Ads by Muslim Ad Network

Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Never married sisters: How do you feel about young divorced guy?

Collapse
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • weddingrings
    replied
    Re: Never married sisters: How do you feel about young divorced guy?

    Diamond Delight is the best online store to buy diamond jewellery such as engagement rings, diamond rings, wedding rings,
    weddingrings

    Leave a comment:


  • samin62
    replied
    Re: Never married sisters: How do you feel about young divorced guy?

    Originally posted by Kya View Post
    What surprises me often is when I see a guy in his mid to late 30’s seeking marriage for the first time? I wonder how he could have been single all these years. Also when I see guy who is in his mid to late 20’s who has been divorced for few years.

    What happened?
    former is some guys like to establish themselves or have other priorities. It doesn't automatically mean something is wrong.

    latter is, sometime it doesn't work out or there are outside complications that separates the couple. Also doesn't mean something is wrong. My good friend got divorced when he was 20

    Leave a comment:


  • Kya
    replied

    Leave a comment:


  • Beblessed
    replied
    Re: Never married sisters: How do you feel about young divorced guy?

    Originally posted by AbuIbraheem. View Post
    It's better to marry and divorce than commit zina.

    Allah (swt) made marriage and divorce easy. It's only the people who have made it hard, if you look at the time of the sahabah you will find divorce was pretty common.
    It's better to marry the wrong person and divorce than to delay marriage for years and end up committing zina.
    true. but what i was saying making divorce too easy upon themselves and marriage very hard, and not trying for marriage to work, giving up easily.

    "The permissible thing which is most disliked by Allah is divorce."

    Leave a comment:


  • AbuIbraheem.
    replied
    Re: Never married sisters: How do you feel about young divorced guy?

    Originally posted by Beblessed View Post
    and divorce so easy
    isnt it what shaitaan wanted.
    It's better to marry and divorce than commit zina.

    Allah (swt) made marriage and divorce easy. It's only the people who have made it hard, if you look at the time of the sahabah you will find divorce was pretty common.
    It's better to marry the wrong person and divorce than to delay marriage for years and end up committing zina.

    Leave a comment:


  • Beblessed
    replied
    Re: Never married sisters: How do you feel about young divorced guy?

    Originally posted by AbuIbraheem. View Post

    People make marriage so hard nowadays.
    and divorce so easy
    isnt it what shaitaan wanted.

    Leave a comment:


  • purple89
    replied
    Re: Never married sisters: How do you feel about young divorced guy?

    Originally posted by naila-k View Post
    you wouldnt marry him? she got khula btw.
    There may have been other issues at play but just by the information posted earlier I would not. It seems like the reasons for divorce could have been discussed prior to marriage. I agree with sis Kya you have to put a little effort in before throwing in the towel. Having said that in the case of khula or when the other spouse has no choice I don't believe I would begrudge someone that if they at least tried to work it out.

    Leave a comment:


  • naila-k
    replied
    Re: Never married sisters: How do you feel about young divorced guy?

    but sis you dont know, you cant generalise like that really. Say it was the other partner who didnt want to fix it or got the divorce/khula.

    Leave a comment:


  • Kya
    replied
    Re: Never married sisters: How do you feel about young divorced guy?

    I always end up wondering, how much of an effort did this person put in to their marraige? If the marriage didn't even last a year, it means one or both of them gave up trying to fix it. That makes me wondering what will he do in his 2nd marriage. Will he give up when sh1t hits the roof or will he hang on even when it seems hopeless.

    I think i heard on radio, a divorce guy is more likely to be divorce 2nd time vs. those who have never been married. But a 3rd marriage has greater chance of survival than any other category man.

    Leave a comment:


  • naila-k
    replied
    Re: Never married sisters: How do you feel about young divorced guy?

    you wouldnt marry him? she got khula btw.

    Leave a comment:


  • purple89
    replied
    Re: Never married sisters: How do you feel about young divorced guy?

    Originally posted by naila-k View Post
    My friends brother got married then went back to the country he was working, and in that time before rukhsiti there were a few misunderstandings, like he viewed her as his wife and she didnt like the way he talked to her, he thought she demanded too much stuff etc then before living together they got divorced,

    i dont think either of them had any emotional baggage in this situation. the girl was only 16, and they were related as well.
    I don't know how I would feel about a divorcee because all situations differ but if the situation was like the one mentioned above then never.

    Leave a comment:


  • AbuIbraheem.
    replied
    Re: Never married sisters: How do you feel about young divorced guy?

    "Idhaa ataakum man tardhauna deenahu wa khuluqahu fa zawwijoohu. Illaa taf'aloo takun fitnatun fiy al-ardhi wa fasaadun kabeerun."
    "If someone with whose piety and character you are satisfied with comes to you, marry to him. If you do not do so, there will be trials in the earth and a great deal of evil." At-Tirmidhi and others and it is hassan

    Nothing about Divorce here.
    Many divorced Sahabah married women that had not been married before and some never married Men married women that had been married before.

    People make marriage so hard nowadays.

    Turn down the one who guarded himself and had a halal relationship whereas people are willing to overlook the guy who was Jahil and had a girlfriend because he isn't 'Divorced'.

    Leave a comment:


  • Soliloquy
    replied
    Re: Never married sisters: How do you feel about young divorced guy?

    Originally posted by Optimistic View Post
    Oh some thing else I've just thought of,the first love is always your real first and true love.
    So lol I was 2nds
    No offence, but that's ridiculous; there is no general rule.

    Leave a comment:


  • Soliloquy
    replied
    Re: Never married sisters: How do you feel about young divorced guy?

    I have a lovely, and I mean an absolutely lovely, friend who got married a couple of years ago and divorced soon after. She's 21 and she's divorced, remarrying must be such a scary prospect for those in her position - may Allah make it easier for them. The divorce wasn't her fault, he turned out to be other than he presented himself as and if there was a Brother in her position where his wife was the one entirely at fault... then yes, provided everything else is as I want it to be, I would marry him and pray Allah blesses my decision.

    Where its more complicated, it would depend on the reasoning; divorce is a serious matter, I expect it to have been taken seriously.

    Originally posted by Kya View Post
    As much as I try to be open minded, I often find myself not to be as open minded when I am facing the situation. When i see a brother with divorce status, I am reluctant to get to know him because:
    1) What will people say? Even if my parents agree, there will be others making comment. Do I really want to hear all those for a guy I don’t know? Of course I will get to know him before marriage but do I really want to get to know him?

    I couldn't care less what anyone says about him being divorced (i.e. specifically about this and not anything else about him, as that may be constructive criticism) if I am content with the prospect of marrying him.

    2) Emotional damage his divorce brought to him. Breakup is bad but divorce is worst and on a young guy with no life experience, that will have huge impact on him. Do I want to deal with it? But of course not every brother has those issues. Again the question comes do I really want to find out the depth of his emotional damage

    That comes with finding out about his character, thoughts, etc. now... So yes, I'd want to find out about the depth of his emotional damage. Idk, I just think people who have been through troubles can have the best of characters because Allah has tested them and Allah tests those whom He loves... tests build up character, strengthen your reliance on Allah, make you appreciate the good things in your life better, make you try harder, etc. Especially in a guy my age, most of them probably still have their mothers looking after them with them having to barely lift a hand, or ask for anything.

    3) If a brother is married at young age, old enough to be looking for his 1st marriage, then I worry about his decision making skill. Is he just terrible at picking girl and if so I am another bad choose or has he learned his lesson?

    Like Sam said, maybe it is the Qadr of Allah. My friend's case makes me wonder because she's very clever and decent, sometimes we're just taken in and don't realise... I'd want to know why he divorced though.

    I feel really weird dealing with this situation. I am usually reluctant to get to know a guy because i envision 101 problems before I even met him.

    If its meant to be, it will be... you can decide if you can be bothered to deal with these problems after a meeting or two, because some people are actually worth it.

    Leave a comment:


  • Optimistic
    replied
    Re: Never married sisters: How do you feel about young divorced guy?

    I married a divorcee when I did get married,and I consider it a bad move from me now that I am divorced.

    So you can answer the question for yourself whether it's the right thing to do.

    It does not mean that all men that are divorced arent good people.you can find some great people that are divorced,but the marriage didn't work out.

    It just depends on how much your going to question their previous marriage... And how open minded you are.
    Like I said the first time I got married,by the way I've only been married once, wasn't the right move by me.i didn't dig deep enough into the past,I was just bit to casual about the whole divorce topic.

    Oh some thing else I've just thought of,the first love is always your real first and true love.
    So lol I was 2nds
    Last edited by Optimistic; 24-07-12, 06:16 PM.

    Leave a comment:

Working...
X