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Flirting or socialising ??!

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  • flashnazia
    replied
    Re: Flirting or socialising ??!

    Originally posted by Muslimah3000 View Post
    I'll draw a picture, a sister and her husband are going to an agency, where a woman works, and she's the only one that can serve you, your husbands gets closer, and ask her about informations, while smiling (big smiles) and she's as we'll smiling her head of, being very very kind to him and all happy, then asks him, let's say, to sign somewhere to get that something the couple wanted, he says: oh I forgot my pen can I have one, the lady gives him one and he goes: can I keep it? I already paid a lot to get this paper, and they both go: hihihi hahaha laughing, and then he goes, can I not have a discount? And again she goes no I'm afraid not and they both go : hihihi hahaha....

    What does it called? And is it ok to behave this way?
    It sounds like he was being nice to her in order to get a discount?

    I think people - men and women - need to be rational about this. Sometimes, if you want to achieve good customer service you have to be friendly and 'nice'. The customer service profession in the uk is quite low paid and staff sometimes cannot be bothered. If you appear uppity or aloof you are unlikely to get a good service from staff.

    Furthermore, I read somewhere that the prophet (pbuh) was laughing and joking when he delivered the infamous talk to women about ungrateful women being in hell. You wouldn't say he was flirting would you?

    Don't drive your husbands away by being irrational is all I can say.

    Leave a comment:


  • Zesty
    replied
    Re: Flirting or socialising ??!

    Slap him? Nah but jab him hard in the ribs with your elbow, give him big deadly evil eyes which say "just wait till you get out of this building" and them smile sweetly and innocently and say "sweety you don't need this ladies pen, maybe she didn't wash her hands after gong to the loo, here you can use my pen" :rotfl:

    Leave a comment:


  • bluesnowman
    replied
    Re: Flirting or socialising ??!

    Salaam,

    Where I work, I lower my gaze...but most of the time I have to work with Woman. There are sometimes where there is only us male employees...but that's rare and those are on days that I do have off. I can't do anything about it, other than avoid contact, but I always say Hi, ask how they and there families are doing, and if they need any help (remember I work in the food Industry) like making drinks or carrying food I help them. But other than that, I keep to myself. And for those of you that cannot tell between socializing and Flirting, trust me there are definitely ways one can tell.

    Leave a comment:


  • Muslimah3000
    replied
    Re: Flirting or socialising ??!

    Originally posted by Hannahk92 View Post
    As you can see above I agreed with brother mirror and I admit I came in a little too fast with my comment but i still wouldn't just stand there.
    I think the best way is to wait until they both go home and have a face to face peaceful talk, not a violent one thou

    Leave a comment:


  • Hannahk92
    replied
    Re: Flirting or socialising ??!

    Originally posted by Soliloquy View Post
    No offence but I don't understand women who blame the other woman, I always blame the husband... lol. Just like if it was the other way round, I wouldn't blame the other man but the wife. After all, it is your spouse doing this, s/he didn't need to reciprocate.

    Where its a situation with a non-Muslim and a Muslim, the Muslim ought to know better. Always. Why? Because the command against the zina of the eyes, tongue, etc. is an order that only the Muslim would care about.



    If he does... is he worth being with? Where is the fear of Allah? :/



    Its the man's job to deal with it in a situation like this... he's a Muslim, he should back away or get to the point of this whole conversation quickly and leave.
    As you can see above I agreed with brother mirror and I admit I came in a little too fast with my comment but i still wouldn't just stand there.

    Leave a comment:


  • mizfissy815
    replied
    Re: Flirting or socialising ??!

    This thread sure crushed any stereotypes about men being the only ones that can be irrational when it comes to their spouse and 'gheerah'.

    Leave a comment:


  • .mirror.
    replied
    Re: Flirting or socialising ??!

    Originally posted by Muslimah3000 View Post
    Get a discount on the amount they have to pay not on the pen
    Oh. Lol. Still...

    Leave a comment:


  • Muslimah3000
    replied
    Re: Flirting or socialising ??!

    Originally posted by .mirror. View Post
    If I
    .

    Get a discount on a pen?
    Get a discount on the amount they have to pay not on the pen

    Leave a comment:


  • Soliloquy
    replied
    Re: Flirting or socialising ??!

    No offence but I don't understand women who blame the other woman, I always blame the husband... lol. Just like if it was the other way round, I wouldn't blame the other man but the wife. After all, it is your spouse doing this, s/he didn't need to reciprocate.

    Where its a situation with a non-Muslim and a Muslim, the Muslim ought to know better. Always. Why? Because the command against the zina of the eyes, tongue, etc. is an order that only the Muslim would care about.

    Originally posted by Hannahk92 View Post
    Basically not to harsh and not soft if you're too soft he's going to think its okay, but if you're too soft he's going to get annoyed and do it anyay just too annoy you. Tell him you're not happy with it and provide him proofs from hadith or qur'an to show it is wrong what he is doing.
    If he does... is he worth being with? Where is the fear of Allah? :/

    Originally posted by Hannahk92 View Post
    Put yourself in the wifes situation if you and a non-mahram woman we;re getting a little too close what would you expect her to do? Some women out there aren't very good at taking hints.
    Its the man's job to deal with it in a situation like this... he's a Muslim, he should back away or get to the point of this whole conversation quickly and leave.

    Leave a comment:


  • .mirror.
    replied
    Re: Flirting or socialising ??!

    Alhamdulillah. May Allah never put you in a situation like that and keep your bond strong with your husband.

    Leave a comment:


  • Hannahk92
    replied
    Re: Flirting or socialising ??!

    Originally posted by .mirror. View Post
    If I were getting too fresh with a non-mahram, then 50% of the blame is on me. So, if she deserves a slap, then I do, too.

    And, no, I don't think slapping and hitting is the way to solve this but just making a point. You can't free your husband from blame when clearly he's engaged in the conversation and driving it forward with the lame jokes.

    Get a discount on a pen?
    Yeah you're right akhi. I find it hard keeping my anger inside sometimes, I've struggled with it since I can remember. I don't lose my cool with my husband though and he knows how to calm me down.

    Leave a comment:


  • .mirror.
    replied
    Re: Flirting or socialising ??!

    Originally posted by Hannahk92 View Post
    Put yourself in the wifes situation if you and a non-mahram woman we;re getting a little too close what would you expect her to do? Some women out there aren't very good at taking hints.
    If I were getting too fresh with a non-mahram, then 50% of the blame is on me. So, if she deserves a slap, then I do, too.

    And, no, I don't think slapping and hitting is the way to solve this but just making a point. You can't free your husband from blame when clearly he's engaged in the conversation and driving it forward with the lame jokes.

    Get a discount on a pen?

    Leave a comment:


  • .mirror.
    replied
    Re: Flirting or socialising ??!

    Originally posted by Muslimah3000 View Post
    Like? What's the best way
    Be straightforward and tell him that you don't think it was appropriate the way you were joking with the teller.

    It also depends on your husband and if he knows his Islamic limits. I know many men would say, "Oh, you're being too extreme." Insha'Allah, best to get these things cleared out before marriage or else they escalate in to bigger problems.

    Leave a comment:


  • Hannahk92
    replied
    Re: Flirting or socialising ??!

    Originally posted by .mirror. View Post
    Sisters should keep their hands to themselves. Slapping isn't going to solve anytihng, esp when it's your husband who is at fault, first and foremost.

    You're representing Islam when you go out wearing a hijab, so we have to remember that people aren't going to point fingers at you, but at Islam and how we're violent.

    Plus, women shouldn't be getting violent, anyways. The husband should be man enough to walk away and end the conversation, but ig he carries on, then he's at fault, too.
    Put yourself in the wifes situation if you and a non-mahram woman we;re getting a little too close what would you expect her to do? Some women out there aren't very good at taking hints.

    Leave a comment:


  • .mirror.
    replied
    Re: Flirting or socialising ??!

    If you've read the scenario posted, the lame "pen joke," it's pretty clear the husband is at fault. Not much room for "benefit of the doubt."

    Leave a comment:

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