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Pologamy,The Benefits for Men and Women.

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  • Re: Pologamy,The Benefits for Men and Women.

    Originally posted by Remember12345 View Post
    All B.S

    These are opinions of lay-mans.Men will marry whoever they like.Your opinions doesn't count.
    This is exactly the attitude I am talking about of polygamist men They don't have any consideration for women and it is all about "my right" and women should just shut up. You always love to IGNORE the conditions that come with that right. If you have this attitude towards women, it is no wonder may men mess it up. Instead of thinking her concerns are crap and refusing to listen, maybe you should also use your brain and think why women have the fears they do. it's not just I marry whoever I want and my first wife better shut up. Stop with your condescending attitude towards women. BOTH men and women have rights when it comes to polygamy not just men. You shouldn't be looking at polygamy with this I don't care attitude.
    Therefore remember Me, I will remember you, And be thankful to Me, and do not be ungrateful to Me." [Qur'an 2:152]
    Behold in the Remembrance of Allah do hearts find satisfaction."
    [Al Quran 13:28]
    ]

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    • Re: Pologamy,The Benefits for Men and Women.

      What conditions though? The condition is that he treats them both equally, and I'm sure there are extentuating circumstances that might also make it haram, like for instance if he's married to someone that constantly needs attention due to some really bad illness, and he then just can't afford to take on more wives.

      Yes the woman's feelings must be taken into consideration, that's why he treats them both equally, what more can you ask for? The rest of the conditions you state, that it must be a divorcee, or a widow, or that the man is some sick freak for marrying a younger girl... none of that has any basis, but if you have proof, provide it. The sunnah encompasses all scenarios, I mean there was a marriage where the Prophet :saw: married the divorced ex-wife of the man who was in his care as a child (adopted son is what it is called today, only it's not really like adoption today since it's haram to give the kid your family name). And this happened for what reason? To make it crystal clear that this type of marriage is halal. So when you say he married Aisha (r. a), then that's that, it's allowed to marry younger. He married someone known to be attractive (Safiyya radiyallahu `anhaa), and he married an older woman. There is no set condition, dispense with this propaganda already, it's allowed, the end.
      Last edited by علي; 04-08-12, 04:29 PM.
      والمبادرة إلى التكفير إنما تغلب على طباع من يغلب عليهم الجهل - ابن تيمية رحمه الله - بغية المرتاد

      "Rushing towards takfir is an attitude which is dominant over those who are defeated by ignorance." - Ibn Taymiyyah Rahimahullah [Bughyatul Murtaad, page 354]

      Comment


      • Re: Pologamy,The Benefits for Men and Women.

        ^^^ Can we all be like Rasulullah SAAW? About him marrying Aisha, there's a different story. After Khadija's death, a sahabiyah asked him he could marry a virgin (bikr) or a widow. She said the widow one is Saudah, and the virgin one is Aisha. What was Rasulullah SAAW did? He married Saudah, who's an elder widow, and for 1 year and half she's his only wife. But then, the Archangel Gabriel came to his dream with a woman behind a veil saying "she is your wife". When Rasulullah SAAW revealed the veil, that was Aisha (r.a) and he immediately know it's Allah SWT himself who wants him to marry Aisha.

        Why? If Rasulullah SAAW wants, he could choose Aisha in the first place, but he instead chose an elder widow Saudah. If a layman guys nowaday can have a choice like Rasulullah SAAW, between choosing an elder widow or virgin teenager --- you don't have to ask what will he choose first? But Rasulullah SAAW is a noble man. His polygamy is NOT layman's polygamy.

        Originally posted by Remember12345 View Post
        All B.S

        These are opinions of lay-mans.Men will marry whoever they like.Your opinions doesn't count.
        "Your opinions doesn't count".
        Ha! Hands down, the mask is slipped away
        Of course, men are kings. Marry whoever you want, don't give a damn if your first wife is hurt. Why? Because their opinion doesn't count.


        Yes,of course.Under kuffar laws,man is practically at the mercy of a woman.

        I feel bad for these guys.They are gonna get enslaved by the woman they marry.
        Why not! For centuries men have enslaved women in the name of religion, culture, and whatnot.
        It's better than us becoming a slave of man. No thank you.
        Last edited by Ariadne; 04-08-12, 06:22 PM.
        :GB_bonesrock:
        And all the heavens go their way.... And only change is here to stay...

        Comment


        • Re: Pologamy,The Benefits for Men and Women.

          Originally posted by arachnide View Post
          ^^^ Can we all be like Rasulullah SAAW? About him marrying Aisha, there's a different story. After Khadija's death, a sahabiyah asked him he could marry a virgin (bikr) or a widow. She said the widow one is Saudah, and the virgin one is Aisha. What was Rasulullah SAAW did? He married Saudah, who's an elder widow, and for 1 year and half she's his only wife. But then, the Archangel Gabriel came to his dream with a woman behind a veil saying "she is your wife". When Rasulullah SAAW revealed the veil, that was Aisha (r.a) and he immediately know it's Allah SWT himself who wants him to marry Aisha.

          Why? If Rasulullah SAAW wants, he could choose Aisha in the first place, but he instead chose an elder widow Saudah. If a layman guys nowaday can have a choice like Rasulullah SAAW, between choosing an elder widow or virgin teenager --- you don't have to ask what will he choose first? But Rasulullah SAAW is a noble man. His polygamy is NOT layman's polygamy.



          "Your opinions doesn't count".
          Ha! Hands down, the mask is slipped away
          Of course, men are kings. Marry whoever you want, don't give a damn if your first wife is hurt. Why? Because their opinion doesn't count.




          Why not! For centuries men have enslaved women in the name of religion, culture, and whatnot.
          It's better than us becoming a slave of man. No thank you.
          No doubt about that.Hands down :up:

          Comment


          • Re: Pologamy,The Benefits for Men and Women.

            Originally posted by arachnide View Post
            His polygamy is NOT layman's polygamy.
            His everything is superior to the layman's anything, :saw:.

            However, he is the ideal, and his actions have determined what is allowed and what is not. Nothing he said or did was not from revelation.

            One should be fair. You say men just want more young women. Are not men marrying divorcees and widows in monogamous marriages already? So then what makes you certain that all of a sudden no polygamist will? However yes, I am sure 100% there has to be someone out there only interested in marrying younger girls. My idea is, so what? Let him be, as long as he is even and just with all of them. Can anyone say his actions are haram? No. Can anyone say his actions do not benefit the ummah? Again, no. That would be who those girls were destined to marry, and he would still be taking care of them and tied to four families. Still though, as I said, the world is full of men already marrying divorcees and widows anyway. Listen, a woman divorced has stuff going for her, already you know chances are at least one other man had to have seen something in her that made them marry. It's not like no one will like them, how many a woman in my life have I seen or heard of getting remarried, happens all the time.

            Polygamy, when done right, is a burden on the man more than anything. He has four women to satisfy, it is no small feat. He has to hear all four of their troubles and complaints, and he has to keep all four happy and not at odds with each other with his own behaviors, and no matter how just he is, they will no doubt still find things to charge him with. So yeah, he gets to enjoy their company, cooking, etc. That's not life or what the married life is about though, a monogamous couple will already tell you that this is not all they do. Why then is the polygamist made out to be a lecher and a lowlife? If it's halal, don't rag on it. Some men don't do it right (and everyone loves to peddle these ever-growing and more exaggerated stories), but the world is full of people who do not practice almost anything properly, it's not really just an issue with polygamy. I can complain more to you about monogamous marriage problems than you can to me about polygamous ones. Or the innovations in the religion, or the oppression in the land, the list goes on. Doesn't mean our rules are not excellent, and it does not mean that there are arbitrary conditions to be placed on them by laymen who don't accept them fully.
            والمبادرة إلى التكفير إنما تغلب على طباع من يغلب عليهم الجهل - ابن تيمية رحمه الله - بغية المرتاد

            "Rushing towards takfir is an attitude which is dominant over those who are defeated by ignorance." - Ibn Taymiyyah Rahimahullah [Bughyatul Murtaad, page 354]

            Comment


            • Re: Pologamy,The Benefits for Men and Women.

              Originally posted by arachnide View Post
              NOT in my country. Alhamdulillah
              Doesn't matter what country we're in. Even if we were on Mars, we'd still follow that law since we're Muslims.
              Secure few moments, everyday, to reflect upon the innumerable blessings of Allah and thank Him for bestowing them upon you.

              "A person who is blessed with the ability to be grateful, shall never be deprived of barakah and increase in blessings."
              - Rasulullah (صلی اللہ علیہ وسلم)‎

              Comment


              • Re: Pologamy,The Benefits for Men and Women.

                I request for the thread to be closed. This topic has been discussed so much and an agreement will never be met. The same arguments are brought forward so we're just going round in circles. It's pointless especially in ramadhan.
                ▪️ 〰 Say what you wish in abuse of me, for my silence towards the idiot is indeed an answer. I am not at a loss for a response, but rather it does not befit the lion to answer the dogs. 〰 ▪️

                ~ IMAM SHAFI'I RH

                Comment


                • Re: Pologamy,The Benefits for Men and Women.

                  Originally posted by Hannahk92 View Post
                  I request for the thread to be closed. This topic has been discussed so much and an agreement will never be met. The same arguments are brought forward so we're just going round in circles. It's pointless especially in ramadhan.
                  I second that

                  It's always the same thing all over again only with different titles.

                  Comment


                  • Re: Pologamy,The Benefits for Men and Women.

                    Originally posted by arachnide View Post
                    NOT in my country. Alhamdulillah
                    Asalaamu Alaikum,

                    Maybe you don't mean it, but I don't think anyone should be proud if their country isn't ruling by the laws of Allah(swt). I'm sure divorce in your country is also sky high.

                    Allahu Allam.
                    A Fast Growing Islamic Search Website -

                    www.Searching-Islam.com

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                    • Re: Pologamy,The Benefits for Men and Women.

                      Originally posted by Hannahk92 View Post
                      I request for the thread to be closed. This topic has been discussed so much and an agreement will never be met. The same arguments are brought forward so we're just going round in circles. It's pointless especially in ramadhan.
                      Originally posted by geeksupremo View Post
                      I second that

                      It's always the same thing all over again only with different titles.
                      There are some slight changes, yes the opposition always brings the same points and prejudices, but every time I look into the matter and reply to them I come up with more reasons why polygamy is a great sunnah in Islam and how if done right it can be a huge benefit. I also never see the evidence backing up all the conditions they place, and come up with more reasons why the conditions themselves just don't work.

                      I don't know, I might just go and write a book on this subject by the end of all this.
                      والمبادرة إلى التكفير إنما تغلب على طباع من يغلب عليهم الجهل - ابن تيمية رحمه الله - بغية المرتاد

                      "Rushing towards takfir is an attitude which is dominant over those who are defeated by ignorance." - Ibn Taymiyyah Rahimahullah [Bughyatul Murtaad, page 354]

                      Comment


                      • Re: Pologamy,The Benefits for Men and Women.

                        Originally posted by علي View Post
                        There are some slight changes, yes the opposition always brings the same points and prejudices, but every time I look into the matter and reply to them I come up with more reasons why polygamy is a great sunnah in Islam and how if done right it can be a huge benefit. I also never see the evidence backing up all the conditions they place, and come up with more reasons why the conditions themselves just don't work.

                        I don't know, I might just go and write a book on this subject by the end of all this.
                        Lol, the answers# will always the be the same. Some men and women wouldn't do it, some men and women would.
                        ▪️ 〰 Say what you wish in abuse of me, for my silence towards the idiot is indeed an answer. I am not at a loss for a response, but rather it does not befit the lion to answer the dogs. 〰 ▪️

                        ~ IMAM SHAFI'I RH

                        Comment


                        • Re: Pologamy,The Benefits for Men and Women.

                          Sisters, first of all a man doesn't need an excuse or reason to get married to a second wife. It is all the same reasons that he would want to marry for the first time leading him to do it the second time. If he wants to get married, he can get married. Period.

                          Secondly, we need to put this into perspective. What is our objective in marriage? To own a man? To revolve around him? Or is it yet another way to worship Allah swt? We are not here to try to please our husbands for the sake of our relationships or our own pleasure. We don't get security from a relationship with another human being, we get security from our relationship with Allah. We are here to try to gain our husbands pleasure because that will be a cause for us to earn Allah's pleasure.

                          If your husband has the desire and means to get married, which is a commendable thing in which he can gain rewards, which none of us would deny in reference to first marriages, then do we want to be the one to stand in his way? If we prevent him, we will be a source of disappointment for him. If he remarries and finds his new wife brings more pleasure, satisfaction, and good deeds into his life, maybe even more than we ever could, the fact that we made that easy for him will make him more pleased with us. And if he remarries to find his new wife brings him less satisfaction, pleasure, and good deeds than he would have if he were with us alone, he will recognize our goodness and be even more appreciative of us. In terms of gaining the pleasure of our husbands, it is a win win situation. Not only that, if we handle ourselves well and are patient with this added difficulty in our life for the sake of Allah, we will not just grow as a person and develop spiritually, we will be given this opportunity to demonstrate our steadfastness which will further endear us to our husband and earn us a multitude of rewards from Allah. This life is short and we have one go at it, may as well give it all we can, doing what it will take to bring us to the level we are trying to achieve. So we need to ask ourselves, what are we really trying to achieve and what is the best way to get there?
                          Blessed is He in Whose Hand is the Dominion, and He is Able to do all things. (67.1)

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                          • Re: Pologamy,The Benefits for Men and Women.

                            sisters...this is something that allah s.w.t made lawful , so be careful when talking about it

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                            • Re: Pologamy,The Benefits for Men and Women.

                              ↑Sister, ultimately, marriage should be for the sake of Allah, of course. But, polygamy isn't everyone's cup of tea. Some sisters are Ok with it, while others can't cope with it. The thought of sharing their husband puts them off.
                              Secure few moments, everyday, to reflect upon the innumerable blessings of Allah and thank Him for bestowing them upon you.

                              "A person who is blessed with the ability to be grateful, shall never be deprived of barakah and increase in blessings."
                              - Rasulullah (صلی اللہ علیہ وسلم)‎

                              Comment


                              • Re: Pologamy,The Benefits for Men and Women.

                                Originally posted by .mirror. View Post
                                ↑Sister, ultimately, marriage should be for the sake of Allah, of course. But, polygamy isn't everyone's cup of tea. Some sisters are Ok with it, while others can't cope with it. The thought of sharing their husband puts them off.
                                War, violence, poverty, abuse, and corruption also isn't everyone's cup of tea but it is something we are faced with whether we are willing or not. That doesn't negate the fact that something that feels bad, wrong, or even evil to us can bring about a great deal of good and be the cause for many people to enter jannah if they accept it as the will of Allah expecting a reward from Him.
                                Last edited by inprogress; 05-08-12, 01:21 AM.
                                Blessed is He in Whose Hand is the Dominion, and He is Able to do all things. (67.1)

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