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What do a western women contribute to a marriage?

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  • #16
    Re: What do a western women contribute to a marriage?

    Originally posted by مسلمة View Post
    The title should read what does a western woman contribute to a marriage, or what do western women contribute to a marriage.
    Yeah, sorry for the typo in the title. Awesome signature by the way.
    Might people are a scourge upon the planet. See what this intelligent man has to say: [url]http://youtu.be/XPehqF1Dg3I[/url]

    Comment


    • #17
      Re: What do a western women contribute to a marriage?

      Originally posted by BitterMo View Post
      While I think career driven women in the west are ruining the ummah you post suggests lots of cultural baggage. First of all Khadija was a career women and the breadwinner, she supported the prophet :saw: financially not the other way round. If you're too proud to think a woman should not support a man or work you have issues. Second we know for a fact the prophet helped around the house and not just in looking after his children, he helped with the chores so again if you're too proud to cook and clean, if you think it's beneath you good luck finding a wife in the West because you're going to need it.
      Brother, I disagree with your first sentence. I know sisters that have worked hard to be where they are now and most of them come from disadvantage backgrounds. They have probably seen their parents struggle financially and it has nothing to do with trying to be better than a man or avoid household duties. I think most women prefer to stay at home and bring up the kids.

      A women's role is not limited to only cooking and cleaning and looking pretty.
      "Try to distance yourself from everything that causes you worry and sadness, so that you may always live with peace of mind and an open and tranquil heart, seeking Allah and His worship and working on your worldly and otherworldly matters, for if you try this, you will find rest.

      Comment


      • #18
        Re: What do a western women contribute to a marriage?

        not all western woman are the feminist type. It may seem like 'freedom' to be a feminist, but in reality they are constantly fighting reality and never learn to find peace with themselves. Some of the western women actually learn to accept the nature of a woman, and live peaceful married lives. This is not just muslims, any woman who really wants to live a happy married life, unknowingly does most of the things that Islam accepts them to do.

        Comment


        • #19
          Re: What do a western women contribute to a marriage?

          Originally posted by BitterMo View Post
          While I think career driven women in the west are ruining the ummah you post suggests lots of cultural baggage. First of all Khadija was a career women and the breadwinner, she supported the prophet :saw: financially not the other way round. If you're too proud to think a woman should not support a man or work you have issues. Second we know for a fact the prophet helped around the house and not just in looking after his children, he helped with the chores so again if you're too proud to cook and clean, if you think it's beneath you good luck finding a wife in the West because you're going to need it. In my experience the men that are so concerned about their wives cooking end up fat and there's nothing more embarrassing than fat men waddling around with slim wives in niqab or hijab.
          salaams to all


          how many times do members have to be corrected about this.
          Haz Khadija (rad) gave up business when Rasullullah(SAW) received nabuwwat

          so she was not a businesswoman when she accepted islam
          she was a businesswoman BEFORE accepting islam

          its mostly sisters though who conveniently try to use her as an excuse/justification to show how their actions are OK etc
          but its invalid either way.

          and Allah ta'ala knows best
          jazakallah
          Sufyaan Thawri "Whoever is very popular with his relations and neighbours, we suspect him to be compromising in preaching the true teachings of religion."
          very good site for English bayaans in MP3 format-check it out- u wont be disappointed: http://www.musjidnoor.za.net/index.html & http://alhaadi.org.za/majlis-program...downloads.html

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          • #20
            Re: What do a western women contribute to a marriage?

            What cake?

            Western women is a broad term, you gotta be specific. Or better yet just say 'some women in the west'.

            By western women do you mean Muslim women in the west or western women in general?

            Not sure how such discussions can go without making us look like we're horrible women who care only about Dunya and ourselves.

            So long as you know what qualities and stuff you want in a wife then ask Allah and keep making dua even if she's in the west or Far East.

            I know good sisters, may Allah bless them always, who are not within the awful generalisation of western born/brought up muslimahs.

            لا تفكر كثيرا
            بل استغفر كثيرا

            -------------------------------------------------------
            The children need your prayers more than anyone else
            -------------------------------------------------------
            www.inheritorsofquran.wordpress.com

            Comment


            • #21
              Re: What do a western women contribute to a marriage?

              Originally posted by abc123d View Post
              not all western woman are the feminist type. It may seem like 'freedom' to be a feminist, but in reality they are constantly fighting reality and never learn to find peace with themselves. Some of the western women actually learn to accept the nature of a woman, and live peaceful married lives. This is not just muslims, any woman who really wants to live a happy married life, unknowingly does most of the things that Islam accepts them to do.
              Youre completely right brother. I know many married couples in my city living harmonious lives because the husband and wife both understand their role in the marriage. And at the same time, I hear stories about couples divorcing over petty things and usually its the fault of the woman.

              The whole reason I started this topic is because ive been meeting with rishtas that have no clue what their contribution to a marriage is while making outrageous financial demands. If a wife has a right to maintenance, then a husband has a right to be obeyed and followed and that includes taking care of his property.
              Might people are a scourge upon the planet. See what this intelligent man has to say: [url]http://youtu.be/XPehqF1Dg3I[/url]

              Comment


              • #22
                Re: What do a western women contribute to a marriage?

                Originally posted by Khano View Post
                I hear often from westerners that Khadijah was a career women but can anyone substantiate that with proof? Khadijah passed away before hijrah and much of the shari laws came down afterwards, so you cant really use her as a basis for your argument.
                It is not just westerners who say this.

                http://www.erfan.ir/31952.html

                Khadija whole-heartedly supported the Prophet's cause by placing her wealth at his disposal. Almighty God has praised that by addressing the Prophet: "Did We not find you in need and made your free of need?" (93:8) It was through Khadija's wealth that the Almighty made the Prophet self-sufficient in his financial needs.
                “She believed in me when the whole world refuted me and she attested to my veracity when the whole world accused me of falsehood. She offered me compassion and loyalty with her wealth when everyone else had forsaken me.” (The Holy Prophet Muhammad). [Musnad Ahmad, Vol.6, p.117 Qasira.]

                Comment


                • #23
                  Re: What do a western women contribute to a marriage?

                  Originally posted by Khano View Post
                  Youre completely right brother. I know many married couples in my city living harmonious lives because the husband and wife both understand their role in the marriage. And at the same time, I hear stories about couples divorcing over petty things and usually its the fault of the woman.

                  The whole reason I started this topic is because ive been meeting with rishtas that have no clue what their contribution to a marriage is while making outrageous financial demands. If a wife has a right to maintenance, then a husband has a right to be obeyed and followed and that includes taking care of his property.
                  Exactly. Every man and woman (Western, eastern, european, any non-muslim, etc.) know inside that if they followed the roles of a husband and wife as described by Islam, they would live a peaceful marriage. But they arrogantly try to deny this even though they know the reasons which lead them to constantly argue, fight and divorce.

                  Comment


                  • #24
                    Re: What do a western women contribute to a marriage?

                    Originally posted by F_R View Post
                    What cake?

                    Western women is a broad term, you gotta be specific. Or better yet just say 'some women in the west'.

                    By western women do you mean Muslim women in the west or western women in general?

                    Not sure how such discussions can go without making us look like we're horrible women who care only about Dunya and ourselves.

                    So long as you know what qualities and stuff you want in a wife then ask Allah and keep making dua even if she's in the west or Far East.

                    I know good sisters, may Allah bless them always, who are not within the awful generalization of western born/brought up muslimahs.
                    By western women I mean Muslim women brought up and raised in the West whove been affected by feminism to some degree. The kind that wants her husband to spend on her (as is her Islamic right) while neglecting her half of the marriage. The kind that refuses to cook and clean and think its demeaning to her although her own mother handled the affairs of the household without any complaints. The kind that expects you to pull in a good salary and come home tired and hungry while she's upset and grumpy although she hasnt done a single thing all day. The kind that expects you to overlook her many glaring faults but god help you if she sees one thing she dislikes in you. That kind of spoiled brat, diva western woman.

                    If I wanted a roommate, I would put up an ad on craigslist and Id expect them to pay their share of the bills. But Im looking for a wife.
                    Last edited by Khano; 21-07-13, 10:28 PM.
                    Might people are a scourge upon the planet. See what this intelligent man has to say: [url]http://youtu.be/XPehqF1Dg3I[/url]

                    Comment


                    • #25
                      Re: What do a western women contribute to a marriage?

                      Originally posted by Khano View Post
                      Youre completely right brother. I know many married couples in my city living harmonious lives because the husband and wife both understand their role in the marriage. And at the same time, I hear stories about couples divorcing over petty things and usually its the fault of the woman.

                      The whole reason I started this topic is because ive been meeting with rishtas that have no clue what their contribution to a marriage is while making outrageous financial demands. If a wife has a right to maintenance, then a husband has a right to be obeyed and followed and that includes taking care of his property.
                      Ohhh. Maybe this is a reflection of their deeni commitment as opposed to their geographical location.

                      لا تفكر كثيرا
                      بل استغفر كثيرا

                      -------------------------------------------------------
                      The children need your prayers more than anyone else
                      -------------------------------------------------------
                      www.inheritorsofquran.wordpress.com

                      Comment


                      • #26
                        Re: What do a western women contribute to a marriage?

                        Maybe you are looking in the wrong place brother. If we all make threads about ridiculous marriage proposals and demands, there would be an awful lot of threads. Not all men and women in the west are the same, although it does feel like at times. You will find sisters in the west who are finding it difficult to get married for the very reasons that you mentioned - brothers and their families want the sister to have a degree or to be working, and she is not.

                        Keep making du'aa to Allah and now is the perfect time, during ramadhaan.

                        Comment


                        • #27
                          Re: What do a western women contribute to a marriage?

                          Okay. so first things first the OP' posts are valid points and concerns.
                          It's very true, I'm a female and I can hoenstly testify that some muslimah's nowadays are not educated about their responsibilties as the maintainer of the household. But honestly, not all western muslim women, I do not like phrasing 'western' with muslimahs because many PRACTICING , EMPHASIS ON PRACTICING muslimahs do understand there responsibilties and are more than willing to fulfill them. Seriously, anyone who says we're all like that just hasnt looked far enough.

                          Plus, keep in mind that most women who understand their duties will not be found in places which incur Allah's wrath, meaning u wont find them hanging in street corners. They leave their homes with a need, a purpose and return back to their homes. You wont find them laughing out loud in bus stops, or having a very speculative chat with non mahrams. They are protected by Allah's leave. Remember this, because most males I believe forget it and base their judgements on what they see of the muslimah's outside.

                          I believe alot of males should take note of the OP's outlook in terms of bieng willing to support his wife. This is a biggie, and does cause alot of downfalls in marriages, either the guy is super stingy or just a big lazy bum and hence women get sick of them, work themselves, struggle and eventually it pans out to a divorce. You should be generous upon your wives, make them beautiful, spend on them, trust me a man who showers his wife with love will gain respect in return. I wish I could testify to this but since I'm unmarried I cant, but I know for sure that women love being cherished, held and given security. Many men fail in thsi regard.

                          In summary: muslimahs living in the west are not idotic uneducated morons. Men should not generalize and should strive to fulfill their own responsibilties.

                          Comment


                          • #28
                            Re: What do a western women contribute to a marriage?

                            Originally posted by Green786 View Post
                            Brother, I disagree with your first sentence. I know sisters that have worked hard to be where they are now and most of them come from disadvantage backgrounds. They have probably seen their parents struggle financially and it has nothing to do with trying to be better than a man or avoid household duties. I think most women prefer to stay at home and bring up the kids.

                            A women's role is not limited to only cooking and cleaning and looking pretty.
                            Working hard is very different to building a career then looking for a spouse with a professional background. Western women don't realise or appreciate men have more responsibilities, eldest sons especially. They have to support their parents then marry and support a second family. Why do you think so many brothers have modest jobs? Because they need to work, they need to put food on the table. It's much easier for sisters to concentrate on their studies because they usually don't have these responsibilities before marriage and that's exactly why we have a 'spinster' crisis in the west. Career women looking for career men who generally don't exist.

                            Comment


                            • #29
                              Re: What do a western women contribute to a marriage?

                              Originally posted by F_R View Post
                              Ohhh. Maybe this is a reflection of their deeni commitment as opposed to their geographical location.
                              Maybe so but my experience with this corrupt mentality is limited to only western women. Is it not true that many sisters in the West have this idea that piety is something abstract and separate from listening and obeying the husband and being a good wife. As if one can be a good muslimah while disobeying and angering her husband. Thats like claiming to be a good muslim while trampling upon the rights of the people and having atrocious manners.
                              Might people are a scourge upon the planet. See what this intelligent man has to say: [url]http://youtu.be/XPehqF1Dg3I[/url]

                              Comment


                              • #30
                                Re: What do a western women contribute to a marriage?

                                Originally posted by aomar120 View Post
                                Okay. so first things first the OP' posts are valid points and concerns.
                                It's very true, I'm a female and I can hoenstly testify that some muslimah's nowadays are not educated about their responsibilties as the maintainer of the household. But honestly, not all western muslim women, I do not like phrasing 'western' with muslimahs because many PRACTICING , EMPHASIS ON PRACTICING muslimahs do understand there responsibilties and are more than willing to fulfill them. Seriously, anyone who says we're all like that just hasnt looked far enough.

                                Plus, keep in mind that most women who understand their duties will not be found in places which incur Allah's wrath, meaning u wont find them hanging in street corners. They leave their homes with a need, a purpose and return back to their homes. You wont find them laughing out loud in bus stops, or having a very speculative chat with non mahrams. They are protected by Allah's leave. Remember this, because most males I believe forget it and base their judgements on what they see of the muslimah's outside.

                                I believe alot of males should take note of the OP's outlook in terms of bieng willing to support his wife. This is a biggie, and does cause alot of downfalls in marriages, either the guy is super stingy or just a big lazy bum and hence women get sick of them, work themselves, struggle and eventually it pans out to a divorce. You should be generous upon your wives, make them beautiful, spend on them, trust me a man who showers his wife with love will gain respect in return. I wish I could testify to this but since I'm unmarried I cant, but I know for sure that women love being cherished, held and given security. Many men fail in thsi regard.

                                In summary: muslimahs living in the west are not idotic uneducated morons. Men should not generalize and should strive to fulfill their own responsibilties.
                                Fantastic post Youve given me renewed hope that there are decent sisters in the West.
                                Might people are a scourge upon the planet. See what this intelligent man has to say: [url]http://youtu.be/XPehqF1Dg3I[/url]

                                Comment

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