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The Full Package

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  • Ironic
    replied
    Re: The Full Package

    Originally posted by MissCurly View Post
    To me it seems most people dont actually know what they really want, or know whats good for them so they make a 'list' that they think is right for them.

    And it surprises me how many people forget compatibility at personality level.

    My advice for your friend is to keep an open mind, AND each prospective partner he meets, meet with the utmost respect. And seriously consider that persons views and see if they are compatible to his own.
    ^^ Sensible advice.

    JazakAllah Khair

    Leave a comment:


  • MissCurly
    replied
    Re: The Full Package

    To me it seems most people dont actually know what they really want, or know whats good for them so they make a 'list' that they think is right for them.

    And it surprises me how many people forget compatibility at personality level.

    My advice for your friend is to keep an open mind, AND each prospective partner he meets, meet with the utmost respect. And seriously consider that persons views and see if they are compatible to his own.

    Leave a comment:


  • mundo
    replied
    Re: The Full Package

    These things are from Allah. Including a person's inclination towards religion. Deen is something Allah embeds into people's hearts.

    Looks, intelligence, wealth, status etc are huge trial from Allah. A lot of people who have it turn their back on the deen in their arrogance and pride. I know about girls who are from good backgrounds take of their hijab because they think they are too pretty. People who are supposedly religious spend on lavish and silly things to uphold their status in the community.

    The vast majority of people who accepted Islam in the early days were all poor. There were very few rich people who did accept Islam. Their wealth was a barrier for them accepting the faith.

    A person should be thankful for what he has already received. Who knows if we had these things maybe we would end up murtad as well (naudhubillah) - like many muslims have.

    If someone does have it then alhamdulillah, I guess they would want someone at their own level - good luck to them.

    Leave a comment:


  • .mirror.
    replied
    Re: The Full Package

    Originally posted by Uthmani View Post
    I don't like this full package thing, just because a person doesn't have one quality then that means he/she isn't "full".
    :there: It's OK. We are all missing that 1 quality, that's what makes us perfect.

    Leave a comment:


  • al-siddiq
    replied
    Re: The Full Package

    Originally posted by Uthmani View Post
    I don't like this full package thing, just because a person doesn't have one quality then that means he/she isn't "full".
    This!

    Plus you're in Canada!

    Leave a comment:


  • Uthmani
    replied
    Re: The Full Package

    I don't like this full package thing, just because a person doesn't have one quality then that means he/she isn't "full".

    Leave a comment:


  • Ironic
    replied
    Re: The Full Package

    JazakAllah for all your comments and advice.

    It is greatly appreciated.

    Leave a comment:


  • al-siddiq
    replied
    Re: The Full Package

    Wa Aalaikum Assalam,

    Since when was it unreasonable to ask for someone you are attracted to, who loves Allah very much, and who shows intelligence thus will be firm on her deen?

    What I tell brothers (and sisters) is to marry someone who is 'at their level' or above their level in the deen aspect.

    When one person in the marriage is too attractive, or is far more islamic than the other, it can often times cause some problems. We see them here in this section on an almost daily basis =/.

    Trust in Allah, and marry someone righteous. Certain conditions of course should go (like that family thing).

    Leave a comment:


  • .mirror.
    replied
    Re: The Full Package

    ↑I'm sure it's a "he."

    Leave a comment:


  • aekbal
    replied
    Re: The Full Package

    me thinks that she needs to lower expectations sicne we are all not perfect, rather to find someone perfect why not have someone who goes the extra mile?
    something to think about?

    Leave a comment:


  • Optimistic
    replied
    Re: The Full Package

    Originally posted by Jenicca View Post
    If you are expecting from the created, there you are in trouble.

    If you are asking from the Creator, then subhan'Allah there is nothing that is lacking in HIs vast Dominion, and nothing wrong at all in asking from Him. In fact we ought to ask from him, again and again.

    One of the sure fire ways of attracting more of Allah swt mercy and blessings in shukr, so tell your friend to utilise all that Allah swt has blessed with him to obey Allahs command, and to not be ungrateful or disobedient in this regard.

    Dont go in to specifics - ie....we may ask Allah swt to make us "patient", but in order Jfor us to learn patience, we may have to go through a lot of trials to develop this quality.

    So perhaps just ask for khair and aafiyah in the spouse that you seek, a person who Allah swt in His Hikmah knows that is good for you and a suitable match.

    I often ask Allah to bless me a husband from amongst the men that He loves......because if Allah loves him.....then what is there for me not to love?

    There is nothing wrong in seeking attraction in a marriage and the same person that stands in qiyaam at night and calls others to Allahs path during the day, is the very same person that can take your breath away as a spouse.

    If you want that kind of marriage, ask Allah swt....perhaps Allah swt has a beautiful love story written in his taqdeer for you, and this is not difficult for him.
    I like it the way you put your explanation across..mashAllah

    Leave a comment:


  • Jenicca
    replied
    Re: The Full Package

    If you are expecting from the created, there you are in trouble.

    If you are asking from the Creator, then subhan'Allah there is nothing that is lacking in HIs vast Dominion, and nothing wrong at all in asking from Him. In fact we ought to ask from him, again and again.

    One of the sure fire ways of attracting more of Allah swt mercy and blessings in shukr, so tell your friend to utilise all that Allah swt has blessed with him to obey Allahs command, and to not be ungrateful or disobedient in this regard.

    Dont go in to specifics - ie....we may ask Allah swt to make us "patient", but in order for us to learn patience, we may have to go through a lot of trials to develop this quality.

    So perhaps just ask for khair and aafiyah in the spouse that you seek, a person who Allah swt in His Hikmah knows that is good for you and a suitable match.

    I often ask Allah to bless me a husband from amongst the men that He loves......because if Allah loves him.....then what is there for me not to love?

    There is nothing wrong in seeking attraction in a marriage and the same person that stands in qiyaam at night and calls others to Allahs path during the day, is the very same person that can take your breath away as a spouse.

    If you want that kind of marriage, ask Allah swt....perhaps Allah swt has a beautiful love story written in his taqdeer for you, and this is not difficult for him.

    Leave a comment:


  • LondonGal
    replied
    Re: The Full Package

    Originally posted by .mirror. View Post
    :wswrwb:

    Let him ask, man. A guy can dream, too. :p

    But, anyways, there's no shortage of Rizq from Allah, so what's wrong if he's asking for "full package," esp. if he is like that himself? we should be making Dua'a for the "full package" anyways from Allah, so have trust in Him and :insha: someone like that will come along, if not better.
    I agree with the posters above - I do think that what the brother is asking for is the 'basics' and is not over the top at all.

    Many people I know have found all of the above when looking for a partner - if they havent they keep on looking.

    I also agree with the post above - when you ask. Ask from Allah. Everything and anything you want. Even the sky isnt the limit. Recently, I've started to be a lot more adventurous when making my duas, after listening to some really interesting lectures about Dua.

    Leave a comment:


  • .mirror.
    replied
    Re: The Full Package

    :wswrwb:

    Let him ask, man. A guy can dream, too. :p

    But, anyways, there's no shortage of Rizq from Allah, so what's wrong if he's asking for "full package," esp. if he is like that himself? we should be making Dua'a for the "full package" anyways from Allah, so have trust in Him and :insha: someone like that will come along, if not better.

    Leave a comment:


  • Soliloquy
    replied
    Re: The Full Package

    :wswrwb:

    "Top society" can mean a lot of things, so I won't comment on that, but the rest of the list is normal and what your average person wants. He's not asking for specifics in terms of religious or intelligence (probably just wants someone who went to Uni) and neither is he saying he wants a someone who is absolutely beautiful lol. How is that asking a lot?

    However, like Kya mentioned, its when you get into the specifics that it becomes more difficult; like if he were to say "I want someone who's a Haafidha, studying to become an Alimah and she also studied Law at Uni - and she has to be under 25, from a family where they're all practising and... she must be beautiful!!!"... You get the idea.

    Tell him to try to be realistic and have his specific "MUST have's" sorted out, but also to remember thatthat which Allah has written for him will not pass him by and to make sure he understands this properly.

    Leave a comment:

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