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  • #46
    Re: Will I be able to get married with a condition...

    Originally posted by Kalikatu View Post
    You had another thread about the similar topic if I remember correctly, and this topic too..I get if you feel bad about your condition (I try and not write eczema because I just keep getting it wrong), and that your parents and yourself seem to think that no one would marry a guy with eczema....yet now you say that you don't even want to get married and prefer to be alone. Is that because of your condition (you think your eczema keeps you from socializing) or because you genuinely don't want to get married because maybe you don't like people or physical contact or something.

    Somehow...maybe I'm just not seeing the bigger picture here.
    No where in my post did I say Im so keen to get married, I only mentioned my parents were looking and this was without my knowledge they were looking, my sis told me they were looking for but not really officially looking for me.

    I used to socialise alot when I was younger but grew up and realised friends come and go and never got attached to anyone. Kept my distance from friends at University and at College.

    One thing is the Eczema as it does have a huge affect on your daily life, but I remember when I was younger with no eczema I am still the same person as I today still with a positive attitude but when I was younger I never knew my eczema would be this bad or anything so may you could say I dont like the attention or looks people and same goes with my father when he looks at me, looks at me every day disappointed in me in the way I look.

    Not everyone gets married.. so maybe I am one of them? At this rate don't think it will come across my parents mind until my skin is healthy or what ever. MY father brings up marriage now and then and keeps mentioning we wont start to look for a year or so and this was a year ago so I have no idea, But what I do know my father and mum do want to see me get married but I don't see it.

    I am content with being by my self.

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    • #47
      Re: Will I be able to get married with a condition...

      Originally posted by Muslim-Guy View Post
      No where in my post did I say Im so keen to get married, I only mentioned my parents were looking and this was without my knowledge they were looking, my sis told me they were looking for but not really officially looking for me.

      I used to socialise alot when I was younger but grew up and realised friends come and go and never got attached to anyone. Kept my distance from friends at University and at College.

      One thing is the Eczema as it does have a huge affect on your daily life, but I remember when I was younger with no eczema I am still the same person as I today still with a positive attitude but when I was younger I never knew my eczema would be this bad or anything so may you could say I dont like the attention or looks people and same goes with my father when he looks at me, looks at me every day disappointed in me in the way I look.

      Not everyone gets married.. so maybe I am one of them? At this rate don't think it will come across my parents mind until my skin is healthy or what ever. MY father brings up marriage now and then and keeps mentioning we wont start to look for a year or so and this was a year ago so I have no idea, But what I do know my father and mum do want to see me get married but I don't see it.

      I am content with being by my self.
      Aa, that explains.

      I did write a quite a long reply but I didn't know how to write it without it becoming too personal, so I'll just say that you don't know what the future brings you. The best thing to do with situations that bothers you and you can't do much about, is just best to be left in the hands of Allah sawwat'aalaa. Does it matter if you're one of those who never marry? It'll happen in the next life insha'Allah if you get there. So as I've come to the conclusion on my own affairs, I give the same advice to you. Write down what bothers you. Put it in a lockable box. Let go. Focus on your Lord instead.

      Though, are you just content with yourself? Wouldn't you like someone to share the little happy things about life with someone? You don't need to think it as anything more deep than a friendship, a life long true friendship. Wouldn't that be even more satisfying than being alone and content?
      6:62 "Then are they restored unto Allah, their Lord, the Just. Surely His is the judgment. And He is the most swift of reckoners."

      Comment


      • #48
        Re: Will I be able to get married with a condition...

        Originally posted by Kalikatu View Post
        Aa, that explains.

        I did write a quite a long reply but I didn't know how to write it without it becoming too personal, so I'll just say that you don't know what the future brings you. The best thing to do with situations that bothers you and you can't do much about, is just best to be left in the hands of Allah sawwat'aalaa. Does it matter if you're one of those who never marry? It'll happen in the next life insha'Allah if you get there. So as I've come to the conclusion on my own affairs, I give the same advice to you. Write down what bothers you. Put it in a lockable box. Let go. Focus on your Lord instead.

        Though, are you just content with yourself? Wouldn't you like someone to share the little happy things about life with someone? You don't need to think it as anything more deep than a friendship, a life long true friendship. Wouldn't that be even more satisfying than being alone and content?
        It doesn't matter to me if I'm one of the people that doesn't get married, never intended to and if it did happen I wouldn't know what to do.

        Other problem is if I get into Jannah or not that is my other worry aswell, I find it difficult to do wudu and my skin is itchy and flakey most of the times so my focus is on that, silly i know but that is the truth.

        I am content with my self but my father me wants me to achieve the impossible to earn xxx salary and be like him or my younger brother (who are earning very well).

        I don't know if i am compatible for marriage, as there are a million and one things people look for in a spouse. Honestly don't know if i can make the other person happy as I have been getting through life by my self and with support of my family and never relied on friends or in your a life long true friendship...

        I don' talk much even with my family, I keep my self to my self as my family always bring up my work situation, my skin situation and that just irritates me a lot so I tend not to spend time with.

        I am satisfied being alone and content with life.

        Comment


        • #49
          Re: Will I be able to get married with a condition...

          Originally posted by Muslim-Guy View Post
          It doesn't matter to me if I'm one of the people that doesn't get married, never intended to and if it did happen I wouldn't know what to do.

          Other problem is if I get into Jannah or not that is my other worry aswell, I find it difficult to do wudu and my skin is itchy and flakey most of the times so my focus is on that, silly i know but that is the truth.

          I am content with my self but my father me wants me to achieve the impossible to earn xxx salary and be like him or my younger brother (who are earning very well).

          I don't know if i am compatible for marriage, as there are a million and one things people look for in a spouse. Honestly don't know if i can make the other person happy as I have been getting through life by my self and with support of my family and never relied on friends or in your a life long true friendship...

          I don' talk much even with my family, I keep my self to my self as my family always bring up my work situation, my skin situation and that just irritates me a lot so I tend not to spend time with.

          I am satisfied being alone and content with life.
          Of water wudu is too painful, use a substitute like a clean rock or dirt. Pain does clean away sins, but causing unnecessary pain is against islam. But hey, i think I've found a solution for you (maybe). Islam! Inform those who keep talking of the matters of this world like money, that your focus is directed on islam and you dont need to nake xx money since youre already being able to support yoursekf. Endulge in Islam, I'm pretty sure no muslim can say anything bad about that. Use the sunnah as an example for any arguments. Make sure they realize your priority is the hereafter and that you put everything in hands if allah. If you have no sexual urges and wont commit zina and you do your best to please Allah, what problem is there?
          Last edited by Kalikatu; 01-06-13, 09:04 PM. Reason: Wow all the typos. Im on the phone, sorry
          6:62 "Then are they restored unto Allah, their Lord, the Just. Surely His is the judgment. And He is the most swift of reckoners."

          Comment


          • #50
            Re: Will I be able to get married with a condition...

            Originally posted by Kalikatu View Post
            Of water wudu is too painful, use a substitute like a clean rock or dirt. Pain does clean away sins, but causing unnecessary pain is against islam. But hey, i think I've found a solution for you (maybe). Islam! Inform those who keep talking of the matters of this world like money, that your focus is directed on islam and you dont need to nake xx money since youre already being able to support yoursekf. Endulge in Islam, I'm pretty sure no muslim can say anything bad about that. Use the sunnah as an example for any arguments. Make sure they realize your priority is the hereafter and that you put everything in hands if allah. If you have no sexual urges and wont commit zina and you do your best to please Allah, what problem is there?
            Im not supporting my self, Im still living with parents, brother and a sister, more than I love to be endulged with Islam its easy said than done... think of like this.. every few minutes you have an itch which leads to a scratch which leads your skin to bleed and flake off, how can you ignore that?

            I don't want that feeling at all as its very irritating to the feeling I wish I wasn't born because the pain is unbearable no matter what people say You can't sleep properly, always itching thinking why Allah has put me in this situation and how is this the best for me, to suffer for many years and not enjoy a single day of my life...

            Comment


            • #51
              Re: Will I be able to get married with a condition...

              Originally posted by Muslim-Guy View Post
              Im not supporting my self, Im still living with parents, brother and a sister, more than I love to be endulged with Islam its easy said than done... think of like this.. every few minutes you have an itch which leads to a scratch which leads your skin to bleed and flake off, how can you ignore that?

              I don't want that feeling at all as its very irritating to the feeling I wish I wasn't born because the pain is unbearable no matter what people say You can't sleep properly, always itching thinking why Allah has put me in this situation and how is this the best for me, to suffer for many years and not enjoy a single day of my life...
              Ah yes...It is of course in the interest of your father that you can support yourself. The only thing I can say about your skin is that do remember that all the pain you endure wipes out your sins. Don't lose your faith in Allah sawwata'aalaa. You're a muslim, nothing you suffer is "for nothing". Insha'Allah the hereafter is wonderful for you. That reminds me, reciting Al-Bakara over an ointment you use, or water, then drinking it/using it. It might help. I know how it feels to wake up everyday and just feel pain for realizing that you're didn't die in your sleep. I don't know what else there is to do than make as much duaa as you can as possible and try and endure. I'll keep you in my duaas as well. Insha'Allah your situation will become easier and easier for you, and you will become healthy again. Also, I can only think of "mind over matter" exercises. Do you remember the times when you didn't have that bad eczema? You focus on that feeling, that your skin is healthy and beautiful, and you visualize yourself like that again. I don't know if it will help, but the same method has worked in for me in a skin condition I had for 9 years. Insha'Allah things will become easier for you brother.
              6:62 "Then are they restored unto Allah, their Lord, the Just. Surely His is the judgment. And He is the most swift of reckoners."

              Comment


              • #52
                Re: Will I be able to get married with a condition...

                Originally posted by Muslim-Guy View Post
                I cant answer that question, up to my parents... its their decision
                ahhhhhhhhhhhh unbelievable man u sooooooo lax really u gotta man up

                that's why I always believe that best age for marriage is 27 - 38
                How merciful Allah on me by giving me respite,and I persist in my sins and Allah shields me :crying2:

                Comment


                • #53
                  Re: Will I be able to get married with a condition...

                  Originally posted by DaughterOfAdam View Post
                  Say Alhamdulillah that you're a man because women are more likely to be willing to give you the benefit of the doubt and overlook your skin condition.

                  However, I'm not sure if it was the other way round (the woman has a skin condition) that men would be willing to give her the benefit of the doubt.

                  Women are not as shallow as men, so don't worry :)
                  Excuse me lady women are equally as shallow as men.

                  Comment


                  • #54
                    Re: Will I be able to get married with a condition...

                    Muslim Guy

                    can u google a pic of what ur skin condition looks like (identical to urs) and paste the link here

                    sorry just curious, no other reason. wanna see the severity of it
                    My ♥ only lets الله‎ in

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