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  • Women and Age

    Salaam All,

    As I was skimming through some threads and posts on this forum , I couldn't help but notice how negative and backwards some of your comments are in regards to women's ideal age for marriage and being lonely can only mean that you are sexually deprived and need to get married.

    Seriously, joking and mocking others because they are too old and career orientated is incredibly rude especially from our fellow Muslims. It is all very sexist .

    I was born in the 80s and I have been fortunate enough to have lived so long but it hurts when people judge you because of your AGE.

    I work so I can provide for my family and I am very decent Alhumdullillah.
    You guys complain that there are too many women who are career forcused and they cannot maintain a family while this may be partly true but NOT all women are like that.

    In our Asian community there are few organisations that offer opportunities to meet potential partners.

    I would like to conclude that it is easy to say get married but harder to sustain it.

    Insha Allah I hope people could be considerate in regards to the above issue.

    Thank you for reading.
    Last edited by Green786; 23-07-12, 07:11 PM.
    "Try to distance yourself from everything that causes you worry and sadness, so that you may always live with peace of mind and an open and tranquil heart, seeking Allah and His worship and working on your worldly and otherworldly matters, for if you try this, you will find rest.

  • #2
    Well said!

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    • #3
      Re: Women and Age

      Originally posted by Green786 View Post
      I hope people could be considerate
      You might be in the wrong place.

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: Women and Age

        ^ I thought I mention it anyway even if no good comes out of it.
        "Try to distance yourself from everything that causes you worry and sadness, so that you may always live with peace of mind and an open and tranquil heart, seeking Allah and His worship and working on your worldly and otherworldly matters, for if you try this, you will find rest.

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: Women and Age

          Green786 - im alil confuzzled are you a miss or a mistah? (u a gal or a bwoy?)
          Seen afew of ur other posts and its got me lil mind in a twist.

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          • #6
            Re: Women and Age

            Must have missed those threads but maybe those people are attacking girls who put their careers or education before marriage.

            But yes good point
            My ♥ only lets الله‎ in
            ‘O Allah, forgive me, have mercy upon me, guide me, give me health and grant me sustenance.’
            “Once you are real you can't become unreal again. It lasts for always.”

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            • #7
              Re: Women and Age

              Whatever u do there will be someone who is not happy with it, either you are too young why you getting married, or too old why you not married yet, or whatever else. So you do what you want, and just ignore people cos u will never please everyone so dont worry about it too much :)
              .: Rufaida :.
              .:Fa Firroo Ila-llaah:.
              http://s61.photobucket.com/albums/h6...th_Silence.jpg
              “People praise you for what they suppose is in you,
              but you must blame your soul for what you know is in you.”
              ~ Ibn Atallah

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              • #8
                Re: Women and Age

                Originally posted by .: Anna :. View Post
                Whatever u do there will be someone who is not happy with it, either you are too young why you getting married, or too old why you not married yet, or whatever else. So you do what you want, and just ignore people cos u will never please everyone so dont worry about it too much :)
                True say. We should only care about what Allah (swt) thinks about us not other people.
                ▪️••• 〰 Say what you wish in abuse of me, for my silence towards the idiot is indeed an answer. I am not at a loss for a response, but rather it does not befit the lion to answer the dogs. 〰 •••▪️

                ~ IMAM SHAFI'I RH

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                • #9
                  Re: Women and Age

                  Originally posted by Green786 View Post
                  Salaam All,

                  As I was skimming through some threads and posts on this forum , I couldn't help but notice how negative and backwards some of your comments are in regards to women's ideal age for marriage and being lonely can only mean that you are sexually deprived and need to get married.

                  Seriously, joking and mocking others because they are too old and career orientated is incredibly rude especially from our fellow Muslims. It is all very sexist .

                  I was born in the 80s and I have been fortunate enough to have lived so long but it hurts when people judge you because of your AGE.

                  I work so I can provide for my family and I am very decent Alhumdullillah.
                  You guys complain that there are too many women who are career forcused and they cannot maintain a family while this may be partly true but NOT all women are like that.

                  In our Asian community there are few organisations that offer opportunities to meet potential partners.

                  I would like to conclude that it is easy to say get married but harder to sustain it.

                  Insha Allah I hope people could be considerate in regards to the above issue.

                  Thank you for reading.
                  Wa Aalaikum assalam,

                  It is of course wrong for a Muslim to speak ill of other Muslims. And if people are attacking others for being too old, or backbiting a sister for having a career then that is wrong.

                  However, Islam is a comprehensive belief, with systems, and a viewpoint in life.

                  It is understandable that under today's system, women are often emotionally/psychologically/or physically coerced into working. However, it is important to try to combat this by creating avenues where a muslim woman can focus on her core responsibilities, and have men focus on theirs. It is also important to combat the incorrect ideas society teaches with correct ones.

                  The mixing of roles has lead to a breakdown in family life, and also the superwoman complex.

                  No woman should feel that she has no value if she works. In fact, it should be the other way around, where women who work feel devalued because they moved away from what was supposed to be their focus.

                  It is much like the hollywood industry. In Islam, the actor is a lowly position, who basically earns a living by being a false person. However, today it is the opposite, and these people from hollywood are taken as role models by society.

                  That is all I wished to say. I understand your position must be difficulty sister, so may Allah make it easy for you!
                  If you have any questions feel free to PM me!

                  Humililty, Sincerity, and the quest for Truth. There is no purpose in life but to seek the pleasure of Allah.
                  There is a possibility a female might use this account to read something!

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                  • #10
                    Re: Women and Age

                    Originally posted by Green786 View Post
                    Seriously, joking and mocking others because they are too old and career orientated is incredibly rude especially from our fellow Muslims. It is all very sexist .
                    This forum is "ummah" not secularists or westerners. A woman shouldn't be faulted for her age, that is something Allah had ordained for her, and I'm not going to be upset with Allah for making her a particular age. A woman's age isn't a problem in marriage, and Muslims that make it a problem should be ashamed of themselves. There is another thing in your post which is a problem. We're all Muslims and we should be "deen-oriented." It is perfectly understandable for a brother to want to marry someone that'll put her children first. In Islam, it's fard for the guy to earn a living, not the girl. It's the girl that carries the baby for 9 months. Then it's her milk that nourishes the baby for 2 years. That's very difficult to do if it was her full-time job. Babies feed several times a day. It'll be very hard for her to make a career and not diminish anything in terms of raising the children. And a lot of guys don't want that. So there is nothing wrong with brothers wanting to stay away from career-oriented women. And there is nothing wrong with a culture that values stay-at-home moms over career-women.

                    As far as the sexism is concern, Islam is sexist, and so is reality. Why do you think women have to wear a hijab and men don't.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Re: Women and Age

                      Originally posted by Muslim2 View Post
                      As far as the sexism is concern, Islam is sexist, and so is reality. Why do you think women have to wear a hijab and men don't.
                      What is your definition of sexist?

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Re: Women and Age

                        Originally posted by Muslim2 View Post
                        This forum is "ummah" not secularists or westerners. A woman shouldn't be faulted for her age, that is something Allah had ordained for her, and I'm not going to be upset with Allah for making her a particular age. A woman's age isn't a problem in marriage, and Muslims that make it a problem should be ashamed of themselves. There is another thing in your post which is a problem. We're all Muslims and we should be "deen-oriented." It is perfectly understandable for a brother to want to marry someone that'll put her children first. In Islam, it's fard for the guy to earn a living, not the girl. It's the girl that carries the baby for 9 months. Then it's her milk that nourishes the baby for 2 years. That's very difficult to do if it was her full-time job. Babies feed several times a day. It'll be very hard for her to make a career and not diminish anything in terms of raising the children. And a lot of guys don't want that. So there is nothing wrong with brothers wanting to stay away from career-oriented women. And there is nothing wrong with a culture that values stay-at-home moms over career-women.

                        As far as the sexism is concern, Islam is sexist, and so is reality. Why do you think women have to wear a hijab and men don't.
                        Islam protects us in many ways. One of them is wearing the hijab.

                        What is your definition of sexist???
                        "Innalilahi wa inna ilayhi rajioon" To Allah we belong and to Him we shall return." (Quran Surat Al Baqarah 2:156)
                        "Every soul shall have a taste of death, then to us you will be ultimately returned." (Quran Surat Al Ankaboot 29:57)

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                        • #13
                          Re: Women and Age

                          it's simple, look atProphet Muhammed (saw) and Hazrat Khadijah (ra). nothing can IDE behind it. his first marriage and Allah swt could have given him a young beautiful virgin princess. this is a way of starting to elevate the status of women, when at that time, they were looked at just in the same way some men talk negatively, especially when looking for a spouse. many women have married late, from no choice of their own, and had many beautiful healthy children. so age depending on the case, for both men and women depends and should not be scrutinized.
                          DO NOT PRIVATE MESSAGE IF YOU DON'T KNOW ME.

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                          • #14
                            Re: Women and Age

                            Everybody has their own opinions, prefrences etc, we may never be able to change that. If someone doesn't want an older wife, non virgin or career oriented one that is their choice however odd or backward that may seem to us, bottom line is, it's their life.
                            Last edited by JJ79; 24-07-12, 11:36 AM.
                            banans in pajamas are coming down the stairs
                            bananas in pajamas are coming down in pairs
                            bananas in pajamas are chasing teddy bears

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                            • #15
                              Re: Women and Age

                              It doesnt matter what people say, I learnt that long ago.

                              What matters in what you do to strive in the path of Allah swt.

                              If you make Allah swt and His ridha your concern, then he will look after you one way or another!

                              After 4 years on this forum, ive read every possible insult I could have. To be honest it doesnt bother me in the slightets, rather highlights the mindset of those who write and think in such a matter, and its not really any on my concern. Alhumdollilah.
                              وَالْعَصْرِ

                              إِنَّ الْإِنسَانَ لَفِي خُسْرٍ

                              إِلَّا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا وَعَمِلُوا الصَّالِحَاتِ وَتَوَاصَوْا بِالْحَقِّ وَتَوَاصَوْا بِالصَّبْرِ

                              "If Allah (swt) only sent this Surah to us, for the guidance of Mankind, this will be enough for us” - Imam Shaafi'ee r.a.

                              "Yeh dunya daar e faani hain, Tum apna dil mat lagaon, Ganimat samaj zinadagee ki bahar, aana na hoga, yahaa baar baar......"

                              Khanqah Habibiyah

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