consideration.
    He could say "no, it's my right, she doesnt even need to know that I'm gettin married today, 'Aa'isha ra found out about the prophet's saaw marriage on the actual weddin day"

    But would you guys constitute that as him havin mercy on his wife?

    I see many people comin here to complain about various things, but when you dig deeper, seems like we all suffer from double standards to an extent.

    We expect others to have mercy on us, yet we're hesitant to return the favour.

    Everyone's focused on having their rights fulfilled.

    How many of us actually fulfill the rights owed to our spouses?

    We knock a guy for looking after his parents, when we know exactly what status a mother holds and what status a wife holds.

    I used to post a lot in this section, but have been put off by the extreme views and harshness of some of our members.

    The life of the messenger saaw is so vast and comprehensive, that one can present him in any light he chooses.

    Allow the fatwa wars and hadeeth wars.

    This ummah is the ummah of wasata, the middle path.

    We have laymen advising people to divorce without following the rules and principles Islam has placed on these issues.

    Do you realise that you are legislating on behalf of Allah when you say these things?!


    Rant over and apologies if I have offended anyone, it certainly wasnt my intention.
    There is rest only in the aakhira.
    Man will rest in the aakhira according to how hard he strives in dunya.

    - Khaalid Ibn Al Waleed (ra) -

    If you find yourself in a time where speech is regarded as knowledge,
    and knowledge is regarded as deeds,
    then you are in the worst of times, with the worst of people.

    - Abu Hazim Al Ashja'i (ra) -

    I saw a dog without any clothes on .
    That's right, a nude dog.
    The Deepweb is disgusting.
    - Unknown -


    Links
    The Middle Road - At-Tanzil - Hifz Thread - Muslim Healthy Living
    Inheritors of Qur'aan

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  • #2
    Re: "It's my right to..." & "it's not fard on me to..."

    A very timely reminder

    Couldn't say it better myself

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: "It's my right to..." & "it's not fard on me to..."

      :jkk:

      اَللهُمَّ اَرِنَا الْحَقَّ حَقّاً وَّارْزُقْنَا اتِّبَاعَهُ وَاَرِنَا الْبَاطِلَ بَاطِلً وَّرْزُقْنَا اجْتِنَابَهُ
      "Oh Allah! Show us The Truth (as) Truth & Give us the Ability to Follow it & Show us The Falsehood (as) Falsehood & Give us the Ability to Avoid it."
      If knowledge was a justification for taqwa then shaytan would be the most muttaqi - maulana Zahir Mahmood
      'More beloved to me than 23 years of lecturing' Sheikh Ahmed Ali
      Islamic etiquette for social media
      http://youtu.be/VVa7av9eKkY

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: "It's my right to..." & "it's not fard on me to..."

        :jkk:
        ⚔ Even in death may you be triumphant ⚔
        U.F Sadaqah Jariyah Project

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: "It's my right to..." & "it's not fard on me to..."

          Before marrying just make it clear if you want to go through polygamy or not.

          Simples.
          "Try to distance yourself from everything that causes you worry and sadness, so that you may always live with peace of mind and an open and tranquil heart, seeking Allah and His worship and working on your worldly and otherworldly matters, for if you try this, you will find rest.

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: "It's my right to..." & "it's not fard on me to..."

            Originally posted by -Jibril- View Post

            Rant over and apologies if I have offended anyone, it certainly wasnt my intention.
            I pity the fool who apologies for speaking the truth..

            Good post akhi :up:
            Collection of Arabic Learning material and Islamic Books



            Away for a bit :wavey:

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: "It's my right to..." & "it's not fard on me to..."

              JazakAllah khair

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: "It's my right to..." & "it's not fard on me to..."

                Well it is very obvious we haven't taken The Prophet :saw: advice regarding many things

                Marrying for deen most importantly

                Being obsessed with the exterior and materialism

                Racism, and the problems go on and on

                Allahul Musta`an. May Allah help us get rid of the sickness that plagues our hearts, and minds. Ameen.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: "It's my right to..." & "it's not fard on me to..."

                  :jkk:

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: "It's my right to..." & "it's not fard on me to..."

                    Originally posted by Green786 View Post
                    Before marrying just make it clear if you want to go through polygamy or not.

                    Simples.
                    just 1 question ,

                    did the sahabi or any of the 4 jurists say that men ever need to mention teh point of polygamy when getting married or is it something that we must get permission before we do cause now its the 21st century??



                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Re: "It's my right to..." & "it's not fard on me to..."

                      Originally posted by noobz View Post
                      just 1 question ,

                      did the sahabi or any of the 4 jurists say that men ever need to mention teh point of polygamy when getting married or is it something that we must get permission before we do cause now its the 21st century??
                      but there is no point treating us like we were brought up like women from 7th c arabia in the sense that polygamy is not the norm around us, we arent used to seeing it and in what way it works, other people will look at you as if you are an alien and show pity and gossip

                      many women genuinely cant handle being the only one amongst her friends who has less time with her husband because he wants to be with someone else...back then and there polygamy was accepted, people need to be prepared so you should let them know if you already have that intention , it causes less trouble and pain in the long run
                      Last edited by cho09082489; 03-11-13, 06:46 PM.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Re: "It's my right to..." & "it's not fard on me to..."

                        good thread. Jazak Allah Khayr
                        82. Verily, when He intends a thing, His Command is, "be", and it is! 83. So glory to Him in Whose hands is the dominion of all things: and to Him will you be all brought back. Quran surah 36: Ya-sin

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Re: "It's my right to..." & "it's not fard on me to..."

                          Good thread.

                          Shame some people have missed the point though. But that was to be expected.
                          https://sufisticated101.wordpress.com

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Re: "It's my right to..." & "it's not fard on me to..."

                            Originally posted by noobz View Post
                            just 1 question ,

                            did the sahabi or any of the 4 jurists say that men ever need to mention teh point of polygamy when getting married or is it something that we must get permission before we do cause now its the 21st century??
                            Delete
                            Last edited by Green786; 03-11-13, 08:37 PM.
                            "Try to distance yourself from everything that causes you worry and sadness, so that you may always live with peace of mind and an open and tranquil heart, seeking Allah and His worship and working on your worldly and otherworldly matters, for if you try this, you will find rest.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Re: "It's my right to..." & "it's not fard on me to..."

                              Originally posted by noobz View Post
                              just 1 question ,

                              did the sahabi or any of the 4 jurists say that men ever need to mention teh point of polygamy when getting married or is it something that we must get permission before we do cause now its the 21st century??
                              Some just prefer getting married to someone that will only marry once.
                              "Try to distance yourself from everything that causes you worry and sadness, so that you may always live with peace of mind and an open and tranquil heart, seeking Allah and His worship and working on your worldly and otherworldly matters, for if you try this, you will find rest.

                              Comment

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