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Processing of getting married is brutal...

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    #16
    Re: Processing of getting married is brutal...

    I thought it was going to be EXTREMELY hard for me, being a revert with a son who was 4 but alhamdulillah it only took about 1 year to find a husband.
    Fabi-ayyiala -i rabbikuma tukaththibani
    Then which of the favors of your Lord will ye deny?
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vr8DR8frP_s

    You are not here just to fill space or to be a background character in someone else's movie. Consider this: nothing would be the same if you did not exist. Every place you have ever been and everyone you have ever spoken to would be different without you. We are all connected, and we are all affected by the decisions and even the existence of those around us.

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      #17
      Re: Processing of getting married is brutal...

      Originally posted by inprogress View Post
      I agree the marriage process is tough. I don't really have the problem with being rejected, rejecting others can be really difficult though.

      My issue is more like every time a potential comes around I find myself having to examine my values and think about if such and such thing I never put much thought into is really important or not. It's stressful, but it helps me get a clearer vision of what's important to me. Make dua for me.
      I find it difficult to reject others too.

      Comment


        #18
        Re: Processing of getting married is brutal...

        Originally posted by Fairy View Post
        dont worry when you meet the one that is meant for you, she will accept all of you

        and trust me girls who reject feel bad for rejecting

        ive even prayed for guys ive rejected and asked Allah to give them the best and many of them have gone on to marry

        the whole process of meeting and getting to know is a nightmare, trust me we all go through it

        do u ever get feedback?
        Feedback? I wish. Do u?

        Comment


          #19
          Re: Processing of getting married is brutal...

          Originally posted by F_R View Post
          Lol they do that at all schools here don't they we had a detention system where you got a slip and were isolated onto a bridge part lol. That was our suspension, watching the rest of the kids play whilst we were looking from the prisons of the bridge window

          LailaTheMuslim will know what I'm on about lol.
          This school with a 'bridge' - it's not in East London is it?

          Comment


            #20
            Re: Processing of getting married is brutal...

            Originally posted by Fairy View Post
            wow and i thought I went to an awful school
            Awful? That was and I think still is the best school in this city...fine it my borough it's the best, my heart will forever be there *wipes tear*
            Originally posted by wisdom-17 View Post
            This school with a 'bridge' - it's not in East London is it?
            My honest reaction to this is 'eew no'

            لا تفكر كثيرا
            بل استغفر كثيرا

            -------------------------------------------------------
            The children need your prayers more than anyone else
            -------------------------------------------------------
            www.inheritorsofquran.wordpress.com

            Comment


              #21
              Re: Processing of getting married is brutal...

              Originally posted by F_R View Post
              Awful? That was and I think still is the best school in this city...fine it my borough it's the best, my heart will forever be there *wipes tear*


              My honest reaction to this is 'eew no'
              Can see why east London provokes that reaction but it's not that bad.

              Comment


                #22
                Re: Processing of getting married is brutal...

                I think people have too much criteria nowadays. I have 3 daughters who are still young but when they are adults and if a brother asks for one of my daughters for their son I will make istikhara make some quick enquries about the brothers character and that he regularly attends the masjid and if my daughter is attracted/accepts then I will go ahead inshaAllah. It should be that straight forward. Questions like income and dunia stuff shouldn't come into it. Lets see what happens when it comes to the crunch, inshaAllah I will go ahead as planned.

                Comment


                  #23
                  Re: Processing of getting married is brutal...

                  Originally posted by wisdom-17 View Post
                  I find it soo confidence sapping when I get rejected after seeing a potential, probably because I think I got rejected based on my looks (I'm a brother btw).

                  Guessing it must be worse for sisters as brothers take looks into account more than them.
                  Or if others consider yourself to be good looking, you never know if people like you for you, or if your looks only. So don't really look at that.
                  8 powerful habits to succeed


                  1. Wake up early!
                  2. Do it as soon as possible, you could die tonight so make the best of today
                  3. Remember your life is unique, don't compare yourself to others. Use that jealousy as an energy to make your life a success"
                  4. Have healthy habits. Set a time each day to exercise. Try with the mindset you're only going to do some jumping jacks for 5 seconds and the next thing you know, you're doing a workout!
                  5. Read, read, read. Ponder over the Qur'an, learn more. Put the idiot box (TV) away
                  6. Take note. Desires make slaves out of kings and patience makes kings out of slaves.
                  7. Results aren't just worldly. Results are also about perseverance, retaining dignity, being honest, being honourable, doing good unto others.
                  8. Always encourage others especially our brothers and sisters, let them know making mistakes is okay, we all make mistakes, do not ever undermine them and make them feel incompetent. This id also true for the dunya, so what if they don't get the maths sum right the first time, that is what LEARNING is.

                  NEW UPDATE

                  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dJubtizAEfU


                  Watch this when you're distressed!

                  Comment


                    #24
                    Re: Processing of getting married is brutal...

                    Originally posted by Magic. View Post
                    Or if others consider yourself to be good looking, you never know if people like you for you, or if your looks only. So don't really look at that.
                    When seeking a partner, surely physical attraction should play a part?

                    If you're referring to general life, I'm guessing you're talking about females? Because I don't know any guys that are friends with another guy just because he is good looking.

                    Comment


                      #25
                      Re: Processing of getting married is brutal...

                      Originally posted by wisdom-17 View Post
                      When seeking a partner, surely physical attraction should play a part?

                      If you're referring to general life, I'm guessing you're talking about females? Because I don't know any guys that are friends with another guy just because he is good looking.
                      Let me try to put into perspective. If people consider one good looking, they'll treat you differently, because you look that way- whether it be men or women.

                      But, that's the issue, it's shallow. And appearances can be deceptive.
                      Last edited by Magic.; 16-03-13, 09:40 PM.
                      8 powerful habits to succeed


                      1. Wake up early!
                      2. Do it as soon as possible, you could die tonight so make the best of today
                      3. Remember your life is unique, don't compare yourself to others. Use that jealousy as an energy to make your life a success"
                      4. Have healthy habits. Set a time each day to exercise. Try with the mindset you're only going to do some jumping jacks for 5 seconds and the next thing you know, you're doing a workout!
                      5. Read, read, read. Ponder over the Qur'an, learn more. Put the idiot box (TV) away
                      6. Take note. Desires make slaves out of kings and patience makes kings out of slaves.
                      7. Results aren't just worldly. Results are also about perseverance, retaining dignity, being honest, being honourable, doing good unto others.
                      8. Always encourage others especially our brothers and sisters, let them know making mistakes is okay, we all make mistakes, do not ever undermine them and make them feel incompetent. This id also true for the dunya, so what if they don't get the maths sum right the first time, that is what LEARNING is.

                      NEW UPDATE

                      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dJubtizAEfU


                      Watch this when you're distressed!

                      Comment


                        #26
                        Re: Processing of getting married is brutal...

                        Originally posted by Magic. View Post
                        Let me try to put into perspective. If people consider one good looking, they'll treat you differently, because you look that way- whether it be men or women.
                        Ah I see where you're coming from. It's an interesting point which makes me think.

                        Sometimes it's easy to spot this behaviour, they just don't sound sincere or genuine when they speak and also observing them when they interact with others would also give them away.

                        Comment


                          #27
                          Re: Processing of getting married is brutal...

                          Originally posted by wisdom-17 View Post
                          When seeking a partner, surely physical attraction should play a part?

                          If you're referring to general life, I'm guessing you're talking about females? Because I don't know any guys that are friends with another guy just because he is good looking.
                          It's interesting you say that actually. I remember reading a study not long ago about how we subconsciously choose friends who are of a similar level of attractiveness to us.
                          :sub: wabihamdihi:sub:hiladheem

                          Comment


                            #28
                            Re: Processing of getting married is brutal...

                            Originally posted by wisdom-17 View Post
                            Ah I see where you're coming from. It's an interesting point which makes me think.

                            Sometimes it's easy to spot this behaviour, they just don't sound sincere or genuine when they speak and also observing them when they interact with others would also give them away.
                            Yes, and imagine you're being treated that way. Does it make you feel worthy of anything in life that people aren't treating you honestly as the way you'd like to be treated as a human?
                            8 powerful habits to succeed


                            1. Wake up early!
                            2. Do it as soon as possible, you could die tonight so make the best of today
                            3. Remember your life is unique, don't compare yourself to others. Use that jealousy as an energy to make your life a success"
                            4. Have healthy habits. Set a time each day to exercise. Try with the mindset you're only going to do some jumping jacks for 5 seconds and the next thing you know, you're doing a workout!
                            5. Read, read, read. Ponder over the Qur'an, learn more. Put the idiot box (TV) away
                            6. Take note. Desires make slaves out of kings and patience makes kings out of slaves.
                            7. Results aren't just worldly. Results are also about perseverance, retaining dignity, being honest, being honourable, doing good unto others.
                            8. Always encourage others especially our brothers and sisters, let them know making mistakes is okay, we all make mistakes, do not ever undermine them and make them feel incompetent. This id also true for the dunya, so what if they don't get the maths sum right the first time, that is what LEARNING is.

                            NEW UPDATE

                            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dJubtizAEfU


                            Watch this when you're distressed!

                            Comment


                              #29
                              Re: Processing of getting married is brutal...

                              Originally posted by wisdom-17 View Post
                              Can see why east London provokes that reaction but it's not that bad.
                              It's my inbuilt west London loyalty nature, can't help it

                              لا تفكر كثيرا
                              بل استغفر كثيرا

                              -------------------------------------------------------
                              The children need your prayers more than anyone else
                              -------------------------------------------------------
                              www.inheritorsofquran.wordpress.com

                              Comment


                                #30
                                Re: Processing of getting married is brutal...

                                Hah I don't know what it'll be like for me.
                                I hate lies and superficiality and so I hate to pretend to be someone I am not just for the sake of pleasing someone.
                                I'm generally quite shy and even awkward at times. I don't talk much as I hate gossip and that's what I find most people talk about these days. I suppose I have a tendency of pushing people away from me not long after they spend some time with mentor whatever reason. Neither am I physically what women tend to find attractive. I supposed I am doomed when its gonna come to finding a wife!

                                But then I've learned to not let people get me and move on. Only thing is I sometimes wonder if I'll stay single forever. Well, i'll go with whatever Allah (swt) decreed for me.

                                Comment

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