Ads by Muslim Ad Network

Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Morale Plateau

Collapse
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • Morale Plateau

    Last edited by blindfaith7; 28-11-12, 08:32 PM.

  • #2
    Re: Morale Plateau

    I'm sure there is no shortage of women in pakistan for marriage, what makes this one so special? i dont thinks its any of your concern whether that girl can marry again if you reject her. culture always causes problems.
    Know that the life of this world is but amusement and diversion and adornment and boasting to one another and competition in increase of wealth and children...

    -Quran (57:20)

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: Morale Plateau

      Appreciate your comment however the girl is the least significant element in this scenario. Its her parents constant begging that I cant take, then my mother thinking her sons going to die alone and finally the culture. No matter where you live in the entire world, sadly south east asian culture will continue to dominate our lives.

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: Morale Plateau

        Are you still planning on marrying her without disclosing your past marriage and children?
        https://sufisticated101.wordpress.com

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: Morale Plateau

          Originally posted by LondonGal View Post
          Are you still planning on marrying her without disclosing your past marriage and children?
          Thank you for your comment.

          My intention was to marry her after disclosing my past (face to face, I live in the UK and she in Pakistan) but before I could do this I found out that she has been in a secret relationship with someone else. I understand that she has the right to choose whoever she would like but keeping me in the dark was a bit insensitive but then again as I said, I in a similar fashion failed to disclose my previous marriage. I believe the key difference is whilst I was engaged to her my loyalty was with her as it turns out hers was not.
          My past marriage did not have any children.
          Last edited by blindfaith7; 28-11-12, 08:36 PM.

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: Morale Plateau

            The thing is you've repented, but is she still pining over this guy? thats no way to start a marriage. Unless she has really let go of her past and you both are willing to make a go of it.

            she has no option but to marry me. She said she accepts her fate with me regardless.
            she is stuck between a rock and a hard place!
            My ♥ only lets الله‎ in
            ‘O Allah, forgive me, have mercy upon me, guide me, give me health and grant me sustenance.’
            “Once you are real you can't become unreal again. It lasts for always.”

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: Morale Plateau

              She cheated on you..I couldn't trust her again. And yet, if I was her, I couldn't trust you either, as you missed to tell her about your past.

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: Morale Plateau

                Indeed Alhamdulillah, I have repented and will continue to repent. I am not sure she is pinned over this guy, given the circumstances I believe she is as I have been labelled as her fate. Which in my opinion is a little insulting. So I am merely a compromise because she did/does not have a say in this marriage arrangement.
                See the way I look at it is I left my baggage behind and moved on now all she had to do is leave hers.

                I wouldn't trust me either. Shakespeare quotes that You should not trust a person who has broken faith.
                Sadly I believe in a way I have. Nevertheless, Allah all mighty only gives us (hardship) as much as we can handle and HE orders us to repent for HE is the most forgiving most Merciful.

                Thank you for you input. My question remains. Is it wise to shrug this under the carpet and move on (which I am finding extremely difficult) OR finish it off and not care about what her parents go through because of the actions of her daughter. Bearing in mind I feel I have no authority to displease her parents because I have betrayed them by not disclosing my previous marriage. Is this injustice? Will I be displeasing ALLAH if I say I do not want to marry this girl? Because to be honest I don't :(
                Last edited by blindfaith7; 28-11-12, 11:47 PM.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: Morale Plateau

                  ^ find out if she is in it for the long haul, I mean if she has cheated on you...what's to say she is not doing it right now?

                  Will you be able to trust her?

                  you know early in the marriage you'll fight and shes going to wish she was with him, and might even contact him

                  So it can work out but thats only because both of them are willing to make the marriage work.
                  My ♥ only lets الله‎ in
                  ‘O Allah, forgive me, have mercy upon me, guide me, give me health and grant me sustenance.’
                  “Once you are real you can't become unreal again. It lasts for always.”

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: Morale Plateau

                    Also pray istikhara prayer and Allah will guide you to what will be good for you in sha Allah
                    My ♥ only lets الله‎ in
                    ‘O Allah, forgive me, have mercy upon me, guide me, give me health and grant me sustenance.’
                    “Once you are real you can't become unreal again. It lasts for always.”

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Re: Morale Plateau

                      Fairy (sister) comments well received. thank you.

                      I am going to have to sleep on it another night as I have to make a decision by Friday. It was a request made by her father.

                      Much Appreciated

                      JazakAllah Khair
                      Last edited by blindfaith7; 29-11-12, 12:59 AM.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Re: Morale Plateau

                        Yup..fairy is right..do istikhara...and if possible...forgive her.Just as your heart changed...so will be hers if you forgive her.We are humans...and humans are bound to sin..if she has repented then forgive.If not..then leave her.But yes i feel sorry for her parents.For her parents sake...for an elder couple's sake...do a wise decision.

                        Comment

                        Working...
                        X