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Processing of getting married is brutal...

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    #31
    Re: Processing of getting married is brutal...

    Oh my days, looks aren't everything when it comes to marriage. And it's upto Allah. Allah created you. So are you saying he is unjust? Yes, even if people did find physically attractive, it does not equate to happiness, would you be happy such insincerity that you will receive?

    Lastly, I want to say, it's widely reported, you can go check yourself about the Muslim man who has a lot of tumours all around his body as well as his face and he is happily married with kids as well.
    8 powerful habits to succeed


    1. Wake up early!
    2. Do it as soon as possible, you could die tonight so make the best of today
    3. Remember your life is unique, don't compare yourself to others. Use that jealousy as an energy to make your life a success"
    4. Have healthy habits. Set a time each day to exercise. Try with the mindset you're only going to do some jumping jacks for 5 seconds and the next thing you know, you're doing a workout!
    5. Read, read, read. Ponder over the Qur'an, learn more. Put the idiot box (TV) away
    6. Take note. Desires make slaves out of kings and patience makes kings out of slaves.
    7. Results aren't just worldly. Results are also about perseverance, retaining dignity, being honest, being honourable, doing good unto others.
    8. Always encourage others especially our brothers and sisters, let them know making mistakes is okay, we all make mistakes, do not ever undermine them and make them feel incompetent. This id also true for the dunya, so what if they don't get the maths sum right the first time, that is what LEARNING is.

    NEW UPDATE

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dJubtizAEfU


    Watch this when you're distressed!

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      #32
      Re: Processing of getting married is brutal...

      Man! am so glad i saw this forum after marriage. Someone who is thinking of getting married and comes across this site, will think marrying or finding a spouse will be an impossible task and thats only because people come on here when they find it difficult to marry or cant find a spouse , not those who have had the opposite experience and found marriage to be a smooth process and want to give an excellent testimonial. We only get the moaners here. We need some positives to even things out.
      Believe none of what you hear, and only half of what you see.

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        #33
        Re: Processing of getting married is brutal...

        As Salaam Ulaikum Wr Wb

        Honestly, all i can do is pray for you brother. Be hopeful, confident and remember that Allah is the best planner.

        May Allah make it easy for you and everyone else, bless all of us with pious, caring, loving and honest partners. Ameen

        Comment


          #34
          Re: Processing of getting married is brutal...

          To the guys worrying about looks, shyness, awkwardness etc... DON'T!

          Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. What one person considers beautiful another may not.

          Also I know A LOT of brothers who were shy, awkward and not what is perceived as "handsome" (which is purely media rubbish being thrown at us from all directions) yet they found spouses and are living happy lives Masha'Allah.

          The process can be tough, nobody likes being rejected for any reason but put your trust in Allah and His decree and you'll be fine.

          Comment


            #35
            Re: Processing of getting married is brutal...

            Originally posted by kiduka View Post
            That's where I believe I'll fail, and I'm not handsome just average.

            My problem is I'm naturally shy and quite, if I be myself it would be very awkward but if I step outside the box and engage with her firstly I would need a script but she would later find that I'm this quite guy and be upset about it.

            Either way I'm screwed lol ...But if Allah (swt) wills it, it will happen nonetheless
            nothing wrong with being shy and quiet, theres no set way to "be" everyone is different, and theres someone for everyone alhamdulillah. sabr and trust in Allah ta ala, is the key .
            "O you who believe! Stand out firmly for justice, as witnesses to Allah, even as against yourselves, or your parents, or your kin, and whether it be (against) rich or poor: for Allah can best protect both. Follow not the lusts (of your hearts), lest you swerve, and if you distort (justice) or decline to do justice, verily Allah is well-acquainted with all that you do." [An-Nisa 4:135]

            The Prophet :saw: said:

            "Whosoever leaves off obedience and separates from the Jamaa'ah and dies, he dies a death of jaahiliyyah. Whoever fights under the banner of the blind, becoming angry for 'asabiyyah (nationalism/tribalism/partisanship) or calling to 'asabiyyah, or assisting 'asabiyyah, then dies, he dies a death of jaahiliyyah."

            muslim

            Narrated 'Abdullah:

            The Prophet, said, "Abusing a Muslim is Fusuq (evil doing) and killing him is Kufr (disbelief)." sahih bukhari


            "Creeping upon you is the diseases of those people before you: envy and hatred. And hatred is the thing that shaves. I do not say it shaves the hair but it shaves the religion!

            By the One in whose Hand is my soul, you will not enter paradise until you believe, and you will not believe until you love one another. Certainly, let me inform you of that which may establish such things: spread the greetings and peace among yourselves."

            [Recorded by Imam Ahmad and Al-Tirmidhi]

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              #36
              Re: Processing of getting married is brutal...

              بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم السلام عليكم و رحمة الله و بركاته

              Just think how amazing it will be when someone comes back with a yep after all the rejections though الحمد لله

              Try not to jump up and punch the air and do a lil dance round the room. Just be stoic and calm lulz


              Comment


                #37
                Re: Processing of getting married is brutal...

                Walaikam Aslam bro, don't feel too down or dejected by the whole marriage seeking saga...use every rejection to your advantage and take it as a compliment because Allah Subhana T'Allah knows you inside out, he knows you better than anyone so long as you feel his rehmat on you then you have nothing to fear. Allah has plans for all of us, some of us may never marry because Allah may determine a different path for us. We should be thankful for this test, I am going through the exact same thing you are bruv so take it with a pinch of salt and whilst the search continues strengthen your deen and imaan, take up a new activity such as martial arts, boxing, join a cooking a class (your future wify will be proper impressed if you can cook) learn about the rights of a husband and wife in Islam, if you can afford it go on a nice holiday, chill out, relax or if you haven't already then look towards the ultimate journey.....Hajj :up:
                Last edited by shezad; 16-03-13, 06:10 PM. Reason: Spelling mistake
                He who loses money, loses much.

                He who loses a friend, loses more.

                He who loses faith, loses ALL.

                Comment


                  #38
                  Re: Processing of getting married is brutal...

                  At the end of the day Allah (swt) does only that what is best for us. If you get rejected by someone its because Allah (swt) has someone better in store for us or maybe because there was some harm in marrying that person like it wouldn't work out too well. We should trust Allah (swt) and be happy with whatever he decrees for us.

                  Comment


                    #39
                    Re: Processing of getting married is brutal...

                    Originally posted by ssh View Post
                    بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم السلام عليكم و رحمة الله و بركاته

                    Just think how amazing it will be when someone comes back with a yep after all the rejections though الحمد لله

                    Try not to jump up and punch the air and do a lil dance round the room. Just be stoic and calm lulz
                    That can happen sometimes just after seeing someone you finally like. Don't bother if they said yes or not yet.
                    Blessed is He in Whose Hand is the Dominion, and He is Able to do all things. (67.1)

                    Comment


                      #40
                      Re: Processing of getting married is brutal...

                      salamo alaikom
                      thank you for this great topic !

                      Comment


                        #41
                        Re: Processing of getting married is brutal...

                        Originally posted by inprogress View Post
                        That can happen sometimes just after seeing someone you finally like. Don't bother if they said yes or not yet.
                        Mabrook, lets hope he says yes.

                        Comment


                          #42
                          Re: Processing of getting married is brutal...

                          Originally posted by cooldog View Post
                          Mabrook, lets hope he says yes.
                          It's not even that and don't remind me..... just make dua for me inshAllah.
                          Blessed is He in Whose Hand is the Dominion, and He is Able to do all things. (67.1)

                          Comment


                            #43
                            Re: Processing of getting married is brutal...

                            P.S I forgot to mention one other thing:

                            Bro if your deen and imaan is correct and you do everything in your life to please the almighty then Inshallah you will come across a Muslimah whom will see this great charachteristic in you and thus will not hesitate to become your wife.

                            You see there are many many good muslim women out there who see passed all the exterior finery of a man, they are not as materialistic minded as some, this is the type of Muslimah we should seek: They are strong hearted, god fearing, Islamically inclined and if they have made mistakes in the passed (Like ALL us muslims have) they would've made peace with their maker and moved swiftly forward towards their deen which will in turn grant them Jannah Inshallah.

                            Bro like yourself I have been rejected by countless Muslim women (May Allah bless them with better men than me) and in return I just smile and accept it because our blessed Prophet Muhammad Salil La Ho Walahi Waslam (Peace Be Upon Him) taught us to be humble, have humility, be good in charachter and treat all of our fellow Muslims with kindness.

                            I pray Allah Subhana T'Allah blesses you with an excellent wife very very very soon Inshallah. Ameen.

                            Tc for now Bro, if you need a chat etc holler any time :up:

                            Shezad
                            He who loses money, loses much.

                            He who loses a friend, loses more.

                            He who loses faith, loses ALL.

                            Comment


                              #44
                              Re: Processing of getting married is brutal...

                              Originally posted by inprogress View Post
                              It's not even that and don't remind me..... just make dua for me inshAllah.
                              Ok , make dua for me as well.

                              Comment


                                #45
                                Re: Processing of getting married is brutal...

                                Originally posted by inprogress View Post
                                That can happen sometimes just after seeing someone you finally like. Don't bother if they said yes or not yet.
                                I've experienced that, was difficult to deal with when the other side said no. So now I just always mentally brace myself for a 'no' after seeing a potential. Makes the blow easier to take.

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