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    Give "ugly" girls a chance

    I thought I'll share this post someone had written online:

    So i've been reading a lot of the statuses in my news feed, and the main theme today seems to be about men being indecisive over the girl he wants and how they can make a girl feel so ugly because another girl is more prettier. It makes me so sad to realize that a man will be so picky with a girl's physical outlook and will leave her, even if she's a good person, just because she isn't pretty enough. While a girl can actually give an 'unattractive' guy a chance because he's funny, has a great personality or has a great character. I understand that men are visual creatures, but can't they for a second judge a woman by her heart and character. If you were blind, do you really think you'd go for a 'sexy' girl? No. You'd go for the girl who treats you like a king and gives you respect and appreciation. You guys need someone who makes you feel like a man and acts like a loving loyal lady. If SOME of you men keep going for a girl's look, and base your relationship off of attraction; I will guarantee you that the relationship may not last so long if she isn't the kind to have a brain and fights over everything and always wants it her way; you'll start to find many irritating and annoying things that you will start to dislike about her. Do you want a woman like that to be your children's mother? If looks are the only thing you go for I'm sure the girl will be taking care of herself more than she takes care of you and your kids. When time moves along and she ages, will she look the same? Nope. She'll get wrinkles and her body will morph into something you may not like to look at, and on top of that she still got that unattractive personality to match her. Would you still stick with a woman like that? It really irritates me when men leave a good woman for another just because of appearance. Stop having high expectancy when most girls would lower their expectancy just to fit to where you are in their list. I know from personal experience, I lowered my standard every time when I find a potential. But I always end up being their "low standard" and they wouldn't compromise their expectancy for me like I did for them. A woman with a good heart will make your soul tremble with love. Just give them a chance. Their personality can shape them into the most beautiful woman alive for all you know. She can be exactly what you always wanted in your dream wife. Sometimes great things can come in ugly packages. So you'll never know if she's the one if you don't 'buy' the ugly package and 'unwrap' what's hidden.

    What do you think?

    #2
    Re: Give "ugly" girls a chance

    yes
    They say good things come to those who wait, so imma be at least an hour late

    Comment


      #3
      Re: Give "ugly" girls a chance

      Ain't nobody got time fo' dat
      إن للمتقين مفازا

      Comment


        #4
        Re: Give "ugly" girls a chance

        Just give up already. It's genetics, and you can't change genetics. Don't pay attention and dont forget that such men aren't a loss at all. Take it as a natural selection of idiots.

        What's the point of marrying a guy who asks you bra size? None
        My Blog http://historyeyesopened.tumblr.com/ Watch out sister Nousername
        Ummah forum mentality depiction by BBC (warning) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LS37SNYjg8w

        Comment


          #5
          Re: Give "ugly" girls a chance

          Originally posted by Massilia View Post
          Just give up already. It's genetics, and you can't change genetics. Don't pay attention and dont forget that such men aren't a loss at all. Take it as a natural selection of idiots.

          What's the point of marrying a guy who asks you bra size? None
          no man asks another women her bra size, you just exagarate
          Last edited by ibzy; 30-01-13, 04:24 PM.
          They say good things come to those who wait, so imma be at least an hour late

          Comment


            #6
            Re: Give "ugly" girls a chance

            ^But the ones that do aren't worth thinking about, is what she's getting at.

            Ibn Umar was asked, “Did the sahaba laugh?” He said, “Yes, and the faith in their hearts was like mountains.”

            "You can not be the ummah that will call the world to goodness if you hate everybody else" - Nouman Ali Khan

            Comment


              #7
              Re: Give "ugly" girls a chance

              I think it works both ways. Women judge by looks as well

              Comment


                #8
                Re: Give "ugly" girls a chance

                Originally posted by Salams2All View Post
                ^But the ones that do aren't worth thinking about, is what she's getting at.
                yhh i agree, maybe i didnt read it properly
                They say good things come to those who wait, so imma be at least an hour late

                Comment


                  #9
                  Re: Give "ugly" girls a chance

                  Originally posted by DaughterOfAdam View Post
                  I thought I'll share this post someone had written online:

                  So i've been reading a lot of the statuses in my news feed, and the main theme today seems to be about men being indecisive over the girl he wants and how they can make a girl feel so ugly because another girl is more prettier. It makes me so sad to realize that a man will be so picky with a girl's physical outlook and will leave her, even if she's a good person, just because she isn't pretty enough. While a girl can actually give an 'unattractive' guy a chance because he's funny, has a great personality or has a great character. I understand that men are visual creatures, but can't they for a second judge a woman by her heart and character. If you were blind, do you really think you'd go for a 'sexy' girl? No. You'd go for the girl who treats you like a king and gives you respect and appreciation. You guys need someone who makes you feel like a man and acts like a loving loyal lady. If SOME of you men keep going for a girl's look, and base your relationship off of attraction; I will guarantee you that the relationship may not last so long if she isn't the kind to have a brain and fights over everything and always wants it her way; you'll start to find many irritating and annoying things that you will start to dislike about her. Do you want a woman like that to be your children's mother? If looks are the only thing you go for I'm sure the girl will be taking care of herself more than she takes care of you and your kids. When time moves along and she ages, will she look the same? Nope. She'll get wrinkles and her body will morph into something you may not like to look at, and on top of that she still got that unattractive personality to match her. Would you still stick with a woman like that? It really irritates me when men leave a good woman for another just because of appearance. Stop having high expectancy when most girls would lower their expectancy just to fit to where you are in their list. I know from personal experience, I lowered my standard every time when I find a potential. But I always end up being their "low standard" and they wouldn't compromise their expectancy for me like I did for them. A woman with a good heart will make your soul tremble with love. Just give them a chance. Their personality can shape them into the most beautiful woman alive for all you know. She can be exactly what you always wanted in your dream wife. Sometimes great things can come in ugly packages. So you'll never know if she's the one if you don't 'buy' the ugly package and 'unwrap' what's hidden.

                  What do you think?
                  Yeah its interesting, I mean personally I wouldn't just leave a person because they are not attractive that would have effects on the person, make them feel useless and ugly; as a saying goes not sure where I heard it but there are different sides to a square, don't look at things from one perspective.

                  However you do get different types of people who will judge a person simply on their looks and ignore other aspects such as character and deen. But also I think the very people are worried because marriage basically means you will be spending your entire life with that person, so its best things be sorted out before.

                  I'm a male myself and do agree that there are very stingy males out there, but there are others who will be willing to overlook flaws and accept a person for who they are for the sake of Allah. (I'm one of those people :D)

                  Comment


                    #10
                    Re: Give "ugly" girls a chance

                    Originally posted by ibzy View Post
                    no man asks another women her bra size, you just exagarate
                    You'd be very very very very surprised as what is being asked........


                    I have to quote that because im trying to understand if you really wrote that.
                    Last edited by Fais; 30-01-13, 04:47 PM.
                    My Blog http://historyeyesopened.tumblr.com/ Watch out sister Nousername
                    Ummah forum mentality depiction by BBC (warning) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LS37SNYjg8w

                    Comment


                      #11
                      Re: Give "ugly" girls a chance

                      See the plus side, such girls are fortunate to escape from superficial men.

                      There are men whose love extends beyond the proverbial skin depth and these men choose them.
                      Not knowing what one doesn't know will lead to difficulty

                      Comment


                        #12
                        Re: Give "ugly" girls a chance

                        I like the sentiments of the topic and wish that I myself was not so looks oriented, but there's also something to bear in mind. It's not just "is she attractive", there is an element in the matter such that the person feels relaxed that the one before him is the right one. For instance someone can recognize another person has beauty, but it is not the kind he is inclined towards. But there are so many other factors too, like religion, language, location, parent's opinion, etc that are sometimes weighed to determine an overall verdict.

                        Keep in mind that your destiny is already written, your appearance has no bearing on that.

                        Worth mentioning that in the west in particular, the majority are bombarded with images of the most dolled up women, and thus they will incline towards what looks like that. I realize that is not a good thing, but this is how many are. Another factor is, polygamy has been made very difficult, so marrying someone is not like the old days when a man can say "sure, just add her to the team and we'll have the walimah tonight or tomorrow." No, it has become this complicated thing where families meet, there is a lot of hype, dowry is negotiated, and all these issues need to be cleared. Given that it's a one shot thing and the emphasis on how "this is the one person you shall spend your life with!" (even though we're allowed three others), people are less willing to compromise, because the way they see it, that's it, you only get one chance to get it right. So as such, people think and think, calculate, etc. And this is why again I always say, the biggest victims of polygamy being hated by women are women themselves, otherwise for the man with equity, more wives means more responsibility.
                        والمبادرة إلى التكفير إنما تغلب على طباع من يغلب عليهم الجهل - ابن تيمية رحمه الله - بغية المرتاد

                        "Rushing towards takfir is an attitude which is dominant over those who are defeated by ignorance." - Ibn Taymiyyah Rahimahullah [Bughyatul Murtaad, page 354]

                        Comment


                          #13
                          Re: Give "ugly" girls a chance

                          Originally posted by Salams2All View Post
                          ^But the ones that do aren't worth thinking about, is what she's getting at.
                          It's a pointless thing to get at since I believe the topic creator is referring to facial features and nothing else.
                          والمبادرة إلى التكفير إنما تغلب على طباع من يغلب عليهم الجهل - ابن تيمية رحمه الله - بغية المرتاد

                          "Rushing towards takfir is an attitude which is dominant over those who are defeated by ignorance." - Ibn Taymiyyah Rahimahullah [Bughyatul Murtaad, page 354]

                          Comment


                            #14
                            Re: Give "ugly" girls a chance

                            Originally posted by علي View Post
                            It's a pointless thing to get at since I believe the topic creator is referring to facial features and nothing else.
                            No...I'm referring to outer appearance in general. Not anything specific.

                            Comment


                              #15
                              Re: Give "ugly" girls a chance

                              Originally posted by DaughterOfAdam View Post
                              No...I'm referring to outer appearance in general. Not anything specific.
                              That is odd, since what is permitted in Islam is only that one sees her face and her hands when considering. And really it is the face that ultimately determines attraction, at least to someone with sound nature. That is one of the reasons why I believe niqaab to be an obvious waajib, but that is another discussion we will not get into.
                              والمبادرة إلى التكفير إنما تغلب على طباع من يغلب عليهم الجهل - ابن تيمية رحمه الله - بغية المرتاد

                              "Rushing towards takfir is an attitude which is dominant over those who are defeated by ignorance." - Ibn Taymiyyah Rahimahullah [Bughyatul Murtaad, page 354]

                              Comment

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