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Will I be able to get married with a condition...

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  • #16
    Re: Will I be able to get married with a condition...

    Originally posted by DaughterOfAdam View Post
    Say Alhamdulillah that you're a man because women are more likely to be willing to give you the benefit of the doubt and overlook your skin condition.

    However, I'm not sure if it was the other way round (the woman has a skin condition) that men would be willing to give her the benefit of the doubt.

    Women are not as shallow as men, so don't worry :)
    This is true actually, inshallah you ll get married soon and frankly this eczema doesnt seem like a big deal at all

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    • #17
      Re: Will I be able to get married with a condition...

      Just get it straight to your father that by been soo picky it will be very difficult to find a girl. So he should lower his demands.

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      • #18
        Re: Will I be able to get married with a condition...

        ///
        Last edited by shezad; 30-05-13, 10:46 AM.
        He who loses money, loses much.

        He who loses a friend, loses more.

        He who loses faith, loses ALL.

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        • #19
          Re: Will I be able to get married with a condition...

          All the men I know with severe psoriasis or ezema on their face, are happily married.

          One guy is divorced, but it had nothing to do with his looks.
          https://sufisticated101.wordpress.com

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          • #20
            Re: Will I be able to get married with a condition...

            Aslamulaikam my brother in Islam you have nothing to fear as Allah is your maker and Allah will choose what is correct for you, regardless of your parents' views. As muslims we have a duty to respect our parents but we also have a say in who we marry, that is the divine beauty of our religion.

            Bro never give up faith in Allah and as for beauty........it fades for both men and women alike. So hang in there because Inshallah things will soon start looking up on the marriage front very soon. Ameen.
            He who loses money, loses much.

            He who loses a friend, loses more.

            He who loses faith, loses ALL.

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            • #21
              Re: Will I be able to get married with a condition...

              Brother use ointment on it, do not itch it and don't get stressed. A lot of sisters will overlook this, its not an issue at all. Your father is wrong to be like this. Rejecting a sister because she has curly hair? That's just taking the biscuit. Its up to you who you marry not him. Your the one that will be married to the sister, so her looks should be of your liking not his.
              ▪️••• 〰 Say what you wish in abuse of me, for my silence towards the idiot is indeed an answer. I am not at a loss for a response, but rather it does not befit the lion to answer the dogs. 〰 •••▪️

              ~ IMAM SHAFI'I RH

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              • #22
                Re: Will I be able to get married with a condition...

                thanks for all the replies and I know my dad has his own requirements to whom I marry but can't blame him..

                My dad has these sort of high standards because he wants the best for his kids, He wants his kids to live with his parents and be one big family so we can all live together as his brothers and sister all lived with their spouses and has cuased some conflicts but not any more.

                Beauty may fade but I never looked at my self thinking "Oh what a handsome person, who has good personality and decent looks" I hate looking in the mirror in the mornings and seeing the way I look.

                I have eczema on both my arms, on my hand, stomach, the back, neck , face and the chest..

                My parents told me several times in anger that would girl would marry to someone who looks like you, the parents of the girls want the girl to marry who is healthy and all that jazz..

                I look around at people that are not affected with skin disease and think why am I suffering as you probably know it is very difficult to live with on a daily basis.

                I used steriod creams before, but they never worked, have tried 4 homoepath docs, they just made it worse, have tried chinese herbal, have tried apple cider vinegar.

                Have made alot of changes in my life to cope with my eczema but still I have eczema and don't think it will go away completely or where I feel I am comfortable with it.

                Who I want to marry, I have no idea as marriage is a no go for me because of my eczema and if sisters reject me, will cause stress as to I would know why the reason what would be, so don't want to go there, not even talk about it really.

                What my father wants it someone from the UK, with an education, good family background and able to work and who has deen...is that what fathers want for their sons to marry into? Can't argue with that.. that is all he wants, regarding appearance of the girl I have no idea as I only been told by my sister, but my dad did say she has be to be good looking, attractive...

                In all honesty, don't think I can handle marriage as its a unity of two people, being compatible and all sorts, out of the million sisters out there, how hard or easy is it to find that person where other factors are introduced....

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                • #23
                  Re: Will I be able to get married with a condition...

                  thanks for all the replies and I know my dad has his own requirements to whom I marry but can't blame him..

                  My dad has these sort of high standards because he wants the best for his kids, He wants his kids to live with his parents and be one big family so we can all live together as his brothers and sister all lived with their spouses and has cuased some conflicts but not any more.

                  Beauty may fade but I never looked at my self thinking "Oh what a handsome person, who has good personality and decent looks" I hate looking in the mirror in the mornings and seeing the way I look.

                  I have eczema on both my arms, on my hand, stomach, the back, neck , face and the chest..

                  My parents told me several times in anger that would girl would marry to someone who looks like you, the parents of the girls want the girl to marry who is healthy and all that jazz..

                  I look around at people that are not affected with skin disease and think why am I suffering as you probably know it is very difficult to live with on a daily basis.

                  I used steriod creams before, but they never worked, have tried 4 homoepath docs, they just made it worse, have tried chinese herbal, have tried apple cider vinegar.

                  Have made alot of changes in my life to cope with my eczema but still I have eczema and don't think it will go away completely or where I feel I am comfortable with it.

                  Who I want to marry, I have no idea as marriage is a no go for me because of my eczema and if sisters reject me, will cause stress as to I would know why the reason what would be, so don't want to go there, not even talk about it really.

                  What my father wants it someone from the UK, with an education, good family background and able to work and who has deen...is that what fathers want for their sons to marry into? Can't argue with that.. that is all he wants, regarding appearance of the girl I have no idea as I only been told by my sister, but my dad did say she has be to be good looking, attractive...

                  In all honesty, don't think I can handle marriage as its a unity of two people, being compatible and all sorts, out of the million sisters out there, how hard or easy is it to find that person where other factors are introduced....

                  Comment


                  • #24
                    Re: Will I be able to get married with a condition...

                    I suppose this is off topic but why is your sister telling you about her hair? Thats now anyones business. Even if you meet a potential you cant tell your sister to check her out for you and describe her to you.

                    Anyway, on topic, women are more concerned with character and kind treatment than looks. Fact.
                    Falling over toys....

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                    • #25
                      Re: Will I be able to get married with a condition...

                      Originally posted by redball View Post
                      I suppose this is off topic but why is your sister telling you about her hair? Thats now anyones business. Even if you meet a potential you cant tell your sister to check her out for you and describe her to you.

                      Anyway, on topic, women are more concerned with character and kind treatment than looks. Fact.
                      My sister told me because she goes swimming with her friend and our mum aswell... and my sister's friend has an older sister and my mum was asking about marriage so that is how I know.

                      I don't intend to meet any potentials via work or any where else, rather let my parents choose and decide to be frank.

                      I understand that there is more to physical looks but there has to be some physical attributes women like..

                      When or if they see me they will know I'm not the right person in the way I look.

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                      • #26
                        Re: Will I be able to get married with a condition...

                        Originally posted by Muslim-Guy View Post
                        My sister told me because she goes swimming with her friend and our mum aswell... and my sister's friend has an older sister and my mum was asking about marriage so that is how I know.

                        I don't intend to meet any potentials via work or any where else, rather let my parents choose and decide to be frank.

                        I understand that there is more to physical looks but there has to be some physical attributes women like..

                        When or if they see me they will know I'm not the right person in the way I look.
                        No one should be describing another female to you. If my brother asked me about a sister its simple, she's average, tall/short, that's it. Whatever he can't see for himself if he looked he has no right to know. What's the point of a woman covering if other women will describe us anyway....

                        Back to your topic, let your character shine brighter than your looks and you'll find a good wife inshAllah. Maybe this is even a blessing because a wife wont choose you only for looks, and a shallow woman won't choose s husband if he doesn't look good. I'm sure you aren't actually ugly or anything though, but if you are as you say then inshAllah you'll find a good pious wife based on your character and not a shallow, arrogant, dunya chasing wife.
                        Falling over toys....

                        Comment


                        • #27
                          Re: Will I be able to get married with a condition...

                          Hm. If you ain't got the look then you got to work on what you got. Maybe you should work in learning islam and becoming a better muslim. Working on your relationship with Allah sawwata'aalaa. Maybe you should try and become a millionaire. I think you should stop focusing on your looks there's absolutely nothing you can do about it except pray to Allah. When I accepted my weight and face and generally stopped thinking about it..the pressure it used to put on me, all gone. Of course I am not in the same situation as you, but you know what? There's nothing in the world you can do about it. So stop knifing yourself over it, pray to Allah to ease things for you. You were born with a condition like that, if there's no treatment for it, you of course keep looking for treatment and take care of yourself, but you stop thinking about how bad it is. I hate to say it but it's an attitude change, big time. You don't need to be happy you got that condition. But you don't need to feel bad about it either. It just is. I didn't read the other posts, but can you exercise? Exercise is good for you.

                          Also, there's thousands of people who have different kinds of sicknesses who are married. I just saw a head line about a blind AND deaf guy who had had that since childhood, and who was happily married. Someone I know has been in a wheelchair since childhood and he technically has just sticks in place of legs and he's happily married and has kids. I think the best for you is keep and eye out, pray to Allah, but stop depressing over it. Yeah, I know, my whole post is easier said than done, but what choices do you have? These are your cards. Stephen Hawking isn't the greatest looking guy on earth but last time I checked he was married.

                          And you know what? There's other possible scenarios too than not marrying or someone marries you for just money. Maybe your condition will keep all the shallow girls away from you, but bring you a pure hearted human being. Allah knows best why he has given you such a condition and what you should do about/with it. You're more than your condition, so focus on the more-part of you.

                          I'll make duaa for you. Insha'Allah Ar-Rahim will make life easier for you.
                          6:62 "Then are they restored unto Allah, their Lord, the Just. Surely His is the judgment. And He is the most swift of reckoners."

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                          • #28
                            Re: Will I be able to get married with a condition...

                            I'm asexual with mental health issues. You ain't the only one with problems bro. Even then there's people much worse off.

                            Also, all the people with eczema that I've known have been married or in relationships. There is hope for you yet. :up:

                            Comment


                            • #29
                              Re: Will I be able to get married with a condition...

                              Originally posted by not yet View Post
                              i'm asexual with mental health issues. You ain't the only one with problems bro. Even then there's people much worse off.

                              Also, all the people with eczema that i've known have been married or in relationships. There is hope for you yet. :up:
                              what do you mean asexual with mental health?
                              La illaha ilallah

                              Comment


                              • #30
                                Re: Will I be able to get married with a condition...

                                Originally posted by blanchoir View Post
                                what do you mean asexual with mental health?
                                Updated. http://www.ummah.com/forum/showthrea...64193-Asexuals

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