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Is it possible to do a Nikah twice with the same person?

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  • Is it possible to do a Nikah twice with the same person?

    Asalaamualaikum,

    Is it possible to do a nikah "in secret" without announcing to EVERYONE and then do another nikah at a later date with the whole family and a larger gathering followed by a Walimah?

    Hoping some of you have an opinion/ knowledge on this.

    Ameera.

  • #2
    Re: Is it possible to do a Nikah twice with the same person?

    Does the family not know that you had your first Nikah? Was this kept secret from them, so now your pretending in front of them that it's your first nikah? Did I understand this correct?

    If that is the case, Allah knows your intention I'm sure you can do it again, but in Allahs eyes your first marriage is the first but please speak to an Imam sister.

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: Is it possible to do a Nikah twice with the same person?

      What do you mean by secret marriage? Do your parents know about it? If I wanted to have a quiet marriage for some reason which is likely not a good idea, I would have a small nikkah and then a large walimah to announce the marriage. Repeating a nikkah which has already been done is deceitful.
      Blessed is He in Whose Hand is the Dominion, and He is Able to do all things. (67.1)

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: Is it possible to do a Nikah twice with the same person?

        I am a revert and do not have any support from my own family. And the possible groom in question is happy to marry me now, but cannot tell his family yet as their emphasis at the moment is on education and career and they wouldn't allow it just yet. What I mean is, could we do a nikah, with witnesses (our close friends and his male cousin) but then repeat the nikah at a later date when he tells his family? We are only thinking about this because we want to do this in as much a halal way as possible.

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: Is it possible to do a Nikah twice with the same person?

          That doesnt sound good sis! Islamically there is no secret marriage, you have to announce it, theres way too much fitnah that could come out of this. What if u get pregnant? What if people see you two out together and assume you're sinning? What if his parents are not happy with your marriage( once they find out) and demand he divorces you? This could seriously damage your reputation. I remember this woman who got married in secret to a man I know, got pregnant, told the guy and he denied the baby and the nikah.

          Im sure the brother has good intentions by marrying you, but what he seriously needs to do is tell his family about you and marry you the proper way. It seems that he has all to gain and you have so much to lose.
          Last edited by Sam_87; 01-12-12, 09:25 PM.
          Allahumma innaa na'udhu bika min an nushrika bika shai-an na'lamuh; wa nastaghfiruka limaa laa na'lam

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: Is it possible to do a Nikah twice with the same person?

            Originally posted by Ameera.UK. View Post
            Asalaamualaikum,

            Is it possible to do a nikah "in secret" without announcing to EVERYONE and then do another nikah at a later date with the whole family and a larger gathering followed by a Walimah?

            Hoping some of you have an opinion/ knowledge on this.

            Ameera.
            Alaykom Salam,

            Before you do that sister it's best to check his family closely, I'm saying that because many men who claim to be muslims by name who are married with kids, choose to marry secretly to have a second wife and give as an excuse that their parents aren't ok, but the reality is that they're already married, so do your research before you go throu that and good luck
            Last edited by Muslimah3000; 01-12-12, 02:37 PM.

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: Is it possible to do a Nikah twice with the same person?

              Originally posted by Ameera.UK. View Post
              I am a revert and do not have any support from my own family. And the possible groom in question is happy to marry me now, but cannot tell his family yet as their emphasis at the moment is on education and career and they wouldn't allow it just yet. What I mean is, could we do a nikah, with witnesses (our close friends and his male cousin) but then repeat the nikah at a later date when he tells his family? We are only thinking about this because we want to do this in as much a halal way as possible.
              How do you know his parents will ever accept it? And what do you think will happen to you when his parents start arranging his marriage to someone else? Things are done a proper way for a reason, to protect women like you.
              Blessed is He in Whose Hand is the Dominion, and He is Able to do all things. (67.1)

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: Is it possible to do a Nikah twice with the same person?

                Walaikum assalaam!
                I'm actually have like, the same issue. (Revert too, woot woot!)
                Both our parents want us only to be married at like, 30 (on his side, my parents don't believe in marriage). I asked a few people about this, but no one has ever given me an answer back. His parents like me enough to talk about us being married in the future, but not until we're in our late 20s.

                So far, I've only been told that I could try to do the nikkah first, and then later on do a big party with everyone. But... I'm sure his family would want to be a part of the whole religious ceremony too.
                If anyone has any answers to this... both me and Ameera.UK. would benefit!

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: Is it possible to do a Nikah twice with the same person?

                  Salaam,

                  I registered on this forum purely to respond to this thread.
                  Please, if you value your spiritual, emotional, mental and financial well being do not get involved in this secret marriage. I am talking from experience here. I have been with my husband for 12 years now. We dated for about 6 years before I reverted and took part in a secret marriage. He is Pakistani and when he tried to get his parents to agree they threatened violence again us both. This has meant for the last 6 years I have basically lived with a part time husband. He works for his family so I have been the sole financial provider. I saw him everyday till around 11pm and he stayed over 2 nights a week. Although I am educated and have a high earning potential, due to the economy I have suffered a few redundancies and I have only been getting contract work for a while so money has been really tight. My husband always promised that 1 day we would move out of the city and start a new life as a ‘proper’ husband and wife but all his promises were just lies.
                  I found out my Grandma has cancer about 2 months ago and things and it suddenly dawned on me that life is so precious and I don’t want to have any regrets. I tried to share with my husband that I have been really unhappy with our arrangement for a long time and that I really needed a commitment to make our plans happen. I also need him to make a financial commitment because I am been taken to court for council tax arrears and I may even lose my home. This did not go well and I was made to feel that I have become a financial burden. He thinks it might be better if he marries someone of his parents choosing so then she can live with his parents. It seems that my lack of tolerance for this arrangement, compounded with the financial strains has been the final nail in the coffin. Now he is just ignoring me. He has been divorced before from arranged marriage and I don’t think he cares about been divorced again. I am devastated, all my hopes and dreams dashed away.
                  Please don’t go through with this. He may promise that he can convince his parents or promise that you can run away and be happy but when you enter into a marriage based on lies and secrecy there are no happy endings. Don’t learn this lesson the hard way, learn from someone elses mistake. You don’t want to be me in 12 years time picking up the pieces of a shattered life.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: Is it possible to do a Nikah twice with the same person?

                    If family cannot be convinced, one option is to start looking elsewhere. If you both happen to still be single when parents are ready to approve, you could always do it then.
                    Blessed is He in Whose Hand is the Dominion, and He is Able to do all things. (67.1)

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Re: Is it possible to do a Nikah twice with the same person?

                      Originally posted by inprogress View Post
                      If family cannot be convinced, one option is to start looking elsewhere. If you both happen to still be single when parents are ready to approve, you could always do it then.
                      Inprogress, the sister has found someone who matches all the criteria of a good Muslim husband (I'm assuming, otherwise she wouldn't marry them now), and she's just looking to do this in the best halal way.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Re: Is it possible to do a Nikah twice with the same person?

                        Originally posted by Ameera.UK. View Post
                        I am a revert and do not have any support from my own family. And the possible groom in question is happy to marry me now, but cannot tell his family yet as their emphasis at the moment is on education and career and they wouldn't allow it just yet. What I mean is, could we do a nikah, with witnesses (our close friends and his male cousin) but then repeat the nikah at a later date when he tells his family? We are only thinking about this because we want to do this in as much a halal way as possible.
                        Ameera. Without approval and support of his family, your marriage has zero chance of working out. I know this is not what you want to hear, but this man is choosing an easy way out by hiding from his parents. Tell him to announce his intentions and introduce you to his family. Anything less than that is undignified.

                        Think about it. You marry in secret. To his parents, he's still as good as single. What is he going to tell them about where he spends his days and nights? What is he going to tell them when they entertain marriage plans for him (that don't involve you)? If he can't deal with their disapproval right now, how will he deal with it later, when it is going to be coupled with their outrage that their son has lied to them? At that point, you won't be just an unsuitable bride. You'll be a chick who helped their son lie to his parents.

                        Use your head. Don't do this. Tell him to grow a pair and face his parents. If he can't, don't marry a man without testicles.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Re: Is it possible to do a Nikah twice with the same person?

                          :wswrwb:
                          For a direct answer to your question
                          I performed nikah with a girl without disclosing it to my parents 8 months back but now my parents are convinced and i would like to perform nikah again with the same girl in the presence of my parents without letting them know about my previous nikah so could you kindly explain us can we marry again according to islamic law and shariah.

                          Praise be to Allaah.
                          Firstly:

                          If the first marriage contract fulfilled the conditions and necessary parts, namely the consent of both parties, the presence of the woman’s guardian and the testimony of two Muslim witnesses of good character, then this is a valid marriage contract with all that results from it. But if any of these conditions were not met, then it is an invalid marriage contract and must be repeated.

                          Secondly:

                          It is no secret that the parents have great rights and should be honoured and treated kindly. Hence it is essential to consult them with regard to the matter of marriage and to strive to please them as much as possible.

                          If no obvious negative consequences will result from telling them about the previous marriage contract, then it is better to tell them about that and strive to please them. It is more important to tell them if the wife is pregnant, so as to ward off accusations and suspicion.

                          But if telling them will lead to obvious negative consequences, such as the fear that they would sever ties with you and the like, then you can pretend to do the marriage contract in their presence or have it registered officially if it was not registered.

                          What is meant by pretending to do the marriage contract is that the guardian of the woman should say: I give my daughter or sister So and so to you in marriage, and you should say: I accept to marry So and so -- in the presence of two witnesses of good character, but you should inform the guardian that this new marriage contract does not really mean anything and that what counts is the first one.

                          And Allah knows best.


                          Islam Q&A
                          http://islamqa.com/en/ref/149267

                          But sisters please note that all the concerns raised in this thread is very important to look into. Even if there is no legal barrier, people's behaviour differs, so please do think well before making any decisions.
                          To the people who feel obligated to reply to every single thread even if with a lol:
                          Not every thread demands [one's] input, some are more advanced than [one's] thinking, so read and learn.
                          Others are of subjects [one] has discussed many times before [so] just read them to see how others feel about a subject.
                          - AbuM

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Re: Is it possible to do a Nikah twice with the same person?

                            i totally agree with sam_87
                            i'm sorry sis but your intentions might be good but theyn don't necessarily support the dubious actions. Whilst he does not need a wali to marry, a marriage should be an open event.
                            If the brother has no backbone to speak to his parents now, when will he ever develop it?????

                            I pray that allah finds you a solution.


                            Originally posted by Sam_87 View Post
                            That doesnt sound good sis! Islamically there is no secret marriage, you have to announce it, theres way too much fitnah that could come out of this. What if u get pregnant? What if people see you two out together and assume you're sinning? What if his parents are not happy with your marriage( once they find out) and demand he divorces you? This could seriously damage your reputation. I remember this woman who got married in secret to a man I know, got pregnant, told the guy and he denied the baby and the nikah.

                            Im sure the brother has good intentions by marrying you, but what he seriously needs to do is tell his family about you and marry you the proper way. It seems that he has all to gain and you have so much to lose.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Re: Is it possible to do a Nikah twice with the same person?

                              You should also know that your man would never, ever, ever contemplate a secret marriage for his sister or his daughter.

                              Comment

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