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  • #16
    Re: The Full Package

    Yep.. thats marriage... the full package.

    1. pretty
    2. smart
    3. rich
    4. religious
    La illaha ilallah

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    • #17
      Re: The Full Package

      I say it is common because only recently my brother got married and his search involved that exact same list. Of course he will say he was humble because he only wanted deen and education. But my mom wanted good family and looks. So together it was the exact same list.

      Many of his friends were in the market searching for wife and they all had exact same list: hijabi/nikabi, good looks, Bachelor degree or on its way, good family lineage. In the end most didn't end up with anything or some only got 1 out of 4. But that is thakdri.

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      • #18
        Re: The Full Package

        Originally posted by blanchoir View Post
        Yep.. thats marriage... the full package.

        1. pretty
        2. smart
        3. rich
        4. religious
        Do such people exist?

        Originally posted by Kya View Post
        I say it is common because only recently my brother got married and his search involved that exact same list. Of course he will say he was humble because he only wanted deen and education. But my mom wanted good family and looks. So together it was the exact same list.

        Many of his friends were in the market searching for wife and they all had exact same list: hijabi/nikabi, good looks, Bachelor degree or on its way, good family lineage. In the end most didn't end up with anything or some only got 1 out of 4. But that is thakdri.
        What you are saying is, it is common to look for these things but such people are not common in the Muslim society. Which is what I think as well. Money, smarts and looks tend to corrupt people and they move away from the deen.

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        • #19
          Re: The Full Package

          I don't see what's wrong with it? He's got religious- so great mashaAllah. He wants someone intelligent- well intelligent according to our deen is someone who prepares for their death and the hereafter!! But if you mean ntelligent in the worldy sense then again,nothing wrong with that because intelligence is an attractive quality aslong as it doesn't border on arrogance and a "know it all" attitude. And let's be honest, who wants to be married to a dumbo
          Pretty- well, you have to be attracted to your spouse that in itself is a criteria to avoid glancing elsewhere inshaAllah and as far as good family- I can see why you would look for that too. It's important and it's a good environment/atmosphere to be in when your families have love for each other and have respect for each other. When your wife and parents can get along and there are no major rifts then alhamdullilah it makes marriage all the more sweeter and easier inshaAllah.

          I just don't get some of the wording like, "top society," what in Llahs name is that? Sounds toaly snobby but maybe it isn't meant like that so khair.
          *~* Learn Patience from Aasiyah (RA); Loyalty from Khadhija (RA); Sincerity from Aisha (RA) and Steadfastness from Fatima (RA).*~*

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          • #20

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            • #21
              Re: The Full Package

              When people come out of uni with their degree they feel like the world is their oyster until age some experience and age sets in to make their viewpoint more realistic.

              I agree with Kya up there. Very few lucky people end up with everything they want.

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              • #22
                Re: The Full Package


                Kya -that is a good observation and I do agree with it.
                Originally posted by In my Opinion View Post
                When people come out of uni with their degree they feel like the world is their oyster until age some experience and age sets in to make their viewpoint more realistic.

                I agree with Kya up there. Very few lucky people end up with everything they want.
                ^^ Agree with you both.

                JKK for your thoughts and views Kya. JKK to all those who responded thus far. If I could rep you I would but unfortunately cannot. Instead I do make dua, I am sure you appreciate that a lot more than some cheap rep.

                Keep your thoughts and experiences coming. I am sure there are a lot more interesting views out there.

                Comment


                • #23
                  Re: The Full Package

                  Originally posted by Zesty View Post
                  I don't see what's wrong with it? He's got religious- so great mashaAllah. He wants someone intelligent- well intelligent according to our deen is someone who prepares for their death and the hereafter!! But if you mean ntelligent in the worldy sense then again,nothing wrong with that because intelligence is an attractive quality aslong as it doesn't border on arrogance and a "know it all" attitude. And let's be honest, who wants to be married to a dumbo
                  Pretty- well, you have to be attracted to your spouse that in itself is a criteria to avoid glancing elsewhere inshaAllah and as far as good family- I can see why you would look for that too. It's important and it's a good environment/atmosphere to be in when your families have love for each other and have respect for each other. When your wife and parents can get along and there are no major rifts then alhamdullilah it makes marriage all the more sweeter and easier inshaAllah.

                  I just don't get some of the wording like, "top society," what in Llahs name is that? Sounds toaly snobby but maybe it isn't meant like that so khair.
                  JKK, apologies if I came across as arrogant. It was not my intention. I was just trying to be as clear as possible. 'Top society' is a word I have heard being used for posh boys who think they are above the rest. Yeh, it is a bit snobby. I was looking for a word to express myself really.

                  If you know of a a better word, I will be interested in hearing it.

                  JazakAllah Khairun

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                  • #24
                    Re: The Full Package

                    Good hijab, acceptable beauty, good natured and humble so that she is patient with you and your situation, and willing to increase Islamic knowledge.

                    I pray that Allah grants us all good spouses, He is over all things capable.
                    والمبادرة إلى التكفير إنما تغلب على طباع من يغلب عليهم الجهل - ابن تيمية رحمه الله - بغية المرتاد

                    "Rushing towards takfir is an attitude which is dominant over those who are defeated by ignorance." - Ibn Taymiyyah Rahimahullah [Bughyatul Murtaad, page 354]

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                    • #25
                      Re: The Full Package

                      I agree with neelu. It's as shaykh anwar al awlaki said as well...everything about this duniya is tainted. People often have a fairytale like picture of marriage. I seriously thinkfairytales should be banned.
                      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JZVEydn3RKk

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                      • #26
                        Re: The Full Package

                        :wswrwb:

                        "Top society" can mean a lot of things, so I won't comment on that, but the rest of the list is normal and what your average person wants. He's not asking for specifics in terms of religious or intelligence (probably just wants someone who went to Uni) and neither is he saying he wants a someone who is absolutely beautiful lol. How is that asking a lot?

                        However, like Kya mentioned, its when you get into the specifics that it becomes more difficult; like if he were to say "I want someone who's a Haafidha, studying to become an Alimah and she also studied Law at Uni - and she has to be under 25, from a family where they're all practising and... she must be beautiful!!!"... You get the idea.

                        Tell him to try to be realistic and have his specific "MUST have's" sorted out, but also to remember thatthat which Allah has written for him will not pass him by and to make sure he understands this properly.
                        Ya Muqallib al-Quloob, thabbit qalbi 'alaa Deenik
                        O' Converter of Hearts, make my heart steadfast upon Thy Way
                        We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark; the real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the light.

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                        • #27
                          Re: The Full Package

                          :wswrwb:

                          Let him ask, man. A guy can dream, too. :p

                          But, anyways, there's no shortage of Rizq from Allah, so what's wrong if he's asking for "full package," esp. if he is like that himself? we should be making Dua'a for the "full package" anyways from Allah, so have trust in Him and :insha: someone like that will come along, if not better.
                          Secure few moments, everyday, to reflect upon the innumerable blessings of Allah and thank Him for bestowing them upon you.

                          "A person who is blessed with the ability to be grateful, shall never be deprived of barakah and increase in blessings."
                          - Rasulullah (صلی اللہ علیہ وسلم)‎

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                          • #28
                            Re: The Full Package

                            Originally posted by .mirror. View Post
                            :wswrwb:

                            Let him ask, man. A guy can dream, too. :p

                            But, anyways, there's no shortage of Rizq from Allah, so what's wrong if he's asking for "full package," esp. if he is like that himself? we should be making Dua'a for the "full package" anyways from Allah, so have trust in Him and :insha: someone like that will come along, if not better.
                            I agree with the posters above - I do think that what the brother is asking for is the 'basics' and is not over the top at all.

                            Many people I know have found all of the above when looking for a partner - if they havent they keep on looking.

                            I also agree with the post above - when you ask. Ask from Allah. Everything and anything you want. Even the sky isnt the limit. Recently, I've started to be a lot more adventurous when making my duas, after listening to some really interesting lectures about Dua.
                            https://sufisticated101.wordpress.com

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                            • #29
                              Re: The Full Package

                              If you are expecting from the created, there you are in trouble.

                              If you are asking from the Creator, then subhan'Allah there is nothing that is lacking in HIs vast Dominion, and nothing wrong at all in asking from Him. In fact we ought to ask from him, again and again.

                              One of the sure fire ways of attracting more of Allah swt mercy and blessings in shukr, so tell your friend to utilise all that Allah swt has blessed with him to obey Allahs command, and to not be ungrateful or disobedient in this regard.

                              Dont go in to specifics - ie....we may ask Allah swt to make us "patient", but in order for us to learn patience, we may have to go through a lot of trials to develop this quality.

                              So perhaps just ask for khair and aafiyah in the spouse that you seek, a person who Allah swt in His Hikmah knows that is good for you and a suitable match.

                              I often ask Allah to bless me a husband from amongst the men that He loves......because if Allah loves him.....then what is there for me not to love?

                              There is nothing wrong in seeking attraction in a marriage and the same person that stands in qiyaam at night and calls others to Allahs path during the day, is the very same person that can take your breath away as a spouse.

                              If you want that kind of marriage, ask Allah swt....perhaps Allah swt has a beautiful love story written in his taqdeer for you, and this is not difficult for him.
                              وَالْعَصْرِ

                              إِنَّ الْإِنسَانَ لَفِي خُسْرٍ

                              إِلَّا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا وَعَمِلُوا الصَّالِحَاتِ وَتَوَاصَوْا بِالْحَقِّ وَتَوَاصَوْا بِالصَّبْرِ

                              "If Allah (swt) only sent this Surah to us, for the guidance of Mankind, this will be enough for us - Imam Shaafi'ee r.a.

                              "Yeh dunya daar e faani hain, Tum apna dil mat lagaon, Ganimat samaj zinadagee ki bahar, aana na hoga, yahaa baar baar......"

                              Khanqah Habibiyah

                              Comment


                              • #30
                                Re: The Full Package

                                Originally posted by Jenicca View Post
                                If you are expecting from the created, there you are in trouble.

                                If you are asking from the Creator, then subhan'Allah there is nothing that is lacking in HIs vast Dominion, and nothing wrong at all in asking from Him. In fact we ought to ask from him, again and again.

                                One of the sure fire ways of attracting more of Allah swt mercy and blessings in shukr, so tell your friend to utilise all that Allah swt has blessed with him to obey Allahs command, and to not be ungrateful or disobedient in this regard.

                                Dont go in to specifics - ie....we may ask Allah swt to make us "patient", but in order Jfor us to learn patience, we may have to go through a lot of trials to develop this quality.

                                So perhaps just ask for khair and aafiyah in the spouse that you seek, a person who Allah swt in His Hikmah knows that is good for you and a suitable match.

                                I often ask Allah to bless me a husband from amongst the men that He loves......because if Allah loves him.....then what is there for me not to love?

                                There is nothing wrong in seeking attraction in a marriage and the same person that stands in qiyaam at night and calls others to Allahs path during the day, is the very same person that can take your breath away as a spouse.

                                If you want that kind of marriage, ask Allah swt....perhaps Allah swt has a beautiful love story written in his taqdeer for you, and this is not difficult for him.
                                I like it the way you put your explanation across..mashAllah
                                If Allah brings you to it,He will bring you through it.

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