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Pologamy,The Benefits for Men and Women.

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  • #16
    Re: Pologamy,The Benefits for Men and Women.

    Originally posted by aekbal View Post
    well the benifits for men, can be seen as:

    1) another helping hand around the house and a easier lifestyle with less pressure,
    2) there is better education for children and upbringing,
    3) there are also significantly more women in the world than men, hence taking another women can mean having more children for the intrest of Islam and also protecting the woman from commiting sin from not getting married or if she cannot financially support herself due to divorce or other reasons she may choose prostitution this is a reason why taking another wife is advised.

    A good example can be seen the effects of male population after second world war and in any other war torn country where this is visible to the eye.

    4) There is a universal biological constraint in male and female reproduction. A woman’s reproductive capacity declines after her 20s and ends with menopause, but even a man in his 70s retains the ability to father children

    5)Islam also prohibits sexual relations during a woman’s monthly cycles. Therefore, the prolonged menstrual period of the woman which prevents the husband from having sex with her, or a man whose sexual urge is not satisfied by one wife, may marry another. Islam permits such men to realize their desire within a legal framework, making them responsible for their sexuality, so he does not have to resort to cohabitation or prostitution.

    I hope this will sum it up.
    How does polygamy give children better education? Unless he is very rich, the father will be able to afford less for their education b/c he now splits the money between them and another family. The money diminishes and he saves less for the education. What do you mean more helping hand around the house? The man has to provide separate living accomodations for both women unless they choose to live in the same house? And how does polygamy provide and easier lifestyle with less pressure? I would think its the opposite.
    Therefore remember Me, I will remember you, And be thankful to Me, and do not be ungrateful to Me." [Qur'an 2:152]
    Behold in the Remembrance of Allah do hearts find satisfaction."
    [Al Quran 13:28]
    ]

    Comment


    • #17
      Re: Pologamy,The Benefits for Men and Women.

      Originally posted by aekbal View Post
      3) there are also significantly more women in the world than men, hence taking another women can mean having more children for the intrest of Islam and also protecting the woman from commiting sin from not getting married or if she cannot financially support herself due to divorce or other reasons she may choose prostitution this is a reason why taking another wife is advised.
      As of right now, there are actually more men in the world than women. There are a lot of polygamy threads on this site, but it's much more important to get single men married. There is an over abundance of single men.

      Comment


      • #18
        Re: Pologamy,The Benefits for Men and Women.

        Originally posted by aekbal View Post
        can you re read them and try to apply logic to the answers, and finally if all else fails then feel free to ask again and I will answer
        Can't see the logic, please explain again, with logic this time. Thanx
        banans in pajamas are coming down the stairs
        bananas in pajamas are coming down in pairs
        bananas in pajamas are chasing teddy bears

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        • #19
          Re: Pologamy,The Benefits for Men and Women.

          Originally posted by Perseveranze View Post
          Asalaamu Alaikum,

          I don't really see it as having much benefit for the man... I mean, the responsibilities that come with it completely eradicate such prospects... It's more beneficial for women than it is for man imo.
          My thought exactly.
          banans in pajamas are coming down the stairs
          bananas in pajamas are coming down in pairs
          bananas in pajamas are chasing teddy bears

          Comment


          • #20
            Re: Pologamy,The Benefits for Men and Women.

            Originally posted by muslimahc View Post
            I was tempted to list the disadvantages, but that's not the topic so I'll try to see the bright side of polygamy for once:

            For men:
            1. More variety in intimacy
            2. More variety in food
            3. Wives will put more effort into the marriage to compete for your love, affection and money
            4. More children

            I can't think of anymore right now. The disadvantages are more numerous.
            1.) Variety in intimacy - Not an advantage at all, you may end up loving one and hating the other, leading to other problems like being unjust, when you come the the one you don't enjoy you end up making excuses, I got a headache, not today, maybe next week, all the time trying to keep your energy on reserve mode to save up for the wife you enjoy more.

            2.) Variety in food - Not unless they are all good cooks and you really love to eat.

            3.) Wives putting more effort - Good if it works, but I think it may grow more resentment too, especially if they feel after trying so hard they are still not achieving what they are trying to. Always comparing, always trying to outdo the other can lead to many psychological issues.

            4.) More children - Means more money needed, more time needed, added pressure. Not a big advantage, but acceptable for someone who has a high need to have more than 5 or 6 kids. Most guys will be happy with 3 or 4 I think.
            banans in pajamas are coming down the stairs
            bananas in pajamas are coming down in pairs
            bananas in pajamas are chasing teddy bears

            Comment


            • #21
              Re: Pologamy,The Benefits for Men and Women.

              Originally posted by muslimahc View Post
              I was tempted to list the disadvantages, but that's not the topic so I'll try to see the bright side of polygamy for once:

              For women:
              1. More chances of finding a husband and having a family of their own
              2. More time for herself
              3. For those who are widowed, a father figure for their children.
              For men:
              1. More variety in intimacy
              2. More variety in food
              3. Wives will put more effort into the marriage to compete for your love, affection and money
              4. More children

              I can't think of anymore right now. The disadvantages are more numerous.
              Nothing but more hardship for men.

              The benefits women derive from polygamy outweighs the benefits derived by men.

              Not a good choice for men in this current world.

              Comment


              • #22
                Re: Pologamy,The Benefits for Men and Women.

                "3) there are also significantly more women in the world than men"

                http://www.indexmundi.com/world/sex_ratio.html

                Sex ratio: at birth: 1.07 male(s)/female
                under 15 years: 1.07 male(s)/female
                15-64 years: 1.02 male(s)/female
                65 years and over: 0.79 male(s)/female
                total population: 1.01 male(s)/female (2011 est.)

                Source: CIA World Factbook - Unless otherwise noted, information in this page is accurate as of July 26, 2012
                Last edited by rks2046; 02-08-12, 08:58 AM.

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                • #23
                  Re: Pologamy,The Benefits for Men and Women.

                  Originally posted by JJ79 View Post
                  1.) Variety in intimacy - Not an advantage at all, you may end up loving one and hating the other, leading to other problems like being unjust, when you come the the one you don't enjoy you end up making excuses, I got a headache, not today, maybe next week, all the time trying to keep your energy on reserve mode to save up for the wife you enjoy more.

                  2.) Variety in food - Not unless they are all good cooks and you really love to eat.
                  True, things like these are what cause favoritism. Polygamy causes competition and hurts ones marriage while it strengthens the others. If it is only you and your husband, maybe he'll voie his satisfication to you so you can improve things. However, if there is another there to compete for his affection, he will just run to her instead of try to work on things with you. It is extremely hard to be fair in polygamy. If he is at the house f the less favored wife the other one, he will be thinking about the one he favors and looking forward to getting back to her. And we women are not stupid. Despite all the sweet talking and excuses we can see. Many just ignore it to deal with the hurt.
                  3.) Wives putting more effort - Good if it works, but I think it may grow more resentment too, especially if they feel after trying so hard they are still not achieving what they are trying to. Always comparing, always trying to outdo the other can lead to many psychological issues.
                  Right. Your marriage will just turn into a competition instead of a partnership where your love increases everyday and you help bring each other close to Allah. Instead you will be to usy trying not to lose your husband to the other woman.
                  4.)
                  More children - Means more money needed, more time needed, added pressure. Not a big advantage, but acceptable for someone who has a high need to have more than 5 or 6 kids. Most guys will be happy with 3 or 4 I think.
                  I don't know why a man would want excessive kids like 10 or more but some do. I think anywhere from 3-6 should make you happy especially if you have a mix of both sexes. Even if not you shoud still be happy with Allah's gifts as that's what children are. I would think a good father would love to have enough time to love and know all his kids and even basic things like remember their name.

                  I told you it is easier to think of more disadvantages. This is why brothers need to think long and hard before marrying more women as polygamy is more of a RESPONSIBILITY. It was made to protect widows and orphans. But most men when they see a pretty woman lose all their senses and don't think rationally. After a while, that pretty woman's beauty will fade so you need to think about how adding her to your family will affet not only your life but that of your first wife and CHILDREN especially. I feel like many polygamists are too busy go after their ownn happiness and desire and ignore the consequences of their decisions.

                  Like most other women I prefer to be my husband's only wife. I don't want my marriage to turn into a contest. I don't want t have to compete for everything when it comes to the man I love. Many women in these situations have to compete for things they shouldn't like money for their children's food or school fees b/c the foolish man is too busy giving it all to his new wife and children. I don't know if I should bring up the polygamy topic with a potential. I mean one who I am serious with and we are almost about to finalize things. Not one I just begin meeting. I want my future husband to know my concerns for myself and my children so that if he does decide to do it he can at least take those into consideration. I come from a West African community where polygamy is VERY common so it is something that scares me.
                  Last edited by muslimahc; 02-08-12, 02:20 PM.
                  Therefore remember Me, I will remember you, And be thankful to Me, and do not be ungrateful to Me." [Qur'an 2:152]
                  Behold in the Remembrance of Allah do hearts find satisfaction."
                  [Al Quran 13:28]
                  ]

                  Comment


                  • #24
                    Re: Pologamy,The Benefits for Men and Women.

                    Originally posted by Remember12345 View Post
                    Nothing but more hardship for men.

                    The benefits women derive from polygamy outweighs the benefits derived by men.

                    Not a good choice for men in this current world.
                    It is a hardship for women as well unless you are his favorite wife.
                    Therefore remember Me, I will remember you, And be thankful to Me, and do not be ungrateful to Me." [Qur'an 2:152]
                    Behold in the Remembrance of Allah do hearts find satisfaction."
                    [Al Quran 13:28]
                    ]

                    Comment


                    • #25
                      Re: Pologamy,The Benefits for Men and Women.

                      Originally posted by muslimahc View Post
                      I don't know why a man would want excessive kids like 10 or more but some do. I think anywhere from 3-6 should make you happy especially if you have a mix of both sexes. Even if not you shoud still be happy with Allah's gifts as that's what children are. I would think a good father would love to have enough time to love and know all his kids and even basic things like remember their name.

                      I told you it is easier to think of more disadvantages. This is why brothers need to think long and hard before marrying more women as polygamy is more of a RESPONSIBILITY. It was made to protect widows and orphans. But most men when they see a pretty woman lose all their senses and don't think rationally. After a while, that pretty woman's beauty will fade so you need to think about how adding her to your family will affet not only your life but that of your first wife and CHILDREN especially. I feel like many polygamists are too busy go after their ownn happiness and desire and ignore the consequences of their decisions.

                      Like most other women I prefer to be my husband's only wife. I don't want my marriage to turn into a contest. I don't want t have to compete for everything when it comes to the man I love. Many women in these situations have to compete for things they shouldn't like money for their children's food or school fees b/c the foolish man is too busy giving it all to his new wife and children. I don't know if I should bring up the polygamy topic with a potential. I mean one who I am serious with and we are almost about to finalize things. Not one I just begin meeting. I want my future husband to know my concerns for myself and my children so that if he does decide to do it he can at least take those into consideration. I come from a West African community where polygamy is VERY common so it is something that scares me.
                      I agree there are men who don't practise polygamy correctly. However I must say I am not at all against it. If done correctly it can be a blessing, it is after all a sunnah. I just don't see many benefits in it for the man. I believe polygamy benefits women more than men.

                      The west together with some not so god fearing muslim men have given it a totally different complexion, one of abuse, resentment and injustice to women.
                      banans in pajamas are coming down the stairs
                      bananas in pajamas are coming down in pairs
                      bananas in pajamas are chasing teddy bears

                      Comment


                      • #26
                        Re: Pologamy,The Benefits for Men and Women.

                        Originally posted by JJ79 View Post
                        I agree there are men who don't practise polygamy correctly. However I must say I am not at all against it. If done correctly it can be a blessing, it is after all a sunnah. I just don't see many benefits in it for the man. I believe polygamy benefits women more than men.

                        The west together with some not so god fearing muslim men have given it a totally different complexion, one of abuse, resentment and injustice to women.
                        Agreed, big time. It does benefit more women as a whole. Just think about it, a woman living alone all her life, often a burden on the family, is told that she can now marry someone. Her life will be brightened up, she will be happy and hopeful. I always say this, but a married woman is honored, by her husband and by her friends, among whom she will be respected.

                        This is the case, regardless of whether or not the man is married, maybe girls on forums and such are very vocal against it, but there's a world out there with women who, at the end of the day, really just want to be married and taken care of.

                        That's why I agree with your view it is better for women as a whole. The man just has to take care of more people. Sure there are benefits, but people need to realize that there's a whole life out there outside of the fact that yes, he will be intimate with more women, and yes, when he sits on the table he might have something new to eat.
                        والمبادرة إلى التكفير إنما تغلب على طباع من يغلب عليهم الجهل - ابن تيمية رحمه الله - بغية المرتاد

                        "Rushing towards takfir is an attitude which is dominant over those who are defeated by ignorance." - Ibn Taymiyyah Rahimahullah [Bughyatul Murtaad, page 354]

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                        • #27
                          Re: Pologamy,The Benefits for Men and Women.

                          The women who just want to get married are not the once who have access to internet or in position to voice their opinion. Unfortunately they are underprivileged sisters. However, these sisters are also not the sisters guys aim for when seeking wife. Hopefully more polygamy will be with single mothers in need of support instead of young virgin who’s was enchanting.

                          Comment


                          • #28
                            Re: Pologamy,The Benefits for Men and Women.

                            Originally posted by علي View Post
                            Agreed, big time. It does benefit more women as a whole. Just think about it, a woman living alone all her life, often a burden on the family, is told that she can now marry someone. Her life will be brightened up, she will be happy and hopeful. I always say this, but a married woman is honored, by her husband and by her friends, among whom she will be respected.

                            This is the case, regardless of whether or not the man is married, maybe girls on forums and such are very vocal against it, but there's a world out there with women who, at the end of the day, really just want to be married and taken care of.

                            That's why I agree with your view it is better for women as a whole. The man just has to take care of more people. Sure there are benefits, but people need to realize that there's a whole life out there outside of the fact that yes, he will be intimate with more women, and yes, when he sits on the table he might have something new to eat.
                            most woman want to love one man

                            they dont want their 'man' shared around like pass the parcel.

                            'when he sits on the table he might have something new to eat'. LOL ridicilous.

                            honestly, i am against polygamy as most people don't practice it properly. it's abused.

                            think of how many families are broken down coz the husband decides to run, get a new wife, and bring her home.

                            breaking family ties is one of the greatest sins after shirk according to this book i read.

                            it would spell disaster for most families. it doesn't do good. it causes headache. how is the husband supposed to financially manage too, by caring for multiple families? especially since most 'brothers' who want 'polygamy' are the type to say NO, YOU AREN'T ALLOWED TO WORK, WOMAN.

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                            • #29
                              Re: Pologamy,The Benefits for Men and Women.

                              Originally posted by Massilia View Post
                              Now the benefits for the husband, lol do we really need to explain them?
                              i like the way you put it lol

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                              • #30
                                Re: Pologamy,The Benefits for Men and Women.

                                i honestly can't think of any benefits for the husband.

                                no, i really can't.

                                unless of course you mean the husband is so horny that he might commit adultary that he has to marry someone else.

                                which to me suggests something is wrong altogether.

                                'THE WIFE IS MESNTRAATING, THE HUSBAND MIGHT COMMIT HARAM. THINK OF THE POOR HUSBAND! WILL SOMEBODY PLEASE THINK OF THE POOR HUSBANDS?!'

                                this is a logic i will never understand. a few days = nothing. if you have survived 23 years of your life being single and chaste, a few years shouldn't hurt, especially if you TRULY love your wife.

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